A thoughtful SoL reader suggested that recently I have changed in some critical way. If so, it’s news to me, but then perhaps I’m not the most self-aware person on the planet. I asked my good friend Nils what he thought, and he smiled and told me I was better than ever. Okay, that sounded good to me. He asked if I wanted him to document the current Alina with his camera. I thought that might be fun.

After he set things up, he handed me my trusty blue dildo, which is actually a wand, not a dildo. “What should I do with this?” I asked, all innocent like.

“What you usually do,” Nils said. “Step one, switch it on.”