Chapter 20

Claire “Cece” Cleary

Friday, August 9th, 2013

Cece awoke to the sound of metal crashing to the floor. She was out of bed in a flash, rushing out of her room and into her dad’s one door over. He was on the floor next to his bed, his walker tipped over next to him.

“Fucking shit piece of shit thing,” he said.

She helped him up off the floor. It was not the easiest thing in the world. Her dad was still a pretty big guy and being able to help him in situations like this was one of the main reasons she’d become so dedicated to her gym routine. Once he was up and steady with his hands on the bed, she righted his walker.

“You’re supposed to call me if you need to get out of bed, Dad,” Cece said.

“I don’t need help getting out of my own damn bed. That stupid thing just wasn’t in the right place and I stepped on it.”

Cece shook her head. His moods had been getting more volatile lately, which wasn’t a great sign. The motor symptoms of Parkinson’s came on first and were what most people associated with the disease, but the cognitive effects started to show up as things progressed.

He took hold of his walker and started toward the bathroom.

“Do you need any help?” she asked him.

“Claire, please allow your father the dignity of wiping his own ass for as long as it’s still possible,” he said, the warmth and joy suddenly back in his voice even as he dealt directly with the reality of his progressing disease.

Cece couldn’t help but laugh. “Fine, Dad. But please call me if you need anything. That’s why I’m here.”

“I thought you were here because you missed your dad and couldn’t stand to be on the other side of the country from me.”

“That too. Are you going to get back into bed, or are you up now?”

“I’m up. Can you make me some breakfast?”

Cece nodded, though she grumbled a bit internally. A glance at her dad’s alarm clock told her that it was only a few minutes after four in the morning. She really could have used a bit more sleep. “Sure, Dad. What do you want?”

“Do we still have any of that potato and sausage hash?”

“Yeah, I’ll heat some up for you.”

“Thank you, Claire.”

Cece went into the kitchen and dug the leftovers out of the fridge, popping them into the microwave to heat up. It was still too early for her to have much of an appetite, so she made up a plate for her dad and just grabbed a banana for herself. When her dad made his way out of his room and into the kitchen she sat down at the table with him. He crossed himself and prayed silently before digging into his food.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay if I go out tonight?” Cece asked her dad.

“Yes, yes, I’ll be fine,” he said as he lifted a forkful of sausage and potatoes to his mouth, his shaking hands spilling some of the food back down onto his plate. “I’ll be in bed by then anyways.”

“And look how well that worked out for you this morning,” she said.

“It was one fall, Claire. I’m not an invalid.”

“Dad, I’m serious. I won’t be able to have a good time if I’m worrying about you all night.”

“I’ll be fine. I promise I won’t even get out of bed the whole time you’re gone.”

“What if you need to use the bathroom?”

“I’ll just bring a bottle to bed.”

“Dad, gross!”

He laughed, full and hearty. “Claire, I want you to go out and have fun. You need it, after that jerk–”

“Please don’t, dad. It’s fine.”

He grumbled a little bit but didn’t continue his thought. “This one is nice, yes?”

“I think so,” she said,

“You thought Liam was–”

“Dad, seriously. I don’t want to talk about that. It’s over.”

“Does this boy go to church?” he continued.

“We haven’t talked about it, but I don’t think so.”

“Hm.”

“I don’t really go either, Dad.”

“You go every week!”

“No, you go every week, and I take you. I sit there. I don’t take communion.”

“The graces are still working on your heart, Claire.”

“What was it they used to tell us in youth group? ‘Just sitting in a garage doesn’t make you a car?’ Just because I’m sitting in church it doesn’t mean I’m a Catholic, Dad.”

“No, the fact that we got you baptized when you were a month old makes you a Catholic.”

“Can we not do this right now? I don’t think he believes. I don’t, either. Not anymore.”

“Your mother would–”

“Do not try to bring Mom into this.”

“Fine,” he said, resuming his meal. They were silent for several minutes as he ate. When he was finished, he set down his fork. “I love you, Claire,” he said.

Cece sighed. “I love you too, Dad.”

“Do you need help picking out your clothes for your date?”

“Ha! Not from you!”

She reached out and took his trembling hand in hers, the two of them grinning at each other.

Ryan

“Are you okay?” I asked Cece as she slid into my passenger seat. She looked just a bit less put together than normal, and I could tell from the way she had walked down the driveway that she was dragging a bit.

She had to cover her yawn with a hand before she could get out an answer. “Yeah, just tired. Didn’t get much sleep. Been up with Dad since about four.”

“That doesn’t sound fun. Are you sure you don’t want to just get some rest?”

“No, I’m fine. Just need to get myself going.”

“Maybe we should just go grab some coffee instead of hitting the gym this morning.”

“I said I’m fine, Ryan,” she said, with a bit of an edge. She winced just a second later. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you. I guess I am a bit tired and cranky this morning.”

