The best ones always start out innocent. So fragile, so vulnerable, beautiful porcelain ready to be stained and shattered. Pure. That purity is important. Anyone can take a damaged and abused girl and churn out a vulgar slut. That’s not art. No, the art is taking someone innocent and fragile and turning them into something dirty, needy, but still delicate. Still soft, with wide eyes, as they do even the most depraved of acts.

That’s how all the men saw her. Delicate. Cute, but never sexy. The girl next door, ready to start college, and yet somehow still untainted. That was what made it fun, what made it a challenge. Not that it was impossible or anything. She was desperate for attention, for validation, for a father figure in her life. She had never been abused, but hers was a lonely life. A life ripe for a man, or men, to insert themselves into.

Loneliness drove her online. She avoided the darker areas of the internet, the mean ones, the violent ones, but the “kind” men? She was drawn to them. She hated calling them Daddy, it make her stomach twist, and she was so uncomfortable with the words they used for her. Babygirl, little one, and the ones that called her daughter were the worst. She would softly cry sometimes after, touching herself, ashamed in the bathroom.

Why did their words have to make her feel so wanted and loved?

She should have quit and focused on finishing the school year, but she would come home to an empty house, and after she had worked so hard in her classes all she wanted to hear were words of praise. So she would load up the websites, find those rooms, and wait for those words.

And the Daddies were generous. One taught her how to safely set up a PO Box. He had no intention of stalking her and told her to double-check everything he said. He was completely sincere. He just wanted to give her something. So she did as he asked. When she got the box from the post office, bringing it to her empty home, her heart had thundered in her chest. She had cried when she opened it.

Inside the box was another box, not simple cardboard but pink, with glitter and bows. A handwritten letter made her break down. Her “Daddy” told her how proud he was of her work, her studying, and that she was the bestest girl ever. That praise was a punch to her gut and she read the letter three more times before putting it down. Wiping away her tears, her hands trembled as she opened the box. On top of more boxes was an expensive webcam. A note on it simply said she was worth it. She set it aside, then opened the first box. In it was the teddy bear he had mentioned. It was so soft and she quivered, crying again as she held it against her chest. He had told her it was important to have a stuffy to be her security blanket against the world. For the first time in a long time, as she held it tightly against her, she felt loved.