Chapter 2: The Zoo

In the morning Jackie came bounding down looking as beautiful as ever. It generated a smile in me seeing her so happy and vibrant. I really longed for the days I could get drunk as she had been and get up looking as she did. Those days passed ten years earlier, now it was one in the afternoon before I was even close to being normal. We talked and interacted with the folks in the lobby having breakfast but quickly excused ourselves for different reasons going our separate ways as we had planned.

I met her at the house she planned on continuing to share with my daughter and her new husband. From there, we were off to D.C. Initially, the drive was awkward and silent. It was broken by her saying, “Thanks for last night.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, thinking she was actually being quiet because I hadn’t come into her room with her.

“You were completely a gentleman. I don’t think any of the other guys last night would’ve been that way,” she said.

“So you’re not upset with me?” I asked thrilled she thought I was a gentleman despite having my cock pressing into her as I hugged her goodnight.

“Oh no. I had too much to drink and I think I would’ve done something I’d have regretted this morning.” Her whole body slunk into the seat shyly admitting something she rather not.

I thought I knew what she was saying and was crestfallen that she thought sex with me would be regrettable. And I guess my, “Oh” said it.

“Oh no, nothing like that. I’ve grown up a lot since meeting Karen, and now I want my first experience to be something memorable,” she said sort of meekly.

“First experience? I thought you met Karen when her boyfriend, Will, brought you home with him from the bar to have a three-way?” I said. She looked at me shocked, I knew how she and Karen met. “Yeah, Karen doesn’t always keep secrets really well.”

“Oh, I didn’t think you knew. But if you knew that, surely you think am promiscuous, yet you didn’t come into my room last night. What does that disgust you? The thought that I’d have a ménage à trois?” I could hear a lot of shaking in her voice. And her body language screamed she was embarrassed at her action the night she met Karen.

“No. Though, I find it hard to square that night with who I think you are. Over the past two months, you just haven’t struck me as someone who’d do a threesome.” I stated openly wishing I could turn and look at her instead of watching the road.

“I don’t know,” she had a confused look on her face. It was like she was trying to square the round peg to fit in the hole. “It’s a long story.” She replied sheepishly.

“It’s a long drive,” I stated back.

“Ok, Then let’s get this completely out in the open.” She huffed and closed her eyes for a moment. I think it was gathering the courage to talk about it as well as recalling memories she would rather forget. When the moment was gone, she began, “I was out not at a bar but ‘The Camelot Showbar’ I don’t know if you know it. It’s a strip club. I went there with the full intention of getting picked up. I was determined to have sex with whatever guy picked me up and stay the night. That was really the main purpose, having a place to spend the night.”

“What?” this was something I hadn’t heard or expected.

Jackie again took a deep breath and slowly exhaled through pursed lips. Rubbing her temples she began again. “Maybe I need to go back some and start from the beginning. I think you know my home life was pretty bad. My siblings didn’t like me and my mom barely tolerated me. I started working as a waitress as soon as I was old enough to do so. But I could only work part-time because of school and Mom demanded I give her my paychecks to pay for my food and housing. Which she said still didn’t make up for what she spent on me.

“Shortly before I graduated I turned eighteen and started dating, Todd. I am not going to give you his last name because I think you might go find him and bury him somewhere on your property in Texas. If anything Karen and Tom say about you is true.”

I nodded and said, “They probably are.”

“Well,” She continued, “I had started dating Todd two weeks before I graduated. And once I graduated I started working full-time. When I did I told Mom I didn’t think it was right for her to get my whole paycheck and leave me with nothing. Not even an allowance. We got into a big fight and she threw me out telling me to go live with my boyfriend. Who she never liked because she said he was too weird to amount to anything and way too old for me. He was twenty-nine.”

I would have made a comment about him being too old but he met the required equation. And being much older and taking her off to D.C. I didn’t have a leg to stand on.

So I just listened as she went on. “He took me in and Mom was right he was weird but he could be sweet at times. And I guess you also need to know is I’ve never been with a man. I mean I’ve never had intercourse with a man, but I have with multiple women. When I was in high school I used to sleep with women. They couldn’t get me pregnant but at the same time could make me feel desirable. At home no one ever made me feel truly loved and desired. Plus the women could make me orgasm in ways I never could do myself. So while I didn’t have what people call sex, well you know what I mean.” My initial suspicions that she and Karen fooled around were getting stronger but they were still just suspicions. So I said nothing and let Jackie continue, “I felt kind of obligated to give Todd head every now and then. And he appreciated it and being kind of weird hadn’t had many girlfriends and definitely not one like me.”

