Chapter 13: Touching Bases

Pocatello, Idaho

December 7, 1996

It was a beautiful day for flying, with bright sunny skies and only scattered high-level clouds all the way to their destination. The air temperature was still rather cold—it was 31 degrees at Pocatello Airport, 34 degrees at South Valley Regional just outside Salt Lake City—but this was not a concern for an aircraft that routinely flew at high altitude where the temperature was 40 to 60 below zero.

“You’re sure this thing is safe,” asked Joey, Laura’s oldest brother, from the copilot’s seat next to Jake (Jake had locked out his controls). He was gripping the side of the seat and looked extremely nervous.

“I hardly ever crash this thing,” Jake assured him as he rolled along the taxiway toward the head of runway 17.

“Hardly ever?” Joey asked, alarmed.

Jake chuckled. “Just a joke,” he said. “Statistically, you’re about fifty times safer in here with me than you would be driving in a car to SLC.”

“If you say so,” Joey said. The only time he had flown in an aircraft prior to today had been a fishing trip he and Sarah had taken to Alaska five years before, going from Salt Lake City to Seattle to Anchorage and then back again. Those aircraft had been considerably larger than this one. And they had been flown by professional pilots, not a rock musician who perhaps had more money than sense.

“I do,” Jake said. “Now remember. The cockpit is supposed to be sterile right now. No unnecessary conversation until we get up above ten thousand feet.”

“Right,” Joey said. He turned and looked over his shoulder. “You hear that back there?”

Grace and Chastity were sitting in the seats just behind the cockpit. Brian was sitting in one of the rear-facing seats behind them. None of them had ever flown on any sort of aircraft before and all had varying degrees of nervousness on their own faces, but all had enough of a sense of adventure that they had not turned down Jake’s invitation to take them out on a little day trip.

Jake stopped at the hold-line and went through his takeoff checklist to make sure the aircraft was properly configured. As was his habit, he read off the items aloud. Altimeter was calibrated. Flaps were set for takeoff. Bleed air was set to automatic. Aileron trim and rudder trim were both set for takeoff. Altitude was dialed in at fifteen thousand feet, their cruising altitude for most of the thirty-minute flight. The tower controller told Jake he was clear for takeoff whenever he wanted to go. He thanked the controller and then throttled up, getting the aircraft moving. He turned onto the runway and aligned with the center line.

“All right,” he told his passengers. “Here we go.”

He throttled up to ninety percent. The engine noise increased and the plane began to pick up speed, rolling down the runway.

“V1,” Jake called out when they reached ninety-three knots. And then, “Rotate,” when they reached ninety-six knots a second later.

He pulled back on the yoke and the nose came up. The Avanti broke contact with the ground and began to climb into the sky. Joey was looking out the cockpit window in terrified wonder as the ground dropped away.

“Positive rate of climb,” Jake said. “Gear up.” He reached over and flipped up the lever.

When they got more than a thousand feet above the ground, he retracted the flaps and let the plane nose down a bit and start to pick up speed.

“This is sooooo friggin’ cool!” he heard Chastity exclaim from behind him. She was staring out the window in awe.

“I’m not really sure I like this,” Brian said, his voice cracking a little. “It feels like we’re falling.”

“We’re not falling,” Jake assured him. “I just reduced the rate of climb. That makes if feel like you’re falling. The sensation will pass.”

Grace, meanwhile, was snapping pictures out her window with a small instant camera she had bought just for the occasion. “I’m going to paint this view,” she declared. She sounded like she was having a blast back there. “I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

Grace, like everyone else in Joey’s family, had warmed up considerably to Jake and Laura over the past two days. She was still extremely shy, but she was no longer catatonic in his presence. The two of them had actually had an extended conversation the night before about the visual arts and music and how the two differed from and related to each other. She was a very intelligent girl, he had found, with surprising insight into the subject.

Since the runway he had taken off from faced generally south, and since Salt Lake City was just a few degrees east of due south from Pocatello, only a slight turn was needed to get the aircraft on course. He brought them up to fifteen thousand and then let the autopilot take over. He could have actually had it do that shortly after takeoff had he wanted, but it always made first time flyers feel better to see him actually controlling the plane himself during the climb-out instead of just sitting back with his hands in his lap.

