(You Just Thought You Knew)

An exhausted Santa landed his sleigh at the north pole late Christmas morning. He was so tired he almost staggered walking from the muddy, ice laden sleigh toward his house. He could see the warm light escaping from the snow and ice covered building, and even as tired as he was appreciated all the cheerful multicolored Christmas lights decorating everything in sight. The thought of some of Mrs. Clause’s wonderful cookies and several tots of eggnog caused his faltering steps to propel him forward slightly faster.

Santa never even looked back at the merry elves unharnessing the reindeer and pushing the dirty sleigh into its garage for cleaning and refurbishment after this, the last night of delivery for this holiday season. The reindeer gladly followed the elves into their barn and happily began munching on their meals while reveling in the brushes and warm, soapy water while the elves cleaned and massaged their exhausted bodies.

Just as Santa reached his door it flew open and Dorrie, one of his house elves smiled in greeting while stepping back and saying, “Welcome home Santa. Your bath is ready and the bathing room is nice and toasty warm for you.”

Santa reveled in the wonderful smells that wafted out the door to him just before he stepped into the house. Even after eating thousands of cookies and drinking untold glasses of milk, his mouth watered. Just inside the door stood a smiling Butler Elf, Jeeves. Santa unfastened his heavy coat and handed it to Jeeves as he walked by, heading for a much needed bath, longing for a long hot soak. He’d been dreaming of his soak since shortly after he took off the night before.

He entered the bathroom and quickly finished undressing, dropping his soiled clothes on the floor. When he stepped into the tub and sat down, the just-right water temperature immediately felt hot, then, after he acclimated, perfect and relaxing. “Ahhhh,” he whispered. It would be so easy to go to sleep in the oh so comfortable tub.

Santa had barely leaned back before Mrs. Claus bustled into the room carrying a tray with fresh, hot cookies and his eggnog. She sat the refreshments on the table beside the soaking tub and seated herself on a nearby chair. After carefully smoothing her skirts she asked, “Did you have a good run tonight, Dear?”

The not-so-jolly gentleman slowly turned his head to look at Mrs. C before he answered, “I suppose. It’s been a long season and I’m exhausted. It becomes more difficult every year. The world’s population keeps growing and growing. I don’t know how much longer I can keep going. We only have a week a year off now. Every elf in the country is working for us and we barely keep up with demand. What will we do when they can’t keep up? How will the children get their presents when I can’t keep up?”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something dear. You always do. Look how much easier your night is since you began the year around delivery schedule.”

“I know. I shudder to think about trying to deliver all those gifts on Christmas Eve like we used to. My magic reservoir is almost depleted now as it is. I don’t think I could do that now just because of the magic depletion. It’s bad enough having to magically hide the early deliveries until Christmas Eve. Adding the spells to have the gifts follow people that move after delivery just depletes my magic worse, then, of course, I have to add a spell that returns gifts for those unfortunates who pass on during the year. And we don’t want to forget the spells to convert gifts to lumps of coal for the bad boys and girls. I’m just exhausted. Like I said, I don’t know how much longer this can go on.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll figure something out dear. You always do. You’ll feel much better after our vacation. I’ve found such a wonderful place for us this year. We have an entire week on a small, secluded island in the South Pacific. The bungalow has a wonderful pool, a hot tub and a sandy beach just a few steps away. I’m sure it’ll rejuvenate and revitalize you. Now, don’t be long and don’t spoil your appetite with too many cookies and eggnog. Cook says our feast will be ready soon.”

Mrs. Claus stood quickly and left the room while Santa leaned back with another sigh. He was almost asleep when Jeeves, efficient as always, entered the room with an armful of clothes. “Your lounging attire, Sire,” he said.

Santa groaned and reluctantly climbed out of the tub, taking the proffered towel from Jeeves. After he was dry Santa dressed and wandered toward the lounge to await his Christmas repast. Sometimes he wondered how he managed to eat all those cookies and drink all the milk left for him on Christmas Eve and still do justice to his Christmas Day repast. He was exceedingly thankful for all the help concerned parents gave him with that task. He fleetingly wondered if he needed to add a spell to the ones placed on the early deliveries to take care of the cookies and milk at those homes.

A short time later, Jeeves entered Santa’s lounge, closed the door and approached the rosy cheeked old man. He was carrying a freshly cleaned and pressed Santa suit and said, “Sir, it is time to dress for your celebratory meal. The elves are gathered and Mrs. Clause is waiting for you.”