Chapter 5

That Sunday after swimming until he could barely lift his arms Andrew sat in the Library thinking about the next two weeks, the next two months and the remainder of the academic year. There were two more weeks of term left with classes finishing on the Wednesday night. The first weekend was all social with an OTC bash on the Friday night, then the final hockey match of the season before a big dinner and night out for all three teams at the College. The second weekend, after the end of term was the final OTC training session. His thoughts turned to all the letters he had received back over the last two months. There had been a communication of sorts with his parents but the substance to them was flimsy, bordering on non-existent. His father’s bitterness, well Andrew just wasn’t sure it was possible to come back from that. Even if they patched things up, Andrew knew that he would always be guarded with his father and not really trust him. The comments in September and especially at Christmas, were what his father really thought, anything other than that, Andrew would struggle to believe. What that meant for his relationship with his mother, sister and little brother, he didn’t know. It was a mess and not going to get any better. And of course it was his mother that was responding to the letters, not his father. Andrew heard the rest of the family news from his Grandma, she liked to be the conduit both ways and so in addition to weekly calls to her, he also sent a couple of letters a term to her so that she could pass on the news to his aunts and cousin.

Ara had replied to his letter almost immediately and Andrew had sent a further update on his life at Cambridge. He had no idea what he was doing but knew that he was weak and could not help himself. Arabella Lindsay had affected him the very first time Andrew ever saw her at the Commonwealth Pool in Edinburgh all those years ago. Three years later and she was still without compare. He loved Suzanne more but Ara made him want to try and write poetry. And he hated poetry. For the last five years life had been unrelentingly positive but the karmic weight on the other end of the seesaw was Ara. He also knew that he had to maintain a distance even as he wrote letters to her. The Baroness, how very Sound of Music, would never stand for it. Just as Helena’s parents and Rupashi’s parents would not stand for it either. All three of them were happy for their daughter to make a love match, as long as it fit within a narrow, nay pencil thin, band of social and cultural acceptability. Andrew was no longer angry about the situation but it was sad that in 1984 there were still so many barriers. It brought the issue back round to his parents. Andrew had barely had a girlfriend in five years and had no intention of marrying any time soon, even if he could have found someone who would say yes, but their reaction was the least of his worries. Both his parents had their foibles but they were tolerant people and Andrew knew that they would not care who he brought home. The way things were at the moment they should be happy just to meet her. The situation with Ara was resolved yet they both continued to torture themselves, but Andrew could not sever the relationship.

Happily, Manon had responded very enthusiastically when he let her know he would be in Paris. Andrew had talked to Pedro and they would be in Paris around dinner time on the Monday after term ended. Pedro understood about the OTC training and was going to try and keep out of trouble for a couple of nights on his own; enough said. Manon lived somewhere to the west of Paris with her fiancé but she would meet them in the city on the Tuesday morning and show them round the main tourist attractions for a couple of days. At this point he and Pedro had a hilarious conversation regarding money, each of them trying to figure out how the other wanted to travel and what he could afford. It was long and painful but Pedro was the only child of well off parents and so money was not an issue in terms of getting to Paris and, more complicatedly, getting to Ferrol. After their dance around for more than 20 minutes they understood that money was not a problem but that they both kept it quiet at College. The reason for the tortuous chat about money was that getting to Ferrol in the 1980s was an almighty pain in the arse. Pedro normally flew to Madrid and then took the seven hour train journey to the very north west corner of Spain. The two of them were going to take the train to Paris, and that meant it was train, boat, train; but would fly to Madrid and then take the train on the last leg. Looking back, it was a lot of effort for a couple of days in Paris but at the time it was no big deal.

Andrew’s letters from Nikki and Fran, Maggie and Tony, Leslie and Suzanne were all fun and full of news from Scotland. The letters from Nikki and Fran were nearly always short, they joked in the letters that they had quiet, boring lives, but they also had a stability that Andrew found reassuring. His own life could be crazy at times and knowing that he could escape to Glasgow, to a calm loving environment, it was important to him. It was mainly Maggie that wrote, and she wrote regularly, and her letters were full of hints and teases about her escapades. As long as she didn’t get arrested for flashing, it sounded like she and Tony were having a blast. Given that she alluded to being naked throughout central Scotland Andrew was surprised she hadn’t suffered frostbite. Part of his two weeks at Easter was going to be spent fulfilling Maggie’s exhibitionist fantasies. Even just thinking about that made Andrew smile. The letters from Leslie and Suzanne were chatty, the occasional anecdote from their courses, just an ongoing effort to keep in touch. The last couple of weeks in Edinburgh had been disrupted and he hadn’t seen either of them as much as he had wanted.