“All right,” Jake said as the auto-throttle reduced their engine thrust to sixty-one percent. “We’re at fifteen thousand feet now and traveling at three hundred and fifteen knots true airspeed. That’s about three hundred and sixty miles per hour over the ground.”

Joey, who looked a little more relaxed now (though still quite nervous), nodded his head in approval. “That’s pretty damn fast,” he said.

“That’s the beauty of flying,” Jake said. “It gets you there fast and you get to see some cool shit along the way.”

“The view is incredible from up here,” Joey had to admit. “I can see the whole river down there. And the canyons! I never realized how big and how deep they were.”

“I can see the interstate down there!” Grace proclaimed. “Look how tiny it looks! You can barely see the cars on it!”

“There’s a mountain down there that looks like a big boob!” Chastity added. “It even has a nipple on it!”

“Chase!” warned Joey.

“Sorry,” she said.

“I’m gonna say that it’s nice just to have people to talk to up here,” Jake said. “Laura’s usually asleep by this point in a flight.”

“If you don’t mind my asking,” Joey said. “What’s a plane like this cost?”

Jake eyed his brother-in-law for a moment, trying to read his expression. So far, neither he nor his wife had made even so much as a hint about wanting or needing money. They had spent all day and evening together yesterday, much of it spent at an outdoor rifle and gun range where Jake had been introduced to the joys of shooting firearms (and he had had a blast doing it, he was not ashamed to admit) and nary a mention of finances was made. Was that about to change? He decided to simply tell the truth. “The sale price was four point seven-five million dollars.”

“Four point seven-five million?” Joey asked incredulously. “No shit?”

“No shit,” Jake confirmed, “although the bank still owns most of it. I put down twenty percent and financed the rest.”

“Holy shit,” he said, shaking his head in wonder. “I guess there’s good money in being a musician.”

“Not for most,” Jake said, “but I’m one of the exceptions. I paid a lot of dues along the way, but I managed to turn my natural talent into a pretty decent life.”

“I guess you did,” Joey said. He then said no more about Jake’s money. At least not until Jake himself brought it up.

“Listen, Joey,” Jake said. “I noticed that your house, you know, needs some repairs. The roof primarily, but I also noticed your plumbing has some issues as well.”

“That’s true,” Joey said. “I’m hopin’ to be able to start working on the roof come next summer. I got some money in savings put aside just for that project and I have some buddies at work that will come over and help me get her done.”

“I see,” Jake said. “Well ... I was just wondering if maybe ... you know ... I could help you out a little bit with that project.”

“Help me out?” Joey said, looking at him strangely. “You want to fly out to Pocatello in the middle of summer and help us pull shingles down and put up new ones?”

“Uh ... no, that’s not what I meant,” Jake said, shuddering a little at the very thought. “I was thinking more along the lines of maybe ... uh ... paying for a contractor to do the job for you.”

Joey did not even pause to think it over. He simply shook his head. “I appreciate the offer, Jake, really I do, but I don’t borrow money from family. Don’t lend it to ‘em either.”

“I wasn’t thinking about a loan, Joey,” Jake said. “I was thinking we could just pay for the job for you. We can afford it.”

Joey nodded a few times. “I’m sure you can,” he said, “but I have to say no. I won’t take no charity. Just not in my nature. I’ve been putting money aside for that and I’ll get her done on my own.”

“Okay,” Jake said. “Just remember, the offer is on the table and I would be glad to do it for you.”

“I understand,” Joey said. “And I appreciate you making it.” He gave Jake a shrewd look. “You know, I was really prepared not to like you.”

“Yeah?”

Joey nodded. “I’ve read all those things you been up to over the years. The cocaine, the other drugs, puttin’ your hands on women you date, cheatin’ on women you date, the Satanism. A big part of my reason for getting in touch with Little Bit was that I wanted to make sure she was okay. After all, until my mom broke contact with me, every time I talked to her on the phone she would rant about how my little sis was trapped in a marriage with you and you were keeping her from staying in touch with family and you were probably beating her every day.”

“But now that you’ve met me? Now that you’ve talked to Laura?”

“I think you’re all right,” Joey said. “I’m pretty good at reading a man and I don’t get any vibes about you being like what they say you’re like. And I can tell that Little Bit is very happy with you. She loves you and you love her. It’s obvious watchin’ the two of you together.”

