Chapter 19

The five of us met for breakfast the next morning. We had made appointments during the next two days at the offices of four of New Zealand’s Ministers. We didn’t plan to see the respective Ministers, but we would at least get to sit down with their staff and talk about our plans. So much happened at the meetings we attended during those two days that my recollections are a blur in my memory. The staffs were very cooperative, but they were not in a position to promise us anything. It felt like we got the runaround at times, but we actually accomplished a great deal. We had hoped to come away with a series of commitments regarding tax breaks and incentives for locating Ward and our companies in New Zealand, but it didn’t happen because of who we were speaking with. However, we knew word would get to their superiors, which was one of our goals.

Our general impression was that the Ministries wanted our businesses established in New Zealand, but the people we talked with weren’t in a position to promise anything. However, one of the Minister’s assistants suggested that we return once we had incorporated our business in New Zealand. Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing gained. But, we did have a foot in their doors.

Friday morning, we met and reviewed our accomplishments for the week. Sam went over our list of objectives, and we agreed that we had addressed most of the items to the extent that was possible for this trip. We had accomplished our critical tasks, which had to do with immigration and incorporating our new businesses. We divided the few remaining objectives between us, and we thought we should be able to complete everything by the end of the day. We decided to leave a day early, so we contacted Bob, Jill, and Carol so they could prepare the plane for a potential early departure on Saturday.

Frank, Ward, and Sam found a local man who was highly rated as a real estate agent. They explained what we needed to build our car’s assembly line. He said he would get back to us with several properties to look at during our next visit to New Zealand.

Friday night we reviewed our initial objectives and decided there was no reason for us to wait until Sunday morning to leave. We called Paul and Sally to let them know we were leaving early and would be in contact during the coming week.

After a leisurely breakfast Saturday morning, we checked out of the hotel and left for the airport. Our layover for the return trip would be on Fiji, and Fiji was only several hours away. There was no reason for an early departure time, so we took our time in departing the hotel. During the flight to Fiji, we worked on our trip reports and rested.

The idea of the business owners having to do a trip report seemed odd to me at first, but Frank and I found them to be excellent memory refreshers. When a question about a trip we made several years back arose, we would check our trip report. If we had sufficient detail in the report, we were usually able to reconstruct what happened during the trip and answer the question.

We had visited Fiji on prior business trips. Since our wives were not with us, Frank and I decided to forego playing tourist. The rest of our party spent the remainder of the day on the beach and shopping. Frank and I spent our day revising the schedule that we created on the way to New Zealand for setting up our new corporation.

We also talked about how we should start our efforts on Task 2 of Ward’s Mission. As we talked, we would create task elements to document our ideas. Of course, many of those ideas would not be used, and would be deleted from the schedule.

What made it difficult to create our approach was, we wanted to accomplish the task without making it obvious that we were working with Ward. By dinnertime, Frank and I had a basic approach for getting the legislation passed in New Zealand. What we weren’t sure of was, how to get other countries to pass similar legislation. Frank and I had a couple of ideas, but we wanted to consult with Ward and the Guidance Council for additional ideas, before we wasted our time on a specific approach.

Our entire group had dinner together. The eight of us talked about our day with Frank and me saying very little. Jill, Carol, and Sam seemed to dominate the conversation. Kirk, Bob, and Ward’s main contribution to the conversation was that they were dragged through too many stores to suit them. Frank and I were finally able to get Ward and Sam alone so we could talk about Task 2.

Once we got back home, I called and talked with Paul and Sally about beginning the process of incorporating our new corporations and investigating the process of applying for New Zealand citizenship. We accepted the idea of them remaining a separate legal firm that would support us; at least, we agreed to try it. Cathy had told Ward that they would perform better as independent business owners than as employees. Two days later, I got a phone call from Paul.

“Jim, I looked into the matters that you asked me to confirm. Incorporating a company in New Zealand is a relatively easy task. In fact, you can do it on-line from the US. I recommend that you wait until you have moved here or return for another visit to do that so we can help you through the process.