The letter that was giving Andrew the most pause was the reply from Jim Barnes. Baron Barnes had been ennobled already and moved to London where he was now a Lord of Appeal in Ordinary, more commonly known as a Law Lord. Andrew’s whole relationship with Jim Barnes and Freya Moray was complicated and he found their support of him both flattering and meddlesome at the same time. The letter confirmed that Freya had transferred south with the Civil Service and would be assuming a role within another government department, although it was not yet clear which. He was invited to stay with them in London which was the real reason for Andrew sitting there on a blustery Sunday afternoon thinking about them. Their behaviour to him was unsettling for several reasons. Their seniority in political life was significant and as their party showed they mixed with a group of people with power and influence, people that were miles out with Andrew’s own orbit. But the thing that was troubling him the most was they were acting like surrogate parents, or at least a favoured aunt and uncle. Freya had no children of her own but Jim had his daughter Moira. The way they treated him was bordering on inappropriate, just from the sense of doing so much for someone unrelated to them. Jim had taken a liking to Andrew from that very first meeting in the winter of 1980 and his dinner with Allison had forever tinted Freya’s glasses but Andrew just couldn’t shake the sense of unease. And all that was before he heaped on the baggage of his own family’s treatment at Christmas.

Andrew thought about the five weeks of the Easter break. The first was going to be in France and Spain and he was not going to be back in Edinburgh until the Monday of the second week. The final week was back in Cambridge for a week of intensive modelling for Lynn, Deborah, Flo and Andrea. Two weeks in Edinburgh left four or five days where he could go to London, stay with Jim and Freya, and visit Navya without the strain of staying with the Rais. Was he being ambitious and using his relationship with two connected people for his own gain? At the time Andrew didn’t think that he was but as the years passed he was not so sure. Jim Barnes and Freya Moray had taken a shine to him and although Andrew didn’t fully understand why he also was not prepared to distance himself from them. He could rationalise it all he wanted, but he knew they did enjoy his company.

So Andrew wrote back to them thanking them for the offer and confirming he would be down during the second week in April and would accept their kind offer of a place to stay while he was there. To Andrew they became an aunt and uncle at that point, he stopped questioning it and just accepted them. With all of that dealt with he happily turned to his coursework. Andrew was struggling to find anything to study, which he felt he shouldn’t even think but it was the truth. His studies during term one had allowed him to gain a solid understanding of that material. All of the reading ahead for the term two material meant that the term had been easier than term one, especially given the syllabus included Computer Science and Maths. So here he was with two weeks of term left and contemplating starting on the term three coursework. Andrew still put in 40 hours minimum every week with more than 50 on the weeks without OTC weekend training. His demeanour around Keith, Olivia and Matt was always the same and he didn’t brag about how well he felt. He wanted to power through the last 10 days of the course, survive the coming weekend of drinking and get ready to enjoy the holidays. Navya joined him and Helena at dinner that night, Nigel was off doing something with the Footlights, and the three of them had a fun night chatting between themselves as well as with the students around them.

“I think I am going to be in London during the second week of April, can we meet?”

“Sure, do you know where you are staying?”

“Somewhere near Regent Park and Baker Street I think.”

“Okay, you are on the right side of the city. We live further northwest out by Harrow. The Jubilee line will get you close enough to walk the last little bit.”

“Do you want me to come out to your house? I thought your parents were uncomfortable with my coming over?”

“It is not a bad as that Andrew! They would be very pleased to see you, the two of you are my closest friends here. They don’t want me to marry you but you can come for dinner.”

The last was said with a cheeky smile on her face.

“Of course I am not the Rai sister that you have your eye on, am I?”

Navya took great delight in giving Andrew shit, especially about Rupashi.

“So, has Matt been invited round?”

He had rarely seen Navya blush but she made up for it now. She looked embarrassed but then sad.

“That’s what I get for being a cheeky bitch.”

She sighed heavily.

“No, my parents don’t know anything about Matt. I am giving you and Ru shit and all you have done is kiss.”

