My granddaughter, Hannah, thought I would find love on a cruise from Seattle to Sitka Alaska. She meant well, but all the single men on the trip were either too old or too young for me. Also, they were all on the make in the most unattractive ways. I politely fended off a few lewd offers before we left the dock in Seattle. By the time we passed Point No Point, I switched to rude dismissals. They got the message soon enough and I was able to enjoy the beautiful scenery and endless meals without being bothered by hopeful Lotharios. Don’t feel too sorry for those guys. They took my put offs in stride and quickly moved on to less discriminating women who, if the gossip is to be believed, were dropping their granny panties all over the ship.

The first day of the voyage was beautiful, but boring. I saw dozens of waterfalls, watched purse seiners lift nets heavy with salmon, imagined sailing on all sorts of lovely yachts, and worried about icebergs that the captain deftly avoided. By the second day, I’d had enough scenery to last a lifetime. The pod of orcas outside of Sitka and the bald eagles flying over were interesting for a few minutes, but after the initial thrill, I wanted something more.

By the time we arrived in Sitka, I’d seen and done everything the ship had to offer. I couldn’t wait to escape the ship. When the captain announced that boats were available to take us ashore, I rushed to the exit. I was hungry for anything different and, hopefully, exciting. The boat left us at one end of the main street though Sitka. The cute little street was crammed with tourist trap shops and bars full of fishermen even though it was 10 in the morning. I walked up and down the main street peeking in the shop windows. After window shopping the whole street I popped into a shop full of native Inuit artwork. The tall man who owned the shop had some great stories about the artists and history of each piece on display. He talked me into buying a carving of Sedna, the goddess of the sea. The owner wrapped it securely in tissue paper and settled the bundle in a bag with the logo of the store on it. I took the bag by its cord handle and continued my explorations.

I had covered many of the side streets when I found a dark coffee shop across from a grassy park. The sign out front said that the shop was called, “Pour Decisions”. I enjoy a good pun, so I went in. It was a bit late for morning coffee, so the place was empty except for me and a couple at a table in the corner. There were four round tables scattered around the front of the shop. I picked out one with sitelines out the front window and towards the couple in the corner - a perfect perch for people watching. There was a deck of Tarot cards in a little basket on the table. I put my bag next to the basket and went to the counter to make my order. I stopped on the way to see if the black cat sleeping on the window sill was friendly. She let me stroke her head once, but put up a paw to push me away before I got too familiar.

The counter was decorated with stars and wands and other symbols that looked like something out of a wiccan spell book. There was even a cauldron simmering on a hot plate behind the counter. I examined the options on a blackboard above the counter until a woman with long gray curly hair seemed to appear from nowhere to take my order. Her hair framed a face that was all points and angles. She wore a dark blue robe with red runes printed on the left side. My granddaughter, Hannah, had a card game that featured the same ancient symbols. I sounded out the ones I recognized and guessed at the ones I didn’t know. It was a name - Wendy.

“What would you like,” Wendy asked. I got my usual - a 20 ounce caramel latte with three pumps of raspberry syrup. She seemed to approve and went right to work at the espresso machine. She pulled levers and stirred and steamed and all the other mysteries of baristas everywhere. When the drink was nearly done, she closed her eyes and whispered something I could not hear while she held her hand over the mug. When she presented the drink, I was delighted to see that she had drawn my own image in the foam on top.

“How delightful!” I declared. “How did you do that?”

Wendy smiled mysteriously “Go ahead and sit down, hun. I’ll bring it over,” she said instead of answering my question.

I followed the instructions and plopped down at my table by the window. The old woman put my coffee down. She moved half a step back and twirled all the way around. When she was facing me again, she had a plate in her hand with a yummy looking scone on it.

“It’s free for first time customers,” she said before I could ask where the scone came from. She placed the plate next to my coffee and drifted back behind the counter and out of sight. When I say, “Drifted”, I mean that in a literal sense. I could not detect any scissoring of her legs when she moved. I dismissed the impossibility as the dark blue robe she wore hiding how she really moved.

I picked up the mug and carefully took a sip. That single sip was enough to decide that I had found my new favorite coffee shop. The coffee was rich and slightly bitter. The caramel was as sweet as a summer day and the raspberry syrup added a deep fruity flavor that perfectly balanced the complex coffee flavor. I was enchanted. I sipped again. The second sip was just as good. There was plenty of time before I needed to get back to the cruise ship and I would be happy to spend it all here with this perfect coffee.