“Well thanks,” Jake said, sincerely appreciative of the sentiment.

“You two are a bit highfalutin though,” Joey added, “but I guess that goes along with havin’ more money than you know what to do with.”

“Perhaps,” Jake said. “And, just so you know, I think you’re all right as well.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Jake said. “I’ll be truthful as well. I was not looking forward to coming here to Pocatello and meeting you all. I had no desire to get to know anyone in Laura’s family after the way your mom and dad treated her. I assumed you were all nothing but a bunch of intolerant ... you know ... assholes.”

He shrugged. “I can’t say you’re wrong about mom and dad and the other kids,” he said. “But being on the receiving end of their shaming of me ever since Sarah got pregnant and now being on the receiving end of a full-blown Mormon shunning, I like to think I’m a bit more tolerant of different lifestyles and points of view.”

Jake nodded. “I would say you are,” he said. “And I like to think that about myself as well.”

Joey nodded himself, perhaps a little reluctantly, but a nod nonetheless.

“Anyway,” Jake went on, “Laura and I were talking last night, and we would like to return your hospitality.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Maybe over spring break in April, you and the family would like to come visit us at our house.”

“Your house in Los Angeles?” he asked.

“Well ... we do have a house in Los Angeles, but we don’t hang out there much. I was talking about the house in San Luis Obispo. It sits up on a cliff over the ocean. It’s more than big enough for everyone to stay in. I even have a housekeeper who will cook meals and do the laundry and all that.”

“Sounds pretty fancy,” Joey said.

“It sounds amazing!” Chastity said with shrill enthusiasm. “Can we do it, Dad? Say we can do it!”

“I have always wanted to see the ocean,” Grace put in. She touched Jake’s shoulder. “You can actually see it from your house?”

“Oh yeah,” Jake said. “From any of the windows that face west, from the deck out back, and we have a hot tub that sits on another deck right on the edge of the cliff.”

“A hot tub!” Chastity said. “Wow!”

“And Grace, you could set up your easel right there next to the hot tub and paint the ocean scape—although sometimes the wind does kick up a bit.”

“I would really like that,” Grace said.

“Uh, before we start packing our bags,” Joey said, “I’m not sure we’ll be able to afford such a trip. How long would it take to drive from Pocatello to this San Luis whatchamacallit?”

“Uh ... well, fourteen to sixteen hours, I would think,” Jake said, “but there’s no need to do that. We could fly you from Salt Lake to LAX, no problem.”

“Fly us in this plane?” Joey asked.

“Well, not the whole way,” he said. “We’ll get you some airline tickets for the hop to LA and then I can fly everyone from LA to San Luis Obispo from there.”

“We can’t afford airline tickets,” Joey said.

“We’ll get them for you,” Jake said. “It’s nothing to us. Literally. Laura and I have a buttload of frequent flier miles that we never use for anything. They would cover everybody’s tickets, no problem. You just get yourselves to Salt Lake City and we’ll take care of the rest.”

“I don’t know,” Joey said.

“Oh, come on, Dad!” Chastity cried in dramatic anguish. “He said it won’t cost them anything! That’s not charity!”

“We would be happy to do it, Joey,” Jake said. “Sincerely.”

“I don’t know,” he said again. “I really don’t like accepting expensive things from anyone.”

“Did I mention the sand dunes around where we live?” Jake asked.

“The sand dunes?”

“Yeah,” Jake said. “Big ones that stretch for miles along the beach. And there’s places where you can rent ATVs for the day and explore to your heart’s content. I know a guy who rents them to us for pretty much free in exchange for letting him use my face in his advertisements.”

“ATVs, huh?” Joey said.

“That sounds like hella fun!” Chastity said.

“It really does, Dad,” added Brian.

“And you like to fish, right, Joey?” Jake enquired.

“You know I do,” Joey said.

“There’s a guy who runs a charter boat out of the marina in Morro Bay,” Jake said. “He has a Beechcraft Bonanza and flies it out of the same airport I use so we see each other in the pilot’s lounge a lot. He’s made a similar offer to me on a couple of occasions. Free use of the charter for a day of deep-sea fishing if I would let him publish some pictures of me on his boat for advertisements. So far, I haven’t taken him up on it because I haven’t had the time or a big enough group of people to take out. But this might be the perfect opportunity.”

