Episode 18: HerMan

Sunday after coffee. The day was still young. Namely noon.

Zach Pedigo decided to head home early after Khloe and the darling couple Heidi and Weaver went off on their own. Rest sounded great but it was not in the cards. Roaring into his apartment complex on his Harley he noted a certain redheaded neighbor outside sunbathing. Although pale of skin, Petra Monahan found that her complexion resisted the traditional burning that pale flesh normally endured. When done in moderation the girl could manufacture a golden color, one that she was working on this fine warm day.

Without hearing his uproar arrival due to her music, earplugs in her ears, Petra failed to discover him walk up on her and stand over her lithe little body. One leg to each side of her hips he stood tall, waiting on her to notice his shadow blocking her sunlight. Her eyes closed to the sun, shades minimally helping, she was surprised when his boot toe tapped her on a rib.

“Oh, shit.” She yelped yanking her earplugs from her ears, “Sorry, I didn’t hear you come up. Hi.”

“Why are you wearing that bikini?”

“Umm! Public decency?”

“Why do I even bother with you.” He swung his right leg over her, his boot heel directly over her face grazing the tip of her nose and prepared to leave. His shadow left a print of what she was worth in the moment. Tread carefully!

“WAIT! Why do you torture me so? I gave into you last night in your apartment. I joined in on playing with your friends.”

“Did you do what I told you to start doing?”

“Herman?” She appeared haunted, “Not much. I’m just not finding him attractive.”

“Useless.” He moved another foot further away from her, forcing her to reach out and grab his pant leg.

“Please. I’ll work harder at it. Just tell me what you want.”

“I want a slut that can keep up with Khloe and Cleo. You’re not even close.” His ego was increasing more and more. That and he smirked when she couldn’t see his face directly. To him it was humorous to see her beg like she often did. Zach’s dominating side increased by the day but in all reality, he was letting the girls do all of the real work. He just laid the foundation for their desires. Sure, he loved putting fire under their asses to get them on his wavelength but even if they didn’t, he would blow it off and say it wasn’t his fault that they couldn’t keep up with him. Both Cleo and Khloe were submissive already, so they were peaches and cream. Petra here was living on her instincts, not his and that was not going to fly. Toying with her was simply a hobby. The superglue would stick to the model or fall to pieces. Her choice! Gorilla glue tactics!

“I fucked two guys right next door to you that I’d never even met before doing it. How is that not being a slut?”

“That was for Jaye and Bob. Not for me. Go be their little whore.”

“I WANT TO BE YOUR LITTLE WHORE.” She rolled to her knees and crawled over her blanket to kneel in front of him. Her hands gravitating toward his crotch with a hopeful balance of seductiveness and aggression she prayed she would be given a second, third chance. Swatting her hands away he leaned over and gripped her chin firmly to maintain eye contact. Spitting in her face not once but twice made her tremble like a leaf. That was new for Zach, yet it worked in showing her just how unworthy she was. As a model her self-esteem took a hit.

“I sent you home to taunt Herman. If that’s not being fulfilled, I have zero use for you.”

“I’ll start right now. He’s working from home today. What, how far do you want me to go?”

“Impress me or never look my way again. Improvise! Hand me your cell.” He pointed at it lying on her blanket covered partially by a fashion magazine, earplugs dangling as it played Adele. Slipping away she snatched it up and handed it to him, music shut off. Using it he dialed his own cell number then tossed her phone back at her in a portrayal of hot potato. “Call me without him knowing, I’ll listen in. I better hear Herman asking you what you’re doing. Coax him out here and have him lotion you up. Among other things. No hesitation or...” He turned and walked away leaving her to imagine his final words. Silence struck her soul harder than his saliva. Petra Karin Monahan sat stunned for thirty seconds then got up with her phone and made her way inside. The spit on her cheeks, nose, and forehead had not even been wiped away, it would just be noted as sweat. Watching him unlock his door she waited to see if he would look her way. Not even a glance. That was the nudge she needed. Into her apartment she went.

