Chapter 22: Date Night with Paul, and Laura?

During the next few days we all tried to resume our normal lives. But new realities had changed us all. Suddenly, Dad was a homebody, or househusband. It was going to be a huge adjustment for him changing from a structured routine work life to setting his own days and tasks. It was essentially retirement 20 years in advance of “normal.” He had “phantom” discomfort (itching and pain) that he “felt” in the hand he no longer had. He struggled with his emotions and irritability.

On the other hand, on the second night that he was home, Tara and I heard the unmistakable cries of our parents enjoying some very satisfying sex. Fourth night, too. Mom returned to work, on a reduced schedule and no more overtime.

Tara opened a fat envelope admitting her to the California State University in Sacramento (“Sac State”), so she was ready for her own useless high school senior year.

Saturday night, which followed the seemingly slowest three days in planetary history, finally arrived. I rushed to our door and threw it open, ready to finally see Paul again!

And his mother, Laura??!!

Tonight was off to a very bad start. My parents joined me and our two guests at our table.

“I guess this is a bit of a surprise,” began my Mom. I just stared at her.

“Laura and Dad and I have been talking about you.” Now I was getting angry. I glanced at Paul, who seemed totally uncomfortable.

“And about Paul.” Going past angry now, heading for furious.

“And about how the two of you got to this point.” Past furious. I was starting to vibrate. Paul, seeing my rage, was shrinking away from me.

“So we were talking —”

“Mother, I’m about to pick up this dining table and throw it at you.”

My father spoke abruptly. “Lainie, I love you, but shut the fuck up. Nora, you and Paul are going to a hotel tonight. And you’re not coming back.”

I literally twisted my head. “Wait, what?”

“Laura, you can express this better than I can, take over.”

“Son, Nora, you’re not allowed back here until you openly confess your love for each other, to each other, and to us, your family. And later on to the outer world.”

“Confess is an old word, but it applies. There will be no shame, shyness, self-consciousness, fear, or ambiguity.”

“To make this all real, you two fully grown adult humans are going to have all the uninhibited sex you can possibly have. And beyond all the fucking, you are going to make love. Sweetly, urgently, enthusiastically.”

Another rumble from Dad. “Nora, you know what I have been through lately. To think I might never again see my Lainie —”

After collecting himself, he added, “Love is everything.”

Until this night, I had never seen my Dad so openly emotional.

Mother, to Dad, “You are getting so laid tonight.”

To me, “Are we clear?”

“Yes, mother.”

“Are. We. Clear?”

“Crystal.”

Laura: “Paul. Do I have your attention?”

“You do, Mom.”

“I see next to you an extremely impressive, loving, and gorgeous young woman with an unimportant little blemish on the side of her face. I’m told this wonderful sexy girl wants to rip away your clothing, agitate your impressive genitalia, and ride you until you explode.”

“If you deny yourself to her, for any cowardly reason, I shall surely disown you.”

“Now, before you two go on your merry way. I have a question: Martin, do you have a brother?”