Chapter 5

Andrew was sure there were closer and more convenient pools than Chiswick but he could not be bothered trying to find one or get directions to it. He knew how to get to that pool and it was only a five minute walk from the Tube when he got there. To him, when he dived into a pool it was like relaxing into a hot bath at the end of a cold, hard day. There was something to it that just relaxed him. Andrew knew that he had a lot to think about and so set a very modest pace and just let his worries and thoughts float away behind him. He had told his friends about life as a teenage boy in Edinburgh dealing with the parents of his friends. But Andrew was also firm in his resolve to leave the rest alone. He did think that Freya’s mild scolding of the three of them would sink in, but regardless was sure that nothing good could come of his life being more widely known. Although he was spending a final day with Navya and Helena, and it appeared Rupashi, Andrew was having dinner with Jim and Freya and heading back to Cambridge in the morning. Even the prospect of his term time routine restarting made him smile. He had thought a lot the previous evening so this swim was a mental cleanse as much as anything and he glided through the water in peace. 75 minutes later Andrew was back at the flat confirming to Jim and Freya about dinner and then it was straight back out to the Tube.

Kingsbury was an area of London unknown to him. It was the stop beyond Wembley on the Tube north of the stadium and the area was half way between Harrow and Hendon. Leslie and Andrew had been to the Wembley Arena but not beyond. He was 15 minutes early as he came out of the station onto Kingsbury Road and discovered it was a typical British high street. Bookies, take-outs, pubs, charity shops and banks were all in sight. There was more on a South Asian flavour to some of the shops but other than that they could have been anywhere in England. Andrew stood and people watched in front of an empty shop. He was out of the way and watched for Navya and Helena. In fact all three of them came to meet him and he spotted them as they came up the street. Rupashi and Navya were unusually restrained and merely greeted him. Helena pulled Andrew in for a hug.

“Too many eyes. They can’t be seen hugging a stranger. People will talk.”

Andrew laughed out loud and rolled his eyes at both of them. Navya rolled them right back.

“Are you hungry Andrew?”

Rupashi spoke for the first time.

“I am starving, I went for a long swim this morning. Can we go for Indian food?”

Within minutes they were seated in a small restaurant with amazing smells coming from the kitchen. Andrew’s stomach was growling loudly. He waited for them to reference the previous day and made idle chitchat while they waited for the food.

“I told Mum and Dad about yesterday. They were stunned at first, just like I was but now they have gone a little crazy. I only just managed to avoid being dragged off to see everyone we know. In terms of keeping them distracted it has worked. To people like my parents, who have suffered some harassment and abuse in their time in Britain, for their daughter to be shown round the House of Lords is almost unfathomable. It actually depressed me how awe struck they were. It should not be so outrageous for someone like me to have a chance like that. I am not ungrateful but I now feel conflicted.”

Andrew was taken aback at first but as he thought about it, what Rupashi said made perfect sense. It should not be such a big deal, yes it was a big deal but it was not that much of a big deal. The reaction of her parents and Rupashi’s reaction to that reaction was understandable. Again generational experiences were providing a different lens with which to react to an event. Just as Freya was twitchy about sexism Andrew could see that Rupashi was about racism as well. So he nodded in agreement and kept eating.

“Does that seen ungrateful Andrew? You haven’t said much.”

He swallowed and sipped some water to gather his thoughts.

“I don’t think that I can or should comment about it. I am not of Indian descent and until I was in my middle teens had never spoken to anyone who wasn’t white. Tanvi’s father was the first Indian I ever spoke to, and I was 15 I think. I took you to see Lord Barnes one because he asked me but two because you were a law student. I would have taken Helena if she had been a law student. Remember it was Jim that suggested on Thursday night that you should go to see him at Parliament, not me. Neither he nor I can fix all the issues regarding race in this country, the prejudice, attacks, verbal harassment and abuse, particularly the experience of your parent’s generation. But I would like to think it is getting better. So no I don’t think you are being ungrateful I think you are processing what happened through the lens of your life and your family’s life. It just highlights how far there is to go.”

