Chapter 11: Back At Michael and Belinda’s House

After the second stop at White Castle, the drive to the southwest outskirts of Kansas City was a regular Fart-O-Rama. We played music and the kids tried to fart along with the beat. We played another Godzilla movie and the kids would fart when he blew his fire breath or if they wanted to boo the bad monster. I was driving and was praying that the looks I got from my wives, especially Lynn, would not still be on their faces when we got to Michael and Belinda’s house.

About an hour before we got there, Blossom got on the phone to tell Belinda we were almost there and would supply dinner. Then she called in an order of pizza for the entire family. Erin actually suggested that we have my son and his family onto the bus to eat. But as we got closer it was apparent that the odor had not dissipated enough. Lynn even said that she was worried that the taste of the pizza was going to be overpowered by the aroma in the air.

I parked the bus in front of their house and deployed the levelers. The Herd disembarked, Scrabble boards and boxes of tiles in hand, and marched up to the front door to be greeted by Belinda along with Kayleigh, Diana, and Phillip.

“Hi kids, come on in!” Belinda said, smiling brightly. “Hi Lynn, Erin, Blossom. Hi Dad!”

“We brought the Scrabble boards, Phillip!” Margaret called to her nephew.

Phillip responded with a huge smile and, turning, he headed for the basement leading the Herd en masse. Belinda embraced Lynn, Erin, Blossom and then me, before we did the same with Michael. Blossom told Belinda about the pizza order and our darling Penelope Erin, being the last of the Herd through the door added her own touch to the story.

“Sister Belinda, can we eat the pizza in your house. We all farted up the bus pretty bad.”

“Really? I remember that Dad could drop some bad ones,” Michael said with a chuckle.

“Dad drops some? Michael O’Dell you’ve blown holes in your underwear!” Belinda added.

“I know what you mean, Belinda,” Erin said. “Paul blew out so many, he switched to wearing thongs!”

“TMI, Erin,” I complained, sort of.

“Really?” My big blond wife said. “We kind of think you’ve got a cute butt.”

“Erin! Keep my cute butt out of the conversation, please.” I tried to sound like I was upset, but I couldn’t hold my face straight.

“Dad, do you own a mankini?” Michael asked.

“No! I do not! And now I’m going to go and sit in the bus.”

I turned in faux disgust and headed for the door, only to be corralled by Lynn.

“Come on, Lover. You can pout downstairs with the other children.”

“Can I play Scrabble too?” I used my excited voice.

“Yes, as long as you promise to not get mad at them when they have bigger vocabularies and make better words.”

“Man, I’m just getting all kinds of beat up on.”

“Paul, if we didn’t love you, we wouldn’t even talk to you.”

“Ouch,” I said and kissed Lynn on the tip of her nose.

“Dad, come and sit with me. I’m not mean at all,” Belinda said comfortingly.

“Thanks Belinda, I think I’ll do that.” I followed my daughter-in-law into the kitchen and was, in turn, followed by my wives.

Shortly after sitting in the kitchen, Blossom’s phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Pizza delivery.”

“Oh! Good. Are you by the bus?”

“Yes.”

“Well come to the front door of the house it’s parked in front of. I’ll meet you there.”

Blossom got up and with a wicked grin, waved to Erin for help. Erin giggled and ran after our little Latina wife.

“Oh no,” I said shaking my head.

“What’s wrong, Dad?”

“Belinda, your mother-in-law is going to flash her tits at the pizza delivery guy.”

“Really?” was barely out of her mouth when she took off running for the front door. Michael sat there and looked at me.

“Does she do that often, Dad?”

“I don’t really know. We all walk around the house naked all the time. We keep sweatpants and shirts by the front door, but I’m never sure what she may be wearing when she opens the front door.”

“Helluva tip,” Michael said.

“Helluva tit!” I answered.

“You boys and your toys,” Lynn said.

“Well, Mom,” Michael said with a smile. “I enjoy looking at all women’s toys, Erin’s toys maybe more than usual, but I wouldn’t trade them in for Belinda’s. You know what? Since she released me from my vow, Belinda and I’ve grown so close. I would never have imagined it just a few days ago.”

“Belinda, have you and Mike had the talk about the marriage date?” Lynn asked.

“Yeah, sort of. When are you guys going to be leaving for Boise?”

“Probably in a few days. We still have some sightseeing to do that we didn’t get to do when we went to Beth’s house.”

Just then the two giggling women returned to the kitchen. Erin’s huge, bare, tits resting on the top of the two pizza boxes she carried. Their weight should have crushed the box top onto the pizza inside. Blossom set her stack of boxes down on the counter and paused to take a few breaths.

“That guy must have been a real tit man. I swear that as soon as Erin let the girls loose, he popped a huge boner!”

“Erin, you need to stop doing that,” I admonished. “Can you imagine the lawsuit if a delivery guy were to be a senior citizen making a little extra money and you gave him a heart attack?”

