Chapter 20: Evie

Four months later, Hera had an unexpected phone call. Then, “Barry, we need to talk.”

Barry was never good at hiding his emotional reactions. He looked terrified.

“No, relax! It’s not a problem between us.

“I’ve had some news. There is one exception to my alien life story. I have an Uncle Peter who I actually get along with—unlike the rest of my family, who should all be in prison, or worse. All of them except Peter.

“I’ve just learned, sadly, that he has a terminal disease, his wife is dead, and his daughter Evie is going to be orphaned. Peter and Evie have been discussing what should happen, and they agree that I am the only family she should be in contact with once he’s gone, which could happen any day now.

“Evie is almost exactly your age, Barry. I’m considering that she should move in with us. What do you think?”

“Hera, this is your house, I wasn’t even paying rent when I first moved in. But I imagine from what you have told me about him that Mike would be encouraging. I can’t imagine being alone in the world while still in high school. Please tell her she’s welcome to move in with us.”

So Evie joins the household with Hera and Barry. She is surprised and then amused that her older cousin Hera is living romantically with a high school student, Barry, who is the same age as her.

Her genetics are close to Hera’s, she has the same pile of black curls on her head, curvy physique, and Mediterranean skin coloring and gorgeous brown eyes. Peter was a university professor and had impressed Evie with a love of reading from an early age, giving her a wide vocabulary and high academic achievement.

A few weeks later, Evie wakes up and realizes she has about twenty seconds before her period-related diarrhea is going to explode out of her ass, so she rushes into the bathroom for a gassy and noisy case of the runs.

Unfortunately, Barry is showering at that moment so she gets an eyeful of naked Barry in the midst of her deep embarrassment.

Later, Larry, Diane, Evie, and Barry were seated at their usual table in the lunchroom.

“Evie, you’re redder than the alleged tomato sauce on this alleged spaghetti. What’s wrong?” asked Diane.

“Alleged? You talk like the daughter of lawyers, which, I guess, is what you are. OK, I’m embarrassed. I walked in on Barry while he was in the shower this morning.”

“He’s really beautiful, don’t you think?”

“He is, but I was too busy at the time being sick to enjoy the view. I was much too embarrassed by my noises and smells.”

“Maybe we can talk about this later?” suggested Larry, looking uncomfortable.

“Single father raised you, right, Evie? The reality is a whole lot of women have these issues around their cycles. It’s just another fun part of womanhood, like obnoxious males. Your dad didn’t prepare you well for all this monthly fun.”

Barry added, “And Hera doesn’t have periods, so I don’t know much either. But both before and after this morning, I think you’re cute and sexy, Evie. Don’t be self-conscious over something you can’t control.”

“Oh, you’re just being nice because you have to live with my stinky ass.”

“Your ass, stinky or not, is totally adorable. And MY ass doesn’t always smell like roses—because we’re human beings. Somebody wise said that it’s crazy that our recreation area is right next to the garbage dump.”

Evie giggled.

“Let’s not talk about it anymore. Look at Larry’s face; he is too delicate for these subjects.

“Now that you’re all enrolled and have your books, what do you think about Morehead High?”

Realignment

Three months later, the three of them were seated at Hera’s dining table, sated after yet another incredible meal.

“After your cooking, it’s hard to stomach that lunchroom food anymore. Thank you, sweetie,” said Barry.

“Today is Evie’s four month anniversary with us, Barry, and I have something to say. Making food has always come easy to me. When you and Larry kind of fell into my lap, that was easy, too. I was so horny after being a widow for so long.

“But what is easy might not be what is best. Barry, you should be involved with someone your own age, not an older widow. No, let me finish. It’s not good for you, because you are getting nookie all the time without any effort.

“I think that part of becoming a grown man is learning how to develop new relationships, how to handle rejection, and so on.

“Most of all, it’s taking on responsibility for another person. Your partner’s health, growth, comfort, everything—it should be your prime concern. I’m completely self-sufficient, you don’t have any obligations to me. If by some miracle I got pregnant, you couldn’t support me and the baby—although I’m sure you would try.

“No, don’t be upset. You’re a wonderful young man, I love you. But in truth, you’re my dependent, not my partner. I need to get up on my horse and look for my next life partner, my next Mike.

“And you don’t have to be sad or worried, I’m not kicking you out. The solution is so obvious. Evie is infatuated with you, Barry, she’s just not able to say so. And I know she fascinates you, as well. I want you to act on your mutual attraction, without being concerned about me.

“What do you think? Evie?”

“This is crazy! Barry is YOUR partner; I don’t want to be breaking you up.”

“It won’t be you, it’s me. Like I just said. Admit it, you want him like I do. He’s gorgeous, smart, sweet, and he’s really fit with those football muscles. I know you want to undress him; I can see it in your eyes. And I can tell that Barry has the same feelings towards you.

“Barry! Reassure her, tell her you want to be her boyfriend.”

“I’m feeling disloyal to you, Hera, but yes, I do.”

“Then, by the power vested in me by the goddess Aphrodite, I pronounce you girl- and boyfriend. Kiss each other! Now, for heaven’s sake!”

“Evie, it’s OK, Hera can be—Mnph!”

“Ah, my work is done. I’m going to bed, ALONE. You two figure it out, you don’t need me.”

Developing

As Hera left, they were still lip-locked, his strong arms wrapped tightly around Evie’s back.

“Evie, I’m still a little shocked. You’re so pretty, there must be other—Mnph!”

“Do me a favor, Barry, stop talking and come to my bed. I have been desiring you long before I saw you in the shower. Just come with me, and I do mean, come!”

In Evie’s room, she ripped off her clothes and turned to look at Barry. Impatiently, “Why are you still dressed? Is this,” gesturing at her nude body, “not attractive to you?”