Chapter 1

Friday, July 19, 2013

I pulled into the almost-empty parking lot of Spellman Elementary School and grabbed a spot right near the front office. My car was packed tight with boxes containing everything I owned, hastily packed for the last-minute move. Thankfully my new apartment was furnished, which would make getting settled in much easier. All I had to do was finish signing the paperwork for my new job.

I turned off the car and got out, taking a moment to stretch my back and legs. I’d driven the eight hours from Palo Alto to San Diego with only one quick stop around Bakersfield to get gas and empty my bladder. I fought off a yawn as I stretched, I’d left just after four in the morning to ensure I’d make it down in time to sign everything I needed to finalize my employment before the office closed for the weekend. The start of school was still a couple weeks away, so the limited summer hours had them shutting things down pretty early in the afternoon, especially on a Friday.

I made my way to the front office and tried the door only to find it locked. I hit the buzzer and waited while I checked my phone. The only notification was a text from my mother asking me to let her know when I made it into town and inviting me to swing by as soon as I was settled in. I let her know that I had made it safely into town and would give her a call a bit later. After a minute or so I heard the door unlock. I pulled it open and stepped into the blessedly air-conditioned office. A middle-aged woman sat at the receptionist’s desk and greeted me with approximately zero enthusiasm as I entered, not even looking up from whatever it was she was doing on her computer. “How can I help you?” Only when I was standing directly in front of the desk did she look up, her eyes widening as she took a glance up and down.

I smiled down at her. “I’m here to see Mrs. Mitchell, is she available?”

Suddenly her face lit up. “Oh, yes! You must be Mr. Dillon, welcome to Spellman!” She stood up from her chair and offered her hand to shake over the desk. “I’m Rita. It’s so nice to meet you. I’m glad you could join us here on such short notice.”

“I’m glad I could, too. Things worked out well, especially with Mrs. Mitchell greasing the wheels. I’m just here to finish signing everything.”

“Of course! She should be in her office, give me just a moment.” Rita sat back down and grabbed the phone, hitting one button. “Steph, it’s Rita. Mr. Dillon is here for you. Of course, I’ll let him know. Thanks.” She hung up the phone and smiled back up at me. “She’ll be out to grab you in just a minute.”

“Thank you, Rita.” She offered me a seat while I waited but I declined, citing the long hours spent in the car that morning.

Not even thirty seconds later I spotted a familiar face coming around the corner and I couldn’t help the smile that crept onto my face. Mrs. Mitchell was my mother’s best friend, practically an aunt to me growing up. I’d spent countless days at her house as a child playing with her three kids while our mothers drank wine and gossiped, or whatever it was that mothers did while hanging out. The Mitchells were there for almost every event, whether it was birthdays or Fourth of July barbecues. I hadn’t seen much of Mrs. Mitchell or her family since leaving for college up north and then taking a job up there after graduation. My parents had divorced almost immediately after I left— apparently they were just waiting until they had completed their job of raising me to adulthood—and I hadn’t found much reason to come back down to visit while I was in school. Classes and football kept me plenty busy and the hassle of trying to figure out how to split my time between my parents did not appeal in the slightest. I held out my arms as she walked up and she crashed into me for a big hug, the top of her head not even reaching my chin. “Oh my goodness, Ryan, it’s sooo good to see you! You look great, seems like you’ve kept in pretty good shape even after football.”

“I’m not quite where I was while playing, but I’m doing my best to stay active. It’s wonderful to see you, Mrs. Mitchell. I’m sorry it’s been so long. I’ve missed all of you.”

She slapped me lightly on the shoulder. “Oh come on now, Ryan. We’re both adults, and you’re practically family, you can call me Stephanie.”

“Old habits die hard, Mrs. Mitchell, especially if you’re going to be my new boss.” Not only was she my mother’s best friend, Mrs. Mitchell was the principal of Spellman Elementary and had been instrumental in securing this job for me at the last minute.

She just laughed at me. “We’ll figure it out. Now come on, let’s sign some papers and make me being your boss official.” She led me down the hall and into her office, indicating that I should take the seat at the desk across from her. “I’m so glad this has all worked out. When Mrs. White resigned so suddenly I was scrambling to find a replacement, and as soon as your mother told me about your situation I knew you would be perfect for it.”

“Thank you again, I really appreciate it. It’s been...” I struggled with how to phrase things. “ ... well, let’s just say it’s been a tough few months, and I was worried that I would have to spend the year subbing and working retail or something to make up the difference. Finding a regular teaching position again is a huge relief. What happened to Mrs. White that she had to resign so suddenly?”

