Episode 93: BROS B4 HOES

“BACK OFF ROTTEN!”

Mace Belmont was met at the front door of his aunt’s home by her excitable Rottweiler affectionately named Rotten. Nudging the dog back to allow Mace’s friend Travis to enter behind him he was met with resistance. “Knock it off already. He probably needs to use the yard.”

“Hey Rotten! Nice to meet you, Buddy.” Travis tried to pet the pup but heard growling instead so drew his hand back slowly.

“He just doesn’t know you yet. First time with anybody gets tense.” That was a lie, normally Rotten was a big baby. He wasn’t sure why the dog was agitated but he was. Holding Rotten’s collar tightly Mace stood between the unlikely adversaries and let Travis go around him. “Go on in I’ll walk him real fast then we’ll try again. If he gets too grumpy, I’ll put him out by the pool.”

“Nice doggy. Travis ... friend.”

“I doubt that helps.” Mace laughed, “Go left at the living room. Aunt Piper’s bedroom is on the other side of the TV wall. Her bathroom isn’t hard to find. Grab a shower ... wait! Put your dirty clothes in the washer over there first. I’m not taking them there. I’ll start a load when I get back in with Killer here.”

“Gotcha!”

Travis Herbert moved toward the laundry room down a short hall and began unpacking his soiled school clothes into the stackable washer. “Stacked just like Miss Cherry. Nice appliances, she has to be loaded.” He finished tossing his jeans and shirt inside then shrugged, “Taking a shower anyway, might as well wash my gym clothes while I’m at it. They smell as bad as my pissed-on jeans now that I’ve worn them.”

Stripping down he leaves his tennis shoes by the dryer and takes a tour of the home. “HUGE TV! Yessssssss! Our movie night just stepped up. Surround sound even, we can rock the neighborhood like that asshole Hardecker but with Fast and the Furious flicks. Vroooooooom! Vrooooom!” He made a circle of the living room as if driving out of control. “You go Dom!” Screeching his brakes, he leers out at his house on the backside of Piper’s swimming pool. “You ruined it Bro. Now I’m thinking of mom’s ... punk ass boyfriend.” His name Dom as well!

Groaning he walked into Piper’s bedroom and saw her King size bed and dropped his jaw with a birdlike siren call of exhaled, “Awwwwwwwwooooooooo! This is where the action is.” Knowing his time was precious Trav hurled himself on to her bed where he had seen her get laid or just sleep unclothed numerous times through his telescope. Rolling over he humped her spot chuckling, “You know you want me, Piper. I’m here to please Momma!” A few more humps he rises to his knees as if fucking an invisible Piper doggy style, slapping empty air that he imagined to be her ass. As if he had ever had sex before. It was humorous. It was also a good thing Piper was too busy at the moment to check her surveillance cameras like normal. Travis would have been in serious hot water. Speaking of... “I better get in the shower before Mace gets back in here with Dogzilla.” Funny considering Piper’s old toy was known as Bodzilla, still hiding in her dishwasher.

Rolling out of bed he brushes the bedding to look less occupied and strolls into her bathroom. Everything in there was frilly, pink or lavender. Of course, it was. Hearing the front door open and Rotten whining Trav jumped into the shower stall closing himself in for protection in case Fido was defending his territory. Turning on the multiple jets he was sprayed from three different angles. Never before experiencing luxury, he nodded, “Hell to the yeah!” Finding the only soap to be girly scented he grumbled, “Oh come on! Pink luffa even. I’ll never live this down.” Even worse he discovered a dildo suctioned to the shower wall by accident. It jabbed him in the ass.

“FUCK! That’s been inside her.”

Giving up on the fact he was halfway between Heaven and Hell he just used his hands to soap up with her shower gel that was scented like flowers. “Mom is going to try planting me in her garden once she gets a whiff of this ... me. I wonder if...” He raises his voice, “HEY MACE?” With the washer started the water goes cold briefly and Trav screams like a girl. Between his yell to get attention and his squirrely echo Mace stepped inside the bedroom but held off going any further. Sadly, in starting the washer he didn’t realize Travis had nothing to change into yet.

“WHAT?’ Mace yelled back.

