Chapter 19

After telling Alexa my story, she looked like her brain couldn’t process all the information I had given her, and then she squealed and said, “God! That sounds so exciting and awful at the same time. You’re telling me that a stranger could come up to you, ask you to do something, and you would do it?”

“Yes. Well, that’s the consensus Nicole and my mother have reached.”

“But, you’re not completely sure about it?”

“Many of the things Nicole said seem to fit the bill, but when people ask you to help them, with little stuff, like carrying a bag for them or helping them with their homework ... Wouldn’t you do those things?”

“Depends, if I have time for it, sure. But when I’m busy with my own stuff, then no.”

“See, that’s one of those things I know I can’t do. I have helped fellow students with stuff while I needed to work on a paper. This often meant that I had to work through the night to get my own work done.”

“Hmm, and did anyone ever ask something sexual from you, and you just did it while you didn’t like it.”

“Yes and no. My ex-boyfriend sometimes asked me to do things I would have never considered doing, but when asked, I did them. I always like doing things for others; it makes me feel good.”

“So, if I would ask you to eat my pussy, right here, right now, you would do that?”

“Are you asking?” I said teasingly.

“Yes.”

I bit my lower lip, looked at my friends, and started slipping off my chair to sit on my knees.

“Stop! Stop!” Alexa quickly said. “Get up; I don’t want you to do that.”

I looked up at her and asked, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure!”

I got up from the floor and sat back next to her.

“Damn, it’s true; you would have really done that! Don’t you feel shame?”

“I do.”

“And just now?”

“Yes, but also very excited about what I would do for you.”

“Anita, I think Nicole is right about you.”

“I think she is, yes,” I said, sighing.

“Aren’t you afraid people will abuse you if they learn this about you? Maybe you shouldn’t just tell anyone about your condition; it gives them too much power over you.”

Again, I had to think about it. While I had considered it before, my cute Goth friend made a good point about not telling others about it. Giving them this knowledge could get me into troubles I could avoid. “You’re probably right,” I said. “Maybe I shouldn’t tell people about it.”

“Probably? Maybe? No, for sure! If I was you, I would never tell this to anyone. If they figure it out on their own, too bad, but else, never tell anyone that you can’t say ‘no’ to stuff. They will for sure abuse you.”

I looked at Alexa and started to smile. “Thanks! We have only met, and you are already looking out for me. Really ... thank you!”

She smiled back at me and said, “It’s okay. That’s maybe how my brain is wired. It’s probably also why I dress as a Goth and don’t follow the rest of the pack. I often don’t like what I see around me and want to protest and help people who are being abused or mistreated.”

“That makes you a very nice person,” I said. “I would like to count you among my friends.”

She smiled and said, “I was thinking the same.”

She surprised me by hugging me tightly. When she pulled back, she said, “I think I needed this even more than you did.”

“Why? Aren’t you happy?”

“I am, but I still haven’t found the right friends.” She looked at her friends with my friends and said, “They are fun to be with but too passive, and they have a too dark view of the world. I want to change it, not just look at it and complain about it.”

“Well, you should try to find more politically engaged people. Or, volunteer with a charity that helps people.”

I got a massive smile from Alexa, and she said, “I have been thinking about joining a charity that helps abused women. Maybe I should do it.”

“You really should! I’m sure you will feel better helping people than just protesting against society by dressing up like something you aren’t.”

“Anita. You’re much smarter than I thought. Don’t take this the wrong way, but when I saw you in my parent’s restaurant, I thought you were just this kinky bimbo. A girl with no mind of her own who was just being abused by all those supposedly friends sitting there with you. But now that I have gotten to know you and know the motivations behind what those guys are doing for you, I think they are much nicer than I gave them credit for, and you aren’t a bimbo at all. You’re just a smart girl whose brain makes her do things she cannot control.”

Again, I couldn’t help but smile at her while I said, “Thanks for the compliment ... I think.”

“I have only one question. The things you did in the forest, and now this. From what you said, you did those things without anyone telling you to do them. Why?”

“How Nicole explained it to me. I have the urge to act out my fantasies. I can keep them bottled down, but this could harm me. I can only tell you that I haven’t felt this good in years. It’s almost like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.”

“I’m happy for you!” Alexa said. “Feeling good in your skin is good, no pun intended. And if you can reach it by doing crazy shit like this, I would say that everyone should do it if they would feel better afterward.”