“Deep sea fishing?” Brian said excitedly. “I’ve always wanted to do that!”

“Me too,” Chastity said. “Dad, we have to do this! I will seriously die if we don’t!”

“Well...” Joey said, visibly wavering now, “I did try some deep-sea fishing when we were up in Alaska. It was one of the best fishing trips I’ve ever been on.”

“Say yes, Dad!” Chastity demanded.

“I really would like to see the ocean, Dad,” Grace put in.

“Me too,” Brian put in.

“Well ... I guess the family has spoken,” Joey said. “All right. We’ll take you up on your offer, Jake. Thank you very much.”

“Our pleasure,” Jake said when the cheers died down behind him.

“I can’t wait to tell all my friends I’m going to California to hang out with my uncle Jake Kingsley!” Chastity said. “They are gonna be hella jealous.”

“Please stop saying ‘hella’, Chase,” Joey said. “I really hate that word.”

“Sorry, Dad,” she said.

They flew on for a few more minutes in silence, the members of the Best family pondering their upcoming trip. Jake, who had been goaded into making the offer by his wife, was surprised to find that he was actually looking forward to hosting them as well. And then Chastity made another observation.

“Look at that canyon down there!” she suddenly exclaimed. “It looks just like a hoo-hoo! And the trees around it look like pubic hair!”

“Chase!” Joey yelled, exasperated. “Will you please keep your vulgar imagination to yourself?”

“I’ll try, Dad,” she promised.

There was no restaurant at South Valley Regional Airport, but a short walk outside the grounds brought them to a local chain eatery where they were given a table for five. The food was quite mediocre to Jake, but the Best clan seemed to enjoy it. Joey insisted upon picking up the tab and Jake finally relented and allowed it. Their waitress was a cute blonde woman in her middle twenties. She did not speak much to them as she took their orders and served them, only engaging in what conversation was necessary to accomplish her job. At least, that was the case until it was time to start clearing the dishes away.

“You know that you’re going to burn in hell for all of eternity, right?” she asked, looking directly at Jake.

While Joey, Brian, Chastity, and Grace all stared at the waitress, their mouths agape at such rudeness from a server, Jake simply shrugged. “At least most of my friends will be there,” he said in a flippant manner.

“That goes without saying,” she returned icily. She then walked away, heading for wherever waitresses went when they had an armful of dirty plates.

“I ... I don’t believe she just said that,” Joey said, his face now turning red.

Jake shrugged again. “It happens,” he said. “Particularly in places like Salt Lake City or Cincinnati. You get used to it. Hopefully, she didn’t spit in my food.”

This suggestion angered Joey even more. “I’m going to have a talk with the manager about her behavior,” he said, starting to push his seat back.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jake said. “It’s just part of the life I choose. Chances are the manager would agree with her anyway.”

“I cannot let that go unanswered,” Joey said.

“Then do what I do,” Jake suggested.

“What’s that?”

“Don’t tip her,” he said. “Put a big old zero in the tip spot on the check. Maybe even draw some devil horns on it.”

“Really?” Joey asked.

“Really,” he said. “My policy is that if you accuse me of satanism, or hand my wife a WEAVE card, or tell me that I’m going to hell when you don’t even really know me, then you don’t get a gratuity. Hits them where they live and maybe that discourages them from such behavior in the future.”

“No tip huh?” Joey said. “That’s seems a little extreme.”

“It’s an extreme world,” Jake said.

Joey did as suggested and they left the restaurant for the walk back to the airport.

“Of course,” Jake said, “it goes without saying that you never eat there again.”

“That makes sense,” Joey agreed.

Thirty minutes later, they were back in the air and heading north to Pocatello. Ten minutes after that, they were at sixteen thousand feet and admiring the scenery once again. Everyone, even Brian, was considerably more relaxed on this flight.

“Tell me something, Joey,” Jake said as they approached the Idaho state line.

“What’s that?”

“How’s the Chinese restaurant scene in Pocatello?”

Joey looked at his brother-in-law strangely. “Chinese restaurants? We have quite a few, actually.”

“Are any of them any good?” Jake asked.

