Chapter 12

“If you are going to stick something up my ass, my phone might be interesting,” Mom joked as she stood up to answer it. She had a mischievous grin as she winked at me.

“Just let it go to voice mail. Anything Doug has to say is going to be bullcrap,” Hope suggested before I could.

“He’ll just keep calling over and over if I don’t,” Misty held up one finger. “WHAT?” she demanded angrily.

We couldn’t hear him on the other end of the sign, but from my mother’s facial expression, she wasn’t buying any of his bullshit.

“You are just calling to see if I am okay? How do you think I would be? My kids found me naked with dildos in every hole, Doug.”

My mother’s tone made even his name sound like an insult.

“How do you think they reacted?” Mom asked sarcastically before adding, “They got out a mop handle and batted me around like a pinata to see if candy would fall out of my asshole. What do you care? You left me hanging with no explanation.”

She paused slightly to let him talk. It was hard for us to suppress a few giggles about my mother’s colorful exaggeration. I could picture Doug on the other end trying to make up some sorry excuse for why he left so he could come back and do it all again or worse.

“No, I don’t care to hear your reasons, Doug.”

I was glad that my mother wasn’t going to fall for his bullshit again.

“No, you can’t come back and get your stuff. You left it inside my vagina, so finders keeper, losers weepers. Yeah! I don’t care how much they cost. Rot in hell, Doug.”

My mom slammed the phone down even though it was a smartphone, and she didn’t have to do it. She transitioned right back to our discussion as if Doug never existed and the phone call hadn’t even happened.

“Okay, I had an idea while I was on the phone with that gnat,” she smiled excitedly. “What about this? On weekends, I’ll be your house pet. I’ll agree to ask permission to wear clothes and go nude. On weekdays though, IF I go nude, then it’s the same rules as the weekend, and I can get dressed whenever I want.”

“What about rule one on weekdays?” I asked if we could still smack her ass when she wore clothes.

“Rule one is always in effect at home, but let’s talk about my face, okay?” Mom seemed eager to negotiate, and that was strangely arousing to me. “You guys are always pinching my nose, pulling my tongue out of my head, pulling my ears, and I don’t mind that, but I did ask that you leave my face alone.”

“You don’t mind?” Trent yanked my mother’s nose, squeezed down, and stuck the tips of his fingers in her nose to illustrate that it was more than just a little annoying, and she probably SHOULD mind.

“It’s not my favorite thing, but I understand why you guys do it, and I’d rather you save pulling my hair for when I am edging close to orgasm. I think we should rewrite our rules starting with the first one and address the face slaps.”

My mom looked somberly at us. “I am sorry, but the face slapping can’t be all the time, whenever you want. I am okay with it sometimes on the weekends as long as you do it on the sides of my face, but if you give me a black eye or a bloody nose, that’s not going to fly at work.”

My jaw nearly hit the Linoleum. Well, not really, but I was stunned. The only reason my mother gave me not to put that on the table was that she couldn’t hide it out in public. That may not have been her only reason, but we all agreed.

I had written the original rules on the back of an electric bill that had been left on the table. I took out a fresh sheet of lined notebook paper and labeled it “House Rules” to cover all situations going forward, and they would be in effect all the time.

Rule one probably should have been broader, like “Do whatever we tell you.” It’s like in the Constitution. Everyone remembers the first couple of amendments, but if someone asks you what is in the 11th amendment, you’d probably have to look it up.

My mom liked the same general structure as before. I didn’t know why we needed to number them. I felt like we could probably create “categories,” but we had all begun referring to rule one and rule five specifically, so we kept that naming scheme for those rules.

I made the mistake of referring to my brothers as “boys” because my mom often calls us “boys,” but I also changed that to “guys.” I asked Hope if she wanted to be included, but she moped around and wanted no part in the rules. I thought she may just want the option to participate, but she didn’t want to, and I wasn’t going to try to talk her into it.

We discussed it together and came up with the following:

The guys can casually tease Misty for any reason at home, no matter what she is wearing. Misty can never refuse to be teased. Teasing can include:

· One or two casual swats or slaps with hands, paddles. Misty does not have to count them out loud. Poking, pinching, tapping, pulling, flicking anywhere on the body except the face, and verbal teasing. On the face, the nose, tongue, and ears are fair game. Hair pulling is fine.

· Playful punches and kicks to the ass or tummy are fine.

· Face slapping is allowed only when Misty is nude and only on the sides of the face, never the center.

· Teasing may never include cutting the skin, punching hard, kicking hard, ripping the hair all the way out (including body hair), or sticking anything in Misty’s pussy or asshole.

