Chapter 3: Introducing AchtungNight

The God of War frowned suddenly, seeing additional words appear on the page before him. “Kratos,” they read, “CB here. Be aware that a fanfic author is writing about you. A rogue boat captain is attempting to sail the ship which you and I, among others, command. You know what this means, right? We’ve talked about this.”

Kratos at once felt angry. He did not like Gods messing with him, rogue fanfic authors in particular. But I wronged a boat captain once long ago, he also remembered. Is this a way to atone? Hmm.

More information flashed across the page. “This author enjoys your more popular stories, so he wants to write one himself. He prefers his video games concentrate on story over action. For his writing, he plays on higher difficulty levels. He wants a challenge from you, the ultimate God of War challenge if necessary. ‘Give Him God of War’ as he writes you if necessary, Kratos. He is fine with that.

“The author is also fine with you knowing his weaknesses. He’s big on weaving in crossovers, satire, and Christian mythology. He likes ‘The Wizard of Oz’ and will be incorporating a pivotal scene from that story into his work. Here are some relevant visions. Also be aware that the author is immune to your weapons but not your divine will as a God of War. Use that will. The author’s name in your language is...”

Kratos smiled, feeling his fear and anger fade. As tactics continued to flash before him, he grew ready for the challenge to come.

“Also be aware that this is not just about your character,” CB continued. “Every character in the story other than you is also important to this author in various ways. He is very cupertic, he gets pleasure from observing other people’s happiness. That includes the characters he creates. This author wants to see them all happy on some level. He respects that, as well as canon for his fanfiction, and I approve. This author is also shipping you and Freya. You know what all that means, right?”

Kratos knew indeed. Was he comfortable being shipped with Freya, he wondered, being put in a loving relationship with Freya by a rogue boat captain of a fanfic author? It did not take Kratos long to decide positively. He had already thought about Freya in private moments a few times. He knew he could never get with her in his main story, however. Their circumstances did not allow it. Unless, perhaps, it was different in this author’s universe?

I hope he respects Freya and me both if that is so, Kratos thought. He could feel CB agreeing with this sentiment. Good, Kratos thought. Perhaps the author felt the same? Good. But know this, author, the God of War added. I will not make it easy for you.

“The author approves of your criteria,” CB communicated. “Be aware he likes to imagine the characters he ships constantly lusting for one another’s company, particularly in sexual situations. He then weaves in various other characters and tropes where he feels it appropriate for the story he is trying to write.

“The most important characters for this author in this story are you and Freya, and he’s already got Freya on his side. Pretty much, anyway. Freya will be wavering a bit, you may need to give her support as you have already. The same is true of other characters on a lesser level. Ultimately, this story is about you and Freya facing the challenge of getting together and making your story better in the author’s personal fanfic universe. If you don’t like the author, you may end the story and thus kill him as you did that boat captain long ago. But this fanfic author wants to keep sailing through your universe, Kratos. Would you like him to keep sailing through it? Take your time deciding. But Be Ready. Are you ready?”

Kratos nodded and put the letter aside. He could feel CB’s approval in his mind.

Challenge! Kratos commanded silently. Come!