Chapter 9

Despite reading all the bloody material the previous day it had not registered that breakfast was not served on a Sunday but rather brunch which didn’t start being served until 11.00. Andrew headed for the corridor, grabbed a quick shower and went back out to find breakfast. Almost beneath his window was a small café and he sat and had a not too unhealthy breakfast. It was basically a greasy spoon but Andrew managed not to clog his arteries too badly. He thought about the plan for the day as he sat finishing his coffee. It was barely 9.00 and the day stretched in front of him. There was a tour round Cambridge at 2.00 but Andrew as thought about that it seemed to be more than a little sad, twenty plus Colleges all with loads of Freshers being shown where Sainsbury’s was. So if that was out then what? Normally he did some volunteer work on a Sunday so thought about going out to Addenbrooke’s. It would be next weekend before he had a chance to go again so with a mental shrug he headed out. Addenbrooke’s was out of the city centre but not too far and it was a nice crisp autumn day, so he figured he would walk out and then catch the bus back, which would let him suss out where to queue for it the following week. As Andrew strolled out there he was relaxed about the day; based on his experience at the Sick Kids he was sure they were going to get him to complete an application to volunteer and then get back to him. He would not be interacting with any patients until he had been accepted.

Addenbrooke’s was a huge hospital, one of the major UK hospitals outside of London with several world class disciplines and specialties. It was a complete maze but at least a well signposted complete maze and Andrew managed to get himself to the oncology section. He took a lift to the Children’s ward and then started to look around. As was inevitable, there was not a soul to be seen in any of the corridors and he was unsure about walking into the ward without at least talking to someone. Fortunately a nurse came by and asked if she could help. Andrew explained he was a cancer survivor as an early teen and was looking for an opportunity to do something in a volunteer capacity. He was a prospective engineer and not that great with people, at least at first. Andrew figured he would not be sent to sit at the bedside of a patient, not at first and possibly never. The nurse asked him to take a seat and she would get someone to come and have a chat when they were free. Twenty minutes later he was sitting in a Doctor’s office looking at a weary resident. He looked beaten and reminded Andrew of how Fran looked at the end of her insane shifts.

“We don’t need to do this right now, you look like you need a quick nap not talking to me.”

The doctor waved it away.

“I am fine, I only have three hours to go then I am off. What are you doing this for?”

The abrupt change of gears threw Andrew for a second.

“I had cancer five years ago, skin cancer, on my lower back. The concern was about a spread to the organs. Surgery and radiation didn’t work and it took chemo to kill it off. I was in hospital for six months on and off and I saw a lot of patients not make it, especially children. While I was at school I worried about how I would react if I came back to a cancer ward, but I am done hiding. I want to try and make a difference, in any way possible. I know I don’t look like a cancer survivor but I have a picture with me of when I got out, well a couple of weeks later, and I am 5’2” and 90lbs. I am proof that listening to the doctors and following the diet and exercise plan work. I don’t know, I want to do something, help not make it worse and I have been through it. I am prepared to come every week while I am in town.”

He finally took a breath from his rapid, almost staccato, speech and looked at the doctor.

“Okay, I can see that you are passionate about this. Fill in this form and leave it at the front desk. You have to go through a screening now and get told a whole lot of dos and don’ts, well mainly don’ts. I think you will help, but you have to be patient. Thanks for coming in. Sit here and complete the form and then close the door on the way out.”

He was not rude, just to the point, and it was exactly as Andrew expected. So he sat and filled in the form as instructed and then left, dropping the form off at the desk. It was still early so he decided to walk back as well. Second day there and already Andrew was getting antsy. Bring on the classes. Brunch lasted until 2.00 and Andrew was able to get back in plenty time. Hall was busy with lots of new people sitting with their parents, he saw lots of maternal fussing as he stood in the queue and it made him smile.

“Where have you been?”

Talking of mothers.

“Hello Helena, it is nice to see you too.”

“Sorry, it is just no one has seen you all morning and there aren’t that many places to hide.”

