Chapter 3

Dora erupted from her seat, yelling, “That’s insane! We’re helping people! Doctor Korn, the antiviral works! It’s not a vaccine, it can’t prevent you from getting the virus in the first place. But we’ve come up with a cure for shingles, Hepatitis A and B, and probably C! Both viral meningitis and viral encephalitis! For the love of God, we’ve got a cure for AIDS, so it’s not a death sentence!” She slapped the table so hard I feared she’d break it.

“Miss Menendez!” Doctor Korn sharply replied, then in a different tone of voice, continued with, “Calm down, I’m on your side here. Everyone in this room is on your side.”

“How’d it leak out?” I asked.

Doctor Korn shook his head. “It’s not a leak, per se. They knew you were working on an antiviral. Hell, they were happy you were, because that gave them something to lord over the companies that didn’t stick around for the ‘No Regrets’ discussion. They simply figured it’d take you longer than eight months. The company that delivers animals for testing is a Pfizer subsidiary. Last week, your lab ordered a rush delivery of fifty monkeys, and then Tuesday ordered twenty-five ferrets. That told them you had to have something, if you were ready for animal testing. That’s when I got a phone call from Frank.” He turned to look at him.

“On the state level, they can operate without us noticing in Washington. But when they called their tame Congressmen to get a Federal judge involved, that gets noticed by the White House,” Frank explained. “Granted, stuff like that used to happen all the time before the Messenger showed up, and no one really cared. That was just politics. But, this is now, after the Messenger, and more importantly, it involves you. Don’t take this the wrong way, but there are a lot of people in Washington that don’t like you and the influence you have with our government. Fortunately, there are also people who do like you, and realize that you’re not a bad guy, you’re doing what you do for the benefit of all of us. That means that ... how do I phrase this? Ah, yes. Once the people who do like you learned – via technical means – what was going on, they contacted my boss, who contacted me and Elroy to get out here before the shit actually hits the fan.”

“Technical means? The FBI or NSA listening to phone calls. That’s fine, that also means they haven’t delivered the court orders yet, they simply have them,” I said.

John Ely nodded. “That is correct. We know about them, and we’ve got about four hours. It just so happens one of the people that works in the state judge’s office is a Stanford law school graduate, and somehow or other, he or she ended up sending an anonymous fax to my office with the contents of that order.”

“We’re not worried about the Federal court order, actually,” Elroy said. “Damn pesky thing, when you’re married to another Federal judge and are on a first name basis with every member of the Supreme Court. It also doesn’t hurt that two of the current justices happen to be Stanford alumni, with one of them being the Circuit Judge for the Ninth Circuit. I’ve already got a signed document in my folder from Sandy ordering a stay on that, even before it’s delivered. She and Bill are already working up the paperwork in case they need to get this before the full Court.”

Dora looked at me, the confusion evident on her face.

“Sandra Day O’Connor and William Rehnquist,” I said, then looked at Elroy. “Is her husband related to Earl?”

“Not that any of us are aware of, otherwise things could get dicey with potential conflict of interest and possibly require recusal,” Elroy answered. “Due to your diplomatic status, you could always tell the Federal judge to go piss up a rope if you wanted. The problem is the state judge. John, you want to explain that one?”

“Yes, thank you, Elroy. Under the order, it says you’re conducting dangerous research in an unapproved manner and endangering the lives of students and faculty of the Leland Stanford Junior University, a privately owned university located in the State of California. It goes into further details about how this is hazardous and various assorted specifics. Those aren’t important as to why we’re gathered here now. Now, I understand why they’re doing this, even if I don’t agree with it. Bristol-Myers made over three billion in gross profit last year, with Lily and Pfizer earning over two and a half billion. Johnson & Johnson, Merck, and Squibb all made between two and three billion. That’s profits from a single year, not sales. It’s worth it to them to ‘donate’ a few hundred thousand dollars to a judge to get something squashed that’s going to put them out of business.”

“Damn! That’s actually more than I make, if they combine things,” I commented.