· While Misty is nude: Her labia (pussy lips) can be pulled, stretched, and pinched, clit can be tweaked or flicked but not masturbated by the guys. Her asshole can be touched and spit on but not stretched open.

It was kind of cathartic to put all that together. It felt really naughty and yet at the same time, it was almost like we were negotiating who could use the bathroom first in the morning before school. It felt kind of “normal” considering all that had happened recently. The best part was my mom didn’t argue against it. She stood and nodded and sometimes even rolled her eyes because she thought it was kind of silly to define things to this degree.

Misty reminded us that we HAD kicked her while she rolled around on the floor, having an orgasm, and didn’t see a problem with us doing it again. “That was fine because it wasn’t hard. I don’t want you to come running up behind me and kick me hard while my back is turned.”

James pantomimed, running up and kicking between her legs like he was trying to kick a winning field goal. He shouted a triumphant “Cunt Punt!!!” and looked off in the distance like he just launched our naked mother over the goalpost of our high school football field. He was clearly being facetious.

“Okay, that’s funny,” Misty chuckled. We demonstrated a few of the teasing techniques to get a sense of where she was comfortable with us touching her while we discussed it.

I wanted to point out that she hadn’t explicitly forbidden us to kick her hard when we were facing her – just behind her back. However, I decided that maybe she had meant that and just neglected to mention it.

My mother accidentally picked up the banana from the counter and took a bite. I don’t think she realized at first that it had been up her butt. I had left it half-peeled on the counter. Hope was the first to laugh. My mom giggled, turned a little red, and laughed.

We all laughed at the accidental mistake, and my mom seemed keen to laugh along with us.

“Waste not, want not,” Mom took another bite and, this time, went down on it like a cock and jammed it partially down her throat.

“We can still feed you like that?” Trent asked.

“You have been for a week now,” My mother licked the sides of the banana. We decided we needed to update the second rule, which had to do with mealtimes.

“We should also probably talk about cleaning my toys with my mouth after I use them. There wasn’t much poopy on the dildo I took out of my ass last night, but there could have been. I don’t mind eating this banana. My butt is clean, and it didn’t go way up there. I’d have been willing to shove it up my own ass for you. I just don’t want you guys fucking me with things.”

I didn’t try to ask my mom to explain why she drew the line as she had. It was a gray area, and I respected it.

“These are general rules, so I guess you can eat whatever you want and sit at the breakfast table unless you are naked?” I changed the subject. My boner was throbbing, and I crossed my legs.

We discussed it and modified the second rule. Trent had a lot of suggestions and ideas that ultimately were included. We laughed a lot, and my mom even assumed the positions while we talked about the nude meal options. We split the rule into clothed or unclothed.

2. If Clothes are on during meals at home, Misty may sit and feed herself normally. The guys can offer to hand feed her, but she doesn’t have to eat it. If she is alone, even on weekends, she can sit and eat as she pleases.

If clothes are off during meals, Misty may not sit. She is to either stand with her palms flat on the table, her hands tied up, or hold her ass cheeks apart in the guy’s direction. If there is time at the meal, Misty must go round robin around the table, offer her body for a spanking, and count 10 swats before moving to the next person. The guys are OBLIGATED to give ten good swats and take no longer than 5 minutes each time it is their turn.

James is the one who put the time constraints on the rule. Trent had a tendency to make my mother languish and wait while he took his time playing with her on his turn.

“You guys are like fucking Congress, this is taking forever. Is this really how you are going to spend your Sunday?” Hope complained as we finalized our changes to the second rule.

“You can go do whatever you want,” Misty reminded Hope that since she had no interest in what we were doing she was free to leave.

“Can I take the car?”

“Nope,” Misty snickered.

“They get to literally play with your ass, and I can’t even drive the car when you aren’t using it?”

“You are 15 and have your learner’s permit,” Misty reminded her harshly. I had a license for six months since my 16th birthday. Mom didn’t even let me drive very often and only when she was in the car.

“Some House Pet you are, if you are still going to micromanage everything. I should ask Michael since he is the ‘man of the house’ now,” she complained.

“The answer is still no,” I grinned wickedly and leaned back in my chair like a bad-ass. I almost fell (like a bad-ass). Hope laughed her butt off.

“We’ll talk about changing some of the rules around curfews and borrowing the car but we are on the basics right now, Hope”

“Are you really willing to change those kinds of rules just to do this game?”

“I don’t know, but you guys are getting older and some of my rules could use some updating. I have never had any formal rules for how I raised you. If I am going to be a house pet, though, I can’t just pick up and go to Target without checking with the guys first.”

“So, we are never going to do things together on the weekends?”

“You NEVER wanted to hang out with me before, especially not at Target,” Mom reminded her.