I picked up the tarot deck from the basket for something to do while I enjoyed my drink. Years ago, before I got married, I visited a tarot reader on a whim. My life was about to change from a safe life in my parents’ house to the unknown of married life. When I saw the sign outside the reader’s office, I thought that knowing a bit about the future might make the transition easier. I didn’t believe in such things until the events the reader predicted came true. I went back from time to time when I had questions or was just curious about how the cards worked. The reader was happy to tell me all about the mysteries. Before long I was doing readings for myself and for friends at parties. The deck felt comfortable in my hands. I tried to come up with a question while I absentmindedly shuffled, but nothing specific came to mind. I suppose that when you have lived as long as I have, questions about the future just aren’t so important. A man came in and ordered a mocha to go. He looked uncomfortable around the strange decor. He told Wendy he was in a hurry. She frowned at him and filled his order without the attention she paid to mine. I smiled at the man as he left with his coffee, wondering if he would be enchanted like I was when he took a sip. I considered asking the cards about him, but changed my mind when I looked at the couple in the corner.

I recognized the woman. She was one of my fellow passengers. Her name was Alice, a nice normal name. My parents had burdened me with Constance, which gave me a lifelong appreciation for regular names. The man must have been a local. Every man in the ship had introduced himself to me and this guy was not one of them. Good on you Alice for your quick work, getting to know the locals, I thought.

I kept shuffling and started to form my question. What was up with Alice and the local man?

Alice was in her forties by the look of her. Her blond hair was perfectly sculpted into a side parted lob cut. Her light features made her brilliant red lipstick and fingernail polish stand out like ladybugs on a white rose. She was laughing quietly at the story the man told her. He lounged in his seat, telling his story and trying to not get caught looking at the cleavage that Alice displayed in a low cut sweater. He was at least ten years older than her, but he wore it well. His dark har had wisps of gray at the temples and his skin showed just enough age to make him look dignified. He leaned back and I could see that, unlike the men on the cruise, he had kept himself in shape. Once again, I congratulated Alice for finding a hot guy with some experience.

I laid out three cards on the table - The Empress, the Tower and the World. The Empress had a sniff of sex about her that made me wink in Alice’s direction. There was danger implied by the Tower, but combined with the Empress, it could refer to wild passions. The World told me that regular orgasms were part of the answer. I smiled slyly at Alice and collected up the cards. If I had not lost my touch, this was going to get good.

He leaned in and said something inaudible to Alice. She smiled coyly and put her hand on his thigh. I should have looked away to give them some privacy, but things were getting interesting. They were so wrapped up in each other that I had no fear that they would notice me watching every move.

The man sipped his coffee, then broke off a bit of scone that he fed to Alice. She smirked at him, then snatched the bite taking time to let his fingers rest in her mouth for a moment. Wow, who would have thought that sweet little Alice went in for PDA in such a bold way. I was a bit embarrassed and glanced out of the window. The street was empty now and there was some sort of tension in the air that I could not quite describe. With nothing to see outside, my prurient interest overcame my embarrassment and I went back to watching Alice and her companion move step by step towards being lovers.

Alice let her hand slip up his thigh and scooted on her seat to make her skirt bunch up, revealing a shocking amount of her left leg. The man leaned over to take in the view. His attention made Alice smile shyly. I wondered where she had learned the art of seduction and if they were taking any new students. The dance they were performing reminded me that I was not too old to think about desire. I felt a tingling in my breasts and between my legs as I imagined myself in Alice’s position. They leaned in to bring their faces together and pursed their lips.

A loud noise from outside pulled my attention away so that I missed the kiss. I could not see what was causing the noise outside, but whatever it was, it frighted a teenage girl who ran past with a horrified expression on her face.

I had a dilemma - try to find out what was going on outside or get turned on vicariously by watching Alice and the man. She had pulled back and was blushing as red as her lipstick. The man waited for her to recover her white complexion before saying something that made her slide to the edge of his chairs and plant a long wet kiss on him. He accepted her lips on his and put an arm around her shoulders to keep her close. Outside, more people ran past. Something shook the building. Ripples appeared on the surface of the last sipps of my coffee. I remembered reading about the earthquake back in the 60’s. While I worried about the danger, Alice and her man were too caught up in their blooming passion to notice.

Wendy glided past and out the front door with a concerned look on her face. She paused on the sidewalk where I could watch her through the front window. She looked up and down the street until something caught her attention. A shocked look appeared on her face. I pressed my face against the glass to try and see what she was looking at, but I couldn’t make out anything but the top of the Eastern Orthodox church. The woman pulled a cell phone out of her robe and pressed the screen several times without taking her eyes off whatever was happening down the road.

A loud crash shook the building and Wendy ran back in. She stood next to me while we both looked up the street. The roof of the church was gone, leaving a cloud of dust behind. Wendy tugged on my sleeve to pull me away from the window. Just before I turned to follow Wendy, I thought I saw the edge of a huge ugly face appearing in the dust where the church used to be.

“Get behind the counter and stay quiet,” Wendy told me. “Hank! Take your friend back there too!” She held her phone to her ear, impatiently. “Liam! Pick up!” she shouted into her phone. I peeked around the edge of the counter to see what was going on outside. The shaking came in regular thumps and got stronger with each beat. When the pounding was so strong that I thought we would be shaken to bits, I saw a thick leg pass by the window. Whatever was attached to that leg must be huge. The foot and shin were all that fit into the window frame. The skin was dark, oily and covered in thick wiry curls of hair. I turned to see if Alice was seeing what I was seeing.