“I was out and about exploring. I swam every morning during the week in Edinburgh so I was off to find the local pool. Did you miss me?”

He said the last firmly tongue in cheek but was surprised at her slight flush. Helena finally stopped hovering over him and sat down beside him. Andrew had been debating whether to see if he could introduce himself to some more people but it was not to be.

“You left early last night Andrew, and then you were away again this morning, just a bit surprising that is all.”

In between bites he explained his not being much of a drinker.

“I can see how that makes sense. By the end of the night I think I should have joined you in leaving early.”

Again Andrew raised his eyebrow and this time he got a well-deserved whack.

“Stop it, you arse.”

“I know what you mean. I don’t see the point of drinking until you can’t stand up anymore, can’t remember how you got home, never mind throwing up or any of that. I am not the world’s greatest party animal in case you hadn’t guessed.”

“Boy are you going to stand out around here.”

There was a teasing tone to her voice but there was an underlying seriousness as well.

“I have always gone my own way. Well for the last five years. A lot of people drink to fit in, I saw that a bit with Nigel, he looked surprised that I turned him down for another beer last night. The one I think is very interesting is when you drink several beers before finally working up the courage to talk to someone you fancy. I don’t get that one but I don’t care, I have never been accosted by a drunk female professing undying love.”

“Are you going to go on the tour this afternoon?”

Andrew shook his head.

“Come on Helena, there will be at least 20 Colleges, probably more, all out there showing their Freshers where fucking Sainsbury’s is. I am sure there will be some people not going so I am going to grab a jacket to sit on and I am going to try and find the south Paddock, apparently we are allowed to sit on the grass of that one, and meet some more people. Yesterday was fun and I am going to try and get to know three or four more people better rather than shout at strangers at a drunken meet and greet.”

Helena smiled.

“You really do swim against the tide, don’t you? Would you mind some company? The way you explained it sounds awful so I think I am going to skip it too.”

“Of course you are welcome to join me. That is what these five days are all about. Actually getting to know some of the people as opposing to meeting 170 strangers and saying hi. But you seem to be really good at the meet and greet part of this. You were always in the thick of the action last night.”

“Part bossy, part organiser, that’s me. I like to get to know people but it can be a challenge sometimes. The idea of the two of us sitting and chatting on the Paddock and hopefully some other people pluck up the nerve to come and join us, that seems relaxing. As I have sat here with you I realised that I am quite wound up just fitting in, trying to make an effort. I see what you are saying about knowing a few well as opposed to lots superficially. Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“I am actually quite shy in larger groups and so it would be great if you were there, especially if a few more people join us. Come on, I am going to get my jacket in case the ground is damp.”

Thus Andrew’s subversion of the established order began. Well not really, but the two of them skipped the approved activity and went to the Paddock and found it deserted, almost. Spreading out their two jackets they sat and looked at each other.

“Tell me about life in Edinburgh? I have seen some pictures and a couple of TV shows but I have never been.”

“I was born there but moved away when I was one. Came back when I was seven and have lived there ever since. I went to a private school there, George Heriot’s which is right in the centre of town, the school looks out at the Castle. I think all the pupils take it for granted but it is an amazing spot. I was brainy at school, the fact that I am here gives that away. I studied hard and did five A-level equivalent exams last year. In fact I did an A-level and four Scottish equivalents. What else. I have a little sister who I do not get on with, a little brother 14 years younger than me, both my parents are still alive, a teacher and a social worker, and I have been excited about getting here since June of last year when I came to the Open Day. Compared to University College and Imperial in London this felt so right. As we talked about yesterday, I don’t know what I am going to do yet, other than something to do with Engineering. How’s that for a start.”

“Pretty good actually. The exam thing is interesting, so Scotland has different exams?”

“Yes. It is confusing as hell.”

“You didn’t really tell me much about yourself though Andrew.”

Andrew looked at Helena, reading the interest in her eyes.

“I am not one to really talk about myself. I enjoy studying, and am happiest when I am studying. I was walking back this morning thinking that I can’t wait for classes to start so that I have the constant pressure of classes and homework. I found this summer to be tough because I wasn’t able to study. I drove everyone crazy.”

