In the dozen years Jeff and I have been together we’ve had sex in a lot of places besides our bed. Let’s see: kitchen floor, dining room table, kitchen counter, living room coffee table, any number of chairs, the stairs up and down, the living room rug beneath the Christmas tree, against the bedroom door, and in the bathroom shower, as well as outdoors in cars, on the beach at night, and in the woods during the day. But to my recollection Jeff and I never fucked in a closet.

So one night after supper Jeff tells me that on his Sunday morning run, Bob had told him that the first time he’d had sex was in a broom closet. “Maybe we should try that,” he suggested.

I raised my eyebrows. Jeff loves sex, but he’s always been bashful about sex talk, so I was surprised Jeff and Bob had shared intimate details, and I said something like, “It’s probably not what it’s cracked up to be.”

Jeff looked disappointed, so I said, “Which closest did you have in mind?”

He thought for a minute and then said, “Maybe we should do all of them. For comparison’s sake.”

I had to laugh. I said, “Our closets are so packed—no way could we squeeze in. Maybe we should try one of Bob and Lynn’s. Want me to call my sister to arrange it? We’re supposed to go there for dinner Saturday night.”

Jeff probably thought I was joking. He said, “Their closets are probably as stuffed as ours.”

“Probably,” I agreed, and stuffed closets for some reason got me thinking about guys’ balls, and then tulips, because they should be coming up soon, assuming the deer and squirrels hadn’t eaten all the bulbs.

The next day, talking to Lynn about the dinner and asking what we might bring, I mentioned about her and Bob having closet sex. She laughed and said not likely because her closets were all jammed full. After some further discussion we hatched a plan.

Soon after we arrived at Bob and Lynn’s for the Saturday dinner, Lynn took Jeff’s arm, said she had a surprise for him, and led him to the closet.

Opening the door, she said, “Bob and I even cleaned it out, pretty much, and he put in a new bulb, though it’s only 40 watts. The old one’s been burnt out practically forever.”

Obviously nonplussed, Jeff sputtered, “So we’re just supposed to...?”and he gestured to the almost empty, somewhat dimly lit closet.

“Yeah, after we get naked,” Lynn said, starting to remove her clothes. Shy guy that Jeff is, he turned away to give her a bit of privacy. Then the “we” must have dawned on him. “So we’re all going to...?”

“We are,” Lynn said. “She took his hand and pulled him into the closet, where Bob and I were already going at it. Just like old times!