She was not. She was wrapped in the arms of the man and sucking face like it was the end of the world. The building shook again and I wondered if she might be right that this was the end. Hank’s hands were making the rounds of Alice’s erogenous zones. He stroked her hair, touched her thighs and behind her knees. He interrupted the kissing to nuzzle her throat and nibble at her ears. If we were all going to be smashed by the monster outside, at least Alice would have decent foreplay as her last memory.

“Liam? It’s Wendy. Hey, you should get down here right now.” Wendy listened for a moment, shaking her head. “You can do that later. There is a mountain troll stomping the town into rubble.” Another pause, and then, “Good see you soon!” she said and thumbed the screen to close the call. As the sounds of the giant’s steps receded to the east, she swept out to the street, leaving us to cower behind the counter.

Alice and her man were oblivious to the excitement outside as their passion developed. Hank had a hand on Alice’s breast. She arched her body towards him and moaned as he caressed her through the sweater that was not too thick to show how erect her nipples had become.

Wendy was in the middle of the street shouting something in a language that I had never heard before. My fear that she would attract the attention of the monster grew until it was validated by the increasing thump of enormous footsteps. Wendy dodged between two nearby buildings and hid. She popped her head out from time to time to make sure the troll was headed our way. I turned away from the window to avoid watching whatever fate Wendy was inviting.

Things were really heating up for Alice. She had a hand on the man’s crotch and he had his up under her sweater. Sounds of sloppy kisses mixed with moans of pleasure. Alice was on her back with the man to her right. While she stroked the front of his pants, he slid his hand down from her breast to the hem of her skirt.

Alice gave out a squeal of delight when he reached under her skirt and slid his fingers under the edge of her panties. Her body shook in spasms and she gulped air in sharp gasps. I remembered feeling like that when I was a young girl making out with boys from school. Those were good times.

The couple untangled themselves from each other so that Alice could undo Hank’s trousers. She had a bit of trouble figuring out the clasp on his belt. They laughed at her struggles while he showed her how the latch worked. She finished undoing his belt and quickly unbuttoned his pants and lowered his fly. She carefully lowered his pants and underwear over his rock hard cock.It was quite a sight. Alice squealed with delight. I remembered the first time I saw my husband burst out of his pants that night back in college when we first went all the way. This one was different. Maybe about the same length, but bigger around. It was circumcised and dark colored. A small drop of pre-come peeked out of the tip. Alice examined him closer than I did. She clapped her hands together and tittered like a teenager. The man let her look for a moment before taking her hand and guiding it to his shaft. Alice looked up into his eyes and began long slow strokes. He ran fingers through her hair while enjoying her attention. She shifted up to her knees and quickly slipped him into her mouth.

If I had known that a blow job was as pleasurable as these two made it look, I would have insisted on more oral when I was married. Alice closed her eyes and shuttled her head back and forth while he kept brushing her hair and watched her pleasure him.

Alice sped up her sucking until Hank looked like he was going to melt in pleasure. Then she surprised us both. I don’t know how she did it, but Alice managed to slide almost all of the cock into her mouth. Hank moaned softly as his shaft went down her throat. They stayed motionless for a few seconds until Alice pulled back to come up for air. Hank took advantage of the break to reach down and pull her sweater up over her head. I admired the smooth tan on the parts of her breasts that were not stuffed into a leopard print bra. He slipped one hand into the left cup and used his other hand to guide her head back onto his dick.

I could hear screaming from outside and shifted to see if Wendy was OK. The mountain troll stomped into view across the street. He was in the park across the street, far enough away from that all of his hideous features fit into the window. He was as tall as the three story building that Wendy was hiding behind. His limbs were so out of proportion that they appeared stubby. His head sat directly on his shoulders and included so many folds of skin that it looked like a pile of dirty laundry. He was naked except for a layer of thick, matted hair that glistened with som much grease that it almost dripped off of him. It was clear that the monster was male. He turned around giving me a view of his cock turtled up into the fur around his legs. He stopped and sniffed the air until he tracked down Wendy’s hiding place.

I looked around in vain for some kind of weapon that would have made it make sense to go out and defend Wendy. I found the drip coffee machine and began to work up the courage to take the carafe outside and toss scalding coffee on the beast. Wendy looked braver than anyone I have ever seen as she stepped out in front of the troll. Her arms were spread wide and she sang in her strange language. The troll scratched some vermin out of the fur along his side while he considered how he was going to demolish Wendy. I took hold of the carafe and lifted it from its niche in the machine. I knew that my defense would be as ineffective as Wendy’s song, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did nothing. The troll put his hands together and raised them over his head, poised to bring them crashing down on Wendy’s head. I raced to the door, thinking about how I had lived long enough already.