Within she found Herman Barstow on his laptop at the small dining table they ate at. Eying her sudden return wearing only her narrow all-black bikini he swallowed dryly. When she had left the apartment, she had a long t-shirt over it. Now he had the privilege of seeing quite a lot more skin. Not to mention an extremely healthy chest bulging against the bikini tops far from modest cups, strings otherwise tied behind her back and neck. The same for her bottoms in their string held eye patches up front revealing the slimmest hint of fire red pubic hair cresting up over the tower of fabric. The back patch even smaller, a tiny triangle which creeped dangerously within her heart shaped butt crack. Suddenly editing any book became a slutty romance novel.

“Hey, Herman.” She smiled brightly, masking her true thoughts of “Ewww!”

Removing his reading glasses he explored her assets with a glimmer of hesitation, fear mostly. “Did you get tired of sunbathing already?”

“No. I just got thirsty. It’s really hot out today. Does it look like I’m getting darker?” She rotated her body in a slow motion 360 to let him check her out. It was then she realized that she hadn’t even called Zach. All of this preliminary work was lost.

“I can’t tell. I haven’t seen you like this up until now to judge.”

“That’s true. Be right back, got to tinkle.” She used the bathroom as her excuse to call Zach. Dialing while staring into the mirror she primped at her material. As he answered she resorted to whispers. “I started teasing before I called, you missed a bit. Sorry! Please stay with me. I’m going back out there now.” A flush to cover her tracks she started to turn the doorknob and heard Zach loud and clearly.

“Hang up and let me call you. When you answer in front of him act like you’re talking to a guy you like being with. Turn it to your advantage.” She had no clue who to imagine other than fantasizing about Zach himself. In her mind that was the best possible aphrodisiac.

“Okay.” She swiftly hugs up and opted to wash her hands as fast as she could. As her cell rang, she walked out of the bathroom and stepped into the kitchen. Answering it she went into her dramatic implementation. “Oh, my gosh. Stevie! Where have you been? You haven’t called me in three weeks. Yes, I just moved into my new place. Yes, a male roommate. My roommate is really sweet.” She leaned around a corner to flutter her fingers at Herman. He smiled at her compliment. Ducking back, she obtained a bottled water from the fridge and paraded back into Herman’s zone. Moving to the living room she stretched out on the sofa with one leg on the floor, her bikini bottoms tightening up between her thighs.

“When are you dropping by to see the apartment? No, I don’t believe Herman would mind. Would you mind if my friend Steven dropped by sometime?” She posed the question to Herman as his eyes locked in on her thighs, her bottoms constricting into her labia a bit without revealing too much stiff lower lip.

“Not at all! Wait, does he have pets? I don’t need dander, or I’ll be a mess for weeks.”

“Not even a cute little pussy.” Primping her bottoms as he watched she acted as if mesmerized by her caller. Eyes sparkling, she teased her flesh with her water bottle trailing condensation along her tummy.

Instant sweat beaded up on his brow at that devilish P word. Considering he was still a 30-year-old virgin it left Herman shaking. That and the fact she was laying her bottle right over her burning hAir strip as if to put out its fire. Bottle sat aside Petra toyed with her bikini bottom strings a bit as if straightening them for comfort.

“Oh, my God! I can’t believe you just asked me that...” She giggled ignoring Herman. “A very skimpy black bikini. Satisfied, Mister Snoop? What? No, I don’t think so...” She now looked up at Herman with a worried expression, “Herman? Does my laying here in a skimpy bikini bother you?”

“No, of course not. Feel free, after all you do pay half the rent.”

“Whew! I was worried there. I didn’t want to mortify you. I guess I should ask, is my talking out here keeping you from your work? I so don’t want to be impolite.”

“I’m not getting much done anyway. You’re fine, I’ll let you know if it becomes bothersome.”

“Thank you, Handsome.” Not even close! Regardless she winked at Herman. He had to let it sink in that she thought he was cute. Even he knew he wasn’t. “Stevie? Why aren’t you here to lotion me up? I was out sunbathing a minute ago. I’m going back out shortly; you should come by. You’re always too busy. How can you not want to lotion up this hot body of mine? I bet Herman would.” She waved at Herman mouthing, “Sorry.” He sat back and just looked at her with curiosity. Just what she wanted, well, what Zach wanted. She wanted Zach ... you get the idea.

