I was in the final one hundred miles of my 1250 mile trip to my former hometown that I left many years ago. I had not returned to my hometown in all of those years. I arrived there in the mid afternoon and I could barely recognize the little mid western town. This is where I had grown up and had gone to elementary and high school.

On my arrival, I found that this little town had changed dramatically. It was kind of like I had stopped in the wrong town. In the many years since I had been gone it certainly had changed so dramatically it was really difficult for me to recognize it as being my hometown.

I was born and raised in this little town and left just after I had turned 18 and had just graduated from high school. I am the older of two children and my little Sister is four years younger than I am. So when I left my hometown my Sister, Brianna, had just started high school at the age of 14.

My Mother was 34 at the time I was born and my Father was nearly 20 years older than my Mother. I think that my father being so much older than I was probably was the reason that he had very little love if any for me at all.

He may have thought that I was responsible for my mother’s death and he could never get over it. Someone once told me that maybe it was a manifestation of what I later learned to be misplaced anger. How the hell did I know I wasn’t a head shrink.

My Mother, Silvia, was a very loving and gentle lady and I really had a great love for my Mother. From what I could remember of the pictures I had seen that were taken of her long before I left home she was a very beautiful young woman.

However, my Sister was a very little girl and our whole world came crashing down and buried us in the falling debris. My beautiful loving Mother died three or four years after the birth of my sister, Brianna. My Sister and I were raised by my Father and my Aunt, my Father’s older sister who died when I was 14 just after I had started in high school.

My Father, Frank, never seemed to have much use for me as I could never do any good in my father’s eyes while my sister could never do any wrong. It was never revealed to me what the source of his animosity towards me was. Of course, all these years later I thought I would never know and now I really didn’t care. I was far past the point of caring about what he thought. He obviously didn’t give a shit about what I thought.

However, after such a long time of enduring his animosity it became unbearable. I never held my sister responsible for the attitude my father had shown me and I got along well with her as best as I could, given our age difference.

Brianna and I loved and looked out for one another. She loved to do many things with me and tagged along with me when she could. I really didn’t mind her being with me because she was really cute and inquisitive and was the only family member that treated me well.

Also, Brianna had no other immediate family member to be close to. Many nights she would quietly come into my bedroom and crawl into bed with me, kiss me and ask to sleep in my bed with me. I would put my arms around her and hold her until we both went to sleep.

Brianna always loved me holding her in my arms before we both drifted off to sleep that way. I often wondered if our Mother had still been alive if Brianna would have crawled n bed with her instead of me. She probably would have but, I guess that no one will ever know.

During my senior year in high school I’d had enough of the really poor treatment I regularly received from my Father. I decided that since I would be turning 18 just before graduation that with my good grades and my good physical fitness I was going to join the military.

One day about a month before graduation I went downtown to see the Military recruiter and entered an agreement that I would join the US Military after my high school graduation. The week after graduation I was to report for induction into the Military.

I told Brianna the night before I was to leave for induction into the Military but, I swore her to secrecy as the tears began to form in her sad little eyes. I told her that she couldn’t tell anyone at all before I left especially not the old man.

It nearly broke my heart to see her crying when I told her that I was going to be leaving. However, I didn’t say one damn word to the old man. I kissed Brianna and told her that I loved her and that I was leaving. I held her tightly telling her again that I loved her and she was the sweetest most loving little Sister a brother could ever have as she continued to cry on my shoulder.

The next day I left for boot camp and never said a word to the old man or to anyone else besides Brianna. I’m sure that when they asked her she told them what she knew but the old man never tried to contact me at all after I had left. He knew full well he couldn’t do anything about it since I was over18 already.

Then that next day I just picked up and “Got the hell out of Dodge” as the saying goes. I didn’t know and didn’t give a tinker’s damn if the old man cared about me leaving or not. And I still don’t give a damn either for that matter after all of these years.

There wasn’t a damn thing that he could do about it anyway, I continued to assure myself. The only one I really cared about was Brianna. After I reported for induction I was sent to boot camp and then later deployed with my unit to an overseas location. I had more deployments to several overseas locations and volunteered for others.

I never came home on leave and ultimately lost contact with any relatives including Brianna which I really regretted and wished that there was some way I could have done better than that for her.

I guess that is the one thing I would really love to do over again. I chose not to come home on leave thinking that I would not be welcome by the old man anyway. I thought that he would be pissed off at me and maybe even take it out on Brianna for not telling him beforehand.

