If only candles could talk, what tales could they tell!

Sara: Good morning, Lester.

Lester: Good morning, Sara.

Sara: So, shall we get down to it?

Lester: I’m ready if you are.

Sara: Candle Talk—this shouldn’t take long.

Lester: Right. I mean it’s only twelve words long. What can you say about twelve words?

Sara: Right. But there are two pictures. And you know what they say. A picture is worth a thousand words.

Lester: So we’re dealing with the equivalent of two thousand twelve words.

Sara: But do we have to deal with the pictures?

Lester: Maybe. But let’s put them aside for the moment. So we need to come up with three ratings. Plot. Technical. And appeal.

Sara: First I guess we could try to summarize the plot. Guy in bed, probably night time because the candles are being lit. And he apparently has this huge ... boner. Lester, how big would you say it is?

Lester: Eight inches maybe.

Sara: Impressive.

Lester: Do you think it’s the naked girl who’s aroused him? Or maybe he was asleep. Dreaming.

Sara: I don’t think there’s any way to know. I suppose we could ask the candles.

Lester: Very funny. Do you think that’s a shortcoming of the story?

Sara: Well, the girl seems to be lighting the candles. So my thought is that he was asleep when she came in. Could a boner spring up that fast?

Lester: Good point. So probably he was asleep. Having an erotic dream.

Sara: She certainly looks surprised at his condition.

Lester: Yeah, I think that’s an indication that she didn’t know he was that well-endowed.

Sara: Which indicates something about their relationship.

Lester: She’s not his wife. And clearly she’s not his mother. Could she be his daughter?

Sara: You’re suggesting some kind of father-daughter incest?

Lester: The story codes don’t say that. But incest is a very popular theme.

Sara: Skipping over that for a moment, we see that the candles have burned down.

Lester: But they must have been burning for a long time.

Sara: So you’re thinking maybe they got in on all night?

Lester: It seems likely.

Sara: How do you know she didn’t just walk out?