“According to New Zealand law, you will need to reside in New Zealand for five years before you can apply for citizenship. The first step is to apply for an entry visa. All three of you could qualify under the Entrepreneurs Work Visa category. I am not sure of Ward’s financial status and plans, but alternatively, if the three of you are each willing to invest ten million New Zealand dollars, then the Investor Plus category would be the best choice for the three of you. Under both of these visa categories, your domestic partners and children will be eligible to accompany you. Once you have lived in New Zealand for several years, you will be eligible to apply for a Residence Visa. Your current Chocolateen Corporation employees can also apply for an Employee of a Relocating Business Visa.”

“Thanks, Paul, I will get with Ward and brief him on this information. Have you been in contact with the realtor that is helping us look for property?”

“Yes, I talked with him yesterday. He said there is nothing close to Auckland that meets your needs, but there are several large lots near Hamilton and Cambridge that may be of interest to you.”

“Have the realtor send me the specifics of the lots, Paul. I want to have the realtor confirm the land is zoned for industrial use. Kirk and I also discussed with you the expansions that we expect to happen over the next twenty years, so have the realtor verify that the land is suitable for those uses. You also need to have him check with the local building department to ensure that we will be able to obtain building permits for the necessary construction.”

“All right, Jim. Sally and I will see that everything is taken care of. Is there anything else that you need us to do?”

“Yes, there is one other item. Frank and I will want to build a new home close to our new headquarters. The home will be very large, so we will need a lot that has electricity, water, and sewage service available. We have a private security force to ensure our families safety, and a portion of our security force will live on the property. We will need to construct twelve houses for their families on the property. Our current property is slightly less than four acres and we don’t have homes on it for our security force. I would like to buy a lot that is around thirty to fifty acres, or larger, that is located in a rural setting.

“Check with the realtor to see if there are any suitable lots within twenty miles of the Headquarters’ lot.”

The following week...

“Hello, Jim. This is Sally. Yesterday, your realtor notified Paul and me that he had found a very large lot for your business and a second nearby lot that would be ideal for a home.”

“That’s good news, Sally. Where is the property located and what is the asking price?”

“Both properties are just outside Hamilton, which is about seventy-five miles south of Auckland. The business lot is fifty acres at one point six million New Zealand dollars, which is equal to about one point two million US dollars. The lot for the house is thirty five acres and lists at three million New Zealand dollars or about two point five million US dollars.”

“Well that is a bit further from Auckland than we were thinking about, but I guess it is within a reasonable distance, and the asking prices seem very reasonably priced compared to US prices.

“Thanks, Sally. I’ll discuss this with Frank and see what we want to do.”

During dinner that night, I said, “I got a phone call from New Zealand today. Sally informed me that our realtor has found lots for our business and home south of Auckland at very reasonable prices.

“It sounds as if we should take a trip to check out this property. We can also take care of applying for a visa at that time, and do a few other things. What does everyone think of a trip and who wants to go?”

Everyone including our older kids Melisa and Tim wanted to go. Barbara gave her daughter Melisa the look, and Helen gave our son Tim a similar look; Barbara does it better. I could see the kids cringe when they got the look, and it reminded me of the times my mom gave it to me.

Then Frank said, “We can’t all go this time. You kids have to go to school, and some of us will have to stay home and take care of the kids and businesses. How long of a trip are you thinking of, Jim, and when would we leave?”

“The realtor is to send us a package of information on the properties, so we need to go through that first. We should get that package this week. Unless something pops up, I think the trip will be less than a week in country. We should be able to look at the property and see if it is suitable for our needs in less than a day, and then a second day to get the visa paperwork started. If the land is okay, we can check on any local plans that may affect the property and then we can make an offer, which should take no more than a third day. If everything goes smoothly, we may have to attend to a few ancillary matters. That means it is doable to complete everything that has to be done within five business days.”

“Have you mentioned the trip to Ward yet?”

