Chapter 45: Teenage Satisfaction

Saturday morning, I meditated on the patio early. No one else in the house appeared awake. When I awakened, Chris was still in bed with me, but Amber was gone. Later, I came out of my meditative trance with the words love and patience playing in my brain. I collected myself and went back in the house.

Inside, I found Janice puttering around the kitchen making breakfast for everyone and also specifically waiting for me to finish. She was laughing. I gave her a questioning look.

Janice said, “It seems that a certain teenager has fallen in love with a man about three times older than she is. She is a bit of a basket case wondering whether you’ll even deign to talk to her this morning.” She winked at me.

I chuckled, “I love Amber, and I’ll try to deal with her emotions and expectations. I did warn her, but I guess reality trumps the theory yet again. She was gone this morning when I got up.”

“She came and woke me up about five a.m. She was in a panic about everything in her life.”

“Where is she now?”

“I calmed her down and she fell asleep in my bed. Jared’s asleep there with his arms around Rene, and I don’t think either of them ever woke up to hear all the drama.”

Janice and I talked about Amber and how to best reassure her.

Janice said, “She also has another bombshell that she’d like to lay on you. I won’t say more, but prepare yourself for an unusual request.”

I thought about what that might be, but came up empty handed except for her wanting to come to Florida for a while. I wouldn’t mind her in Florida, but just as she would here, she’d have to share me with others.

Amber suddenly appeared at the doorway into the kitchen. She was stressed. I held my arms out to her, inviting her to come for a hug. She broke speed records running across the room and threw herself into my arms.

She sobbed, “Oh, Jim, I love you. I wasn’t sure whether you’d even want to talk to me today. I’m so young and inexperienced. I want to please you in every way I can, but I’m not sure I’m good enough for you. I have such wild feelings about being with you. I want to be your lover for the rest of time. I...”

I interrupted, “Amber, STOP! You’re in a panic, and there’s no reason to be that way. You are acting like a love-struck teenager and not an adult, and you need to back up a bit and put things into perspective – a realistic perspective based on everything you already know about yourself, your Family, me, and my Family. Nothing has changed since yesterday except your own outlook.”

Amber pulled away and looked at me in a worried manner. “What do you mean?”

“What’s the basis for your Family?”

“Errr, love, I guess.”

“And how large is your family? What’s the constellation like?”

“I have four parents instead of two, like most other people. Is that what you mean?”

“Yes. What do you know about me?”

“You live in a polyamorous relationship with Chris, and I heard you talk about Karen and Lynn and other women – like Rachel and Mel, and I think there were others.”

“There are others, and what’s that mean for you? You also read my book on Polyamory, right?”

“Yes, but what that means for me ... I’m not sure.”

“Should you expect an ‘exclusive’ relationship with me?” I put some emphasis on one word.

Amber thought about that and I continued to hold her in my arms. In a weak little voice, she said, “No, I guess not.”

“Right, but what can you expect?”

“I’m not sure I understand,” she said.

“Would you be willing to be one of the people that I love? Unlike many others, I can love more than one person at a time.” I tried to sound exceptionally proud of that fact. “So can you.”

“Oh, yes. Do you love me?” Amber sounded hopeful.

“Yes, Amber, I do. I love the adult you, not the insecure teenager. I don’t want you to hide that you’re feeling vulnerable because talking like this is how I’ll bring you back to the confident young woman that I made love with last night.”

She thought about that. Janice was watching us while trying to be an invisible fly on the wall. I got a positive nod from her, and even a look that indicated that she was impressed with what I was saying.

Amber was definitely calming and so I kissed her tenderly on the lips. The kiss obvious transported her to some other dimension in time and space, and then she returned. She just whispered, “Wow! You kiss really nice.”

“That’s because I love you. I put my love in my kisses for you.” I pulled her in for more solid hug.

“What do we do from here?” Amber asked.

“We each continue to live our lives, and from time to time we will be able to see each other, and if we feel like it, we can repeat last night, or if you’ve opted for more of an exclusive relationship with somebody else, we can revert to friend’s mode and not get all sexy.”

“Oh, God, last night was the best night in my life. The orgasms you gave me were a thousand times better than any I’d felt before, and you got me so worked up. Also, I fucked all the men in the house, and then played around with Chris in a sexual way. O. M. G. Do you think I’m the biggest slut you’ve ever known?”

I had to laugh. “No, Amber. I liked everything you did with me and with everybody else. Besides, I think that the letters in the word ‘slut’ stand for something admirable: ‘S’ is for sexy, ‘L’ is for loving, ‘U’ is for understanding, and ‘T’ is for tolerant – including being tolerant of yourself and how you accept the things you do.”