Andrew shrugged, as always. His personal full stop to many of his verbal rambles.

“I always forget that you have already dated an Indian.”

“I know it is semantics but it was something that Tanvi and I talked about a lot. I always called her more Scottish than I was, after all she was a year older. I am as guilty of calling you and Navya Indian as anyone else. But it is only because saying British of Indian descent sounds horribly clunky. You are not Indian. You were born here, schooled here and are attending university here. How does that make you Indian? My family looks like it is descended from Viking invaders of the 9^th and 10^th centuries. Dad has taken the family tree back into the 1400s before he ran out of records to check. But our ancestors lived in Caithness which was Viking or Norwegian controlled into the 12^th or 13^th century. So basically, I am as white as Casper. But no one calls me a Viking. I would laugh at them if they did. Now I don’t know what the answer is but it always makes me stop and think about it. Me, I just date clever, attractive women.”

Navya and Rupashi looked at each other while Helena was smiling at the last comment.

“I need to think about that Andrew. You really are a confounding man. You really are unprejudiced, aren’t you?”

“Oh hell no. I am terribly prejudiced.”

They all looked a bit shocked.

“I am intolerant of a whole lot of people, including lots at university with us. I hate loud mouth braggarts, ‘takers’ who are always on the mooch for something all the while being a fake friend, I have no patience for religion, I get angry at bigots and people who are intolerant of others. Christ, the list of my prejudices is long and extensive. That I am not prejudiced about gender, race or sexuality is true, but just because I am open minded there does not make me perfect, anything but.”

“You are almost proud of those prejudices.”

Navya statement came across as a question.

“Maybe not proud but I am also not really ashamed of them. If someone makes a rude, hurtful or hateful comment to one of my friends then I will react. In fact, if I heard it to a complete stranger, I would react. I would think nothing of defending someone against that kind of attack. The loud mouths, the takers and the religiously obsessed I just walk away from, they are not worth the breath wasted dealing with them. But bigotry I will say something.”

“So I am guessing that you haven’t dated many church goers?”

Helena’s tone took the steam out of his rant.

“No, but truth be told it has never come up. The Christian Union had a couple of major events during Fresher’s week but you couldn’t have dragged me there. If someone wants to go to church then I am not going to stop them but don’t expect me to listen or even be polite if you start to go on at me about attending as well.”

“Andrew McLeod, you are worse than Voltaire.”

Helena sounded oddly proud. He bowed in recognition.

“This is supposed to be a fun day, I am off to Cambridge tomorrow so let’s not talk about my intemperate rants on religion. What would you like to do?”

After lunch they stood on the high street and looked at each other.

“I wish we could bring you home to meet Mum and Dad, but I am sorry Andrew, it is not worth the disruption and hassle next week.”

Rupashi looked downcast, as did her sister.

“You need to have no distractions for the next couple of months. I will see you in Cambridge I am sure.”

All of a sudden it was a hug to Helena and waves of goodbye to Rupashi and Navya and Andrew was standing on the platform waiting for a train back into the city. It had been barely two hours but he would see Helena and Navya in a week. His initial disappointment turned to humour when he realised that he was still having problems with the parents of his friends. The smile faded as Ara’s image flashed through his mind. The circumstances changed as they all got older but the problem of parental control just changed, it never really went away. For all his issues with the Jenners over the years Suzanne lived with Andrew when he was in Edinburgh, notwithstanding her father’s unease.

He mentally doodled on the Tube and nearly missed his stop. When he got back to the flat Jim and Freya were out so he changed into his running gear and went for a longer but slower run round Regent Park. Andrew should have stopped at three but pushed on to try and complete four laps and was blowing hard when he finally finished. He was a hot, sweaty mess when he got back to the flat, several days of exertion evident on his clothes. Freya popped her head out of the kitchen when he got back but her expression let Andrew know even more than his own nose that he needed to shower and the clothes needed washed. 30 minutes later he was clean and his clothes were in the wash and he came through to the drawing room to chat to the pair of them.