“So no hot women in Todd’s background?” I asked.

“I’m not hot. I pass as moderately cute,” Jackie answered without a bit of false humility. She clearly didn’t know how truly gorgeous she was. And she went on with her explanation when I didn’t say anything not wanting to get too far afield. “ Anyway, don’t get me wrong I didn’t mind blowing him. And, I think because he was getting at least that, any time he tried to pressure me into having actual sex, it placated him. And sometimes it was fun but for the most part, it felt dirty ... God, I can’t believe I’m telling you this.”

“It’s ok. You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I said.

“No, I want to. I think it is good you know why I value you so much as a friend. And why your willingness to have me come along as you call it, as your babysitter, is so important. Few single men have ever just wanted to be my friend. Honestly, if Tom wasn’t so hooked on Karen I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t be friends. I mean he would probably try to date me or at least bang me, but not really be a friend. Anyway, that night I was at the club because Todd after three months wasn’t placated by my blowing him. That day he and I were both off work by three. And evidently, he told some of his co-workers he hadn’t had sex with me. They ragged on him and said I was using him and he was too stupid to notice.

“So when he got back to the apartment he told me he wanted to have intercourse. Actually, what he said was he wanted to screw me. Real romantic for my first time. When I told him no I didn’t want to, he called me a frigid stuck-up bitch. And I only dated him so I wouldn’t be alone. He also said that even then, I was scared of sex and that is why I refused him, and he wasn’t taking no anymore. He basically tried raping me but I managed to get away.

“After I got away he told me to be out of his apartment by the time he got back. He was going to go find a woman who actually wasn’t afraid to have sex and liked doing it. I was devastated. But I was also angry at myself because I thought he was kind of right. I was, and may still be, afraid of sex with a man. And thinking back on it I don’t think I really loved him. So I guess I was using him.

“Anyhow, Todd left and I had to go down to the corner to use the pay phone. I called around to find a couch to crash on. Back then, I didn’t have any spare money to buy even a cheap burner mobile phone. I tried my brother and sisters first. But they didn’t pick up. I guessed it was because it was an unknown number to them. But later I found out they wouldn’t have let me crash with them, anyway. I did get a hold of Mom. She said I couldn’t come back. And she couldn’t believe I couldn’t even do the one thing that would have kept a roof over my head. Plus, she was amazed I had lasted as long as I had. But Todd being weird explained it.

“So to prove to him, my mom, and myself I wasn’t a frigid bitch, I went to the one place I knew I could get screwed. And it would give me a place to sleep for the night. Then, in the morning I wouldn’t have to see the guy ever again after getting up. I didn’t want a relationship where the guy could break my heart. So I went to the strip club to whore myself out and to fuck ... Excuse my language.”

“Not a problem,” I interjected.

She continued, “So Will comes around while I’m sitting there watching the women strip and dance around the pole getting money tossed at them. He really was smooth by the way, I can see how he talked Karen into going out with him. He asked me if I worked there. I mistakenly told him no and that I had used the last of my cash to get there. That is when he pounced figuring I was an easy mark, which I was. He said he didn’t think I worked there I radiated too much class and beauty to be a stripper. He poured it on good, while he kept ordering me drinks, which I stupidly drank. When he finally suggested I come home with him and have sex with him and his girlfriend in my drunken mind I thought I hit the jackpot. A place to stay and have sex with another woman. So it wouldn’t be a big deal to have sex with a guy. The other woman there could guide me on what was expected of me with her man.

“Boy was I wrong. It started with an argument between Will and Karen, which I tried to say out of. It’s only when Karen threw a very sharp kitchen knife at Will did he get out of the apartment leaving me behind. To say the least, Karen wasn’t very nice to me that night. She called me every name in the book and then some. You know your daughter has a really good vocabulary and isn’t afraid to use it?”

“Yes, she can make most people even sociopaths cry.”

“So you do know. But even pissed she let me sleep on the couch since I didn’t have a car or any money to get home, not that had a home to go to. Or that I could’ve called a cab in the state I was in. In the morning, she was still pissed though more so at Will than me. We talked and gradually she understood and took me in. And we’ve been friends ever since.” I think to lighten the story she added, “And I keep her away from sharp objects. Which Tom thanks me for on a regular basis.”

“I’m sure he does. So no boyfriends since?” I asked and it sounded like prying.

“No, I’m not ready to give my heart to someone. Karen thinks I just need to meet the right guy who will love me for me. At which point I’ll be ready to have a boyfriend I can share my most intimate thoughts, and feelings and eventually body with.” she stated.