“No, I thought that I should wait until we get the realtor’s package.

“As far as who goes, I would say that Ward, Frank, and I as a minimum. Ward mentioned taking his other two wives on a future trip, while Sam watches their kids. I remember his wives Mary and Karen mentioning that it would be nice to get away from the kids for a while. I was thinking of taking our wives along also, but at least two of them will need to stay with the kids.

“I suppose our wives’ assistants could watch the store for a week or two, so at least four of our wives should be able to go with us. From a business point of view, Michelle, Barbara, Dana, and Sara should go. If we look at it from a different point of view, my wives and maybe Barbara should go. What do you ladies think?”

Barbara said, “The way I see it is, we women have nothing specific to do in New Zealand on this trip. Therefore, I think you men should let we ladies discuss it and decide who should go.”

Frank and I looked at each other, and Frank said, “Okay now that that has been decided all we need to do is put together an agenda for what we want to accomplish on this trip.”

It took us over two weeks to get ready and travel to Auckland. Barbara and Michelle had volunteered to stay home to watch the kids and take care of any corporation business that needed immediate attention. They said that we were only a phone call away, if something happened at the company that required our input. I already knew our wives would be talking on the phone every day to keep everyone informed of events at home and in New Zealand.

The flight to New Zealand was similar to our prior flight except we decided to layover in Fiji on the outbound leg. The only thing of any significant difference was Mary sat down with Kirk and began a conversation with him as to why he had never married. I knew about his difficulties with women from a similar conversation, so I continued to sit and read my book as they talked.

Mary said, “Kirk, I’m curious about your never marrying. Sam, Karen, and I have a number of friends that you may like to meet, if you are interested.”

“Thanks, Mary, but for right now, I think I will pass. With everything going on regarding our move to New Zealand, it just doesn’t seem like a good time to start a new relationship.”

“Oh, then I assume that you have had a number of relationships with women in the past. I am not trying to pry into something that you don’t want to discuss, but I am curious how a decent man like you never married. If I’m out of line, just tell me and I’ll back off.”

“That’s okay. I generally don’t discuss my personal relationships with my casual acquaintances, but explaining the situation to a close friend is fine with me.

“It started when I was a teenager. I was very awkward and shy around girls. From the way they reacted to me when I tried to form a friendship, I got the impression that there was something wrong with me. Looking back on things, I can see that the girls I knew were just as awkward as I was at that time and they hadn’t learned how to relate with young men.

“During my last year or so in high school, I noticed that most of the girls around me were interested in the jocks and if it wasn’t the jocks, it was the guys who had ‘bad guy’ images. They just weren’t interested in the nerd group, which I belonged to back then.

“There was a lot of that type of thing in college also, but the big thing back then was the fraternities and sororities. I thought about a fraternity, but they seemed to be dominated by the jocks and the party crowd. I was focused on my studies, but it might have been fun to be in a fraternity. But as I said, I was in college to get an education and I avoided the extracurricular activities that would have diverted me from my scholastic efforts.

“Anyway, after I graduated from college, I was focused on getting my career started. I got into the dating scene at about that time, and was able to balance my social and work activities. Most of the women I met were into the bar scene and so was I. I had a number of serious, casual relationships, but there was always something missing in the relationships.”

“Kirk, I don’t think I have ever heard of a serious, casual relationship. What do you mean by that?”

“Humm ... as you know most bar scene relationships are one-night stands. The man and woman know that they are going to share a night of sexual pleasure. Sometimes the man and woman find that they enjoy being together and the relationship evolves into a casual sexual friendship where they end up in bed with each other on future occasions. On occasion, the casual relationship turns serious with a discussion of marriage. They aren’t really interested in marriage, so the discussion is often the start of the end of their relationship. I think their discussions are actually an attempt to justify their actions in light of our society’s disapproval of casual sexual relationships. Once they acknowledge that is what their relationship is, it is uncomfortable for them to be together.”