“You were back early Andrew?”

A very parental gambit, part statement part question. Andrew sat and chatted to them for quite a while, light topics, serious topics.

“I have been meaning to talk to you about the possible summer job Andrew. I know that you completed the form and it is already submitted but I did wonder if you had any questions. It got swamped with the rest of the discussion that night.”

“That is true. I did complete the form on autopilot. As with too many things, this has fallen into my lap. One of the things I was going to do next term was figure out what to do for the summer. Even if this is not for me, I know I can stick at it for 10 weeks. I have seen the junior staff at Drummonds and I know that it will be getting coffee, photocopying, all the mundane boring stuff. I saw that one of the requirements was to agree to submit to a security check so although it might be mundane work it will be in an interesting environment. To be honest I haven’t given it much thought in the last couple of days.”

“There have been one or two people working over the summer in previous years, mostly on an ad-hoc basis. This is the first year that they have tried to hire so many people. I wish I was able to give you more of an idea what you would be doing but it is not yet finalised. One of the things that will help your application is that you have a background check already.”

Andrew looked at Freya, startled at this admission and at the casual nature of her announcement.

“I have a background check already?”

“Yes, don’t you know?”

“Clearly not. But why do I have one and how the hell did I get one without knowing about it?”

“Background checks are mostly about verifying the individual and his or her details. You are who you say you are, that sort of thing. For someone in your position, at your age it is easy and straightforward. You will not be positively vetted, that is for permanent employees only but they decided to do the security check. It is one of the things that is still being discussed internally, what level of clearance do we need to put summer students through.”

“Okay, that I understand but why do I have a background check already?”

“My assistant mentioned it to me in the afternoon the day she came back from dropping off your application with Personnel. The fact that it was hand delivered from my assistant made Personnel look to see if they had a record of you, and they did. Chloe received word from them that you had passed a background check already. It is probably through all the CCF and OTC forms you have completed over the years.”

That made sense, as there were always an inordinate number of forms to complete, year after year. Andrew shrugged and they moved on. It was clear that the Ministry of Defence had no idea what they were doing with the summer students. He would worry about that in late June, if he was offered a spot. Dinner that night was low key and relaxed. Andrew was getting more and more comfortable with Jim and Freya, feeling less and less like he was ‘on’ the whole time. The respectful conversation and relaxed atmosphere was in stark contrast to dinner with his own family. There had been precious few dinners where there had not been raised voices, or more likely a sullen silence. Andrew needed to let it go, he kept telling himself it was time to move on. Less thinking about doing it and more actual doing it. When they were back in the flat he raised something that had occurred to him that afternoon as he had run.

“How large is this wedding going to be? The reason I ask is what about things like speeches, a stag do, receiving line, all that sort of thing. Is it just 10 to 15 close friends and family or is it a larger scale affair?”

The way that Freya and Jim looked at each other was all the answer he needed.

“I see, it started small and is getting bigger.”

Jim laughed.

“At least let us tell you. What gave it away?”

“The guilty looks.”

They laughed and then Freya carried on.

“Our original thoughts were very much a small low key wedding, possibly even in a registry office. However, we realised that there would be a certain number of colleagues who would expect an invite, and so now we are looking at 70 to 100 people I think.”

Great, now Andrew had to face 100 people at this event.

“Once we have windows of opportunity for the four key guests then we will set the date. Once that is set we will see about many invites we send but also how many can attend. If the wedding is in the next six weeks then we expect the numbers to be lower. Late June is more realistic and then it will be at these kinds of numbers.”