“Yes, it is. They can tie you up in lawsuits for years while you’re appealing this, too. They don’t care that you could take out television ads showing you’ve invented a cure for something, so long as they keep making money. I know – everyone here knows – you’re not a kid. But that’s how they’d portray you in the public eye. I will note that our source does not indicate that either Amgen or Lily were part of this. But damn near every other pharmaceutical company in the world is,” John Ely said.

“Well, that sucks. I haven’t had time to do much thinking about this, but I recognize that devious gleam in Elroy’s eye, so he’s obviously got a solution,” I said.

Elroy chuckled. “Henry?”

Henry Wilcox, from the Board of Trustees, stood up. “I personally loathe and despise a corporation that acts in this manner. It may be in the best interests of their stockholders, but they are not being responsible partners to the consumer public. I have a serious question for both you and Miss Menendez. Will your treatment cure cancer?”

“Sir, the best answer I can give you is, maybe,” Dora said. “It’s an antiviral, which means if the cancer itself was caused by a virus, it should eliminate the virus that was the source. Liver cancer caused by Hepatitis B or C, for example. Cure the Hepatitis, remove the cause of potential cancer. Whether it’ll work for someone who already has liver cancer, we don’t know. That’s why we need to do testing. If it does work, then we have a moral obligation to make it. If it doesn’t work, well, we know it can cure – at least in animals – all of the flu viruses we’ve tested so far, plus all of the viruses I mentioned earlier. I personally don’t want to look in the mirror in the morning to see myself if I don’t make the effort to save lives,” she said, her voice shaking with emotion.

Pat Dillon, the Head Trustee asked, “What do you need from Stanford?”

“That’s what we thought we were going to be discussing with them,” I said, pointing at the group by Doctor Korn. We need to create a small production facility here on campus to figure out how to get the average unit cost down. They’ve spent four million dollars so far, and due to how precise things are in the creation process, there’s five hundred thousand in materials to get seventy-five doses. But that’s also because four hundred twenty-five of the doses were ruined in production. If I were concerned about making a profit, I’d ditch it. I’m not. I don’t care. You all know I’ve got money flowing out my ears. If it costs half a million to get five hundred doses and we sell those for ten bucks apiece and save five hundred lives, well ... darn, that’s four hundred ninety-five thousand dollars I lost that was worth it. We just need to be able to make more, and to get permission from Frank to test on people that are already sick. If someone’s dying from cancer or is infected with AIDS, it’s not going to do harm to try curing them.”

Doctor Korn first looked at Stephen Fallow, the head of Microbiology, then at Robert Madix, the head of Chemical Engineering. They both nodded.

“Cal, I purposely picked your medical school schedule this quarter. Not because of this, though. I realize that you will have something maybe a little more important than classes coming up in March of next year. That’ll be the only excuse I’ll take. You have the full support of the School of Medicine in creating this, and ... you are neither a resident nor an intern. However, as you do have four doctorate degrees, I feel comfortable in waiving certain restrictions I have placed upon you. All eight diagnoses in a row, huh? That’s a new record for the first day, by the way.” He looked at Frank Young. “As head of the Stanford School of Medicine, I formally request permission from the FDA for human testing protocols on the antiviral drug that Doctors Lewis and Menendez have created under the supervision of Doctors James Spudich and John Ross, professors at Stanford University.”

“Granted, but that still doesn’t deal with the order from the state judge,” Frank said.

“That’s where we come in,” Mister Wilcox said. “Mister ... pardon me ... Doctor Lewis, I’ve been told you have a perfect memory. What did I ask you at our first meeting?”

“Your exact words were, ‘Um, you don’t plan on buying Stanford, do you?’ and my response was, ‘No. Unless you’ve got it for sale, that is.’ Is Stanford University for sale?”

“Current trust fund assets are four point seven billion dollars,” Pat Dillon said. “Physical property, including the Linear Accelerator since I know that’s a field of interest for you, is eighteen point two billion. Can you come up with twenty-three billion dollars in an hour?”