Well that answered a lot of unasked questions right there. They changed the subject and moved away from his visit to see Navya and her parents. Andrew promised to call Helena when he got to London and she was going to come up to town as well

“We should think about plans for the summer. Do either of you have any idea what you are doing? Will you be getting a job? Trips away with your parents? I would like you to visit me in Edinburgh at some point, although I have no idea about the summer yet.”

Andrew paused but knew that he needed to let Navya think about whether to come.

“I also need to let you know that I live in my own flat in Edinburgh, I don’t stay with my parents. There are two bedrooms so you would have privacy but I figured you should know well in advance.”

The two of them looked surprised but rather than question how he had a flat the focus was on the impact with Navya.

“Well won’t that get my mother all excited.” She sighed again. “Thanks for letting me know, I will need to figure out what to say or not say to my parents. Can you imagine? Bye Mum, I am off to stay with Andrew in his flat on my own for a week.” She feigned fainting. “Mum, mum, can you hear me?” She then looked over at Helena. “Do you think we could go together? Safety in numbers and all that.”

The possibilities for the visit were discussed back and forth without any details being settled. Andrew was glad he let them know about the flat well in advance, telling Navya after finals would have been unfair. After dinner they skipped the bar and went back to his room to sit and carry on chatting.

“What else are you doing for Easter Andrew?”

“I am going to Spain with Pedro for the first week, a couple of weeks in Edinburgh, a week or so in London and then the final week I am going to be back here.”

“Only two weeks at home?”

This was Helena.

“Well my home is an empty flat now so it is not a big deal. I get antsy sitting around doing nothing, you know what I am like, and so a couple of weeks will allow me time to catch up with everyone. I need to figure out what I am going to do for the summer as I drove myself crazy last year.”

“Why?”

“I really am terrible about relaxing and doing nothing. I know I am a bit of a freak but I love studying, it keeps me calm and I get out of sorts if I don’t have something to do. You heard that I am a qualified hockey coach?”

They nodded.

“The Level 2 course last summer was a way to fill in a week.”

They laughed but there was more truth to that than Andrew cared to admit to himself. Finally the issue of the flat was raised.

“How is it you have your place Andrew?”

Helena was curious. He decided on a summarised version of the truth.

“I had a falling out with my parents in September over their treatment of me, although they were equally forthright about how they thought I treated the family home as a hotel. My father has always had an obvious and marked preference for my sister. You know that I am dismissive of Rowan and call her the Princess, but it is not an exaggeration. Anyway, I actually bought the flat right before I started here so that I could have some freedom.”

They all knew what that meant.

“I moved out 10 days before I came south for term one. Things weren’t any better at Christmas and rather than cause a scene I spent it with friends rather than with the family.”

The girls were surprised at his admission.

“You never said anything when you came back?”

Half question and half accusation.

“It was not something that I needed to talk about. I had a very complicated Christmas holiday and it was a relief to get back here, in fact it was a relief to get on the train to stay with Nigel.”

Andrew nodded over at the picture on his desk.

“Why do you think your father prefers your sister?”

Navya went right to the heart of the matter. Andrew also wasn’t about to share the reason that predated his birth.

“If I knew the answer to that I would tell you but it is like a loose tooth. I worry away at that problem on and off, without getting any definitive answer. The short answer is I was clever, self-sufficient and did not engage with her. We are very different but it was one of the immediate things I changed when I was released from the hospital. Fighting with her was just a waste of time and so I walked away. I hoped that she would calm down but she has not, if anything it has got worse. I would work in my room in the evening and would go through to the kitchen to feed myself leaving my parents to deal with her. I rarely watched TV and never had a clue what was going on, what was a hit show or anything like that. Anyway, I was a loner as a teenager and was easy going and quiet. Rowan took up all the oxygen and it just spiraled from there. She was always Daddy’s little girl and it just got worse and worse.”

“I understand all that but you have your own place. You never came across as having that sort of money.”

Andrew shrugged.

“I worked while I was at school and I got some help. It is an impulse purchase as I am unlikely to live in Edinburgh when I graduate. It is just a small two bedroom place in amongst all the other student flats there.”

They both accepted the bland partial answer as to how he owned his flat, although knowing the pair of them it would not be the last time he heard about it.

“So if you are not staying with me and you are not staying with Helena, where are you staying?”

“I have friends who moved down to London last month, so I am crashing with them.”