“Bloody hell Andrew, you want work already? Interesting that you didn’t give much away even when I asked. I like a man with secrets, gives me a challenge to wheedle them out over the course of the term or year.”

He laughed.

“Prepare to be disappointed, I am a boring guy who studies too hard and doesn’t party. Anyway, enough about me. Tell me the longhand version of Helena Innes.”

“I live in Hampshire not far from Ascot racecourse and I went to school there, St. George’s School a girl’s school right there in Ascot. It is mixed, both day and boarders, and I was a day pupil until the last two years.”

Andrew stiffened as he realised that Helena went to the same school as Ara, although Ara was a year older in age and three years ahead in classes of Helena.

“Like you, I was brainy and studious at school and did well in my A-levels. I have come here to try and sort out what I want to do with my life. School was full of the children of rich and powerful people and although I did okay at school I am not sure I enjoyed it. Dad is a snob and plays up the connection to the Duke of Roxburghe, despite the fact that we have never met him or any of his family. Fifth cousins once removed is stretching it a bit. So I have escaped to here to try and figure out what life in three years’ time is going to be like. I am a bit lost to be honest.”

She stopped and looked at him.

“I don’t normally open up like this. I am not sure why I am pouring my heart out to you.”

“It is therapeutic to talk stuff through. I can give you no answers but by having someone to sit and listen, force yourself to explain your own thinking, or actions, or feelings, it can often sort things out in your head. I spent a lot of time this summer talking to my friends about how it felt like such a time of transition, boy to man, pupil to student, all that sort of thing.”

“Exactly, did you feel like it was an extended farewell?”

He nodded.

“Started with the farewells to the people at school that you are unlikely to run into again, and then it just spirals closer and closer until you are saying goodbye to your family.”

Their fractionally maudlin conversation was interrupted by a couple of sporty types who came over and asked if they could join them. One of the guys looked oddly familiar but it wasn’t until he introduced himself as Brendan that Andrew remembered.

“I met you at the interview process last December. Andrew McLeod, good to see you again Brendan.”

“Likewise Andrew.”

The other guy was Paul and they had arrived late and missed the tour of the town and so were just wandering around when they spotted the two of them lurking inconspicuously in the middle of a huge lawn.

“Did you two miss the tour as well?” Paul asked.

“No. I was all set to go but then Andrew convinced me that hanging out here was better than being one of 20 plus Colleges all with their Freshers wandering around Cambridge. When he put it that way, it was a no brainer. So no, you are just sitting with the rebels.”

Brendan and Andrew chatted about the interview process and tried to remember the names of the other two applicants that were there with them. Neither name immediately came to mind and they never saw either of them so they either weren’t made an offer or they didn’t get the grades. There was a fair bit of rehashing of old ground for Helena and Andrew but it was inevitable that weekend and Paul and Brendan seemed decent blokes. One thing Andrew did have to be careful about was exposure to the sun, and to UV rays. The day was nice, crisp and dry and it was overcast. But he knew from repeated lectures from the Oncology department at the hospital back in Edinburgh that he still had to be very careful and vigilant. After less than half an hour Andrew knew he had to put on his hat which was folded in the pocket of his jacket. He pulled it out, popped out all the creases and put in on him head. As expected this provoked interest from the other three.

“I have to be careful in the sun. I have very sensitive skin so I can’t sit out too long even on overcast days, the UV rays are still high even on a day like today.”

Andrew was hoping to avoid mentioning his cancer and the explanation was accepted with mild ribbing. Over the next hour the group grew to as large as 12 people but then some of the people started to head back to their rooms to unpack. Around 4.00 Andrew decided to call it quits, it had been a relaxing afternoon but he wanted to make sure his swim stuff was hung up to dry for the morning. He thought Helena might stay but she ended up coming back with him as well and invited herself in to see his room.

“Ooh, you have a computer. What did you bring that for?”

