Chapter 330

“I’m sorry,” Ami said, still sitting in my lap. She whispered it to me, resting her cheek against my shoulder and with a hand on my chest lightly tapping against me.

“For what?” I asked quietly. The others were still talking, purposefully not paying attention to us. We had a little corner of privacy despite being surrounded by people.

“For not being able to make the jump like the others,” she whispered. “I know you said it doesn’t matter, but it does a little. And I want you to know I’m sorry that I can’t even if I want to.”

“I understand,” I said, squeezing her gently with my arms around her. “Thank you.” Part of me wanted to argue with her, to tell her it wasn’t a problem, but ... it was. Not a big one, obviously, but it did make a difference. It did hold us just a little further apart. Just like us not having sex, when everyone else had jumped in. It didn’t change how I felt about Ami, and sometimes it even made me respect her all the more for standing by her decisions and values. Arguing with her also wouldn’t have changed how she felt about it, and it would have been more for me to not feel guilty that she was feeling that way than it would be for her.

Instead, I sighed contentedly and turned to kiss her on the forehead. “I’m still falling for you, Ami. Every day. Every hour. Every word between us, and every look, and every touch. God, I loved sleeping with you in my arms last night. I will love you from across the country, and I’ll count the days until we can see each other in person again.”

“I’ll miss you so much,” she said softly. “I’ll miss your smell, and the way you hold me. I’ll miss that look you get when you’re trying not to stare at me just to prove you don’t think of me as just my tits. And I’ll miss the little things you say because you know I’m in my head. But most of all I’ll miss just knowing that your heart is near me, Robbie. Whenever you’re around, you make me feel so warm and loved.”

“Now I’m sorry,” I said. “That I can’t package that up and send it with you.”

She tilted her face up, looking me in the eye, and then sat up higher so she could kiss me.

“I love you,” she said, and then broke into a little smile. “It’s still surreal, coming here single, feeling sad over wanting a guy like you and thinking I’d never find one, and then ending up sharing you with a bunch of other women who feel the same way.”

I kissed her again. It wasn’t our goodbye kiss, but I understood that this was our goodbye moment. When we were in the parking lot, and everyone was packing up, we wouldn’t get this sort of time. We wouldn’t have the patience to think about what we were saying. It would just be goodbye.

Finally, she pulled away and sat up tall, taking a deep breath and then smiling a little wider. She shifted forward and kissed the tip of my nose, a little twinkle in her eye, and then stood up. “Switch,” she said.

All the girls broke off their conversation and got up, changing seats. It was abrupt and sudden and how the hell did they plan it? But just as quickly as it started it ended and I had Wanda in my lap, straddling me legs with her knees on the deck chair as she pressed her torso to mine and kissed me sweetly before wrapping her arms around my shoulders and hugging me. I hugged her back in a bear hug.