Chapter 20

Mrs. Russo was right. I was so hot from our conversation that I needed to masturbate. I could have gone home and did it in my own bed, but Mrs. Russo had dildos. They were better than my fingers. More importantly, when I did it in the Russo’s apartment I didn’t have to worry about my mother coming into my bedroom and catching me doing it. That was always in the back of my mind while masturbating in bed and it took some of the pleasure out of it. I wasn’t permitted to lock my bedroom door and was saved a few times simply by being underneath the blanket.

For a while, I used to lock myself in the bathroom and masturbate on the toilet, not that that was very comfortable. But my mother had noticed the frequent trips to the bathroom and the long time I spent in there so she had wanted to take me to the doctor. I had convinced her I was fine and didn’t have to go to the doctor. It’s a good thing because Dr. Weissman would not have found anything wrong with me. He might even have prescribed medicine, based on my long trips to the bathroom, that I didn’t need and could actually be bad for me. That meant I had to spend more time masturbating in bed than the bathroom. The only time I felt completely safe was when I took a bath with the bathroom door locked, but that wasn’t often enough.

In the Russo’s apartment, I didn’t have to worry about my mother discovering me and loved when I could use their bed. But today Mrs. Russo wasn’t offering me the privacy of her bed. She wanted to masturbate with me. As silly as that sounds after all that had happened, I felt uncomfortable doing it in front of her. It was such a personal thing to do.

Mrs. Russo put Suzy in the crib and then I followed her to her bedroom. She wore a white maternity top with red stripes and a red skirt. She often complained that she could no longer wear pants, that they didn’t design the waist for pregnant women with big bellies. I had come directly from school so I was wearing a blouse and skirt.

When we entered the bedroom, Mrs. Russo marched directly to her end table. I stopped about two feet into the room. After all we had done, after all we had talked about, why was I still embarrassed? Looking back, the answer was clear. I was sixteen.

Mrs. Russo turned and noticed me standing just inside the room. “Are you okay with this?” she asked.

I nodded. More of a hesitant one than an energetic nod. But she took it as a yes and opened the drawer. Mrs. Russo rummaged through the drawer and came out with the cylinder dildo. She held it out to me. I didn’t move.

“So you don’t want to do it,” Mrs. Russo said. “That’s okay.”

“It’s not that,” I said in a sheepish voice with my eyes lowered.

“Then what?”

“Um, I was wondering if I could use one of the others.”

Mrs. Russo’s face broke into a huge smile. “Sure. Come pick one out.”

I walked up to her and looked inside the drawer. There they were, in different colors and sizes. I had touched them many times when babysitting, examining them, but never in front of Mrs. Russo. She had told me that she washed them after each use, but it felt strange to touch something that had been inside her vagina while she was watching.

“Go on,” Mrs. Russo said, “I know you can handle them after fucking Don. Probably even the ones bigger than his dick, but for now don’t go overboard.”

I moved my hand toward the drawer, but pulled it back. Twice.

Mrs. Russo reached into the drawer, shuffled the dildos around, and took out a pink one in the shape of a cock. She kissed the small head and smiled.

“I call this one Pinky,” Mrs. Russo said. “It was my first so it has a special place in my heart.” She held it out to me. “Use this one...” she paused, “ ... or choose another. But be quick. I need to get off.”

Mrs. Russo pushed the dildos in the drawer around until she grasped a flesh-colored one. It was bigger than the one she had handed me, but not the largest. She yanked the bedcover down, not even taking the time to straighten it, and flipped her dildo onto the sheet. She then removed her blouse and let the skirt drop to her feet. Her belly was so big now that I wondered how she could even see the panties rolled down under it, but she shoved the panties down to her knees. She stepped out of the skirt, sat on the side of the bed, and kicked off the slippers she had been wearing. Then she removed the panties and tossed them on top of her skirt.

Mrs. Russo held out her hand. “Give me the K-Y, please.”

I was frozen watching her undress. Nothing seemed to embarrass her. I wished I could be like that. I guessed it was because I was still a little kid. I wanted to grow up so much and have the confidence Mrs. Russo had. I looked inside the drawer and took out the tube of K-Y jelly and handed it to her. It wasn’t in the box.

“Sorry, Julie, but I can’t wait,” Mrs. Russo said.

She squirted a large dollop of the jelly onto the head of the dildo and smeared it around and down the sides. She held the tube out to me so I took it and placed in on top of the end table. Other than that, I still couldn’t move. And I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her dildo. It was now slimy and I knew where it was soon going to be.

Mrs. Russo scooted to the side of the bed farthest from where I was standing—Mr. Russo’s side based on the contents of the end tables—and propped up a pillow against the headboard. She didn’t move around nimbly or too comfortably with her big belly, but she was soon sitting against the pillow with her legs straight out in front of her. She turned to me with a questioning look.

“Do I need to show you how to use Pinky?” she asked. “It’s just like the cylinder one.”

“Um, no.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

What was I waiting for? I had already agreed to do it. I placed the pink dildo on the bed and removed my skirt. Mrs. Russo was watching me, which made me uncomfortable, so I looked away. All she wore was her bra and socks so I wondered if I should take off my blouse. I guess it would have been odder to leave it on since hers was off, so I took off my blouse and stood in bra and panties. When I looked back at her, Mrs. Russo was still staring at me, but she had inserted the dildo inside her pussy and was unconsciously moving it in and out. With her big belly in the way, I actually couldn’t see that from where I was standing, but her arm movement gave it away, along with her breathing which had gotten deeper.

I sat down on the side of the bed and removed my shoes. Lifting my butt, I shoved my panties to my thighs. When I sat back down, I dragged them down my legs and took them off. Wearing only my bra and socks and nothing else, I was now dressed the same as Mrs. Russo.

I positioned the pillow on my side of the bed the way Mrs. Russo had the other one and picked up the pink dildo. I then bounced on my butt until I was sitting against the headboard next to Mrs. Russo. I looked straight ahead as I wrung the dildo with both hands. This wasn’t happening on the spur of the moment where I didn’t have to think about what I was doing. It was being orchestrated by Mrs. Russo.

“This feels so good,” Mrs. Russo said.

Her voice brought me out of my thoughts and I turned toward her. Mrs. Russo’s knees were now up and spread. Her hand was moving faster and I felt the mattress bounce with her rocking.

“Go on, Julie, I don’t want to do this alone,” Mrs. Russo said. She was panting slightly.

“I dug my chin into my chest to look at my crotch. I held the dildo up, positioned it in my hand so that it pointed downward, and brought it between my legs.

“Wait!” Mrs. Russo shouted.

I actually dropped the dildo. “What’s the matter?” I asked. “You said I can use it.”

“You forgot the K-Y.”

I felt like an idiot. Like an inexperience little kid. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. I reached for the tube of K-Y and squirted some on the pink dildo. After placing the tube back on the end table, I spread the jelly on the dildo like I had seen Mrs. Russo do. Once again, my mind remembered where the dildo had been as my fingers ran all over it. And then I thought that the next time Mrs. Russo used it, it would have been after being inside my pussy.