Joey shook his head. “No, not really,” he said. “If you want good Chinese food, you have to go to Boise or SLC.”

Jake nodded. “That what I figured.”

“Why do you ask?”

“Nothing,” Jake said with a chuckle. “I was just remembering a conversation I had once.”

“I see,” Joey said slowly.

“Anyway,” Jake said, “speaking of restaurants. I want to take you and the family out for dinner tonight to thank you for hosting us. What’s the best place in Pocatello?”

“That would be nice,” Joey said. Laura had already briefed Jake that this was the proper repayment for hospitality in her family. “Are you talking Chinese though? Because, like I said, there really aren’t any good...”

“No, not Chinese,” Jake said. “Just the best restaurant in town. Don’t worry about the price. We can afford it.”

“Well ... I guess that would be the Sandpiper,” he said. “We would have to dress up a bit for it.”

“Let’s do it then,” Jake said. “As soon as we land, I’ll book a reservation.”

“All right,” Joey said. “Sounds good.”

They landed just after three o’clock in the afternoon and taxied back to hangar row, where a different pair of rampers parked the Avanti back in its rented spot and received a pair of twenty-dollar bills from Jake. Jake then popped into the airport office and used the yellow pages to look up the Sandpiper. He called and was able to secure a reservation for eight plus an infant for 7:00 PM that evening. They then all piled into Joey’s Bronco for the trip back to the house.

Upon arrival, they found the scene inside pretty much as they had left it. Sarah, Julie, and Laura were sitting in the living room, chatting with each other and drinking iced tea while the television played on low volume. Laura was holding baby Everett in her arms, rocking him gently back and forth, occasionally smiling down at him and talking to him. Laura had been spending as much time with the baby in her arms as she could get away with.

Joey got himself, Jake, and Brian cans of Budweiser and they all sat down to join the conversation. They talked about the flight, the rude waitress, the upcoming trip to California (everyone became immediately excited about it) and their dinner reservations for the night.

“The Sandpiper, huh?” said Sarah. “Fancy. We’ve only been there once before, on our anniversary a few years ago.”

“We have to dress up for it?” Julie asked doubtfully.

“I asked about the attire when I made the reservation,” Jake said. “Business casual is fine.”

“Business casual?” asked Brian. “What’s that?”

“It means you don’t wear jeans or shorts,” Joey told him. “Put on a pair of slacks and one of those button-up shirts you have and you’ll be fine.”

“Oh ... I see,” Brian said.

Brian and his family left a few minutes later so they could go home and clean themselves up a bit. At around 6:00 PM, Jake and Laura retreated to Grace and Chastity’s room so they could change into their own business casual outfits. Jake looked longingly at Laura’s unclothed body as she stripped down to her panties. He tried to caress one of her breasts, but she slapped his hand away.

“You know the rules,” she said firmly. “Nothing resembling sex in my nieces’ room. It’s not right.”

He groaned a little in frustration. They had not been intimate with each other since the last night in Schweitzer—damn near a record for when they were actually in each other’s presence—making Pocatello the first place they had ever visited overnight as a couple in which they had not had sex. And that was not going to change on their last night here. She was very firm in her conviction that no hanky-panky (her phrasing for it) would take place in this room or even in this house. Copping a quick feel was not even acceptable.

“All right,” Jake said with a sigh, “but I expect a blowjob as soon as we get to cruising altitude tomorrow.”

She smiled. “Maybe we can do a little better than that,” she suggested.

“Oh yeah?” he asked, immediately interested. “What do you have in mind?”

“Something I’m sure the FAA would frown upon,” she said. “We’ll have to work out the logistics once we’re up there.”

“I’ll be looking forward to the experiment,” he said, leaning in and giving her a kiss. She accepted this affection until he tried slipping his tongue into her mouth. At that point, she pulled away and told him not to be naughty.

“Prude,” he accused.

“In Pocatello, yes I am,” she declared.

Joey drove them to Sandpiper’s in the Bronco. They arrived almost simultaneously with Brian, Julie, and Everett. They were seated immediately even though they were fifteen minutes early. The restaurant was moderately crowded, as it was a Saturday night, and they turned pretty much every head in there when it became known that Jake and Laura Kingsley were in the house. Some of the looks they received were disapproving, some curious, some neutral, but no one approached them and asked for autographs or tried to strike up conversation. Even the staff made no mention of who they were.