Laughing aloud as if at something Steve had said she pinched then lifted her bikini bottoms in front as if peering beneath them. Lowering her voice she said, “Yes, I shave it very narrow still. It might need touching up a bit. Stop being nosey before I blush.” Herman heard every word, saw her lift her bottoms, his mind was running wild.

Fingertips teasing her tummy back and forth as she bantered with Steve, she wished that Zach would talk. He was no assistance whatsoever. She knew very well this was her show, his test. One that she was determined to pass. “Steeeeviiie! Stop, before I have to go to my room ... and ... you know.” She flared her eyes at Herman and fanned her face. “So, not right. Yes, I miss you too.” She pouted as she listened to a nonexistent voice, “You have really got to stop.” Her fingers slipped beneath her bikini bottoms as if uncontrollably drawn to it. Literally rubbing her clit she snapped a shy glance at Herman just before pulling it away and squirming a bit in her cushions. “I’m so sorry, Herman.”

“For what?” He played it off, his building erection was becoming harder to hide as he attempted to act as if reading over his monitors opened page. Herman Barstow was a book editor for of all things a Romance novel publisher. The job was his sole learning curve for anything intimate. Things he tried to use in real life on women was turned away every single time. Being taller than most men at 6’5 with a lanky build, and nerdy Rick Moranis appearance was not in his favor. A dry personality gave women the creeps. Petra could empathize with the other women. Still, if it kept her in Zach’s orbit, she was going to make Herman crazy. Let him think she liked him.

“Is it hot in here?” She giggled.

“The central air is on, it’s 72 degrees.”

“No wonder the girls are pointy today. Yes, Stevie that’s partially due to you. You’ve always had that effect on me, making me do ... stop vocalizing Petra.” She sat up straight and shook her hand then her body as if trying to mask her hormones. “Oh, my God! You must think horribly of me Herman.”

“Pardon? I was reading.”

“It’s just as well, your ears might burn.” She stood up quickly, her chest bobbing about as if begging for freedom. Having strategically set her bottled water next to the sofa on the carpet, she slyly kicked it over and into a roll beneath the loveseat. “Dang it.” Dropping to her knees with her back to Herman she bent forward to reach under the loveseat to locate it, her fingers nudging it further back on purpose. Her ass in the air, bikini bottoms sinking within her crack she continues her salvage mission.

Herman enjoyed her ass immensely and adjusted his massive tentpole beneath navy blue sweatpants. Her extremely tight curves were just insane. Flawless flesh stretched so tight her ass was even shiny. “Come here you.” She softly spoke to her bottle but used her words as if meant for Herman. Mistaking it Herman stood up and walked over behind her and glared down at her ass with clenched perfect teeth. In peering down, he realized just how visible his erection was and posed its tent perversely right between her crevice so that it looked as if he was fucking her from behind. “OH, MY GOD! Why are you being so elusive. Well, fuck me.” She pulled her arm away and moved upward fast, turning to face Herman, his tented behemoth directly in her face. Mouth wide in awe of him being right behind her, Petra lowered her gaze to witness his size. He immediately lost his nerve and turned away.

“HERMAN! Get back here.” His eyes bulging at her commanding request, he slowly faced her again, hoping that she wouldn’t bitch him out or call him names. “Stand where you were.” He swallowed dryly, unprepared for any admission of guilt. “Here.” She pointed at her knees. Another step forward he was right back into her face. “Hold on Stevie. My water bottle just rolled under the loveseat.” She rested her cell face down on the carpet. “Herman is going to lift it up.”

She eyed his beast hiding in the bushes waiting to pounce. Shyly, she raises her eyes up at Herman in his 6’5 tower, mouth still gaping in amazement. He again looked directly down and lined up his tents crest where it looked like he was getting a blowjob. His personal fantasy was making his heart pound.

“Lift the loveseat for me?” She pouted.

“Right!” He shook off his perversion and crouched next to her and gripped the loveseat heaving it a few inches. Leaning down again, this time facing him she guides her left arm under the furniture and plucked up her bottle, her tits were ready to topple out of her bikini top. Rising back to her knees, she held the thin bottle between her breasts thankful for its return and crushed her melons around it as if being titty fucked. The chilled bottle made her shiver. “Thank you, Sweet Herman.”

