Chapter 1

I sighed in relief on Friday afternoon as I left my desk, then walked across the parking lot toward my car. Rose, a new friend from another department, waved and called out; “Hey, Penny! I have something for you.” As I approached her she pulled a CD case from her purse. “This stress relieving music my boyfriend gave me has helped me a lot. I think it can help you. You should listen to it. I don’t want to exaggerate, but it really has changed my life.”

“I don’t think I’ll have time this weekend, but thanks for the offer.”

She had a strangely intense expression on her face as she moved half a step closer. Her nose was only a hand away from mine, and I could smell her perfume and the peppermint candy in her mouth. I felt very uncomfortable, since we’d only known each other a week. She peered into my eyes and assured me, “It’ll change your life for the better. It really will. It even improved my love life. My boyfriend and I are much happier now.” She held my wrist briefly and pushed the CD into my palm, then her expression suddenly changed to a smile. “Have a good weekend, Penny.”

Her overly odd behavior was unsettling. I awkwardly stepped back and replied, “Uh ... you too. Thanks.” As she turned and started walking toward her car, I noticed a pack of cigarettes tucked into a pocket of her purse. I wondered why I hadn’t noticed that she smoked. I had only ever tried one puff from a cigarette in middle school and remembered how awful it was. The chemicals and terrible taste made me cough and nearly barf. I wondered why anybody would ever take more than just a single puff to see what it was like.

I climbed into the driver’s seat of my car. There was no label on the CD case and only ‘CD 1’ on the disk. I scoffed knowing good music might put me in a better mood for a little while but there was no way just a song would change my life. I put it in the car’s CD player and turned the key.

Beautiful classical music began playing and I heard a few bird calls. Under the slow and calming orchestra I also heard a waterfall and a very quiet male voice. The soothing words almost blended into the rest of the pleasant sounds. “Put the chaos and worry of your day aside. This is a safe time to relax and feel at peace. Take a few slow deep breaths and you will feel much calmer.”

Being calm and relaxed seemed almost absurd to me. I smiled and chuckled at the sharp contrast from the hellacious pressure I’d been under, finishing a project only three minutes before the end-of-day deadline. I felt the stress starting to melt away.

The man’s deep monotone continued, “You have no worries at the moment and all is well. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Fill your lungs slowly, pause a moment, then slowly let it out. This breathing exercise is great for stress relief and can be a big help if you are quitting smoking. Feel your troubles and worries leaving your body as you exhale...” I did as he said and felt quite calm. “Direct your attention to your breathing. With every exhale, more fear and uncertainty leave you. Every inward breath brings you peace and a bit of joy...”

A while later I was in my kitchen putting groceries away. I wasn’t concerned that I had quite hazy memories of shopping and driving home. Everything was peaceful and fine. I was surprised the last item I removed from a bag was a pack of nicotine gum. I wondered why I had gotten it, then remembered I needed to quit smoking. The voice had said it was important to chew at least six pieces of nicotine gum per day to quit smoking. The gum made my tongue tingle. It had a strange taste but I was glad it would help me quit.

After my daughter Melissa said good night and went to her room, I sat in my comfortable recliner to watch a movie. I was a little tired and decided to listen to the music instead, then go to bed early. I put on headphones and turned the volume up loud. It was peaceful and very, very relaxing. The nice voice made me smile. “You have no worries and all is well. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Fill your lungs slowly, pause a moment, then slowly let it out. Feel your troubles and worries leaving your body as you exhale. Put a piece of the nicotine gum in your mouth and chew it slowly.” I did as he said and felt much calmer. “Direct your attention to your breathing. As you exhale through your nose you feel stress and negative energy leaving your body. When you inhale through your mouth with your lips open slightly you taste the nicotine gum and enjoy how nice it makes you feel. Like your rhythmic breaths, the gum brings you peace and joy...”