This had pretty much been the status quo with the locals since their arrival here. The Pocatello newspaper and the local news broadcasts were all aware that the Kingsleys were in town and were making a big deal about the visit of their hometown daughter and her sleazy husband. The mayor, who a few days before had talked of inviting the Kingsleys on a tour of city hall, was now on record as withdrawing the offer when his office was inundated with a flurry of emails and phone calls from the LDS population expressing disapproval. Local bishops of the LDS church were frequently quoted in their expressions of condemnation of the couple and the lifestyle they enjoyed. Everyday Pocatellons were interviewed and expressed a variety of opinions both in favor of the Kingsleys and against them. Every activity that the family made in public was reported on as well. But throughout all of this, not a single reporter had shown up at the Best home, or had called, or had made any attempt at communication whatsoever. And when the Kingsleys went out on the town, everyone stared and whispered as they were doing now, but no one had come up to ask for an autograph or to simply shoot the shit, no one had told Jake to his face what they thought of him. No one that they did not know even came within ten feet of the couple if they did not have to. It was very strange to be stalked, yet not stalked.

The food at Sandpiper’s was pretty good. Not the best Jake had ever had, but pretty good. He enjoyed a filet mignon with a fully loaded baked potato. Laura and most of the rest of her clan had the prime rib, which was a specialty of the house and something the Bests rarely were able to afford. Jake and Laura shared a $127 bottle of 1993 Merlot from the Napa Valley of California. Joey and Sarah drank Budweiser, but from the bottle instead of the can. They ignored the glasses that had been brought with the beer and drank directly out of the bottles. Grace, Chastity, Julie, and Brian all drank Pepsi in the glass. Little Everett drank from a bottle of apple juice.

The tab turned out to be just over four hundred dollars, to which Jake added an eighty-dollar gratuity. They then piled back into the Bronco and headed back to the house, Brian and family following behind. Once there, the canned Budweiser began to flow once again and they talked some more of the upcoming spring break trip to California and some of the things they might do there. Everyone definitely wanted to ride the ATVs and go deep sea fishing, but the girls also wanted to make a visit to Los Angeles to see Hollywood. And Chastity wanted to know if there was even the remotest possibility that she might get to meet Celia Valdez.

“I’ll have to check with her,” Jake said, “but if she’s available she would probably be open to coming by for dinner one night. She likes our house.”

“She just bought a new house of her own,” Laura said. “It’s in Malibu, right on the ocean. You can literally walk out her back door, down a flight of steps, and you’re on the beach. She’ll be moving into it next week.”

“That’s so cool,” Chastity said. “What’s she like?”

“She’s just an ordinary person like you and me,” Laura said.

“She’s so beautiful,” Chastity said. “Is any of that true about her getting it on with that female pilot?”

“Chase!” Joey and Sarah barked in unison. “You don’t ask people things like that!”

“None of it is true,” Jake assured her, lying through his teeth, of course.

They turned in relatively early that night since they planned to be wheels-up for the flight back to San Luis Obispo by 11:00 AM. Jake, as had been the case every night of this stay, did not sleep all that well thanks to the combination of sexual frustration, a bed that was about a foot too short for him, a mattress that was lumpy and uncomfortable, and the complete absence of any sort of white noise beyond Laura’s gentle breathing.

The next morning Jake dressed in his jeans, a t-shirt, and a pullover sweater. Laura put on a summer dress. And she removed her panties, failing to replace them with a fresh pair.

“Nice,” Jake said with a smile as he watched this maneuver (Laura made sure he saw her doing it). “Is Laura the Prude staying behind in Pocatello?”

“She most certainly is,” Laura said. “And good riddance to her. Laura the Nymph needs to have her lust slaked in a bad way.”

“Thank God,” Jake said, his motor already starting to rev a bit.

Breakfast was served shortly after they emerged from the room. It consisted of scrambled eggs, pancakes, bacon, and hash browns. Brian, Julie and Everett came over to partake in the Sunday morning family breakfast and to say goodbye to Jake and Laura. Sarah and Chase both made comment on the fact that Laura was wearing a summer dress in December.

“It’s like twenty-five degrees out there,” Chasity said. “You’re going to freeze your boobs off.”