Chapter 172

Julie never recovered, though she didn’t flop as hard as last time. Apparently, she’d learned that breaking down and just insulting and threatening the audience was frowned upon.

The host got her off stage, and Sabrina celebrated by kissing you and then turning your face to kiss Gemma as well. No one on stage, or most of the crowd, could see it but the people around you certainly could and the three of you got some Woos!

Things calmed down again, and by the time Tasha got called on stage your basket of fries was empty and the three of you were on the last sips of your beers, the cocktails long emptied.

When Tasha was announced, you and Gemma and Sabrina gave her the same welcoming applause as you had for Mosche, but you were matched by another group off in the darkness across the sitting area. Tasha got on stage, grinning and waving, and went into her set. She was a little looser than Mosche was, maybe a little more improvisational. The last time she’d been the clearly better performer, and maybe she still was, but her set didn’t hit quite as well as his did this time even though both you and her other friends tried to encourage her with laughs.

Then Tasha transitioned into talking about her friends, doing a little crowd work bouncing off of them - it went better for her, and obviously wasn’t rehearsed or else it would have sounded fake. Then she pivoted in your direction.

“Now, two weeks in a row a certain couple - or trio, I guess - have gotten into fights with the comics on this stage, but I like to think we had some good back and forth last time. How are you three doing out there in the darkness?”

“Better than ever,” Gemma called back.

“Good! Now, last time you gave us a little tease, and it’s had me thinking about Big Cocks. And believe me, my set isn’t going to turn into some Amy Schumer act, so stay with me folks. There’s another girl in the mix now so I want some corroborating evidence. Is he really as big as Australia claims?”

“He’s perfectly big,” Sabrina called back with a grin.

“Now that sounds too good to be true,” Tasha said. “I mean, I always thought it was a Glass Slipper kind of situation. Everyone’s vagina is supposed to be different, right? So perfect for one lady isn’t perfect for the rest. But now, here we are, with a ‘perfect cock’ right here in the audience.”

“You want some proof, Tasha?” Gemma called, to some cheers from the now tipsy and drunk crowd.

“Uh, hell yeah I do. But I don’t think that’s legal for a comedy club,” she joked.

Gemma stood up, opening her phone as she wove through the tables until she was next to the stage, and then made to show Tasha a picture but pulled it back quickly. “If I’m right, you need to send him a picture of your tits,” she said.

Tasha made a show of being shocked and fanning herself. But the crowd cheered, and she pretended to think about it before agreeing. “Fine. Tit Pic for Dick Pic, it’s fair.”

Gemma showed her the picture, and Tasha leaned down to take a look and her eyes went wide. “Holy fuck,” she said right into the microphone to a chorus of laughter from the audience. “Damn, girl. Or girls!? You both take that thing?”

“Hell yes we do,” Gemma said, then pulled her phone back and stepped back into the darkness.

“Gad dayum,” Tasha said, fanning herself again. “Well, there you have it, folks. You’ve heard of universal remotes and universally beloved celebrities. Now we know that there’s such thing as a Universal Cock.” Then she bowed towards you with her hands over her head in a worshipping gesture. “All hail the Universal Cock!”