I hate the holidays. I truly fucking hate them. Not because of my real friends and family. No, I love and treasure every moment with them, stress and all. No, it’s just a reminder of what I had to leave behind. For my own health and sanity, yes, but it still stings. I’m allowed to miss things that are bad for me, and that’s my blood family. And yet, around this time of year, intrusive thoughts batter me. And as much as they fucked me up and I hate how they made me feel, I miss them.

And that puts me in a mood. A common mood for me. I want to be hurt, wrecked, ruined, and destroyed. I want to be less. I need to be less. An animal, an object, something that people can enjoy making scream and bawl and cum. That’s what I need to reset myself. I call Jack and ask for suggestions on my Discord, wanting something new. Something that might sting more, because too many people are around right now. I can’t be made pretty. I can’t get a black eye or taste crimson.

I hold it together enough until dinner. It’s a rainy day so Jack and Tony get back at a decent time. The kids are happy to see him and their uncle. They don’t speak to me unless they have to. When the kids are in another room with Jack, Tony slaps the shit out of the back of my head, his fist kisses my gut, and I’m held against the wall. Fingering my soaking wet cunt, he spits on my face. Tells me not to wipe it away. I nod. They tag off. Jack strokes my face then slaps it, fingering me as he spits in my eyes. He tells me I’m not worth it and I’m already crying. He hits my gut several times, and I can’t even stand. I go to the bathroom to catch my breath.

As I’m holding my stomach, Tony comes in. Another slap to the back of my head as he spits on me. He fills my water bottle with his piss. Jack later will do the same. My only drink for the night. Both finish with a few squirts of piss in my hair, wiping any dribble off with it. I feed the family, setting aside my brats. I’ll eat later. They play with the kids, and Jack helps them bathe and go to bed. I kneel on the floor ignored. My stomach growls as cold piss swirls in my belly. No food for me until the kids are asleep. While they are put in bed, I go to the basement. I wait in the dark, head down, until Jack and Tony join me. My cold food is there and it’s time to eat. They fuck my face, alternating until both cum, squirting their seed on my foot, letting it congeal. I’m a drooling mess and my brats are sitting there, covered in spit and cum. Jack says my bread is too dry so he pours some of the cold piss from the bottle on it. I soak up the piss on the plate and eat my food. Randomly, while chewing, I get slapped. My cheek or the back of my head mostly. They talk, but not to me.

I finish my food without gagging much. Then I’m dragged to the bathroom. They slap mostly the sides and back of my head, their fingers and cocks ramming down my throat. I’m spit on and their cold urine is poured on my hair and face. Eventually, I’m heaving in the toilet, losing everything I just ate. The mess around my mouth is smeared all over my face as someone kicks my side. I’m sobbing. It feels good to cry. It feels good to feel something.