Chapter 14

The morning was heavy. Well, emotions led everyone to feel heavy. We sat around the table in the kitchen and I spoke my peace, “It’s been a struggle and it has taken a toll on me mentally. I hate that it hasn’t happened yet but Warren and I are a couple. We are a family. We’ve decided to try some other options so I can get pregnant and nothing is off the table.”

His mother sat with her lips turned over. My mother touched my arm, “It’s okay sweetheart, we will support whatever decisions you and Warren make.”

“Thanks, mom.”

My father stood and hugged me, “Yes, sweetie, we will support the two of you any way we can.”

Warren looked at his mother who sat quietly, “As Jackie said, we want everyone’s support.”

She grumbled, “It’s your life and your family. Who am I?”

Warren huffed, “Come on mom, don’t be like that.”

She tossed up her hand, “No, no, no, everyone is mad at me. I’ll be the bad person.”

She was still upset that Warren told her that she had to apologize to me for her unkind words. I walked over to her and reached for her hands. Her eyes watered. I spoke to her kindly, “I love you.”

She stood and hugged me, “I’m so sorry Jackie. I don’t know what I was thinking. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to Warren. I love you too.”

I felt his arms around us. The morning suddenly felt lighter. It felt good to clear the air.

I loved Warren with my whole heart and I could talk to him about most things. However, there were times when I needed what I needed. A deep comforting conversation without feeling as if I had to guard my words for fear of being told I wasn’t being Godly enough. Those were the times I’d go away to be by the water and sit on the ground and watch the boats sail by on the sound.

I sent a text message to Kelly, “Can you talk?”

Immediately he responded, “Give me a second.”

Two minutes later, the phone rang and I answered. His voice made me relax instantly. It wasn’t often that I called to bend his ear but it was enough to make either spouse suspicious if they knew. “What’s going on?” he asked.

“Nah, not too much,” I replied which made him chuckle.

“That means you feel like the world is collapsing around you.”

“You know me all too well.”

“I know you better than I know my wife.”

I sighed and spoke my peace. I told him about my Christmas and all that transpired. I told him about my plans to get pregnant with medical help. He didn’t judge me. He listened and was supportive.

When he asked me about my relationship with Ro, I had to pause. I didn’t know the status of it. I decided if she didn’t put forth any effort to make things right, then I wasn’t either. My level of petty could exceed anyone’s if they wanted to go there.

“She still thinks we had sex on deployment,” I told him.

He chuckled, “Well...”

“Well, what?”

“I mean we almost did a couple of times.”

“Almost is not the same as you putting your cock inside of me.”

One night as we lay in bed talking, playfully, he rolled on top of me and looked down into my eyes. I felt his bulge pressing against my clit. He rolled his hips and few times, well, more than a few, until I gasped and felt my swollen clit pulsate. He leaned in to kiss me.

Things were heating up until I said, “No wait, we can’t do this.” He rolled off me and we looked at each other. There was never any penetration. I didn’t say I was a saint.

“You don’t know how hard it was for me to stop,” he said with sincerity, “God I wanted you so badly, Wilkes.”

“It’s Warren.”

“I know but to me, you’ll always be my Wilkes.”

After talking with Kelly, I made my way home. Warren was in the kitchen cooking. I kissed his cheek, and he looked at me, “So, I noticed you haven’t been hanging out with Ro much.”

It was a day before her birthday and I still had not heard from her. I shrugged and grabbed a glass from the cabinet. As I got some water from the refrigerator door, he looked at me, “I know y’all got into it.”