“Sweetie, you worry too much. But if it will make you happy, I’ll only do that at home where the delivery guys know us and come for the show.”

“Sweetie, you be nice, or you’re going to sleep in your seat instead of our bed tonight,” Erin’s now bald wife warned.

Erin immediately straightened up and put her tits back in her bra and then pulled her shirt down over the bra.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Well, that calmed things down really fast,” Michael said.

“Oh yeah. Not being able to sleep in the same bed with my spouses is the worst thing I can imagine,” Erin explained.

“You know what, mom?” Michael said smiling at his huge-titted mother-in-law. “I understand completely. Before Belinda released me, we slept together. Now we sleep TOGETHER! I never thought I could be...”

“Happy? Happier? Happiest?” Erin rattle off with a giggle.

“No ... fulfilled. When I came home from Afghanistan and I was no longer around my soldiers, I always felt like I was empty. Now, I feel like I’m always topped off.”

“That’s beautiful, Mike. And I know exactly how THAT feels. Our marriage is far from normal, but I know each of us feels that way. When your dad went missing for that year, we were so lost and empty. My babies were born without their father there. I don’t ever want to feel that way again.”

“How do you feel about dealing with a ton of hungry Scrabble players?”

Blossom had been standing there listen as she moved the pizza’s around the countertop. She smiled at her wife and her son-in-law.

“Sorry, Baby. Mike and I were having a moment.”

“I know. And I understand. When I came back from Texas, I was scared to death that I was going to lose the love of my life and instead I found a whole family and a lot of love. Now, our babies need pizza to fuel their Scrabble genes.”

“Are we going to carry it down?” Michael asked.

“Heck no!” Erin said. “Scrabble isn’t a video game that you can’t walk away from. Plus, you just watch Margaret Erin. When she comes up, she’ll be looking all over to get ideas for words. I’ll go get them.”

Erin walked to the top of the stairs going to the lower level and called out.

“Pizza is ready!”

The Herd came alive, led by Phillip, of all people. The kids stormed the kitchen and Belinda’s kids froze. Lynn had removed her wig, I guess she was feeling right at home, and the kids had never seen her bald head.

“Grandma? What happened to your hair?” A clearly distraught Diana asked.

Lynn quickly placed her hand on her bare head, forgetting that she’d taken off the wavy-haired, red wig.

“Oh my. I’m sorry to shock you Diana. I had cancer when I was younger and the medicine they used to treat me caused me to go bald forever. Do you mind? I can put my wig back on if you want.”

Diana came closer for a look and Lynn sat in one of the kitchen chairs.

“You can touch it if you want.”

Diana reached out and gently stroked Lynn smooth head.

“It’s so smooth. Is all your hair gone?”

Lynn blushed a little. “No. The medicine took all the hair from my waist up. I have no hair on my arms, but I still have to shave my legs, like your mother.”

“Do you shave your kitty too?”

“DIANA!” Belinda said, shocked at the question.

“No, Diana, it would make your Grandpa very upset. He loves my kitty.”

“MOM!”

“Belinda! It’s not a bad question. Remember, you are going to start getting these kinds of queries and you’re going to need to be be ready for them. Answer them simply and honestly. If the questioner needs more embellishment, they’ll ask another question. The Babies seem to work best that way.”

“This is going to make me crazy.”

“I’m sorry if I made you crazy, mother. Can I still have pizza?”

Come here you goof!” Belinda gathered her youngest daughter up in her arms and hugged and kissed her and then tickled Diana until she was a wiggling mess in her arms. Then she released her and patted her on the bottom.

“Go! Eat pizza!”

By this time the Herd was lined up politely behind Belinda’s kids. Kayleigh, Phillip and Diana each took a paper plate off the stack that had been placed on the counter and each took two slices of a different type of pizza. They waited for their aunts and uncles to get theirs and then they headed back to their Scrabble game, each saying “Thank you” as they left.

“I’m still amazed at how your kids perform like a well-oiled machine,” Mike said.

“I’m amazed that it’s already rubbed off on our kids,” Belinda said.

My eldest son froze in place and looked at Belinda. I patted him on the arm as the tears formed in his eyes.

“They ARE my kids, aren’t they.”

“Yes, Mike. And soon yours in name too,” Belinda hugged him as she spoke.

“Bel, we never spoke to them about adoption,” Mike said quietly. “Are they gonna be OK if Boomer’s last name isn’t theirs?”

“I have a solution for that, if you don’t mind,” Belinda said ready to set out the plan she’d thought about since Mike came to live with her.

“Do you guys need to have this talk in private?” Lynn asked.

“No, mom. If this is as important as I think it’s going to be, I think it’s good for my dad and moms to be here.”

“Moms? Son, I can think of millions of things that I’d never hear you say, but that was never on the list.”