Chapter 28

Rome, Papal States. March 1069

Pope Alexander found he was nervous, and he hated being nervous. He was at the head of the Papal Army as it marched out to meet the Normans under Robert Guiscard. War finally broke out when Alexander refused to seat another of Robert’s cousins as a cardinal. Robert had quickly gathered his knights and headed north, intending to teach Alexander a lesson he would never forget.

The day was clear and calm when the reformed Papal Army met the Normans just south of Rome near the ruins of what was rumored to be the villa of one of the Roman Emperors. As Alexander looked out over his army, he couldn’t help but feel like he had made a deal with the devil. Sextus was standing next to him and knew how his liege felt.

“You have little need to worry, your Grace. Your men are trained with these new weapons, and your officers know how to handle them.”

“But what about after Sextus? What happens when the commoners figure out that with these new weapons, the playing field is tilted in their direction?”

“Those are problems for the future, your Grace. Today you have a much more pressing problem to deal with.”

“You’re right as usual, Sextus.”

With that, Alexander turned his attention back to the battlefield before him. His army was lined up following their new training, and Alexander could see the one hundred Bretons in the center of the line. These Bretons had trained his army hard since Christmas, and now that army would be put to use.

In many ways, the army opposing them was one of the most professional in Europe; once you got past the British Army, it was definitely the most feared. As direct descendants of Vikings, the Normans knew how to fight and were tough. Today though, Alexander aimed to end the Norman menace to Rome.

Using their cavalry, the Papal Army lured the Normans into a trap. Alexander had given operational command of the Papal Army to the Breton commander because he knew how to use the new army. He placed them on the reverse slope of a hill directly in front of the Normans. The Papal artillery was hidden from view by fresh brush piled on them. The Papal cavalry used to raid the Normans was the last old-fashioned unit in the Papal Army but made perfect bait.

The Normans fell for the bait hook, line, and sinker. They chased the cavalry up the hill, not seeing the cannons hidden in the trees until it was too late. The Papal artillery crews threw the brush off and fired before the Norman knights knew what hit them. Each of the thirteen cannons was loaded with canister and could have shredded most of the Norman attacking force. Thirteen of them were devastating, and the remaining Norman army couldn’t do anything against the returning Papal cavalry who swept them off the field. Following in the wake of the cavalry was the infantry, and together they swept through the Norman camp.

The battle only lasted twenty minutes, and in the end, the entire Norman Army was eliminated, with Robert Guiscard dying in the opening artillery barrage. Alexander didn’t allow his army time to celebrate their victory; he had bigger prizes in mind. The first thing he did, though, was to walk the battlefield and lose his dinner. Alexander was no stranger to the sights and smells of the battlefield, but the sights and smells that greeted him that day were far beyond anything he had ever experienced. Even though his stomach was churning, Alexander had something he still had to do: find Robert Guiscard. Slowly Alexander worked his way through the casualties until he found the man he was looking for, or at least what was left of him.

Robert Guiscard was a sight Alexander would never forget as long as he lived. His left arm had been torn off at the shoulder, and the right was gone below the elbow. If that wasn’t bad enough, most of Robert’s stomach was missing, and what was left of his entails was hanging out of the hole. With Robert out of the picture, Alexander had to act fast to take full advantage of the situation.

The army swept south as swiftly as the wind, capturing one Norman settlement after another until they came to Naples. By the time they got to Naples, the local Norman nobles had organized themselves and barricaded the city’s gates. In times past, that would have been enough to cause the Papal Army problems, but now, the artillery was brought up and, in the span of an afternoon, pulverized the city wall.

During the late evening hours, the Norman nobles still in the city tried to slip out. The Papal commander expected this, had troops waiting, and captured all the nobles. When the Papal Army entered the city the following day, the welcome they received was underwhelming. The papal soldiers, though, were well-behaved when they entered the city, and there was no looting besides the Norman nobles who fled. Within twenty-four hours, most of the populous figured papal troops were for the best since a large portion of the loot from the noble’s homes found its way into the hands of the city’s tavern keepers and whores. Even Alexander got into the act when he hired a beautiful local whore to entertain him while he was in Naples.

The whore’s name was Elisa, and although she was Catholic, she didn’t care about entertaining the pope as long as he paid her what she was owed. With her clear skin and long curly black hair, she set Alexander’s heart on fire with lust. It was everything he could do to keep his hands off her until she was in his chambers.

With Elisa’s clothes off, Alexander could see the woman’s black hair was natural; she had a matching black patch between her legs. The ivory color of the woman’s skin made the black fur all the more striking, and Alexander couldn’t wait any longer as he ripped his clothes off.

It surprised Alexander when he found Elisa was an active minx in the sack. Until her, every whore Alexander had tried just laid there and waited for the pope to finish. With an active whore, Alexander didn’t know what to do, but he would die to figure it out. It blew his mind when Elisa pushed him on his back and mounted him like a prize stallion before riding him hard.

When the sun came through the window the following day, Alexander had problems getting out of bed. He was sore, but aside from his muscles, he was happy. Elisa woke up when Alexander stirred and began to dress. She had to get home and check on her children, but Alexander had other ideas;

“Elisa, would you like to accompany me while my army finishes the Normans off?”