“She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It all came on so quick, and I’m afraid the outlook isn’t great. She has been such a treasured part of this school for a very long time, it hit us all very hard to hear the news. So many of the young teachers here really idolized her, you know, and she always went out of her way to mentor anyone who needed it.” Mrs. Mitchell took a deep breath and I could tell she was fighting back some tears. She collected herself and forced a smile onto her face. “But we’re very glad to have you here with us, whatever the circumstances that led to it.”

Mrs. Mitchell guided me through the paperwork, pointing out all the places I needed to sign, date, and initial the various forms. She made the copies of my driver’s license and verified my credentials. It was very fortunate that I had taken the extra steps to get a Multiple Subject credential that allowed me to teach elementary school on top of the Single Subject credential I had for my previous job teaching high school.

About thirty minutes later we had finished with all of the paperwork and procedure and I was officially a fifth-grade teacher at Spellman Elementary School. Mrs. Mitchell stood up and came around the desk to give me another hug. “It’s going to be so wonderful having you on board. You can come by on Monday to pick up keys and start getting your classroom set up if you’d like. You’ll just want everything done by the first for Meet the Teacher night, so there’s no rush, but I’m sure you’ll want to get things going and make it your own space.” She walked me back out to the receptionist’s desk as she reminded me of other important dates, with non-student work days starting on the 29th and the first day of school on August 6th. “Have you been by to see your mother yet?”

“Not yet, this was my first stop as soon as I got into town. My car is still loaded up with boxes. I’ll pick up the keys to my apartment next and unload. It’s been a long day, so depending on how I’m feeling after that I’ll either try to see her for dinner tonight or lunch tomorrow.”

“Well I know she’s just as excited to have you nearby again as I am. I’m sure Beth will be over the moon when I tell her you’ve moved back down here.”

I wasn’t quite as sure about that as Mrs. Mitchell seemed to be. Beth Mitchell was her middle child and only daughter, just six weeks younger than me. We had been best friends growing up and were practically inseparable for years. Our mothers loved to joke about us getting married when we grew up, but as we got older we started to drift apart. Our interests diverged and we made friends in different social circles. I was an athlete and made varsity football as a freshman, while Beth was a musician and artist, spending most of her time in singing, painting, or photography classes. She was both shy and late to develop, and didn’t take it well when I started dating other girls. We had of course remained friendly and still saw each other at family events throughout high school, but by the time sophomore year rolled around it was clear we were no longer best friends. When I started dating Tori Russo during my sophomore year and kept that going into my first semester of college (though that ended pretty quickly once we were apart), any opportunity we may have had to date was closed off. Not that I had been particularly interested in the first place. I liked Beth a lot as a person—she was smart, funny, creative, and a genuinely kind person—but she had never really been my type physically, and the added pressure of our family dynamics just made the whole prospect of dating her something I never really wanted to do. I truly did regret the way our friendship had faded, though. She had been such a huge part of my life for my first thirteen or so years, and I knew that our drifting apart was more than fifty percent my fault. I could have made more of an effort to keep her included, but I was drawn so quickly into the upper circles of popularity in high school and she never felt very comfortable around that crowd. By this point it has been almost five years since I’d even seen her in person, and I didn’t have any social media, so I couldn’t even keep up with what she was up to that way. My mother would occasionally pass along little updates about her when we spoke on the phone, and we sent each other the obligatory “Happy Birthday!” texts, but that was about it.

“It would be really great to see her and catch up, it’s been way too long. I changed phone numbers a few months ago after the, uh ... well, you know ... but feel free to pass my new one along to her.”

Mrs. Mitchell beamed at that. “I certainly will. She’s out of town for a couple weeks shooting some weddings, but I’ll tell her to call you when she’s back.” She gave me another big hug. “This is so wonderful. It’s going to be a great year. I know you’ll love the kids, and they’ll love you too. It will be great for some of them to have a male teacher for a change.”

“I’m looking forward to getting started. Thank you again, and I’ll see you soon.” With that, I stepped out of the office and into the summer heat before getting back into my car.

My new apartment was nothing to write home about, but it was pretty cheap and had all the essentials. It was a one-bedroom with a small living room and kitchen, not too far from the school. It certainly beat moving in with my mother. As much as I loved her, I had zero interest in living with her again, especially if I ever wanted to bring a woman back for a night of adult fun. I had gone through enough stress trying to sneak around and find places to have sex with Tori while I was in high school. College had been a fantastic bit of freedom in that regard, one I was loathe to ever give up again. Not that I expected my mother would make any rules about it, I was twenty-five for fuck’s sake, but it would still be an awkward situation. Living on my own was much better.