“Yes, he can,” Jasmine spoke for the first time. “I am the international legal representative of CEDEM and His Majesty, King California Lewis. With the full authorization of Princess Hannah Marie Rothschild Lewis, I have contacted Baron Nathaniel Mayer Victor Rothschild, controlling officer of the Rothschild Bank. I have been given the legal authority to write a check, drawn upon and backed by the Rothschild Bank, of up to a certain amount that I will not disclose to you. Are you offering the Leland Stanford Junior University, its assets and debts, for sale to my client for the sum of twenty-three billion dollars?”

“We’d like to have it back when you’re finally done studying here. We’ll keep the money in a separate account, but yeah, that’s pretty much what we came up with. Upon completion of the sale, King Lewis can immediately declare this property as part of his kingdom, and the judge can go fuck himself,” George LeClerc, the other trustee present said.

Leonard said, “You may not want to do that. Since he’s actually paying twenty-three billion and immediately getting four point seven back, that’ll cover his interest payments over the next couple of years to Rothschild Bank. Then you as the Trustees can sit down with all of us to determine if it’s better for the University to not be governed by the laws of California, even though it’s physically bordered by the State of California, just like the tribal lands of the Unangan People of Alaska, the Indigenous People of Australia, and the Yakima People of Washington. I could see all sorts of benefits to not being part of California, after all.”

I raised a finger. “How would that affect the NCAA and other athletic accreditations?”

“Actually, not at all,” Leonard replied. “I’ve been busy, too. NCAA bylaws limit new membership to schools in the United States and territories controlled by the United States. There is nothing in there about a school in a territory that leaves control of the United States, while physically remaining within the borders of the United States. I made two phone calls this morning to Kansas City about this issue, as a hypothetical situation, and when they were done laughing and realized I was serious, they said, and I quote, ‘If we’re still going to be able to regulate their athletics, it’s Stanford, after all, so we’re used to stupid things from them.’”

I blinked, turned to Leonard, and said, “I think I’ve just been put in my place.”

President Kennedy laughed, then said, “It’s not that, Cal. I was right, regarding the popularity of NCAA Sports overseas, and how popular it is because you’re involved, which has led to nothing but positive feedback from Oregon. Even with the Great Duck Hunt, as they’re calling it now. You’re just not that well known here in the US. There are parts of the country that know you well, but really, not that many, when you get down to it. You’re just not a household name here. The same isn’t true overseas. Probably half the population of India and Pakistan, if not more, know who you are, and who your wives are. All of Saudi Arabia knows of you, too. Of course, England knows you, and everyone except the politicians in Australia love you.”

I looked at Dora, the question on my face obvious.

“Don’t look at me, it’s all Helen’s doing. It’s one thing to help the new Indigenous Territories. It’s another to build infrastructure there, and in the other territories, when what they have doesn’t exist. So, we’re creating jobs in a lot of the rest of the country, to make things for the Indigenous Territories.”

“Okay, that’s cool. I just didn’t know.” I turned back to Mister Wilcox. “Sir, as the head of CEDEM...”

Jasmine interrupted me. “No, that’s not how it’s done. Not at all. Are you sure you have a doctorate? Never mind, I’ll do it. Mister Wilcox, I am the legal representative of CEDEM International. It is our understanding there is some land, along with certain other assets, available for quick sale here in California. Is this correct?”

He chuckled. “Yes, Ma’am, it is. The land is the census designated area of Stanford, California, and includes all the buildings, equipment, and other items currently belonging to the Leland Stanford Junior University, of which I am a trustee and thus legally able to discuss this matter with you. Does your client have an offer for us?”

“Yes, actually, he does.” She pulled out a piece of paper, then slid it across the table.

The three trustees looked at it, then looked at her. “Are you serious?” Henry asked.

“This amount will transfer ownership of the Leland Stanford Junior University to CEDEM International, specifically to His Majesty California Lewis. Additional funds will be available, should they be needed, but will otherwise not enter into this transaction.” She slid two other documents across the table. “As you can see from these documents, you as the trustees will remain in your positions with your current responsibilities and obligations; nor will there be any changes to the University naming protocol, neither will any statues to His Majesty or his ego be required. You will simply be operating under his authority, due to transferring ownership.”

