Chapter 3

Ann and I agreed not to tell her parents until after we saw the Mayor on Tuesday. The mayor’s wife took their youngest daughter to a movie after dinner so we could talk privately.

He showed us a press release about our upcoming weddings: “Fellow citizens of our great community, I am proud to announce the engagements and upcoming marriages of my two eldest daughters Lisa and Kelly! The Svensen family have been upstanding members of our community over 100 years! I’m very happy my daughter Kelly will be marrying into such a distinguished, good, and reliable group of people!

I’m also very happy to announce that my other daughter Lisa will be marrying a real hero! Jake travelled to South America, braving primitive conditions and hostile natives to help build a road to practically unexplored regions, so that medical teams can assist the local people with their lives in the jungle and the harsh conditions they face.

Please join me in congratulating them on the celebration of their upcoming nuptials, 2 weeks from now!” -

He asked, “So, what do you think?”

Ann said, “You didn’t mention my name, or even that I’m a girl!”

Lisa opined, “Most of it’s not true! That’s a bunch of lies! You left out the important stuff!”

I said, “I spent most of my time there in an office building in Rio. The only ‘primitive conditions’ were the day the air conditioner conked out for a few hours, and when I got stuck in traffic because of a parade. The only ‘hostile native’ I faced, was the bartender that kicked me out the one time I drank too much. The road I worked on mainly helps tourists get from the airport to their hotels faster.”

I hugged the three of them as I said, “Trust me, girls. It’s a bunch of bullshit, but it’ll work. I think we can live with it.”

The mayor said, “Good, it was in the paper this morning.”

Ann yelled, “NO! I didn’t tell my parents yet!”

The mayor continued, “Here are the forms you need. Be at the courthouse at 10am on Kelly’s birthday, and the Judge will marry you.”

He turned to his daughters, “You have an hour to pack up and leave, before the girls I can trust get back.”

He told me, “If you move at least 2 states away, I’ll mail you five grand as a wedding present. Just get them out of here and keep them from embarrassing me!”

We packed Lisa and Kelly’s things into the back of my truck and headed to Alanna’s house to tell her parents. On the way, I got a message on my cell. When we got to my driveway I parked to listen to it. I got a job offer, fifty percent more than my regular rate for two short projects. They needed to know tomorrow, and I would have to travel again.

I called and asked for the details. There was a small harbor project in Puerto Rico, which should take two or three months, then a small bridge and road job near Anchorage, Alaska, which should only be three months.

Puerto Rico in July and August wouldn’t be comfortable at all, summer in the tropics again? I didn’t feel like melting. After that, Alaska in the winter would be worse than miserable. The excavation work would take forever, trying to move dirt frozen as hard as limestone.

I told him, “I don’t really want to do those, is there something else I can start in two or three months?”

He asked, “How about you do the Alaska project first, in the summer? We can probably get everything in place by the end of next month. The harbor expansion isn’t that urgent.”

I asked the girls if they wanted to go to Alaska for the summer and the Caribbean for the winter. It was unanimous, we were going, Hell or high water! Now I just had to figure out how to tell Ann’s parents.

As I started the truck, I saw Ann’s mother Beth waving from the front porch of my little house. I drove the hundred yards to my usual parking spot, dreading the conversation we were about to have.

As we got out of the truck, Beth said; “Let’s go sit on the patio in back and talk there.”

Beth surprised me by taking a pack of cigarettes out of her purse. “Lars still smokes four or five a day, but I quit ten years ago. After what I heard this morning, I need one.” She surprised me again, by handing one to Alanna.

Beth lit her cigarette and started, “First, let me make sure what I heard is the truth. Stop me if any of this is wrong. Ann got these two girls pregnant? And they want to marry the two of you? Instead of Jake marrying Ann, he’s going to marry a 17-year-old? And my little girl is going to marry one who’s only 16?”

The four of us nodded, as we blushed in shame.

“Jake, if it was anybody else, I would worry about you hurting the girls, because they’re not full grown yet, but I know you’re gentle.”