In the morning Andrew sat and had breakfast before the pair of them headed off to church. He was keen to return to Cambridge as well so with many hugs and handshakes he was finally on his way back to College. Until the wedding date was settled Andrew had agreed to give Jim a call as part of his Sunday afternoon phone calls. The week had changed Andrew’s relationship with Jim and Freya, most noticeably by clarifying why they were so supportive of him. However nice it was to spend time with them he was ready for some Andrew time, focusing on university and the course. The week of modelling would not bother him at all, other than an occasional twinge or stiffness in his shoulders or back from holding the pose. Lent Term had been easy for Andrew, he was well prepared and key parts of the syllabus were Maths and Computing. He wanted to make sure that he was similarly prepared for Easter Term. Andrew had seen the increase in nervousness from his classmates as well as at the College generally the previous term and knew that the sense of anxiety would be more pronounced as soon as term started. He only had one bag as usual when he descended from the train and walked back into town from the station. He deliberately went up St. Andrew’s Street to pass Peggy’s Café. When he saw that it was still open there was no hesitation, Andrew was hungry for some of her cooking. She looked up and smiled when he came through the door. Without saying a word she took a bowl over to a large pot at the back of her stove. Andrew smiled when he saw Peggy ladling lentil soup into the bowl and turned and put his bag out of the way before taking the soup from her at the counter.

“Thank you, just what I needed.”

“I know you Andrew. I better make a couple of large sandwiches as well, that will never fill you up on its own.”

20 minutes later Andrew was full and sat back in the chair for a moment. Peggy came over and sat down. The other customers had left and she had flipped the sign. The café was closed and he was the last customer.

“How are you Andrew? Good break?”

“Honestly, it is calmer here. So much to do and so many people to try and catch up on when I am in Edinburgh. I stayed with one of the guys from the College for the first week, well we stayed in Paris but you know what I mean, and last week I was with friends in London. The two and a half weeks in Edinburgh were fun but busy. So I am glad to be here for a quiet week. I can study without distractions and get set for next term. How about you?”

“This is hardly a gownie place so it is pretty steady week in, week out. Not like some of the bars or clubs in town. Lot of council workers, delivery men. Often I have a bunch of young mums here in the morning, long after you are gone. Nice and steady. I am sure there are a couple of students who come in here every now and again but you are the only regular one.”

She shook her head, a mannerism that was frighteningly familiar.

“Easiest money of the week. I make the soup on a Sunday morning and it is ready for the whole week. Do you know that I make twice as much as I used to? During the winter a few of the workers were happy to have some hot soup at lunchtime.”

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Peggy stood up to let her daughter into the café. Andrew remembered her name was Elizabeth and that her mother called her Beth. He took it as his cue to leave. Beth looked pouty.

“You don’t have to leave on my account. I wouldn’t want to break up your cosy little chat.”

It was said with such pseudo archness that Andrew laughed in her face. Her mother looked like she was searching for the carbolic.

“Beth James, what do you mean by that?”

Andrew touched Peggy’s hand.

“Onions remember?”

That took the steam out of Peggy’s temper, made her laugh and her daughter look worried and he grabbed his bag, left some money on the counter and made his escape. As he walked up the street towards the College he thought about Beth’s comment. There was no stick involved but Andrew guessed that the comment was more jealousy than anything else. The following morning Beth tried to flirt but she was worse than Emma at it. His discomfort made some of the regulars laugh and he was pleased to see that Ron was one of them. Beth looked embarrassed and disappeared and Andrew left the money for the term on the counter with a wink at Peggy.

The week of modelling was exactly what Andrew needed. Mostly quiet, routine, a way to feel comfortable about the classwork and exams to come. Being away for four weeks had made the four students all antsy for him to return. But the nervous energy dissipated quickly the first morning, and they were relaxed and funny at the end of the day. Each day you could feel their tension ease further. On the Tuesday afternoon it became clear why as the tutor for the students turned up at the studio. This interrupted the session so Andrew stretched and relaxed but then turned back to his book. 20 minutes later he was introduced to John Wilkins. Andrew shook his hand but did not expect to have to engage in much conversation, he assumed it was a courtesy.