“Sorry, but I have children and my parents to care for.”

“It would be much easier to take care of them with money. If you come with me, I’ll make it worth your while.”

“How much is worth my while?”

Alexander pulled out a pouch of gold, and Elisa’s eyes were wide. It was more money than she had ever seen and would make caring for her family much more manageable. They could move out of the city and buy a small place in the country where they wouldn’t need to worry about staving as they could grow their own food. Seeing her wavering, Alexander sweetened the offer when he offered to allow her family to come with her as long as Elisa spent every night with him. The proposal was too good for Elisa, and she took it.

It had only been three weeks since the Norman Army had been eliminated, and the Papal Army was marching out of Naples before heading south. Alexander wanted to cross over to Sicily and eliminate all the Normans and Muslim forces on the island. Traveling with him was his whore and her family. Unknown to Alexander, he had become the laughingstock of the army because of his whore.

Sicily proved to be a tough nut to crack, and the Papal troops got bogged down fighting through the mountains and small towns. The Normans weren’t resisting; the Muslims were and even engaged the Catholic forces in guerrilla warfare. Six weeks after arriving in Sicily, Alexander left the island and returned to Rome while his army stayed behind to mop up all the remaining resistance. There was a lot of resistance, especially among the Muslim population. The city of Palermo was holding out, and the Papal army wasn’t strong enough to take the city by force.

When Alexander arrived back in Rome, he set about raising another army to control the population and finish conquering the rest of southern Italy. Just before he entered Rome, Alexander turned his whore loose with a large bonus enabling her to buy a small farm that would support her family for many years to come.

Meissen, Holy Roman Empire. January 1069

In the Holy Roman Empire, Henry IV had a rebellious noble to deal with. Egbert had built an army over the late fall and early winter that wouldn’t have proved a challenge if it wasn’t for the Polish factor. After Christmas, Egbert signed an agreement with Duke Bolesław II, the Bold of Poland. Duke Bolesław would support Egbert when Henry IV came to punish him for rebelling. In return, the province of Milceni would be returned to Poland.

What nobody counted on was Henry not following the script. Instead of waiting until spring, Henry attacked in the depths of winter. To do that, his army left most of their artillery at home and used skis to move around.

During the last week in January, the Imperial Army arrived and caught Egbert with his pants down, literally. When they arrived, Egbert was working over a new whore. He couldn’t believe the Imperial Army was in his town and sent the messenger back to confirm before he went back to his whore. The next knock on the door caused Egbert’s blood to run cold because before he could react, imperial soldiers burst in and arrested him.

The imperial assault was so swift that none of Egbert’s soldiers could react and were disarmed before they could raise a pikestaff. When the soldiers found the whores Egbert was using to make money, they lost it. Over the officer’s protest, the soldiers pulled a naked Egbert out into the town square. There, they made a brush pile and tied Egbert to a pole. To get the ultimate revenge, they brought out one of his favorite whores and gave her the torch. She was all too happy to light the pile to get revenge for Egbert defiling her.

It took almost 45 minutes for Egbert to die, not that the townspeople cared. They hated Egbert, and watching him burn to death was the highlight of their winter. While Egbert burned, the imperial soldiers ransacked his residence, looking for loot. It didn’t take them long to find it, and Egbert was still alive to watch it being taken out and loaded onto wagons. To make his defeat more humiliating, his whores were allowed to take money for their doweries and their pick of anything left.

After Egbert died, his remains were taken and thrown in the woods for the local wolves and bears to eat. The commanders knew the Polish Army would want to attack once they received word of the disaster; their job was to make such an attack too expensive for the Polish to consider.

When Henry heard the news of what happened to Egbert, he shrugged. There was nothing he could do, and it might incentivize his other nobles to stay in line. His army hadn’t caused any other problems and had turned over large amounts of loot to Henry after they paid every former whore they could find. They used Egbert’s records to track the whores down, and if they found the whore had been abused, the noble was arrested and given the same deal as Egbert. In total, fifty-five nobles were executed by the army, and while the other nobles of the empire were angry, they didn’t dare say anything.

Bertha was horrified at what was happening to the nobles, but she had lost all influence over Henry. He didn’t care about her anymore and drove forward with his project of diluting noble influence over government institutions by hiring commoners to work in the institutions.

After the army finished their noble execution spree, Henry ordered several forts to be built along the frontier with Poland. If Poland invaded, he wanted a speed bump to slow them down. The forts would also act as bases for controlling the local area.

Kraków, Kingdom of Poland. January 1069

Duke Bolesław was put in a difficult place by Henry’s quick victory. He knew the rebellious German princes would be defeated, but he counted on them holding out long enough to get his army into position to crush the imperials. Now the imperials had destroyed the rebellious princes making Duke Bolesław look like a bumbling idiot. This defeat would weaken Duke Bolesław because many of his allies would now doubt his word. Many of his supporters were asking questions within a month of the spectacular imperial victory. The duke couldn’t do anything because most of his army was tied down in Prussia, trying to subdue the local pagan tribes.