“So,” my father said, “we would like to invite you two down to the club on Saturday. it’s going to be a very special night.”

“How so?” my brother asked.

“I am going to have my clitoris removed on stage, in front of the audience,” mom replied.

“What?” I said.

“This Saturday night we’re having a party at the club,” dad explained. “Generally every month there is one female member of the club who receives a female circumcision on stage as part of a sex-and-submission show.”

I knew that our parents had joined a sex club after my brother and I moved on to college, but I had no idea this was the sort of thing that they did at the club– I thought it was like gang-bangs and wife-swapping– I didn’t really know how to process this information.

“Mom! You’re having your clitoris cut off?” my brothers said.

“Yes and it’s always quite a show, we got you two good seats– right up front,” dad said. “The clit donor is usually whipped a bit in a frame onstage as a warmup then she climbs on an exam table, her legs are secured, spread apart and strapped down—”

“Big dildos are shoved into her cunt and ass,” mom said as if...

No ... It wasn’t my imagination, she really was looking forward to it!

“Yes, dear,” continued dad, “then the clubs “nurse” takes this little tool with a hook on the end and pierces the head of the donor’s clitoris. Pulling it out from her body so that the “nurse” can take a scalpel and remove the clitoral hood.”

“Some of the women go for the lighter version,” mom said, “where the entire clitoral glans and part of the shaft is clamped off with a hemostat as it exits the body. Then it is all cut off even with the pubis. Then the area is cauterized with a metal tool that was heated red-hot in a brazier. That’s the way it has traditionally done in much of the Middle East.

“That procedure takes care of most of the nerve endings. It makes it really difficult for the woman to orgasm without some deep and prolonged vaginal penetration. That way, she can pull a whole damn train without coming.”

“But,” said dad, “some of the women, and I’m truly proud to say that your mother is one of them, have chosen a more inclusive procedure. One that permanently and unequivocally prevents her from having any future orgasms.”

“Okay, enough is enough, you’re shitting me. This is all a joke,” I said.

“Oh no honey, I’m perfectly serious. In a few days I’m going to be laying up there on stage, strapped to a gynecologist’s exam table with an oversized phallus stuffed into my front hole, and another bigger one stuffed in my rear hole. The club nurse will hook her device into my clitoral head–”

“The nurse is a woman? My brother asked,

“Yes,” said dad, “and she is not only fully circumcised herself. But she performs the operation in the nude after showing her own cut cunt to the audience and explaining what she is about to do.

“Pull the clitoris’ head out really hard and slice its hood off,” mom said.

“I’m going to ask her if she can’t use a nice fairly dull scalpel like she did with Angela,” dad said.

“Oh, thank you dear.”

“Angela?” My brother said, “Not Angela from next door?”

“Oh yes Terry and Angela Merkin from next door are the ones who got us to join the club.” mom said. “She had a complete radical circumcision three or four years ago–”

“Liar,” I thought, she said it was an appendectomy.

“She’s always dripping wet, wanting to get fucked, and even though she gets pounded several times each day, she is never satisfied. She hasn’t come since that day her clit was snipped up on the club’s stage. That’s exactly what I want.”

“And like they say,” said dad, “happy wife, happy life.”

“I can’t believe this,” my brother said.

“So anyway, after the nurse cuts my clit hood off, she’s going to pull my clit head out as hard as she can, and run that scalpel–”

“Dull scalpel,” dad said, “so it takes much longer, and you feel every single nerve cell being cut in half.”

“Oh, yes ... Oh...”

Shit, I think mom just came right in front of me.

“Yes,” said dad, “she is going to go over the top and cut your doomed clitoris’ suspensory ligaments and then cut a deep half-circle underneath your clit so that she can push a metal probe inside you to find the clitoral vein and artery. She’ll tie them off and cauterize them so she can pull your clitoral shaft clear from your body.”

“Then,” said mom, recovering, “she’ll separate my erectile tissue from the nerves and veins in this long skinny piece that supports my clitoral head and remove the big spongy bodies where they attach to my pubic bone.”