“Yeah, just because I complained about it doesn’t mean I didn’t want to do it,” Hope chuckled sweetly. I thought that was a perfect summation of Hope’s personality.

“You have two big tits. Why don’t you call some guy who wants to touch them, and convince him that he may have the chance if he takes you someplace nice, and then disappoint him at the end when you get what you want?” I suggested. I meant it as a joke, but it came out kind of mean-spirited.

Hope stuck her tongue out at me and harphed like she was going to vomit in a sarcastic way. She continued at the table as we talked about rule three and four. We had sort of folded those into rules one and two because they were about how we could hang spoons from my mother’s tits and short meals. It made the case for having categories for rules instead of numbers.

My mother wasn’t willing to change the numbering of rule five. She had memorized the number, and it referred to how we would do things out in public. “Make up a third and fourth rule and stick it in there,” she suggested.

“These are just general rules, so when you aren’t in house pet mode, then I don’t know if we need to cover anything besides that we can still tease you and that you eat normally.”

“House pet mode makes me sound like a robot with an on-and-off switch,” Mom groaned with disappointment. “If I take my clothes off, I am suddenly a house pet, and if I put a pair of stone wash jeans and a Polo on, I am Martha fucking Stewart the home maker,” she lamented.

I asked how she thought it should work, and my mom said it was fine for now. “Obviously, if I am naked in my bedroom or shower, that doesn’t count? You guys can’t just come in while I am sleeping and tie me up, right?”

So, rule three morphed into this:

3. Misty can be nude in her room or bathroom and not be treated like a house pet. She MUST leave her door open at all times because she is NOT permitted to play with herself without permission. Her Toys will remain privileges and never be stored in her room.

My mom was very reluctant to agree to this one. She understood our reasoning. I wanted her to be constantly denied and horny. She also understood the need for a lack of privacy, or she would give in to temptation.

“So, you guys can walk in when Misty is taking a crap?” Hope scrunched her nose in disgust.

“We walk in all the time on each other when we are in the bathroom,” Misty reminded her daughter.

“That’s different! That’s to get to your blow dryer because mine sucks ass,” Hope said.

“I still continue pooping while you do it. This is the least of my worries about this rule,” my mother admitted. She asked what it meant for her sex life. “Let’s get the cards on the table. I can’t play with myself, but am I basically a nun with a dildo hobby now and I can’t have fuck buddies or date?”

This was a necessary conversation that we definitely needed to have, but I was concerned that I’d be too harsh. I wanted to give our new arrangement a little time and revisit it.

“If you want a fuck buddy, you have to ask us permission, let us interview him, and be honest with him about what you do on weekends if you invite him over here then. There is no ditching us to take care of your own needs if you are only going to be a house pet on weekends.”

I said what I said and immediately closed my eyes. I felt like I was being unfair to my mother, but I told her what I wanted.

“I was not abandoning you guys. I just wanted to explore this. I wanted you to be happy for me, but you ended up resenting me for it,” mom replied.

“I don’t resent you; I just knew Doug was trouble,” I countered. I didn’t want to seem petty, but my mom was right. I was kind of angry with her for her choices.

“You were right about that,” Mom shrugged. “I would imagine I’d scare off any guy if I showed him these rules before we banged. So basically, now that I am a pet, I am not going to get any dick unless it’s made out of rubber?”

Wow. I knew my mom had a healthy sexual appetite, but when she put it like that – she sounded as horny as a guy.

“Unless you really want us to decide who you can fuck. If you decide you aren’t going to participate over the weekend because you are out getting stroked by some creepy weirdo, are we supposed to just sit on our hands?”

“Are you guys REALLY going to want to do this every weekend?”

“YES!” we all answered emphatically.

“Rain or shine?” she snickered and added, “A pretty young thing at school wants to let you get a little nookie, and you’d want to be here with me?”

My mother made an interesting point, and it was impossible to say whether six months from now we’d be in that exact situation.

“Starting as soon as you get off work on Friday, you are to consider yourself a house pet, and not stop until after breakfast on Monday. If we all have Friday Monday off, you belong to us ALL day long!” I laid it out for her. “If one of us has to go to a game, or handle something, or even go on a date, there will be two of us here. Unless you can get Hope to fill in for you, are YOU willing to do this with us every weekend?”

“Fat fucking chance,” Hope guffawed at the very notion that she’d take my mother’s place as our pet. I liked getting a reaction out of my sister, even though I knew she wouldn’t go for that suggestion.

“We’ll see how you feel in a few months, but yes, I think it will be fun. I am willing to try it at least, and we can talk about it as real life comes up, right?” Mom seemed willing to try out the rules. I think she was skeptical that we’d want to keep doing this every day.