“I get it. I’m not really a morning person either, and I didn’t have to get up hours ago.”

“Still, I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you. Everyone’s allowed a grumpy morning here and there.”

“Thanks.”

We didn’t talk much on the drive to the gym. Cece seemed as if it was taking everything she had just to stay awake. When we arrived at the gym she went off to workout on her own without a word.

“She doing okay?” Paul asked me as we settled in for our own workout.

“Sounds like she had a rough morning. She seems pretty wiped out.”

“You two still on for your date tonight?”

“As far as I know. I hope so. Maybe I should double-check with her, though.”

“Did you call that guy I recommended?”

“Yeah, thanks. Reservation is all set.”

“My pleasure, dude. What do you have planned for after dinner?”

“There’s a concert at the Casbah that I thought she might be into.”

“Nice, nice,” Paul said. “Hope everything goes well for you two.”

“Thanks, I do too. We’ll see.”

We finished our workout, showered, and changed for work. I said goodbye to Paul and went to go meet Cece in the lobby. Normally she would be standing around waiting for me, but today she was sitting in one of the chairs. She didn’t even notice when I walked up.

“Hey, you ready to go?” I asked.

She startled, like she had almost been asleep before I had come over. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

We walked to my car. “Are we still good for tonight? You look like you could use your rest, Cece.”

“What? Yeah, of course we are. I’m really looking forward to it. I just need to get some coffee in me. Maybe I’ll even try to sneak in a nap later. You’re not getting out of our date that easily.”

“Trust me, I’m not trying to get out of it. I’m excited for it. It just might hurt my ego a bit if you fell asleep in the middle of our first date.”

“Sorry, it’s just been a long morning already. Trust me, I’ll be fine.”

“Good,” I said. When we pulled up to her house, I reached over and took her hand. “I hope you can get some rest. I’ll pick you up at sevens, sound good?”

She smiled. “Yeah, sounds great. I’ll see you tonight,” she said.

Cece

The first thing Cece did when she got home was check on her dad. He was sitting in his big chair in the living room, watching TV. He asked for another Diet Coke, so she got him one before heading to her room and collapsing onto her bed. She needed a shower, but just couldn’t work up the energy right now. She grabbed her phone and set an alarm for twenty minutes so she could take a quick power nap.

When her alarm went off twenty minutes later, she hit the snooze button one time and mumbled “Just a few more minutes,” to no one in particular.

The next time her alarm went off, she groaned and finally got up from the bed. She went into the kitchen to make herself some coffee.

“Need anything, Dad?” she called out to the living room. When he didn’t respond, she peeked into the room. He was asleep in his chair, snoring softly. He still had a couple of hours until he needed to take his next dose of medication, so she just let him sleep for now. At least one of them could be well-rested.

She heard her phone vibrating on the counter. Grabbing her coffee, she snatched her phone and unlocked it to check the message she’d received. It was from her niece, Carrie.

Here, let me show you. Cece walked back to her room and pulled out the outfit she had planned for the date, laying it out on the bed before snapping a picture and sending it to Carrie.

Cece pulled up the browser on her phone and searched to see if she could find any pictures from past Stanford football rosters. It took her a few minutes, but eventually she found him. The website had his headshot from the team photos as well as his bio and stats from his time playing, plus a couple action shots. She sent the link to Carrie.

Ryan

I closed the last car door and waved goodbye to an adorable first grader and his mom as they drove off. Afternoon pick-up line duty—done. First week of the school year—done. Now all I had to do was head home and get ready for my date with Cece. I walked back to my classroom to grab my bag and was surprised to find Riley standing outside my door. She had mostly avoided me all week since I had told her about Thomas on Monday.

“What can I do for you, Miss Jackson?” I asked her as I approached the classroom.

“Do you have a minute?”

“Yeah, sure. Come on in,” I said as I unlocked the door. I opened it and gestured for her to enter. “Ladies first.” Riley smiled at me and stepped inside. I walked over to my desk and turned around to sit on top of it, facing her. “What’s up?”

“First off, I wanted to thank you again for telling me about Thomas,” she said.

“Of course. I was just doing what anyone else would would have done.”

“No, I don’t think that’s true. I know a lot of guys would think they’d be breaking some sort of Bro Code by telling me what he was up to.”

“That’s bullshit. First, Thomas is not my bro. Even if he was, that would just mean I’d go to him and give him the chance to own up to his shit first. It doesn’t mean I’d keep helping to cover it up. I’m not going to support any sort of code that condones or covers up cheating. Don’t go for a girl you know your buddy is interested in, don’t date a friend’s ex, sure I can understand those bits of ‘Bro Code.’ But ‘don’t let a girl know her boyfriend is cheating on her?’ Absolutely not.”

“Well, I’m glad you feel that way, but I don’t think everyone does. That’s not the main point, though. I wanted to let you know that I broke up with him.”