After my overseas deployments I had been stationed at several overseas bases during my four hitches. I re-upped after my first hitch for a second hitch and when I returned to the states I had several assignments at various bases around the country.

At the end of my second hitch I re-upped for a third and then a forth hitch and then I went through several more overseas assignments and state side assignments. I was stationed at several different bases around the country stateside.

Near the end of my forth hitch I was severely injured in an accident and was given a disability discharge at the end of my hitch in Texas. It kind of felt like I was at home in Texas and I thought that I would ultimately stay there.

Before I was discharged I had applied to several universities and was accepted to a university in the West Texas and enrolled there in computer science. With all of the overseas pay that I had saved I had a good sum of money put away from my four hitches in the Military.

With my savings and the help of the veteran’s college program I was able to make it through the university working part time as well. I received my degree at the end of the four years and decided to take some time before I began to look for a job and go see if I could trace down my sister and father from whom I had not had any contact since I originally joined the Military and since my graduation from high school.

Upon my arrival in my hometown I had real difficulty in recognizing the streets and buildings that I knew when I was a teenager since things had changed so much. Slowly I did begin to recognize some of the businesses, buildings and houses that I knew when I was in high school.

I was even able to find my old high school which I was told later was not a high school any more. Once I found my old high school I was able to make my way to the street that my boyhood home was located on and I then found my old boyhood home. After all this time everything seemed to be so strange even for me having grown up there.

I pulled up into the driveway of my former boyhood home and walked up the steps and knocked on the door. A young woman with a baby in her arms and a toddler clinging to her skirt answered the door.

When the lady answered the door, I greeted her and told her, “Good morning, Ma’am. My name is Larry Buchanan and I was born and raised in this house and lived here until I graduated from high school over 20 years ago.

I’m trying to trace down my family, my Father, Frank, and my Sister, Brianna. I have not heard from them in the many years since I have been gone and have served in the US Military. Do you have any information on either of them that you can give me, please?”

She told me her name and said, “My family and I have lived here for several years and I’m sorry but, I don’t know your family or have any information on them, sir. My husband and I bought the home through a realtor but the name of the previous owner of the house was not Buchanan.”

“Can you give me the name of that realtor, please, Ma’am?” and she gave me the name of the realtor that had handled the sale of the house. Can you tell me where their offices are located, please?” She gave me that information.

I thanked her politely and left to go find the realtor. As I left I could see that the house had been kept up pretty well and appeared to have been painted again not too long ago. However, I think that it was a different color from what it was when I lived there. Things slowly began to come back to me despite all of the changes.

Driving downtown I found the realtor’s office, introduced myself and told the receptionist the reason for my visit. She asked me to have a seat and wait while she consulted with her boss.

Several minutes later a very neatly dressed older lady came out of her office and asked how she could help me. I repeated my story to her and asked her if she could help me with any information on my family. She told me, “Sir, we had sold that home but we have not handled that home previously and we have no further records on it.”

I asked her, “Can you tell me which realtor did handle that home previously, Ma’am.”

She replied, “That has been many years ago and that realtor is no longer in business.”

I further asked her, “Would you happen to have any information on my father or my sister, Brianna, Ma’am?”

She replied to me, “No, I’m sorry I don’t but, you might want to consult a phone directory or do a people search on the internet.” She gave me her card and said, “If there is anything else I can do for you, please call on me, Mr. Buchanan.”

In turn I wrote my name and cell phone number on a piece of paper and I gave her my information. I told her, “If you can think of anything else that might be of help to me please give me a call, Ma’am?”

Then I asked her for the name and location of a reasonably priced motel and she said the there was one just down the street a few blocks about a block past the large fitness center. I thanked her politely and left the realtor’s offices for the motel.

I found the motel without any problem and registered for a room for overnight and asked the motel clerk, “Do you have a local phone book and do you have an internet connection?”

The desk clerk replied, “There is a local phone book in each room and an internet connection that is complimentary for your room stay, Sir.” I went to my room and checked the phone book and could find no listings for either my Father nor for my Sister either.

I retrieved my laptop from my luggage and did a people search for my Father and Sister. Again, I found no information on either of them on the internet, either. Somewhat disappointed I left my room and went out to find something to eat.

On my return to my room I got a phone call from the lady at the realtor’s office I had visited earlier. She told me, “I have spoken to my Daughter who is about the same age as your Sister, Mr. Buchanan.”

