Chapter 6

My final week working at Trammers played havoc with my emotions. Dealing with all the additional customers taking advantage of Trammer’s closing-down sale was exhausting. Then saying farewell to my friends and acquaintances at work was a sad affair. Some of us went out on Friday evening for a drink at a local bar. I couldn’t raise any enthusiasm for the proposed night-clubbing afterwards, so I went back to my flat.

I’m lucky that I’ve got a new job. Most of Trammer’s former employees are still searching for work. Mistress Penelope had confirmed her offer for me to be her assistant, and I’m due to meet her at 2pm on Sunday. Although she hasn’t said so, I presume it will be for a session with the same client as last Sunday. In addition to a ten percent share of the fee for each session I attend, I’ll start receiving a weekly retainer from this week. The retainer will at least cover my rent, power and food bills. With a share of the session fees as well, I could soon be earning a lot more than I did at Trammers. In exchange for the retainer, I’m expected to clean Mistress’s workshop (aka dungeon) four times a week and do some routine errands and chores.

Last Sunday is still etched in my mind. The afternoon session with the client wasn’t very exciting, but afterwards Mistress and I explored our budding relationship in a very intimate way. Our passionate interlude confirmed that Mistress is not simply playing at being a dominatrix. I found myself submitting to her control without any conscious effort on either her or my part. While I can’t claim to have had a lot of relationships in the past that had a sexual component, this is the first time my yearning for my partner to take absolute control of me has been fulfilled.

If you aren’t naturally submissive, it may be hard for you to understand my craving. To my mind I need someone to control my slutty urges. I spend far too much time with my hand between my legs frigging myself. I can’t help it. When I’m alone, my wild imagination simply triggers my sexual desires. I’ve insufficient willpower to deny myself fulfilment of my urges. Last Sunday, Mistress only allowed me to reach a climax a few times. Several times I was forced to quell my arousal or be punished for disobeying her orders. The wicked sensation of being denied fulfilment was almost as enjoyable as being allowed to come.

I’ve a long way to go before I can deny myself an orgasm when Mistress isn’t with me. But Mistress has implied that if our personal relationship is to continue, then she fully intends to train me in that respect. Punishments for repeated failures haven’t been discussed, but so far I’m willing to continue to explore the deep dark depths of total submission.

“Our client will be here at three o’clock,” says Mistress when we meet on Sunday. “We have time to discuss your ongoing duties and decide which client sessions you should attend in the coming week.”