“I don’t know that I will need it for the course, although I expect I will at some point. I am paying for the holidays so I don’t need to worry about hauling it back to Edinburgh until June. Even if I don’t need it for the course I will use it for some other stuff.”

“Where is all your stuff Andrew?”

“What do you mean? This is all my stuff.”

Helena looked bemused that he had so few clothes with him, but then again she had her Dad and Andrew to help her with all her bags.

“You should see my room, I can hardly move. You have so much space.”

“Yes, but you have a different outfit for every day this term whereas you will see the same stuff from me all the time.”

He dodged the whack but the point had more than a grain of truth. Helena went off to get ready for the first Formal of the year, the Fresher’s Formal. Men had to wear suits and ties with their gowns, while ladies had to wear a dress and their gown. The Formal was scheduled to start at 8.00.

Before then the Freshers had a meeting with their College family. This was a student from third or fourth year that could act as ‘parent’ for a group of new first years. It was another way to find out how things really worked. Dominic was acerbic and Andrew didn’t take to him but he did have a lot of useful information especially about supervisions, the Cambridge name for tutorials. There were three Freshers, one of whom failed to make much of an impression, although he would probably say the same thing about Andrew, as the other person in their group was trying to change the world in a hurry and needed to tell them all about it. He wouldn’t shut up and so Andrew started to tune him out. The other guy, Dave maybe, also seemed to be in his own world. Between an acerbic older student, and Mr. in love with the sound of his own voice, it was an hour and a half that Andrew wished he could get back. He knew he would not be back for another ‘family’ get together unless they were mandated.

By the time they got to the bar before the Formal Andrew realised why some people drank, because he needed one after that. Most people were sticking in their family groups but there were a few random souls milling around so he introduced himself to three more guys, who like him had not hit it off with their family group and had bailed on them. Steve and Alex knew each other through sport, they had played on different teams within a school rugby league and Brian was also a rugby player. They were so glad to have escaped the bores in their groups that they had a fun, cynical 20 minutes of feeling superior before it was time to head to Hall for dinner.

Formal dinners in Hall were everything you imagine they would be at an institution that valued history and tradition. Everyone was in suits and dresses, they were all wearing gowns, the Hall was lit by candles and the whole thing was more than a little anachronistic. The students divided into two groups on Formals, those that had no problem with them and those that hated them. One or two students really loved them, about 40% of the undergraduates did not mind them but the other 60% hated them with a vengeance. There was no middle ground. But that night the four of them sat and chatted, mainly about sports. All three were going to play rugby although none of them professed to be anything more than enthusiastic amateurs. The camaraderie seemed to be the key selling point for them, and all three of them were knocking back the booze. Brian noticed Andrew’s slower pace.

“You a lightweight Andrew? Can’t hold your beer?”

Andrew shook his head.

“I have never drunk too much beer. I am just not a big drinker, too many sad scenes when I was growing up.”

“What do you mean?”

“Family members that drink too much, was at parties when I was 14 and 15 where all the adults just got completely drunk almost mindlessly, a grim determination.” Andrew shrugged. “I enjoy a drink but I don’t see the attraction of getting hammered.”

The guys had listened respectfully when he had mentioned the family members but were ribbing him pretty hard at the end. Andrew shrugged it off.

“I have other vices instead.”

“Really, you don’t look like you are into drugs.”

Andrew had to laugh at the slightly breathless tone.

“No not drugs. Women. It is a lot easier to talk to them when you are sober, or have only had a few beers.”

They were appraising him but still giving him crap at the same time.

“There is one other reason I don’t drink much. The first of these parties I talked about was when I was 14 and it was New Year. I watched everyone get completely, passing out drunk and it didn’t look fun. Now I was 14 and I could have sneaked a can of beer or a glass of whisky but the impression of all these guys grimly drinking vast amounts of whisky meant that I didn’t. So I headed to bed around 1.00 in the morning, maybe a little earlier. Less than an hour later I was woken up by a horny seventeen year old that proceed to dispose of my virginity in a very thorough manner.”