“My Daughter remembered a girl by the name of Brianna but since my Daughter is a few years younger than your Sister she does not know much about her. However, she does not know what has happened to your Sister after she and my Daughter graduated from high school. You might want to check with the high school. They may have some further information on her.”

When I left my room the next morning for breakfast I stopped in the motel office and talked to the young desk clerk. I asked if she was a resident in this town and did she go to the high school here? She responded, “Yes I am and yes I did.”

Then I told her, “When I passed by the old high school it looked like it was abandoned.”

She told me, “Oh, yes, it was but, they have built a new high school out at the edge of town.” She also told me where the new high school was located. I thanked her and returned to my room.

Later that morning I went to the new high school business office and identified myself and what I was there for. The lady behind the desk referred me to the registrar who asked me for some identification. I showed him my Texas driver’s license and my old Military identity card.

The registrar typed my name into the computer and verified that I had graduated from the high school before the new one was built. Then he typed my Sister’s name into the computer and verified that she, too, had also graduated from the high school before the new one had been built.

I asked him if he had a current address for my Sister and he responded that the last address he had was my old boyhood home address. Then I asked him if there is anyone here who might know anything about my Sister. The registrar said that he did not think so but, took my cell number and said that if he found anything he would call me.

Before I left the office the registrar suggested that I might want to check the county clerk’s office in the courthouse downtown and see if they have any information on her. I thanked him politely and left.

I left the registrar’s office and went downtown to the county court house in the town square. I identified myself and showed the clerk my driver’s license along with my Military identity card.

I told the clerk I was trying to find my father and my sister and asked if she had any records of them. About a half hour later the clerk came back to the window and said that there was a death certificate for my Father dated six years ago.

She also found a marriage certificate for my sister, Brianna Buchanan to a person by the name of Jacob Penney also dated six years ago. There was also a death certificate for Jacob Penney dated four years ago.

I went back to my motel room and checked the phone book for Brianna’s married name. There was no listing under that name and when I checked the internet I found no listing there for her either.

On a hunch I checked for a listing under Jacob Penney and got an address and a phone number. Since it was late in the evening I decided not to do anything further that day. I went out to eat and returned to my room and relaxed for the night with a bottle of Jack Black and relaxed watching a baseball game on the boob tube.

During my supper, I got to thinking. ‘Well the old man finally kicked the bucket.’ My first thought was that, ‘Who the hell cares after all the shit he handed me when I was in high school.

But, on further thought, that sure as hell wasn’t very charitable of me or very respectful of the dead especially of the man who fathered me and brought me into this world. Maybe he turned over a new leaf before he croaked.

Then I figured, Ah, hell that’s highly unlikely the old bastard did that. Hell I guess that I’m just a hardnosed old retired ground pounder that has seen too damn much grief in this world’.

The next morning I went to breakfast and returned to my room where I called the number for Jacob Penney. When I called the number I got a phone company recording saying that the number was no longer in service. I uttered a couple of unique military expletives under my breath that I had just run down another damned blind alley.

There was one last lead and that was the address for Jacob Penney listed on the internet. I was glad that I had recorded that address shown on the internet. That sure saved me some time and aggravation having to look it up again anyway.

I got into my car and drove out to the address and found that it was a rather large home a couple of miles outside of town on what looked like a rather large wooded and gated estate. I thought to myself, ‘This place must have been built after I left town to join the service. I sure don’t remember it being here back before I left town to join the service. Whoever owns it had to have put some big time money into it at the get go’.

Pulling up in the drive way, I went up to and knocked on the front door. I was greeted by an older lady who appeared to be the maid or the house keeper of the home. I identified myself and told the lady, “Ma’am I’m looking for my sister, Brianna Buchanan Penney and would like to know if this is her residence?”

The lady told me, “Yes, it is but, she is not here right now.”

I asked her, “When will she be back or where can I find her, Ma’am?”

The lady told me, “She’s at work at the fitness center down town.” and she gave me the address. I politely thanked the lady for her help and I left. I drove back downtown and found the fitness center which was only about a block from my motel and parked in the parking lot out in front of the building. I walked into the building and asked the young lady at the window, “Is there a lady by the name of Brianna Buchanan here, Miss.”

She immediately responded, “No, but, there is a lady by the name of Brianna Penney here.”

I quickly asked, “May I speak with Miss Penney, please, Miss.”

The clerk left her work station, walked down the hall and told the lady that she had a visitor. The clerk returned to the window and told me that she would be right out to see me momentarily.

