Chapter 6: Debriefing

We walked back into the Pereira house hand in hand and smiling. Lara and Lennie swarmed us. “Tell us everything.”

Dan: “A gentleman never tells.” This did not go over well. I made a cowardly exit for the bathroom, leaving him to be torn apart by the enraged lionesses.

When I returned, I found Dan sprawled on one of their huge living room sofas, looking disheveled. “What do you want from me?” he asked. “You know I don’t put out on the first date.”

Well, that shut them up.

“Neither do I.” I had to twist the knife. “But Dan is so dreamy, he might get lucky on our second date. Honey, can we skip the restaurant and go directly to the Starlight Motel?”

Now Dan was gaping at me. But then he broke into storms of laughter, which I joined, happily. It was like the sun came out in the middle of that huge room. When we all settled down. I threw another grenade.

“Dan, what size condoms should I bring? Large, Extra Large, or ‘This would fit over my entire shoe.’”

After another hilarious interval, Dan had to respond. “Oh, Extra Large is fine, but you need to bring the big box of 48 so we won’t run out.”

“I guess we should book the three-night package.”

Well, I guess we overdid it. They weren’t laughing any more. Just rolling their eyes. Dan stood up. “I’m sorry, ladies. Such coarseness in front of my beautiful date. Will you accept my apology, Miss E?”

“Of course I will, Dan.”

“Good.” Fortunately, I was still standing, because Dan came to me, wrapped me in his arms, and we shared the most wonderful romantic kiss. I swear, when it ended, I was glad for his embrace, simply because I felt wobbly in my legs.

“That was wonderful, Dan. Please apologize to me as often as you like. I’ll be ready.”

Lennie exhaled with a “whoosh.”

“Dan, I’m really offended at the way you shamelessly carry on in my living room. I think you owe me an apology, too.”

Lara added, “And that’s my virginal sister you’ve been mauling. I demand an immediate and thorough apology, before I allow you to touch her again.”

“Dream on, ladies. My lips are consigned over to the lovely Miss E and must not be shared without her explicit permission.”

Lara: “Dan, haven’t you been explicit enough? ‘Box of 48’? And you, sister, ‘what size of condoms’?”