Chapter 13: Nervous on a Lazy Sunday

Melanie’s habit was to restrict her activities on Sundays to only two things. Playground time with her daughter, and laundry. The laundry room for the complex had a full complement of machines, and with long experience she knew when to time her visits to be sure there were washers and dryers available.

For the day, she made a conscious effort to focus on Amy, and not think about Jacob. At the park, she made an extra effort to let Amy get full use of every piece of equipment. She climbed with her on the metal and plastic fortress, clambered over the monkey bars, and they sat on opposite ends of the teeter totter. Melanie kept close enough to ensure her daughter’s safety, so the day could be special for her daughter.

For the first time, Amy was climbing high enough on the structures that a fall might hurt her, except that she was always safely in reach of her mother.

While her daughter napped, Melanie carried their loads of laundry back and forth, until everything was clean, folded, and put away.

At the end of the day, they had a quiet dinner, watched some age-appropriate television, and Amy was tucked in to bed and read her story by 8:00.

Opening her old laptop, Melanie was ready to read the next message from Jacob.

To: fourscars@beltwest.net
From: chary974@proton.me
Subject: Resolved

Sunday, January 29, 2023

Dear Melanie,

This is the fourth time I have started writing this message. I am feeling extremely anxious about moving from this emailing level to our next step using the telephone.

There are two Jacobs at the keyboard here. The intellectual Jacob is completely understanding of your wanting our connection to happen sooner, not later.

The shy, emotional Jacob? He is terrified.

What if you don’t like the sound of my voice? What if you lose all patience with my tortoise-like approach? What if you still resent me for barging into your life with the daycare money?

So, this is the sound of me winding myself into a state of paralysis.

And then I re-read your last. And I hear the sound of you being resolute. And, I gain courage, to overcome shyness, and to meet you. Starting on the telephone. “Get over yourself!” I say.

I think, the more I dither over this keyboard, the more grief I cause myself.

Since you have supplied your number, I will telephone you at 8:30 tomorrow night, Monday.

I’m hopeful we can continue moving forward together, beginning with that call.

Until then, with enormous intensity, I am

Thinking of You — 16 —

Jacob

Melanie, relieved, blew out a long breath and then shut down her computer.