Amber said, “But I was such a wild person with you last night. I thought I’d become a slut.”

“Is your mother a slut?”

“God, no,” Amber said. She looked at Janice in horror at the thought.

I explained, “During the days before, I did everything I did last night with you, only with her. She responded in a similar way, too.”

“And you love her?”

“I do.” I added, “And I love the others in your Extended Family, too – men and women. With the women I’ve had sexual relations. With the men, I developed great friendships because I’m not inclined to play sexually with other men.”

I cuddled Amber to me and we were quiet for a couple of minutes. Janice put two cups of coffee on the counter near us.

Amber eventually pulled away, gave me a peck on the lips, and turned to her mother. “Let me help prepare breakfast?” Janice looked surprised at the request.

I also helped and soon, the aromas from the kitchen permeated the house and others started to join us. Amber was calm and cordial with everybody. She did, however, keep watching me as though I might suddenly and spontaneously combust and disappear. Thus, I found myself often nodding and smiling at her or complimenting something she did.

Saturday after breakfast, most of the adults went off in different directions, in a couple of cases taking the younger children off to soccer practice and other sporting events. Others had errands to perform.

Chris sat down at a patio table to organize and review some of her interview notes from the day before, and I set out to do the same. Instead, Amber joined me. I had expected the interruption.

Amber asked, “I fell in love with you. Is that all right?”

I kissed her forehead. “Yes, it’s wonderful, but I suspect it’s more of what people call puppy love – in other words, it’s a temporary infatuation with someone. We had very passionate sex last night. I loved it. However, many people confuse sex and love. They are strongly linked, especially in marital relationships, but there’s more to being in love than sex.

“Atop that is the confusion between lust and love. We were full of lust – strong sexual desire for each other. It has some of the same characteristics as love, such as intense longing, craving to be with the other person, and attendant pleasure. Lust is tilted more to sexual gratification, however, and frequently one’s own fulfillment sometimes results in forgetting about the wish for a deeper connection.

“In the case of lust, our bodies are full of sex hormones, and that’s especially true for younger adults. In the case of love, we have more dopamine and oxytocin in our system, creating a greater desire for attraction and bonding. I know this is confusing, at least it can be to even an older and more experienced person.

“The factor that usually resolves any confusion is time. Over time, if the attraction is all lust based, it will fade. If it is love based, it will persist and mature in beautiful and interesting ways.”

Amber said, “I guess I feel both about you then. I understand what you mean about time. Let’s see what happens.” She sounded very adult.

Amber sat looking at me and I knew there was something further she wanted to talk about.

“What else Amber? You want to ask me something?” I was tentative. I didn’t want to scare off the pretty young woman after seemingly getting everything on an even keel.

Amber started slowly. “Last night was very sexual and it was the highlight of my life. I’ll never forget you and what we did, and I hope it happens many more times, even today.

“I mentioned my best friend Tracy to you. I do love her and I know she loves me. We’ve withstood the test of time, as I told you. We’ve been this way for eight years.

I share everything with Tracy and she does with me. I think I explained that I have to tell her about what we did, but there’s something I want to offer her, and I hope you’re willing.

“I would like you to make love to Tracy just like you did to me. You were fabulous and I really want her to have a similar experience. So, will you?”

I was speechless, and I was caught totally by surprise. Janice had warned me that there was a ‘bomb’ coming my way, and this was clearly it. I stuttered for a moment, something like, “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

Amber became more like an enthusiastic teen that had an idea she really wanted to pursue. She started to tell me the reasons why this would be the best thing since sliced bread.

“Tracy knows everything about me, and I’ll be telling her all about last night, but more than that she knows everything about my Family – the Extended Family. We’ve had overnights together when we watched my moms and dads making love, even with their OSOs. Also, Tracy’s not a virgin, so you won’t need to feel any guilt or anything having sex with her. She’s just eighteen, like me. She told me her few experiences were kind of ho-hum, but she turned in her V-card many months ago and hasn’t been with anybody but me since.

“She has to find out from you just how great sex can be. I can be there with the two of you and I’d even prefer that. I’d love to watch, up close, and maybe participate a little before, during, and after.

“Oh, yeah, Tracy is really pretty – prettier than me, I think. She’s got better tits, too; large handfuls that are fun to suck on.” She thrust her cellphone into my hands, and there was a sexy photo of a bikini-clad teen posing for the camera beside the very pool where I sat. The young girl was a knockout, and definitely appealing.