Chapter 2

The day I have been dreading has arrived. I’ve been in the delivery room for six hours and the doctor has arrived and told me it will not be much longer. I suppose Daniel is in the waiting room. Daniel was with me but left after the doctor arrived. However, the nurse told me he asked how I was doing.

After I gave birth, no one said a word about my baby being half African American. The nurse examined my baby and there were no issues. Then the nurse took some measurements and placed antibiotic or antiseptic eye drops in my baby’s eyes to prevent an eye infection. She then took him for a few minutes to bathe my baby. Daniel was in my room when the nurse returned with my baby.

The nurse told Daniel, “You have a healthy baby girl.”

“What is this? Where is our baby?”

“Sir, I assure you, this is the baby your wife gave birth to,” the nurse stated emphatically.

“Look, my wife would never cheat, we are white and that is a nigger baby. The hospital made a mistake that you need to correct. So, take that nigger baby back to wherever it came from and bring us our baby.”

“No, Honey,” I said, “that is our baby, I can explain.”

“Alyssa, are you telling me that you cheated on me with a black man?” Daniel calls me by my name when he is not happy with me.

“No, Honey, I never cheated but I can explain.”

“Alyssa, if I heard you correctly, you are saying that nigger baby is our baby and you never cheated. Unless you are claiming the second Immaculate Conception, this I’ve gotta hear.”

“Honey, calm down. Sit over here and I will explain. I believe you know that big parking garage at the medical center with an emergency exit next to the elevators. I recall this black man walking behind me. I believe he was wearing a suit so I did not pay any attention until he grabbed me with some drug over my mouth. I woke up in the stairwell disoriented and it was not until I got into the car that I realized I was missing my panties and that he may have raped me.

“I went home and took a long shower, washing several times, I felt dirty like I could not get clean. Then I douched and I took several of those Fish Amoxicillin pills that you keep in the refrigerator to prevent getting pregnant. I felt like it was my fault so I did not tell you. I knew it would upset you. I only wanted to forget that it ever happened.”

“Alyssa, it seems farfetched that you would take several 500 mg Amoxicillin tablets instead of the morning-after pill to prevent pregnancy.”

“I read that Amoxicillin pills can prevent conception if taken immediately after sex.” They do not, but I knew Daniel would not know that and I hoped he would not check. If he does, I will tell him that is what I read somewhere.

“Dear, I need to think about this, so take care of your baby and we will talk later.”

I believe it worked. However, that is because Daniel never suspected that I ever cheated and because I rarely tell him any lies. Otherwise, he never would have believed my story.

Daniel went home for the night and returned the next day. “Honey, you just had a baby, and learning that I am not the father must be very stressful to you. I don’t want you to worry or have any more stress. I did tell the hospital that I do not want my name on the birth certificate so they want you to sign this statement that I am not the biological father and that the biological father is unknown. Other than that, we do not need to do anything. We can discuss the baby a few days after you are discharged from the hospital.”

“Okay, Honey, I’m tired, so in a little while, after I read it, I will sign it, and give it to the hospital.”

“You need to sign it now because the hospital needs a witness and this nurse is a notary. She will make a copy for our records.”

From the way, Daniel presented it to me, I did not want to sign it, because I was not certain that Daniel would not divorce me. However, without upsetting Daniel, I did not have any other choice. I felt it was not that important. After all, the nurse heard me tell Daniel that I was a victim of a rape. If Daniel decides to divorce me, the statement may make the divorce go quicker and cost less, but if necessary, the court would order a DNA test.

For the next two weeks, we were just a normal family with a newborn. Daniel held and played with the baby as if she was his baby. Nevertheless, I could not shake a foreboding feeling. Daniel can be hard to read. He holds his emotions in check and logically plans his actions. However, I was right about my foreboding feeling.

The next day, Daniel said, “Alyssa, we need to talk about the baby. You need to give him up for adoption.”

“Honey, I can’t give up my baby. He is innocent. He hasn’t done anything wrong and neither have I.”

“I know that but that is not relevant. Now, before you say another word, hear me out. Raising a child is expensive. It is at least a quarter of million dollars and men prefer to raise their child and not some other man’s child. In addition to that, Naomi is not white. Therefore, unless you and I can agree to tell everyone we know and meet, and keep it a secret, for the next twenty-plus years people are going to see me as a wimp and cuckold.

Furthermore, the father is a rapist and possibly a psychopath, and both conditions, especially the first, are genetic. Regardless, of how normal Naomi appears to be, I am not willing to take the risk that Naomi has defective genes that will show up later in her behavior. I realize that you have an attachment to Naomi. However, for both of our sakes, you need to give her up for adoption. That is what about thirty percent of rape victims do.”

“Honey, there is nothing wrong with Naomi. I promise that she doesn’t have any defective genes, she has outstanding genes. Just take my word for it.”

“You don’t know anything about the rapist, therefore, you cannot know what genes she inherited. Nor, do you know what Naomi’s future behavior may be.”

“Honey, I am not going to give Naomi up for adoption and that is final.”

“Alyssa, that is what I expected you would say. Therefore, I went to an attorney and had two documents prepared. This first document, is a Petition to Disestablish Paternity. The second document, is a Petition for Divorce. However, I will wait a few days before having you served. Before I do, I want you the read the documents and consult with an attorney. Perhaps you will reconsider your decision.”

“Honey, please don’t do this to me. You have to believe me. Naomi doesn’t have defective genes. She has inherited exceptional genes.”

“Alyssa, I know that a son of a rapist is five times more likely than normal to commit similar crimes. Therefore, I am not going to believe your nonsense. You may as well tell me the sun will rise in the West because I will not believe that either. Therefore, take two or three days, consult with an attorney, and then make your decision.”

I do not need to consult an attorney. Maybe if I did, I could file first and that may be some advantage. Maybe that would help me get some alimony, or a better property settlement. However, that will not prevent Daniel from divorcing me. I thought if I was firm, Daniel would back down but he is not going to back down.

It looks like either, I give up Naomi for adoption, or I am going to be a divorced single mom. Moreover, I will not just be a single mom. That would be bad enough. Instead, I will be a single mom with a black baby. White guys that I might want to marry will not say anything but they will see the baby and think, ‘I’m a nigger loving slut’. What should I do? What should I do? There must be a solution. I have to think.

I thought and thought. For three days, I thought and then Daniel served me with divorce papers. “Honey, why are doing this to me, I will do anything, just don’t divorce me.”

“Okay, Alyssa, after you put Naomi up for adoption, I will cancel the divorce petition.”

“Honey, I will do anything but give up Naomi. What is so bad about keeping Naomi? She is half mine. Don’t you love me?”

“Alyssa, you know I love you. However, it is not about loving you. It is about what is best for me. I try to be nice and I’m generous to a point. You can have the equity in the house and the furniture. We will split the bank account and our stocks. I will assume our credit card debts so you don’t need to worry about that. I will even give you alimony for a couple of years and that is as long as we have been married.”

“I don’t want all that, I want to be married to you and for us to raise Naomi.”

“That is not what I want and when push comes to shove, just like everyone else, I’m selfish.”

“Why can’t you accept Naomi and me?”

“I have explained that to you but I will explain it one more time, then if you want further discussions, we can do it through our attorneys. If it were just you and no rapist’s baby, then of course I would want to stay married. You are very pretty. You are smart. You are athletic and you certainly are everything I want sexually. You are not a movie star and you are certainly not Kamila Valieva, but you are a low nine, or a very high eight, and I am no better than a low eight. Therefore, at the time we married, you were a bit out of my league. Therefore, I felt that I lucked out.