It took half a dozen trips up and down the single flight of stairs to get everything unloaded from my car and into the apartment. I unpacked a few essential items like my bedding, some clothes, toiletries, laptop, TV, and my PS3, but I was content to leave most of the boxes be for now. By the time I stopped to take a break it was already past four and I was feeling beat. I texted my mother to let her know that I was just going to shower and get some rest, and would see her for lunch tomorrow. I plugged in my phone and was asleep on top of my sheets before I even got a reply.

I woke up groggy and disoriented, spit covering one side of my face as I tried to remember where I was. Oh, right. New apartment. I checked the time on my phone and found it was almost 8:30pm. A nice four hour nap. My mother had replied, telling me to meet her at her house by one tomorrow. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I stumbled into the bathroom to relieve myself and then hopped into the shower. It wasn’t the most luxurious space but at least the place had decent water pressure. By the time I got out and changed into some fresh clothes it was already past 9:00 and my stomach was loudly protesting the lack of attention I had paid to it today. A quick search on my phone revealed a nearby chain bar/restaurant, so I grabbed my keys and left in search of a burger and some beers.

The place seemed relatively quiet for a Friday night, but nine was in that awkward spot that was too late for a real dinner crowd while still a bit early for a real bar crowd. A cute hostess greeted me with a bright smile as I entered. “Hi there! Meeting someone?” Her brown hair was cut to about shoulder length and framed her face well, while her top tried in vain to conceal her rather prodigious assets. I glanced down to see “Lexi” printed on her name tag. And maybe to get a second glance at her chest, so sue me.

“Hi, Lexi. Just me for tonight, I think I’m just gonna grab a seat at the bar if that’s alright.”

“Of course, let me know if you need anything.” She gave me another smile and I walked past her into the bar area. I looked back to see if I could check out her rear view, but caught her checking me out instead. She blushed and quickly turned back to her hostess stand. It felt good to have her looking me over like that, and fair’s fair, I had done the same to her. I sat down at the bar and glanced up at the TVs, which were split between sports and local news. The Padres had won their game in St. Louis earlier that day, and there had been a fatal accident on the 5. Usual San Diego excitement.

Unfortunately the bartender, a guy named Steve, was not anywhere near as nice to look at as Lexi had been. He took my order for a bacon cheeseburger and a large draft beer and then mostly left me alone. I pulled out my phone as I drank and debated whether or not I wanted to take a chance on one of the new dating apps my friends had made me install before I left Palo Alto. It had been a couple months now since my breakup, but if I was being honest with myself, I was still pretty devastated by the whole ordeal. My friends, not just the guys but the girls too, had encouraged me to go out and drown myself in some strange to get over my funk and move on, but I had been reluctant to do so. Especially while I was still living up north and holding onto some sliver of hope that maybe Amanda and I could work things out and get back together.

But now I had moved back to Southern California, and deep down I knew that the issues which had caused our breakup were too serious and fundamental for us to ever make things work again. It sucked, and it hurt, a lot, but at least I had found that out before we’d gotten married. After seeing how my parents’ marriage had fallen apart, I had no intention of getting married just to get divorced sometime down the road. I knew that when I finally did get married, I wanted it to be the real deal, forever. But if I was ever going to find that I had to start somewhere. So, with a sigh, I opened up the app. My friends had made me download it, but I had never even finished setting up my profile. My buddy Kevin’s girlfriend Sara had helped me pick out what she said were some good pictures, but I hadn’t filled anything else out yet. I decided to keep it simple:

New in town, just looking to meet someone. 25.

Sara would probably yell at me for how plain and boring it was, but I didn’t care. I had no experience with this sort of dating app thing. I had always preferred to meet and flirt in person, but in a new town I didn’t have a lot of prospects for meeting people yet. It’s not like I could just start picking up my coworkers at the school. Maybe I should just go ask Lexi when she got off work. She was cute, and she seemed to think that I was too. I quickly swiped through half a dozen potential dates without even really checking their profiles too closely. No need to limit myself right out of the gate, I could narrow things down later.

Almost immediately I got a notification for a match. The girl looked pretty hot—her picture showed off a nicely tanned body in a very small swimsuit. I liked what she was showing off, and wouldn’t mind seeing the rest of her either. I sent her a message.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

“hey cutie ;-) how tall r u???”