Pat Dillon slid the three documents over to John Ely, who quickly looked at them. I thought his eyebrows were going to crawl over the top of his head, they went up so much. He looked at Jasmine in awe.

“This is possibly the most elegant and simple legal document I have ever seen. I’m so used to lawyers in this country putting an incredible number of clauses and stipulations into their contracts that to see this, with no ambiguities or weasel words, I think I’d like to frame it as the perfect example of a contract,” he said.

“It is not the perfect example of a contract. However, I could not shorten it any further, due to the nature and breadth of the transaction. I have done simpler contracts than this, albeit for deals that had less gross funds being discussed,” Jasmine replied.

“Gentlemen, if you want Cal to buy Stanford, so he can continue to do his research here and win a few Nobel Prizes, then I advise signing that document,” Ely said.

Without another word, the three trustees for Stanford signed the documents, then sent them across the table for my signature. I glanced at the documents to read them, then stopped, my brain locking up for a second. I took my time and read them again, then looked at Jasmine. She had an inscrutable smile on her face that wouldn’t have looked out of place on the Mona Lisa.

“I’m not going to ask about the story now, but later on, I think I’d like to hear it. I think I’m happy that Sayel was forced to marry you instead of killing you, too. I have to include the qualifier, because I didn’t think there was anyone that could possibly dethrone my Grandfather as the most devious person in the world. I’m concerned that you have taken his title away from him.”

“Not really, Your Majesty. I know my parents were not married, so while I do qualify as a bastard, I’m not devious at all. I simply see no reason to clutter up a perfectly good contract, as Victor Rothschild noted.”

I signed the papers, then pulled my wallet out. I looked again, then had to look up. “Sorry, anyone got change for a ten?” That caused a round of laughter.

Elroy saved the day for me. I did make a show of double checking the bills he’d given me, then held my fingers up again to confirm they were all still present, which caused another round of laughter. Once that was done, I slid the two signature pages, along with a one dollar bill, across the table to Pat Dillon. He formally inspected it, then nodded his approval, signing again below my signature.

“Congratulations, Your Majesty, you just bought yourself a University.”

“Thank you. Now, I have a question for Jasmine. How do you know this won’t be challenged in US courts?”

“How can it be? Right now, there is no pending litigation or other suits that you have been presented with, so there are no challenges. The only ones who could potentially complain are the Internal Revenue Services of California and the United States, as once you make your proclamation that Stanford is now a part of your Kingdom, the institution itself will no longer be subject to either California or United States taxes. However, I believe we have a tax attorney or two – dozen – on the payroll that can negotiate things for them, such that, while the former taxing authority will not be happy, I can assure you Stanford and its workers will be. This will simply be foreign soil that was formerly real property within the United States, just as your lands in Alaska, Washington, Kansas, and the various former US military bases you already own across the country are your lands now, including the ones here in California, such as Moffett Field.”

“Very well. Before I commit another faux pas, is it okay now to make that proclamation?”

She smiled at me. “Of course, Your Majesty.”

“Very well.” I turned around, where Sayel was standing by the door and trying not very successfully to maintain a straight face. “Bad assassin. No biscuit for you tonight!” That was all it took for him to break down laughing.

“I, California Lewis, First of my name, King of the Indigenous People of Australia, Alaska, Washington, and Prince of the Punjab, do hereby proclaim ownership and title thereof to the lands, properties, and equipment of the Leland Stanford Junior University, currently located in Stanford, California, and declare it to be a part of my Kingdom, for now and until such time as either I or my heirs may decide otherwise. Congratulations, everyone, we are now your King. You may feel free to bow or otherwise kiss our ring as a sign of your fealty as our loyal subjects.”

“Or they could tell you to go piss up a rope, young man,” Elroy said, a grin on his face.

“A dollar? Seriously?” I asked.

