Chapter 18: Post-Partum

Four weeks after the surgery, the new family of four was back home in the bungalow, and Lara’s incision was healing nicely. She was able to get up and move around easily.

Psychologically, though, Lara was still struggling. Nothing had prepared her for what happened after she went into labor. Most everything she found on the internet seemed to minimize the pain, particularly those who advocated for “natural” and unmedicated birth practices.

Lara felt like a failure. The very idea of an unmedicated labor caused her to shudder in horror. Back in the hospital, after she revived she had been told the outlines of what had happened. So when she awoke after the surgery, she understood how her beautiful baby girl was there with her to cuddle, and to nurse. They kept her an “extra” day after the surgery to help her recover from her ordeal during labor.

At home, feeding her tiny little girl was the best part of every day. Fortunately, Lara’s breasts were both cooperative and productive, and her nipples were tough enough to handle the job.

Davis suggested ‘Lucia’ (his father’s mother’s name), which Lara agreed to.

Lucy Catania was thriving and happy, enjoying the extra attention from both birth mom and second mom. Of course, it would be months before little Lucy would sleep through the night and begin eating solid foods.

Lara expressed her milk into bottles kept in the refrigerator. Over many weeks, formula was slowly blended in until Lucy was completely weaned from Lara’s breast milk.

Beginning ten weeks after Lucy’s arrival, Lara was back using the hot tub. The baby snoozed in the stroller, parked nearby, as the adults soaked. They talked about Lucy’s progress, her diet, and her possible first words, her physical development. So far, she was developing normally and thriving.

They also talked about work, as they always had. Davis and Lara were set up to work remotely, and Celia expanded her role at Centralia’s HR Department. Celia was able to cover routine issues that ordinarily required Lara’s in-person handling. And Lara was able to add some of Celia’s work tasks to her on-line duties. It was all working out to have the baby well cared for. Centralia’s Human Resources department continued working efficiently.

Except

While the jets swirled around them in the spa, inevitably the conversation drifted into sexual topics. Usually, Lara would stay silent, eyes closed, while Celia and Davis talked. But after several minutes, or, if they started being physical with each other, then Lara would politely excuse herself and leave the area, pushing Lucy and the stroller back inside the house.

Since returning from the hospital, Lara had been sleeping in the second bedroom, with Lucy’s crib nearby. She was still hugging and kissing her partners, but she showed no interest in being sexual. In fact, if she saw Davis was getting visibly excited, she would actually flee the room.

With just the two of them in bed together, Celia and Davis would discuss Lara, with increasing concern.

“It seems Lara has completely shut off that part of her life, since the baby.”

“Celie, isn’t that common for new mothers? You see men on the internet whining about being rejected for weeks and months after their babies are born.”

“I think this goes beyond that. She didn’t have the physical damage from a vaginal birth, like tears or cuts around the opening. Her surgical scar is completely healed. I’d be very surprised if she still had any pain or tenderness in the area.

“Davis, I think something else is going on. I’ll never forget hearing ‘let me die’ during her labor. She needs counseling, or therapy. I think you have to be the one to make her agree to it.”

“I don’t know, Celie. She shows every sign of being afraid of me now, particularly if there’s any hint of sex involved.”

“I know, I see that too. This is going to be difficult, but I think you’re going to have to start wearing clothes when you’re with her. And, when she asks, tell her why. That you are avoiding making her uncomfortable, not that you are rejecting her.

“It might be a step towards getting her to talk, maybe consider seeing someone. I think we need to try something. OK?”