Andrew didn’t think you crashed with a Law Lord but it was what he was doing.

“That is why I don’t precisely know where I am staying, I have never been there. I will worry about that later.”

Compared to his flitting about the two of them were staying at home over the break and admitted that the five weeks would drag.

“Do you know what you are doing with Pedro? Is it just hanging out in bars, chasing women, you know all the usual Pedro things?”

The three of them laughed but when Andrew stopped and thought about it, that was probably exactly what they were going to do

“I know you meant that as a joke but we have not talked about the trip at all. I am staying at his house so his mum will be there and his father if he is not at sea so I would guess the hi-jinks will be circumscribed. We’ll have to get it out of our system in Paris.”

Neither he nor Pedro had mentioned the couple of days in Paris so Andrew had to explain about their side trip and then about how he knew Manon and whether he ‘knew’ Manon. By the time he was finished the two of them were looking at him once again with expressions that were hard to read.

“You are the oddest guy Andrew. And I mean that nicely. You collect women, you don’t pick them up in the usual sense of the phrase, but you collect them. Look at the two of us, Matt told me about you convincing them to accept Olivia, there is my sister, that American Judy that Justin is now going out with, plus who knows how many others that we don’t know about. Yet.”

Navya smiled wickedly.

“Two French women chat to you at a bar, you tell them to give you a call in Edinburgh, and when they do you show them a sufficiently good time.”

Her eyebrow wiggling was unnecessary, funny but unnecessary.

“Then when you get in touch, one of them offers to show you round Paris for a couple of days.”

Andrew laughed and shook his head, second only to shrugging in his mannerisms.

“I don’t know what to say to that because the way you describe it is pretty well true. I can only imagine the welcome Pete would get from the other young lady.”

He waggled his eyebrows in return.

“Really?”

“Yes, I took Pete to the station with me when I went to meet them and he and Manon’s friend hit it off. As in left us at the bar and went back to the hotel hit it off. Manon and I actually did a bunch of sightseeing, her friend not so much.”

The evening had been a fun reminisce but they all had class the next morning. When he got back from the bathroom Helena opened her door and beckoned him in.

“Will you sleep with me tonight Andrew? Wrong time of the month for anything but sleeping but it would be nice to have you cuddle me tonight.”

They both loved having someone else in the bed so this was no hardship, Helena’s room was not on the street so it was quieter, not quiet but quieter. Plus she slept soundly so Andrew could leave for his exercise in the morning without worrying about waking her. He thought she might want to chat but she just wanted the cuddling and was soon asleep, although not before wiggling her bum until his dick was comfortably seated between her pantie-covered cheeks and moving his hand to hold her breast. Funnily enough Andrew woke up with a raging hard on! When he got back from his swim and knocked on Helena’s door as usual she peeked round the edge before grabbing him and hauling him into her room.

“I am so fucking horny right now, so be prepared. Wednesday night you are staying over and I expect to be thoroughly ravished.”

With a quick kiss Andrew was thrown back into the corridor. Matt threatened to punch him if he didn’t stop being so cheerful on the walk to the department. Spring in the air, a spring in his step, okay you get the idea. That night Andrew talked to the duty sister about his holiday plans. The following Monday would be the last volunteer session until the week before the Easter term started.

“It has been more difficult this term, hasn’t it?”

“It is not more or less difficult, rather it has been a lesson in humility. I have sat and talked to as many people as term one but the connection that I achieved in term one has not happened this term. I have to remind myself that I am here to help the patients if at all possible and what I feel or get out of it is secondary. Some of the patients are happy to see me and to talk to me and I just need to remember that when I am feeling frustrated.”

“You do help and make a difference but everyone reacts to their situation differently. I do hope that you will continue in the spring term.”

“I will be back, Monday the 16^th of April will be my first day.”

The following evening at OTC Andrew was sure they spent more time worrying about the dinner on the Friday night than anything else. This was the second formal event of the year and rather than rent a dinner jacket he decided to splash out and buy one. He had stopped growing so it seemed safe and there were at least four to six events every year where he would have the chance to wear it so he figured he might as well just bite the bullet now. Wednesday evening was a repeat of the previous night with the final hockey training session more concerned with the dinner on the Saturday night after the last matches of the season. Andrew’s only goal for Friday night was not to have to find an emergency dry cleaner on Saturday morning.