Chapter 3

It is ... It is I ... the great magnificent ... transformo ... bleh.

Let’s not lie to ourselves me. Last time went beyond just a failure and a pain or a scar and was atrocious. An Atrocity. The taste and experience will never leave me and I don’t think I’ll be able to so much as look at panties or a girl’s vagina again without having a panic attack.

Truly, the world has proven you can overdose on anything.

Even going to the bathroom nearly caused me to freak out. Truly, I have been scarred from this experience nearly permanently. If I hadn’t managed to throw myself into the washer a few times ... I don’t even want to imagine it...

But. But. But.

THAT. SHALL NOT STOP. THE GREAT MAGNIFICENT TRANSFORMO!

Truly, my biggest mistake has become clear to me! The pure and utter lack of reconnaissance! That’s why I have chosen something safe, innocuous and innocent for my next transformation and surveillance. Something that can not possibly backfire! It in no way interacts with a female body at all! After all, if I had merely thought through or paid attention before Samantha came home, I would’ve known she had a beautiful sis- Brother! A completely normal, average, not beautiful at all brother named derek! And if I had merely gotten into Maddie’s room for just a moment or even watched her for a second, I would’ve seen what fate awaited me as her underwear ... Truly, gross. I was not the only discarded and suspiciously wet panties in that room...

Thus, what I have chosen to become this time is! An anime figurine!

Now now, hypothetical readers of my brain, I can feel your extreme confusion and doubt. Why, and beyond that, how is an anime figurine not suspicious?!

Well the answer to that is simple.

Tifa is a massive anime Nerd.

Truly, her own degeneracy knows no bounds! Posters, shelves full of figurines, miniatures across many clutter boards, and other things that are alien even to me. Like, why are there weird beads on the bed? And I can’t fathom what anime made a weird tentacle thing like that.

Anyway! All I need to do is carefully place myself on this shelf. It’ll take cunning! It’ll take daring! It’ll take ... about 5 seconds of my time really. The angle really wasn’t that hard to position surprisingly.

Safe! Now, the next 6 hours may unfortunately be extremely boring as...

“I can’t believe they called a school day. It’s barely even snowing! What a lousy college...”

A voice! Wait, that’s Tifa’s voice! What’s she doing back already?! Wait, no, no this is good. Actually, what was I thinking? If she hadn’t returned when she did, I would’ve just spent 6 hours doing absolutely nothing! Thank god that didn’t come to happen.

Now, now I am ashamed to say this my hypothetical readers but I had become a little bit ... conditioned, after my two previous impairments. I uh, I expected something to go horribly wrong nearly immediately. But. But.

But no! Nothing like that happened. Honestly, it was perfectly, amazingly, almost blessfully boring. She just sat down and played some anime games for an hour and then started playing some clicker idle game. That, that was it. No weirdly attra- weird brother suddenly coming to stay or visit. No disgusting room with piles of soiled underwear lying around. Just a girl playing some normal games and watching some normal anime. I admit, after 2 hours, it was almost kind of relaxing.

That was of course when things decided to go wrong.

She got up and started to look at her different anime figurines ... who does that?! Doesn’t everyone just keep them on the walls like posters and never actually look at them in detail?! But no, she was cleaning them, dusting them just a little bit, etc. Eventually her gaze fell upon me and I had a clear look as her eyes narrowed. It suddenly occurred to me that maybe one of my problems was constantly becoming items that make all the women around me into powerful skyscraper like mythical titans that could crush me in one hand. Perhaps next time I’ll become a freaking fridge or a house or something.

As I felt her gaze upon me, she recognized me. Or well, at the very least, she recognized I was new and different. This was all over! Would she destroy me or wait no, this is no time to freak out. It’s not like she’ll randomly throw me away, that’d be ludicrousy.

“I don’t remember getting this one ... should I throw it away?”

NO!!!!!

“Ha, yeah, that would be the day. But really, where did I get this one? I don’t remember it at all...”

Suddenly, in a sensation I was fast growing use to and equally starting to greatly hate for what it foretold, I was in a giant woman’s hand and pulled up to the sky. I was a basic figurine, nothing really too special. I had my hands at my sides and my basic casual clothes on. Honestly, now that I think of it, I looked less like an anime character and literally like a guy who had turned himself into a figurine...

“It’s just too bland looking ... it could really be from any anime.”

Oi.

“Huh, are these clothes detachable?”

Are they?! What?!

Oh no. I hadn’t even considered but so far, what have I become? A bar of soap, panties, and briefly a book by accident but let’s not talk about how boring those hours spent were. None of those were things that actually had clothes. So far my clothes had just been ... away? They were just gone. They weren’t even soaked from the shower or the ... other ... thing. But now these are my actual clothes on my body, just turned into figurine clothes. Oh that’s not good.

She started taking them off. Anime figurine clothes aren’t like normal clothes of course. They don’t get pulled off like cloth. They’re plastic. They snap off. In seconds, my clothes had been snapped off and I was staring at a giant woman while I myself was naked and exposed. And to make matters worse...

“Holy shit. It’s got an erection.”

... I had gotten an erection right before my transformation. I couldn’t help it, okay?! I was going to become a fly on the wall of a girls bedroom, watching her and seeing what her life is like ... everyone knows that type of thing is really attractive! But now, now it may come back to bite me as my erection transferred over. They say it’s bed to have one for more than 4 hours, but hopefully 6 hours would be fine ... and that she doesn’t break me out of disgust because of it...

But no, those eyes were practically sparkling.

“A nsfw male figurine! These are so hard to get! They almost always sell out immediately and finding half way decent one’s? Fat chance. How on earth did I manage to get a hold of this? This is perfect! I’ve always wanted to paint one of these!”

... paint? Uhh, what do you mean paint?

I soon found myself flying through the air and landing on a table. There was a “base” that part of me but it honestly didn’t really feel like it was a part of me. In front of me sat Tifa, giantess that she currently was to me, and she soon brought out ... paint and paintbrushes. Right, painting figurines and miniatures is something people do. I mean that’s, uh, alright I guess? I mean painting seems fine right?

“Let’s make you a demon king!”

Or not...

I felt as she began with my hair. It was weird as my hair was a lot more solid than hair has any right to be. She was painting it white. It didn’t really feel like much. It actually kinda reminded me of that one time I decided to dye my hair. May those memories be forever forgotten. It wasn’t a short period of time. Judging by how long it took, I had a serious worry that I might have to stay past 6 hours. That would not be good.

But still, this wasn’t so bad right? Sure, it’d be a pain to get all this paint off me later but still, a hair day and whatever? That’s okay. Just, weird, right?

She eventually decided she was done and then literally grabbed a blow dryer and dried the paint on me with it. Afterwards, she got a much much smaller brush and dabbed some red paint on it.

“Now for the eyes.”

My eyes?

MY EYES!!! THEY BURN!! She had poked me in the eyes with the red paint brush and was coloring in them! It felt like someone had jammed a red hot poker briefly into my fucking eyes! What the fuck?! MY EYES. It only got worse because I painfully, awfully, realized I had not one, but two eyes.

Finally, finally the pain of having someone poke and brush my god damn eyes with paint had ended. I had never been so happy in my life to feel the paintbrush dry it. Is that what pepper spray feels like? GAH! I’d be crying and blinded if could. That was, that was bad.

Soon though, soon, she came back with yet another new brush. This one pure black in color. I was more than wary of it, worried she was going to go for my God Damn Eyes again. But no, she just started with my face. She was painting my skin abyss midnight black? Well, I guess that’s, kinda okay? A bit cringy to become a pretty boy anime demon king but whatever. As long as she leaves my eyes alone!