I immediately unmatched her. I was pretty sure that at 6’3” I met whatever her height “requirements” were, plenty of girls seemed to be pretty hung up on a guy being at least 6’ tall for whatever reason, but I had no interest in dealing with a girl like that. I didn’t care if people had certain tastes or preferences in physical qualities for the opposite sex, I sure had them myself, but to turn it into a make-or-break issue right off the bat seemed pretty shallow and shortsighted. I may have a thing for redheads but I wasn’t going to close off the possibility that my soulmate was a blonde or brunette. Plus, as a teacher, the inability to even spell out the words “are” and “you” was a major turn-off as well, no matter how hot she was. I quickly had three other matches and sent them messages, but there was no immediate reply. Luckily for me, my burger finally arrived, so I set my phone down on the bar and dug in while signaling to Steve that I would like a refill on my beer.

I made it halfway through the rather large burger before my phone buzzed again. None of the girls I had messaged earlier had responded, but I had a new match, and surprisingly, she had messaged me first.

Riley: “Usually I go for smart guys, but I guess I could settle for a hot one.”

I almost laughed out loud right there at the bar.

“What makes you think I’m not a smart guy, too?”

“Too hot to be any smart. Just wouldn’t be fair if you were.”

I tapped out of the messages to check Riley’s profile. For a girl who was saying it wouldn’t be fair to be both smart and hot, she was pretty damn hot herself. Her pictures showed off long blonde hair that fell down behind her in perfect waves, blue eyes that quite literally shined, and looooong toned and tan legs that led up to a very nice ass that had to belong to some sort of athlete or a dancer. In fact, one of the pictures showed her doing quite an impressive split leap on the beach. Definitely a dancer. And her bio was funny too:

A witch turned my family into pigs and said she would only turn them back if I broke the hearts of 100 men. I’ve broken 99 so far. Please, help me save me family.

I had to admit, I was already pretty smitten. She seemed interested in me as well, or at least in my looks. To be fair, my profile hadn’t given her much else to work with yet.

Ryan: “Quite the claim from a woman as beautiful as you. Are you saying you’re not any smart either?”

“Oh, no. I’m very smart.”

“So why isn’t it fair for me to be both hot and smart but it’s fine for you?”

“I’m a woman. We’re allowed to be unfair.”

“Touché. So how do I prove that I’m more than just another hot guy?”

“What’s 8x12?”

“Wow, are standards really that low these days?”

“Just answer the question, dummy.”

“96.”

“You probably used a calculator. What’s the capital of South Carolina?”

“Columbia. I can do this all night.”

“You probably just googled it. Who is the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court?”

I laughed at that one. Not that I wouldn’t have known the answer anyways, but I had taught Government as one of my classes last year.

“John Roberts. You know, there’s a way for you to verify that I’m not cheating on these questions.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?”

“Come meet me in person.”

She didn’t reply immediately, and for a minute I was worried I might have pushed things too fast.

“Okay. But first, who’s your favorite poet?”

That one surprised me. I was lucky my mother was an English teacher and had raised me with a fair bit of poetry, because I didn’t think I ever would have gotten into it on my own if it wasn’t for her.

“Probably Hopkins. Maybe Housman.”

“Wow, okay. Wasn’t expecting you to actually have an answer. Send me one.”

I thought for a moment of what to send. I wished I could just recite one from memory, but I wasn’t at that level of poetry knowledge. I quickly searched out one of my favorites and copied a section.

“I have desired to go

Where springs not fail,

To fields where flies no sharp and sided hail

And a few lilies blow.

And I have asked to be

Where no storms come,

Where the green swell is in the havens dumb,

And out of the swing of the sea.”

“Not very romantic, is it?”

“Hey, you didn’t ask for a love poem.”

“Fair enough. Where should I meet you?”

I resisted the urge to tell her “my apartment” and instead just gave her the name of the restaurant. She told me that she would be there in about thirty minutes. I considered getting another beer while I waited, but ultimately decided against it. I’d already had two large ones, and I figured Riley might want to have a drink or two when she got here. I didn’t want to get too far gone. Speaking of already having two large beers, I realized that I should probably make a trip to the bathroom before Riley arrived, so I did just that.

When I got back to the bar I did my best to remain calm and not overthink things. For whatever reason I already really liked this girl and I didn’t want to screw things up before I actually had a chance to get to know her. This was my first attempt at putting myself out there again after my breakup and it would probably set me back pretty hard emotionally if I screwed it up. To calm my nerves I decided to search for a more romantic poem in case she wanted another.