“That’s a big step. I’m sure it must have been very hard for you, given how long you’ve been together. I’m sorry it had to come to that.”

“I’m not. Things haven’t been great for a while now. I only wish I would have done it sooner, like when he first floated the idea of us opening our relationship. Tiffany told me to, but I didn’t listen. I should have.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t seem like a great sign for the health of a relationship, but what do I know?”

“If ... if I had broken up with him, and I didn’t have to ... run off on you that night ... do you think you would have wanted to see me again?”

“Of course I would have.”

Her breath caught. I didn’t think my answer should have been very surprising, but apparently it was. “Do ... do you think that you still might–”

“No,” I said, cutting her off. “No, not anymore. I think it’s for the best that we just leave that behind us and focus on being good coworkers.”

“Of course, yeah, totally,” she said, shaking her head. “I agree. I just meant ... never mind. You’re right. It’s silly.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean it to put you down or anything.”

“It’s fine, I get it. I don’t know why I even said anything about it.”

“Look, Riley. It’s been a crazy few weeks for the two of us, both as individuals and with all of this stuff between us. Let’s just focus on moving forward. We have a long year ahead of us. I think this is just a good opportunity for us to work on becoming good colleagues, and maybe good friends, right?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” she said. “Definitely. Friends. Sounds good.”

“I’m sorry that you had to go through all of that this week. I admire your strength in handling it so well. I know I’m probably not the best person to talk through all of this with you, but if for whatever reason you want to, you know how to find me. I did just get out of a long, long-term relationship myself not too long ago, so I have a bit of experience here.”

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind,” she said.

“Have a good weekend, Riley. Go have some fun with Tiffany.”

She laughed. “I don’t think I’m up for the kind of fun she’ll want to have.”

“I can imagine. Take care of yourself, and I’ll see you on Monday, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks. Bye, Ryan,” she said. She turned and walked out the door.

I took a deep breath and then laughed at myself. What a difference a couple weeks makes. If Riley had come to me a few days after our first meeting and explained everything, I probably would have jumped at the chance to go out with her again. Now here I was, turning her down flat. It was a good development, I thought.

After locking up my classroom for the weekend, I walked to my car, got in, and drove back home to my apartment. I had a little bit of time to kill before I had to get ready for my date with Cece, so I changed into some workout clothes and went for a quick jog to run off some of my nervous energy. By the time I was done I had worked up a nice sweat, so the next order of business was a shower. I took my time, enjoying the hot water. When I was finished, I wrapped a towel around my waist and grabbed a razor and some shaving cream to clean up my face a bit.

There was a text from Kevin asking what I was up to, so before I started shaving I sent him a reply telling him about my date. About a minute later my phone started buzzing with a video call from Kevin. My hands were covered in shaving cream by then, so I tapped accept with one of my knuckles and got back to shaving. “What’s up, dude?” I asked.

“Ooh la la, looking good, Ryan,” answered a distinctly female voice who was definitely not Kevin.

I laughed. “Hey, Sara. Where’s Kev?”

“Don’t worry about him. Tell me about this date!”

I gave her the quick rundown about Cece as I finished shaving, then told her my plans for the evening.

“What are you going to wear?” she asked. I carried the phone into my room to show her the clothes I had laid out on my bed for the date. “Hmm. Do a red shirt instead, and wear some brown shoes instead of those black ones.”

I put the phone down so I could dig around in my closet for a minute. Putting the new items on my bed, I showed Sara the choices.

“Yes, perfect. Wear that,” she said.

“What would I do without you?”

“Die alone, probably.”

“Ouch. Thanks.”

“Kidding, kidding. I’m sure you’d be fine.” I could hear Kevin saying something in the background. “Okay, fine, fine, you can have your boyfriend back. Bye Ryan, good luck tonight!”

“Thanks Sara, later.”

Sara passed off the phone to her boyfriend. “Hey dude, sorry about that,” Kevin said.

“Don’t worry about it. She was very helpful.”

“Do you have condoms for tonight?”

“I don’t think it’s going to be that kind of date. In fact, I know it’s not. I want to take things slow.”

“Dude, it never hurts to be prepared. Better to have condoms and not need them than to need them and not have them.”

“ ... I’ll make sure I have some in the car.”

“There you go, boy scout. First real first date in a long time, huh? You nervous?” Kevin asked me.

“Actually, no, I’m feeling pretty good. Cece is really cool. I think we’ll have a good time.”

“Good. I’m excited for you, bro. Hope it goes well.”

“Thanks, me too.”

“Maybe she’ll end up being your plus-one to my wedding,” Kevin said.

“Still a bit early for that, I think, but I could think of worse outcomes for sure.”

“All right, I’ll let you finish getting ready. Sara and I are going out for dinner in a bit here, too.”

“Cool, have fun. Later, man.”

“Later.”