“Always here to help.” He admired her bottle trapped within her mocha-colored mountains, barely embracing a tan and cleared his throat.

“Oh! Shit! That looked bad, didn’t it?”

“I ... would never say bad.” He shyly coughed up; his allergy riled up having touched a slightly dusty underside of the loveseat. As Herman rose back to his feet, his dick wagged from side to side in front of her. She squinted slightly, confused by his monstrosity for one, that he was obviously not wearing underwear for another. Curiosity struck and she nibbled her lower lip before lifting her eyes toward Frankenstein’s monster. Unblinking, she played the intimidated doe in headlights card.

“Help me up?”

She posed her hand a mere inch from his cock’s attempted swagger. His hand claiming her fingers he gently pulled her to her feet. Standing very close to him she felt his beast graze across her stomach. “I would not know what to do without you, Herman. Oh, shoot, Stevie!” She forgot her cell was still on the carpet. Turning her back to his, in a blur she bent over to obtain her phone, her ass directly touching his side shifted cock. Jumping upright as if startled she laughed. “That wasn’t at all compromising, was it? I’m so sorry, Herman.” A pleading look made her feign a blush.

“Accidents happen. It was ... a nice accident.”

Fanning herself she shared a flirty grin then placed her cell to her ear, “Still there, Stevie? Oh, my God! Do you have to know every move I ... yes, I was on my knees. No, I wasn’t ... Stevie, he’s, my roommate. I was not teasing him.” She looked at Herman staring at her without walking back to his work. Using her free hand, she formed a measure of an inch and mouthed, “Maybe a little.” Herman nearly fainted.

“Okay, I’m going back outside before I lose the sun. Are you sure you won’t come over and lotion me up? You know how I adore those humongous hands of yours.” She sheepishly looked at Herman’s own trembling hands. They were equally as large as other obvious appendages. “Your loss, Sexy Man. I’ll just find someone else to paw me up. Call me when you have time to give me some attention. Bye, Stevie. See you at the Agency.” Acting as if hanging up on Stevie, she hid her cell behind her back as if scratching an itch as she pouted vividly, “Why do I bother with him?” Zach was still listening.

“Who exactly is Stevie?”

“A photographer at the Talent Agency I frequent. Model, remember?” She posed like Cindy Crawford in her heyday, giggling at herself. “Remind me to share my portfolio with you sometime. It’s still at my old roommate’s house boxed up. I absolutely crush all of the girls in this region. Stevie’s been trying really hard to get me to pose nude. I’m slowly seeing myself doing it. Surprised I haven’t already?”

“Not really. You seem down to Earth.”

“I was raised well. Good Christian home. Any wonder why I moved away?” She danced for him in the moment then sighed lowering her arms to her side. His eyes were glued to her every move. “Well, I’m taking my wet ... water bottle here outside before anyone steals my BTS blanket, shirt, and lotion. I guess I’ll just lotion myself and hope I get the hard to get to spots good enough.” She patted her left butt cheek playfully. “I’ll let you get back to work.”

“I can lotion you. That is ... if you’re not opposed to our roommate agreement to give each other space.” Sheldon Cooper in the house!

Forcing her eyes to brilliantly sparkle, she shyly smiled, “Can you behave?” She pointed at his erection, noting a tiny wet spot over his cloaked urethra. He lost all confidence in a single breath.

“I better finish up my editorial duties.”

“You had my hopes up, Herman.” She pouts her lower lip and expresses sadness.

“I did?”

“Come with me.” She battled holding her cell and bottle to her bosom and took his hand. He had to open the door for them. Leading him downstairs and out into the backyard she released his hand and wiggled toward her blanket. Herman was reluctant, looking everywhere for prying eyes, the parking lot, windows, the sidewalks, not a soul in sight outside the occasional car driving by. Maybe this would not scar him for life after all.

Stretching out on her belly she lowered her sunglasses to mask the dread in her eyes, should Zach be watching. This was going to be awful. Herman was just not her type in any way. She liked her men rugged and strong, handsome, and demanding. Not some clueless guy with sweaty palms, geeky features, and lived to wheeze. Of course, his sneezing hadn’t given him too much trouble since she had his imagination locked down. Maybe his allergies were all in his head. Staring up at him she found him a few feet away still.