Chapter 28

I woke, gasping for breath, with my heart racing, my dick achingly hard, and the familiar headache blossoming from the back of my head. Despite a sense of panic, I was able to will myself to relax. Little by little my symptoms receded until I had returned to normal and crisis was averted.

I realised I’d just dodged a pretty large bullet. My erotic dream had involved Carlie Edgeway. I hadn’t consciously considered her in a sexual way because she was more than twice my age but she wasn’t unattractive, despite her limp. However it would have been no laughing matter to end up an uninvited arrival in my lawyer’s bed. I didn’t even know her relationship status; if she had a partner, we might have ended up with all three of us in the same bed!

As my mind churned away, I wondered whether something good had just happened. Previously I had woken from an erotic dream about Brenda Rodgers, but it had been past the point of no return and I’d ended up in her bed anyway. But this time I had woken up just in time. Was my subconscious learning to protect me against sleepwalking due to erotic dreams? My problem would be a lot less scary if I could depend on only sleepwalking when I chose, not that I could think of any circumstances in which a girl or woman would be glad to have me arrive that way. Except perhaps Sam Allardyce, if she was alone and her dad was away working on an oil platform.

I really felt I needed to talk the situation through with someone with experience of my sort of situation, but that was probably a population of zero. I decided I needed to trust Janey with more of my story; I certainly owed it to her for having my back. But she was still a child, not yet a teenager, and I couldn’t imagine her not being grossed out.

I was woken by a gentle rap on my door. “Jon, I’m just about to leave for work. Are you okay?” Sandra asked, once I’d invited her in. “You usually get up and have breakfast with me.”

“Sorry, I woke up from a bad dream last night and it took me a while to get back to sleep again.” I’d kept Sandra’s knowledge of the details of my sleepwalking to a bare minimum and she wouldn’t have a clue about the ramifications of my erotic dream. “I’ll get up now.”

“There’s no need, I was just about to leave,” she replied. “I’m used to men staying in bed while I go to work. At least you pull your weight.”

I got up anyway and had a solitary breakfast then set about doing the chores.

Ms Edgeway’s phone rang. I silently answered it.

“Hello, hello, is anybody there?” came a voice I recognised as Mrs Thomas’s.

“Hello, it’s Jon. I wait until I know who’s calling before I say anything. Ms Edgeway thinks that’s a sensible precaution.”

“I was going to call earlier but I had to wait until Dex was out of earshot. He keeps asking about you. He thinks you’re still at a sleep clinic.”

“Thank you for keeping my secret.”

“You’re welcome. FreshFields was on the news last night so people are going to start putting two and two together. Anyway, Carlie called me and asked whether I’d mind ferrying you to her office on Monday. Apparently there’s something she needs you to listen to.”

“Uh huh,” I agreed, not sure how much Ms Edgeway would have told her.

“I’ll pick you up about half past nine again, if that’s okay.”

“That’s fine, thank you. I’m not sure how I can ever repay you for helping me like this.”

“You deserve it. You found my wedding ring and now you’ve taken down a major drugs syndicate.”

I didn’t bother to protest that the latter was unintentional.

After the call ended, I decided not to start the second Russian doorstop novel in case I didn’t have enough time to finish it before my future was sorted out. Instead I focused on Sandra’s medical textbook: it was unlikely I’d have time to read it end-to-end either, but what I did read might prove useful in the future.