“I have found that in many financial transactions such as this, which are primarily for reasons other than an actual conveyance of title – primarily due to business operations, for example – any funds transferred are simply shifted from one account to another, and then back again. That complicates things drastically. In this instance, you would have had to borrow money from the Baron Rothschild, upon his bank, then pay him interest on the borrowed money, to give to the trustees and have them then place it into a special account, where in a couple of years, they’d simply end up giving it back to you. Then you could repay the loan, presuming you had not done so already with your other profits. As this already is a privately owned institution, there is no need to create a horrendously long and complicated transaction, even when real property is involved. I believe you have a saying here. ‘Keep it simple, stupid.’ This keeps it simple.”

John Ely shook his head. “I also just realized something, as well. With the fame and notoriety that Stanford has already gained from Cal being here, plus what we’ll get from his winning the NCAA championship, and then whatever we get from Eve as well, by the time it came to try to buy Stanford back in a couple of years, it’ll be worth at least twice what it is now. This way is cleaner, simpler, and won’t result in any hard feelings.”

“Well, other than those of the morons that come here with their cease and desist paperwork that won’t be valid,” Elroy said with an evil grin.

Over the next couple of hours, I made a couple of phone calls, one to the White House, another to Geneva, to update Ronald and Walter on what was going on. As soon as Chuck found out about what had happened, he doubled the security on my home, and added two more uniformed officers to my personal unit. In addition, he contacted our security forces, so they could get signs made and posted upon every single street that accessed Stanford property. Fortunately, the Stanford maintenance department already had a sign shop, albeit not with this in mind. They began working on getting signs out and posted, so they’d all be up by midnight. They needed about sixty of them, due to all the streets that led to properties owned by Stanford.

In the meantime, Dora and I had our meeting with the doctors and President Kennedy about what we’d need as far as an actual facility, to create a small, but effective, production facility. Elroy, and Leonard went to Don Kennedy’s office to make conference calls with Amgen and the folks in Indiana from Lily Labs, to hash out what they knew, and to see if they’d be interested in continuing to work with us. Jasmine moved to another table to work with John Ely on the correct American legal system wording of a lawsuit to file against Pfizer and Bristol Myers, since I was an owner of their companies and they had dealt in bad faith with me.

About three hours later, there was a disturbance in the outer office. That was everyone’s cue to return to the conference room. Chuck had stationed a squad of Gurkhas in the outer office, so that pretty much neutralized any police forces that might have come along.

Colonel Suwal, the leader of my Gurkha forces opened the door, then said, “Your Majesty, there are two ... persons ... here who say they have legal documents for you.”

I used my quarterback voice to reply, so it’d carry. “We are involved in a conference with our instructors. However, if these are important legal documents that affect us, we should see them immediately, so that our advisors may determine their effect. You may send those two persons in, and only those two.”

I wasn’t expecting one of the two to be a woman. One thing we’d also done in the room was move a riser over to the head of the table, with my chair elevated like a throne. My two security officers moved between the new people and our group, their weapons at the ready.

“What the hell is this?” the man angrily said, his large glasses not fitting his face properly. “I’m a Federal Judge, and you’ll get out of my way, now!”

“Our security forces do not answer to United States Law, whoever you happen to be. You will either properly identify yourself to them and to us, or you will leave. Vertically or horizontally, it matters not,” I said. “You are interrupting a conference with our advisors. We are His Majesty, King Lewis. Who are you?”

“You’re California Lewis, then? I have a federal cease and desist order here, properly and duly signed by myself, to present to Stanford University.”

“We repeat, you will properly identify yourself, or you will be treated as a threat by our assassins, who have their blades at your backs.”

Both Sayel and Yagyu had approached the pair with drawn swords, and now pushed ever so slightly with their blade tips, so that both of the people could feel the sharp point in their backs.

That caused the woman to speak up. “How dare you, Sir! I am Rose Bird, the Chief Justice of the California Supreme Court! And I also have a cease and desist order issued by the State of California for you and your activities here at Stanford University!”

Sayel pushed just a little harder on the man’s back. “Fine! I’m Robert Aguilar, Federal Judge with the US Ninth Circuit Court, District of Northern California. I am outraged at this treatment!”

