Chapter 10

We didn’t have any trouble coming up with a plausible reason for my not being in the house when George came down. George had offered his chainsaw for me to use if mine ever broke down. Thursday I called and asked if he would bring it on Friday. I told him I had about an hour’s work cutting some trees up for wood. I wanted to get it into the shed on Saturday so he could wait for it. Annie would serve him coffee while I used it. He got the message.

Annie worried again what to wear. The great arranger was there again. Ha! After I got her out of having to get next to George with his barn clothes on last time, I figured that is what I would call myself. “When George drives in I will have the tractor running in the yard. I’ll step out, you say ‘Hi’ from the door, I’ll have him explain the saw operation and get on the tractor and leave.

“After saying Hi, head in and take all of your clothes off. Meet him at the door buck naked. That ought to perk him right up.” Annie was so happy with the scenario, she was jumping right up and down. I said we ought to do some role playing ourselves, so I went out and when I came in, she met me like that. I did everything I could to cool her down, but she was still excited when we went to sleep. George was in for a great time again!

A person may wonder why I seemed to be helping with my wife’s infidelity. I had lived with this woman more than forty years. We had some trying times and we have had to seize the good times and run with them. Admitted, this wasn’t a good time for me, but I was willing for it to get better and I knew it would. Annie was getting joy and satisfaction out of this. It was not a happy situation by any stretch for me, but I was happy for her. Me, well I guess I was getting a perverse pleasure out of torturing myself.

George arrived as scheduled. The scene played itself as planned. That hi to George that came from Annie as I stepped out of the house tightened my chest so I could hardly breathe. I did get from George the lowdown on the quirks of his chainsaw. I mounted the tractor and drove by the house. I tried not to look towards the house, but couldn’t help myself. I saw her naked profile in the end window as I went by. I could look in and see her standing and waiting to open the door. I looked ahead and by the time I had gone three tractor lengths, I figured George had removed his clothes and started with his hands on Annie, already. Damn!

I did run his chainsaw. Not much wood was cut. The good saw that was in the shed at home was a better cutting saw than this one, and it wasn’t broken. My mind, was otherwise occupied, elsewhere. Thoughts bounce around and you don’t know where they lead. Passing thought; I could cut myself and bleed to death. Wouldn’t they feel guilty then. Naw, it’s not that bad.

Another passing thought; I have time. I could sneak up and surprise them. George at least would look guilty. No, I set this up for my wife and she would be ashamed. That in turn would shame me. This is how the hour passed. I turned the tractor around and slowly headed for home.

Driving into the yard, not seeing George’s car, I wondered why. Annie met me at the door, not naked, but with a robe on. “Where is George?”

She snapped, “He left a few minutes ago. Said he would pick up the saw next week when he got the cows.” Annie looked a little downcast.

“What happened, you look down?”

“You should be happy. This didn’t go well. How can a person turn so possessive?” Then she started blaming herself, “I’ve debased myself, lied, and if this isn’t cheating, I don’t know what is.” Then she started blaming me. “You set this up and it always make’s me feel cheap and terrible. I hate everybody and everything!” Annie, crying, turned and ran into the bedroom, slamming the door.

I was shut out from Annie again. This was happening too much. It made me hurt, but it made me more than mad. I made me a cup of tea and a cheese sandwich. I drank the tea before it got cold and looked at the sandwich. I was hungry and ate it all. It was early and still light but I went upstairs and went to bed. I went to sleep too.

Annie wasn’t in bed with me when I woke up. Kidneys were overflowing. Went down, found it to be three a m and made myself a cup of tea and toasted some bread. Annie came out and went to the bathroom. I got up and made her tea. She came out and sat down, without looking at me.