“Then I met Tamara. She and I met through a mutual friend. At first, it was just a casual friendship, but we really liked each other and talked about all sorts of things. Then it changed to us going out on a few casual dates, and we discovered that we really liked each other and enjoyed being together. During the next few weeks, our relationship gradually intensified until we reached the point of acknowledging to ourselves that we were a couple and we wanted to explore the possibility of marriage.

“Our sex drives had kicked in and we would engage in some very heavy sexual activity. But, Tamara’s church was against premarital sex and they disapproved of a couple cohabiting before they married. She believed that the tenants of her church were the proper approach for us. I let her know that I would follow those tenants, but I did not feel that that was the only way for us to develop our relationship.

“I let her know that I was not opposed to pre-marital sex and that I believed that a couple needed to live together before they married to include sex, in order to fully understand what each of them wanted out of their day-to-day relationship. She agreed with me in principle, but her religious beliefs would not let her agree with me that my beliefs were acceptable and moral for the two of us.

“I loved her a lot and it seemed that she felt the same way about me. Our necking sessions were very intense and left both of us frustrated. I did my best to not force Tamara into having intercourse with me, but eventually Tamara decided that she wouldn’t force us to wait any longer.

“We both knew that we still had a lot to learn about each other before we would be ready to actually get married. However, one night we decided that we would have sex with each other the following evening. We made it a special night with dinner at a fancy restaurant and dancing afterward. Late that night she gave me her virginity.

“For the rest of that month, we continued making love and we started staying at each other’s apartment for the night. To me, it seemed as if our relationship was improving. Tamara never mentioned it to me, but she was uncomfortable with the direction that our relationship was headed. She told her minister about the change in our relationship.

“The minister told Tamara that she was living in sin with me and it was immoral for us to engage in intercourse before we married. He convinced her that we had to stop what we were doing and restore our relationship to what it was before we started having sex. She said that according to him, if I was unwilling to do that, then she would know that my only interest in her was sex.”

“That’s not right, Kirk. He had no business interfering in your lives that way.”

“I know, Mary, but Tamara didn’t see it that way. The minister had convinced her that she had fallen off of the righteous path, and she had to do whatever was necessary to return to that path.

“The evening of the day she talked to the Minister, she told me about her discussion with him and what we had to do to make things right. I listened to her, and told her that I disagreed with his opinions, but would not force her to continue having sex with me or to stay over for the night. Later that evening, I went back to my apartment.

“I sat in my apartment drinking a beer and thinking about my feelings. Tamara had hurt me deeply. I believed that she should have talked with me first. If she needed to discuss the matter with her minister, she should have taken me with her. I still don’t have the right words for it, but she violated our relationship and my trust. I decided to accept things as they were and continue our relationship for I loved her very much and didn’t want to lose her.

“The saying about not being able to put the genie back into the bottle is very true. Over the next week, our relationship became very strained. Tamara avoided contact with me for her emotions were in a turmoil and I think she was afraid that she would lose control and end up in bed with me again. At least that is what I believed was going on with her. We had lost the ability to openly discuss things that affected our relationship. I was not happy with the way things were going, but kept trying to get our relationship back to the way it had been before we had sex. I could tell that Tamara wanted that also, but the conflict with her church’s tenants and the way she wanted to relate with me was causing her to push me away.

“One night after a very uncomfortable evening with Tamara, I sat in my apartment thinking about our relationship and where it might go if we were able to get beyond our current difficulties. I knew that I was angry about having to revert back to a no-sex relationship, but I could have lived with that. There was something else bothering me about what happened, and that something suddenly became clear to me. Tamara had allowed a third person to dictate how she and I should live our lives.

“Once I came to that realization, I knew that our relationship would never be the same again. That made me very sad and I just sat in my apartment silently crying for what we had lost. The question then was, did I want to continue to pursue a relationship with Tamara? It would not be the same, but it might be a very good life and we did love each other. I had almost convinced myself to talk with Tamara and to try and re-establishing a relationship with her, when another thought crossed my mind.