Chapter 8: Jean Lafitte

I woke up still exhausted. I was alone in the hotel bedroom. I looked at the clock, waiting a moment for my eyes to focus. It showed 6:30. NO! I was supposed to be up at five! I jumped up. Kelly and Penny were gone! Our suitcases were gone! Other than my shoes and clothes, the room was empty. I went to the bathroom to take a ferocious piss and looked in the mirror. I looked, and felt, like a war crimes victim.

I had rope burns on my wrists and ankles. There were bite marks all around my nipples, several hickeys on both sides of my neck, my belly and crotch area was covered with dried bodily fluids, and my hair was a mess. Every muscle from my neck to my ankles ached. Was that? Yup, two different colors of lipstick, all over my face, thighs, and chest. I showered, combed my hair quick, and threw on what remained of my clothes. My boxers were in the trash. Kelly had cut them apart with a sword! I was still tired, but I didn’t feel hung-over. WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON?

I took a step into the suite living room, and saw my daughter Cindy sitting quietly watching tv. She looked up and smiled. “Momma said to bring you to the trailer when you woke up. Her and Kelly are over there, packing stuff up.”

She took me by the hand and virtually dragged me the two blocks there. I wondered, “Isn’t 15 a little old to hold your parent’s hand?” I was confused, because as we walked outside, the sun was going down. The clock had said 6:30? Wait! That’s EAST! The sun was COMING UP! I was shocked to understand I had slept OVER HALF A DAY!

Our suitcases were sitting on the sidewalk outside the trailer. We walked in as Penny closed the last of four new suitcases. They still had price tags on them. Kelly smiled and greeted us, “Right on time, Rip Van Winkle! I’ll have the shuttle pick us up. Do either of you girls have any problems with flying?”

Penny said, “Neither of us have flow anywhere before.”

Kelly reassured them, “It’s kind of fun. I think you’ll like it.”

I scratched my head in confusion. I was still a little groggy from my extended sleep. “Flying? Where are we going? What’s going on?”

Kelly chuckled a bit. “Don’t you remember? You two are getting married! We’re going to the Pirate Queen’s Castle!”

I still didn’t get it and asked, “Huh?”

“A ship captain can only marry people at sea! If you want to be married by the Pirate Queen, it has to be on her castle!” I still didn’t fully understand, but trusted her and played along. On the plane I looked over at Kelly, still confused and wondering. She said, “I’ll explain it again in Miami. Just get a nap.”

After half an hour staring out the window, Cindy tilted over toward me, and fell asleep leaning on my arm. I followed her example. When I woke up, she was still leaning on me asleep. I thought, “Awh, that’s so sweet.”

In Miami a taxi took us from the airport to a marina. Kelly led us down the dock past a long line of boats. She jumped up and down and pointed; “There she is! There she is!”

The name on the back (STERN - STERN) of a large sailboat was being repainted. The workman moved away when he finished, and I read “SV PQ Castle” Maybe I’m an idiot, but I still hadn’t figured it out.

Kelly explained, “Sailing Vessel PQ Castle. The Pirate Queen’s Castle! I didn’t just sit around the house on my days off, I learned to sail. I just need to pass an exam and get 20 more hours’ experience, and I’ll have a 500 ton and below Ship’s Master license! I’ll be a real Captain! I hired an instructor for the next week to make sure I have it down pat. He’ll be here at five and once we’re in international waters, I’ll marry you two!”

Penny was amazed, “The boat is huge! It’s triple the size of our trailer! You own this!”

Kelly put her hand on Penny’s arm and said sweetly, “No, WE do.”

I was the obligatory spoil-sport. “Um, Kelly? You bought this boat YESTERDAY? Uh, how much?”

She answered with information that meant little to me, “Don’t worry, she was inspected last week. She’s a thirty-meter sail yacht, with the latest radar, autopilot, and satellite navigation. She’s got a reinforced glass and carbon fiber mast, and a spare, sleeps up to 18 plus crew of five, boutique galley, provision stowage for 90 days full up, twin diesels, and fuel bunkers for twelve hundred miles.”

“Um, yeah, how much?”

“About what we made last month. Don’t worry about it.” Finally, something that made sense! Kelly showed us around the boat a little and said, “Penny and I have a few things to do before we leave. Cindy is out of school today, so today she gets to be the teacher.” She handed Cindy a couple of small booklets, ‘Basics of sailing’ and ‘Safety at sea’.

Kelly continued, “It’s a big responsibility, being a teacher. I’m trusting you to make sure your daddy knows all of that when I get back!”

Cindy cutely saluted and said, “Yes, ma’am!”

Kelly and Penny were away most of the day and returned with a pizza with everything but olives. Our favorite! We ate and Cindy walked her around the deck showing her what she had taught me.

Kelly held my hand and said, “Come below, we have to get you ready!” Two of the dock workers brought the last of our bags, and finished loading food and supplies. Kelly ushered me down to a bedroom (Stateroom - Stateroom! Landlubber!) and took off my shirt. She traced her fingers around my nipples, where the bite marks were. She asked me, “You understand what you did to Penny, and why we did this?” I sadly nodded. “Then you won’t ever have to go through it again, because I know you’ll never hurt any of us.”