A couple of minutes later a gorgeous, very shapely young woman in her early to mid 30’s came out of the office, walked up to the window and asked how she could help me. I was nearly astounded because the lady looked exactly like the picture of my mother had from over 40 years ago.

I told her, “My name is Larry Buchanan.” and her face immediately went blank like all the blood appeared to have drained out of her face as though she had just seen a ghost.

She immediately came out from behind the counter and threw her arms around my neck and hugged me very closely with tears in her eyes. She then said through her tears, “When I saw you I thought that I was looking at my Father’s ghost or maybe even my Brother.

I had thought that I was never going to see my Brother again or that maybe you were dead, too, like our Dad and my husband. I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you and find that you are still alive, Larry.” as the tears streamed down her pretty face. Brianna immediately turned to the clerk with tears still streaming down her face and asked her, “Please have my assistant come to the window?”

In the meantime I told her of the things that I had to go through in order to find her and that I had almost given up hope of finding her. A couple of minutes later her assistant came to the window and Brianna told her, “This is my brother, Larry. I have not seen him in over 20 years and I’m going to take some time off to visit with him.

I’m going to be out of the office the rest of the day and tomorrow and maybe even the rest of the week. So, in the meantime you are in charge and if you need anything call me on my cell please?” Her assistant nodded, told her Ok and to enjoy her time with her Brother.

Then Brianna asked me, “How long have you been in town, Larry, and where are you staying?”

“I have been here for a couple of days looking for you and I have been staying at the motel down the street. And I’m damned if you weren’t right here within one block of the motel that I was staying in. Isn’t that the way things always go?”

“I’ll follow you in my car to the motel and after you have checked out you can follow me out to my home. I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you again and that we have so much to talk about and catch up on after we have been apart for so many years, Larry. I was deathly afraid that you were dead and I’d never see you again.”

I checked out of the motel and I followed her out to her home. When she turned into the driveway she drove around to the back of the house and parked in front of the garage and motioned for me to park there, too. She got out of her car and told me, “Bring your luggage into the house since you are going to be staying here with me now, Larry.”

As we came in the back door she was greeted by her housekeeper, Gertie, and she introduced me to Gertie. She responded “I met him earlier this morning when he was here asking for you, Brianna.”

I told Brianna, “That is how I found out where you were.”

Brianna asked, “Do you want anything to eat or drink, Larry?”

“I’ll have a cup of coffee or a beer if you’ll have one with me.”

She asked Gertie to serve us both a cup of coffee. Brianna related to me, “I didn’t realize it at the time but, I did later and I know just how Dad had made your life a living hell while you were in high school. And I really wished that I could have done something about it, Larry.”

“I didn’t harbor any ill will toward you, Brianna. I had no reason to be mad at you. And that is water long gone under the bridge. You were just a young kid starting in high school then and you really didn’t know what was happening.

And you had no ability to do anything about it even if you had known and understood what was going on. I really didn’t have any way of doing anything about it either. That’s why I left here in the first place.”

Then she asked me about my life since I left home. I began to tell her, “Well, I had joined the Military and had several tours of duty in several overseas locations and the rest of my four hitches in various assignments overseas in many countries and many bases stateside.

Then I left the Military and went to college on the GI Bill and I just received my degree in Computer Science from a university in Texas. After graduation from the university, I decided to try and track you down and reestablish contact with you and our Dad. However, I just found out yesterday that the old man was dead. Then I had a hell of a time tracking you down which finally paid off this morning.”

Brianna said, “I had missed you a lot after you left, Larry, and since I went through elementary school and high school with good grades. I had been accepted to the state university with a full ride scholarship and graduated with a degree in Business Management.

Dad had paid for all of my expenses that the scholarship didn’t cover. Our Dad treated me well unlike how he had treated, you, Larry. I really didn’t blame you for leaving to join the Military after you graduated from high school. I don’t know how you stood it for as long as you did. I wouldn’t have blamed you for leaving a lot sooner but, it sure left me really lonely when you did leave. It just left me and Dad in that old house.

After graduating from college I came back here and was hired to work for Jacob Penney at the fitness center and shortly thereafter we were married. Dad died later that year and a couple of years later Jacob died of a massive heart attack.

Jacob was the sole owner of the fitness center business. Jacob had been divorced from his wife for several years before I had come to work for him and his previous wife had no claim on any of his property or business.

They did not have any kids and then as I was his current wife I became sole owner of the business, his life insurance and this property as shown in his will.