“We do not care, for you will be dead if you do not shut your mouths, both of you,” I said. At that, both Sayel and Yagyu instantly moved their blades to the sides of their necks. Aguilar’s pants darkened, indicating he’d just pissed himself. Bird simply had a wet spot appear under her skirt on the carpet as her pee ran down her leg. “My Princess, will you please relieve our unwelcome guests of the weighty documents they profess to carry?”

“Certainly, My King,” Dora said. She got up, walking over to each of them and holding her hand out. Both handed them over to her with shaking hands. She brought the papers back to me.

I opened Aguilar’s first. “Ah, we see this is a note from a judge on the US Ninth Circuit Court, ordering us to cease and desist all dangerous activities at the Leland Stanford Junior University and for said University to bar us from their facilities, pending full investigation. How nice.”

Aguilar looked like he was going to say something, so Sayel moved the blade ever so slightly, which broke the skin on Aguilar’s neck, allowing just a trickle of blood to start, heading down to stain his white collared shirt.

“Oh, and we have here a note from a State of California judge, ordering the same thing. How nice that we are considered dangerous by both the local Federal Court, as well as the local State Court.” I picked a piece of paper off a table sitting next to me. “Oh, isn’t this interesting? We happen to have in our hand a piece of paper, signed by someone that we think a Federal judge in California should recognize. United States Supreme Court Justice, and primary Circuit Judge for the US Ninth Circuit, Sandra Day O’Connor. You recognize that name, don’t you, Mister Aguilar?”

“It’s Judge Aguilar, and yes, I do.”

“Not according to this document, Mister Aguilar. This order states that whomsoever presents any documents to ourselves, stating they are from a Federal Court, shall be removed from office immediately, arrested by the United States Marshal Service on suspicion of bribery, and any and all documents carried or presented by that person shall be considered null and void in all lands and territories where the United States of America has authority, or anywhere else they may be. Fortunately for you, Mister Aguilar, we happen to have a United States Marshal in our personal security forces, and he will make sure you live to testify against those whose funds you took.”

Jeremy Gage, my primary troubleshooter from the US Marshals Service, stepped forward from where he’d been leaning against the wall. He brought out a set of handcuffs from his belt. “Thank you for winning me the bet I made. We’d already been investigating you on corruption charges. You can go ahead and put your hands behind your back, you’re under arrest. Oh, and just so you know – you’re not on US soil right now, so you don’t have any Miranda rights.”

That comment made Judge Bird start, which resulted in her getting a slight nick on her neck as well. “What do you mean, not on US soil? This is California!” she stated.

“Ah, no. It’s not,” I said with a smile. I opened my arms wide. “Welcome to the Kingdom of the First People. We have a duly signed and executed bill of sale from the trustees of the Leland Stanford Junior University. We have purchased everything here, lock, stock, and barrel, as it were, and accepted it into our Kingdom. This is our land now, subject to our laws, not those of any state or government except our own. Thus, this piece of paper you have is worth less than the stock of the companies whose payment you took to sign it. Because we have no other point of contention with you at this point in time, we shall encourage you to run back to your masters and cash whatever check they paid you with while there are still funds in their bank accounts to cover that check. Then we suggest you resign your position and retire from public life, perhaps finding a nice job as a waitress somewhere far, far from here. We would normally suggest Alaska, but parts of that are also in our kingdom. Perhaps upstate Maine, as that is far enough away the stench of your corruption, as well as the stench from your voided bladder, should no longer offend us.”

She looked like she was going to say something, so Elroy stood up. “In case the two of you just might have seen the news at some point, I’m Judge Elroy T. Bannister. You know, the Judge and Special US Marshal that helped solve the killing of JFK. I’ve got President Reagan’s personal phone number, along with the authority to use it at any time of any day, if I need it. Right now, you’re both lucky to be alive, because I’ve seen people killed for much less. Miss Bird, I suggest you voluntarily make a statement to Marshal Gage there about what happened and why you just happened to come by that document. Make it a formal deposition, even. Then you take your stupid and corrupt ass and get somewhere you don’t think one of these assassins will come find you if you ever open your mouth against my Grandson again. Because I guarantee you that if they don’t find you, I will!”