Chapter 16

A week later, Cy sat in his office with Pudge on his lap. He tried to concentrate on some new information that had come to light in Catherine Branson’s murder, but his mind kept drifting to his wife. They weren’t talking, and he left right away for work every morning, not eating breakfast with his family because he didn’t want to fight in front of Daphne and Johnny.

It cut him to the quick that Leigh hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him about not being able to have children. She should have told him before they’d married. He hadn’t mentioned it to anyone, but he’d begun hoping it wouldn’t be too long until Leigh conceived. Kids had never been a priority for him, but neither had getting married.

That had all changed when he’d met Leigh. Yes, she was the perfect solution to his dilemma, but she was also perfect for him in so many ways. How could he trust her now? What else was she hiding?

Shaking off those thoughts, he pondered the information gleaned from one of the servants by Hector. He’d cozied up to one of the maids, and he’d overheard her talking to one of the other maids about Loren and how she’d seen pictures of Alvin McDermott, one of the town council members, and some woman who wasn’t his wife.

Hector was working on finding the pictures. Was Loren blackmailing McDermott? It was a good possibility. If he was, it was likely that Catherine had interrupted McDermott or someone working for him as they searched for the pictures.

Pudge jumped down off his lap, running out the open office door, and the other two dogs let out friendly woofs. He recognized Rob’s voice as he greeted the dogs, and then he strode into Cy’s office, sitting down on the other chair.

“So, are you gonna tell me what’s eatin’ you?” Rob asked, crossing his bony legs.

Cy just looked at him.

Rob cocked his head a little. “Okay, I’ll talk then. When a man who’s been in a fairly good mood ever since he got married suddenly gets all surly again, it usually means that there’s trouble in paradise. Do you love her?”

Cy grimaced.

“I’ll take that as a yes. I don’t understand what it is with you. Why can’t you just talk like normal people? You have a big enough mouth when you’re ticked off. Are you this quiet with Leigh?”

Cy sighed and looked away.

“Okay, you’re not. You talk to your wife. That’s a good thing. Take it from me, nothing kills a marriage quicker than not talking. Us men don’t think we need to talk, but we do. Women are smarter because they talk more. They know that it’s best to get stuff off our chest. Lynnette has taught me that over the years. God bless that woman. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

Cy passed a hand over his face. “She can’t have kids.”

Rob’s eyebrows rose. “I’m sorry to hear that. Are you sure?”

“She saw a doctor back in Tucker Springs who told her she’s barren.”

“Well, that’s a hard blow,” Rob said.

“She didn’t tell me this until about a week ago. I had no idea.”

Understanding dawned on Rob. “Oh. I see. And now you feel like she lied to you.”

“Yeah, I do. She should have told me in her letter. She just used me to get out of a bad situation,” Cy said.

Rob shifted in his chair a little. “Seems like that’s the pot calling the kettle black.”

“How do you figure that?”

“Well, what if it was your man parts that didn’t work? You needed her to run your ranch. Would you have told her in a letter? Would you have told her before you got married?” Rob asked.

“The facts are the facts, Rob. My man parts work just fine and so do her woman parts. All except that one, I guess.”

“You know for a creative investigator you sure are dumb. Put yourself in her place. Okay, say all of your man parts worked except the one that could create babies. Wouldn’t you be embarrassed? Men are supposed to make their wives pregnant. What if you couldn’t for whatever reason? Would you have told her before you were married? A complete stranger?”

Cy raked a hand through his hair. “That’s a stupid argument. Yes, I would have told her before we got married.”

Rob said, “But you would have still had your ranch if she rejected you and went back home. Leigh had nothing. She couldn’t go back. Maybe she used you in a way, but Leigh’s not malicious, Cy. Besides, anyone can see that she loves you.”

Cy arched an eyebrow. “You knew? Did she tell you?”

Rob ran a hand down his face in frustration. “Good God. Why did I hire such a dumbass?” He looked at Cy. “It’s right there in her eyes. Anytime I see the two of you together, I see it. If that woman was using you, she wouldn’t look at you like there’s no one else in the room. You need to talk to your wife if you don’t want to lose her. So what if she can’t have kids? There are plenty of kids in orphanages who need homes. Now, stop being a moron and patch things up. I’m tired of dealing with your cranky ass.”

Cy watched Rob leave and then threw a pencil at the wall in frustration. Pudge picked it up and brought it back to him, thinking that they were playing fetch. Cy smiled and took it from him.

“Do you think I’m a moron?”

Pudge sneezed emphatically.

Cy scowled at him. “Even my dog is turning on me.”

Leigh sat at the kitchen table, going over some paperwork that evening when Cy got home. Queenie greeted him and the other dogs enthusiastically, but she barely looked at him. She was surprised when he sat down at the table.

“Leigh, I need you to tell me why you kept such a big secret from me,” Cy said.

Leigh met his gaze. “I don’t want to talk about this. I have work to do.”

“Well, I do want to talk about it.”

She nodded slowly. “So, you want to discuss it when it’s convenient for you. I’ve tried a couple of times, but you just brushed me off. Why should I discuss anything with you? You’ll just accuse me of deceiving you again. You’ve been a detective for so long that you’re suspicious about everyone and have a holier-than-thou attitude. I don’t have to take that.”

Cy said, “I deserve that. All of it. I should’ve been more understanding instead of acting like a jerk. I think that you were in a tough situation, and you were afraid that I’d reject you.”

“If you had rejected me, I would’ve found a job and made my own way,” Leigh said. “But I liked you all so much that I didn’t want to have to leave. I didn’t want to lose you, so I didn’t say anything. It was just easier to keep quiet about it and hope for the best.

“You’re right, though. I should’ve told you before we got married. I’m sorry that I didn’t because I’ve always prided myself on being an honest person. But, in a way, I’m not sorry. At least I wasn’t. I fell in love with you, Cy, and I was hoping that you’d come to care for me enough so that when I did tell you, you would try to understand. I guess I was wrong about that, too.”

Cy knew when someone was playing him and trying to prey on his sympathy. Leigh was doing neither. Honesty filled her eyes as she met his gaze. Remorse for his callous treatment of her ran through him.

“Leigh, it’s not the fact that you can’t have children that upsets me. Sure, I’m disappointed, but I know that you are, too.” Cy said. “Leigh, I’ve told you things that I’ve never told anyone. You make it easy to open up to you, something that’s hard for me to do with other people. It hurt that you couldn’t trust me to understand when I trusted in you so much. It wouldn’t have hurt nearly as bad if I didn’t love you, but I do.”

Leigh desperately tried not to cry, but tears blurred her vision. “You love me?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I do. I didn’t expect to find love any more than you did. You make me happier than I’ve ever been in my life. I’m sorry that I hurt you and accused you of using me. I don’t want to lose you. So, I’m asking you to forgive me for being a jackass.”

Leigh’s heart sang with the knowledge that he loved her, but she couldn’t capitulate just yet. “Can you accept the fact that I’m not fertile? Are you going to end up resenting me because I can’t have children?”

Cy moved his chair closer and took one of her hands. “Leigh, I would love to have children with you, but if you can’t get pregnant, it won’t change my feelings for you. I promise. Besides, like Rob said to me today, there’s always adoption if we can’t have kids on our own.”