Jacob had helped me sell our old home after Dad died and I received all of the money from our old home and the rest of our Dad’s assets including his life insurance. I put all of those assets into high quality, high yield investments in your name with me as the administrator and beneficiary in the event of your death. Rightfully at least half of all that money belongs to you, Larry.

However, I have never touched any of the money other than to pay the taxes as I did not need any of that money. I want you to have all of that money, Honey.”

“Brianna, I don’t want any of Dad’s money and I’m not going to take your half of that money, either. I could not do that in good conscious and I don’t want anything that came from our Dad.

I thought that by now I could have put all of that behind me because I really wanted to find you and I don’t know how I would have reacted if I had found that our Dad was still alive.

Holy cow, Brianna, I didn’t realize that those old wounds were really that deep and have been reopened since I have come back to town to find you. The only good thing that has come out of all of this is that I have found you still alive and you are doing well.

You have made something of your own life and that really makes me happy, Honey. And I love you just as much as when I left here all those many years ago when you were just a little girl in high school.”

Brianna admonished me by saying, “Dad owes you that much for all of the grief that you had been subjected to when you were a kid and a young man in high school, Larry. “Besides,” she told me “The last time I looked that account is worth well over a quarter of a million dollars. In addition to that, my business is worth that much and a whole lot more than that not to mention the value of this property.

Plus my business is a cash cow.” She went on, rather forcefully, “My mind is made up and don’t argue with me. You are owed that much from me and our late Mom if not from our Dad, Larry. You looked out for me and protected me all the time before you left and I really loved you for it.”

Brianna then asked me, “What are your plans for the immediate future Larry?”

I told her “I have already reached my immediate goal of finding you and the next thing I want to do is to go out to the cemetery and visit Mom’s grave and visit with her at her grave.

It’s been more years than I care to think about since I have been out to visit her grave and I promised myself that I would visit her grave and put a bouquet of flowers on it after I found you.”

“Dad’s ashes are buried next to Mom and we can go to the cemetery after lunch if you’d like to do that, Larry.”

“That’s fitting. They burned his lousy ass after he croaked. He burned my ass more times than I can ever remember before he croaked, too.” Brianna just kind of scowled at me knowing that I was being truthful about what I said but, I shouldn’t have said it or at least not in that manner. However, she didn’t say anything to admonish or chastise me for what I had said. She knew that was just my long held bitterness talking.

I quickly replied, “That’ll be great, Sis. Just stop me if I start to piss on the old man’s grave. Then, I’m going to have to look for a job somewhere before what little money I still have runs out and I’m as flat broke as I was when I was in boot camp.”

She just giggled a little bit and said, “First of all, it’s against the law to expose yourself in public like that. And second with your new found wealth you won’t have to look for a job for some time before it runs out.

You’ll get tired of sitting on your ass long before that money runs out. I know that you can’t sit on your ass for more than a couple of days let alone that length of time for the money to run out.”

I smiled and put my arms around her shoulders and kissed her as I have not done since she was a little school girl. She put her arms around me and with tears forming in the corners of her eyes she told me “I’m really glad that you’re home here with me and I love you so much, Larry.

This takes me back all of those years to how you took care of me when we were both little kids at home in our old house, Larry. Now let’s see what we can do about getting us some lunch, Ok?” She called Gertie and asked her to prepare some lunch for all of us.

In the meantime Brianna told me, “Let me show you to one of the guest bedrooms so you can put your luggage in there. You are going to stay with me from now on, Larry. That is until you make up your mind what you want to do about getting a job or if you want to go back to Texas.” Gertie made us a very tasty lunch which we enjoyed with a glass of wine along with Gertie as she ate her lunch with us.

Then after lunch Brianna told Gertie, “We’re going out to the cemetery to visit our parent’s graves, Gertie. We’ll be back sometime this afternoon” And she drove us out there to visit Mom’s grave after we stopped to pick up a bouquet of flowers.

When we got to Mom’s grave I noted that it was a dual head stone with Mom’s date of birth and death along with Dad’s life information as well. Brianna was standing beside me at the grave and I put my arm around her and we both had tears in our eyes.

I told Brianna, “I know that you probably don’t remember our Mother but, she was such a good, gentle, tender and loving Mother and that my world nearly ended for me the day that Mom died. I still love her like I did the day she died. God, I sure wish she was here with us now, Brianna. You remind me of what I can still remember about her, Honey.”