“Got any manly soap? I don’t want to go home smelling like freaking lavender.”

“Yeah! Hang on.” Mace ran upstairs to his own bathroom and brought down a fresh bar of Irish Spring. It couldn’t get any more manly than that. Reaching the bathroom Mace opened the tiny box and had the bar in hand then realized he was going to have to deliver it in person. Marching in caught Travis off guard and he covered his junk stepping back as if shy. In doing so his ass crack found Piper’s dildo right up to his ass slipping between. Hearing Travis shout, “AAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Mace saw it and laughed.

“I guess Irish Spring fits the occasion.”

“Fuck you.”

“Piper’s dildo is better than I am any day, Buddy.” He chuckled, “Not gay! Just teasing ya. Just rip it off the wall and toss it out if it bothers you.”

“I could have used your shower.”

“Could have, but Piper did say use hers. You’re probably the only guy in Nashville that would complain about that.” He hides his gaze and holds the soap out tapping it on the glass, “Here! Man up!” Opening the door Travis took the bar and closed himself back in. “I put Rotten out back so you don’t have to sweat over him being nervous around you.”

“He should get used to me if we’re hanging out tomorrow.” Trav used the soap, “Gotta wash rag?” Mace found one in a small archway style brass linen shelf. Taking it over he again tapped the glass, “Thanks Mace.”

“No problem.” He left the bathroom but stood outside, “I think your harasser’s have learned their lesson.”

“I doubt it! I still have to deal with Hardecker. He got revenge but now it’s my turn. I just have to figure out how.”

“I got your back Buddy.”

“Speaking of ... can you wash my back? They peed there too.”

“Not going there. On your own Bro.”

“I was joking.” No, he wasn’t. He just didn’t realize how stupid it sounded.

“You’re right about Rotten. I’m letting him back in. Just don’t make any aggressive looking moves. He’ll come around.”

“Gotcha Bro!”

“I’m going to watch TV, it’s nice having cable finally.” Mace abandoned Travis heading back into the living room, snatching up the remote he turned the TV on. Flipping channels, he suddenly heard singing. “What the hell?” Muting the TV he listened, Travis was singing in the shower. Wincing queerly, he deciphered the song as Party Up by DMX. “Is he Rapping to DMX?” He had to text Piper with a video recording of him accompanied by a laughing hysterically emoji. She wouldn’t notice it right away she was kind of busy still, urinating on Neo Pryor. Turnabout was fair play. Returning to the TV he flipped channels before settling on an old episode of the comedy Fresh Prince of Belair.

Letting Rotten indoors the dog bolted through the French door and headed straight into Piper’s bedroom. His bed was in there so Mace ignored it, Will and Carlton were cracking him up too much to care. A strange reflection caught his eye however and he found Knox Hardecker on his balcony using binoculars. “And you call Trav a pervert.” Flipping him off Mace went to the couch and ignored him.

With no screams from the bathroom Mace concluded Rotten was more relaxed. Kicking back, he heard the shower and the Rapper quiet down. Door opening in the bathroom unnoticed by Mace, Trav found a pink towel and began drying off. Instead of wrapping the towel around his waist Trav stepped into Piper’s bedroom and dried his hair with one hand, digging cloth into his ear canal with the other.

Hearing a growl Travis froze and bulged his eyes. From his blind side Rotten jumped from laying in his doggy bed and pounced on Travis. Panic setting in Travis found Rotten humping his leg, his paws locked so tightly there was no breaking away without help. Fearing a scream might get him bitten Trav called out, “Maaaaace?” Low level!

The TV blaring loudly Mace didn’t hear him. With no curtains on Piper’s windows, it was a clear shot looking in. Knox Hardecker was laughing his ass off across the way and recording the whole incident. It looked as if Travis was liking it to the camera eye, but he was merely afraid to agitate the dog. With Rotten’s weight being so heavy Travis couldn’t even escape, it was all he could do to maintain balance. The dog had a good sixty pounds over his lank form. “Why me? Why does shit like this always happen to me?”

Sadly, Trav had to hold his swinging dick to keep it from being stabbed by Rotten’s nails pinned to his hips. To Hardecker it looked like Travis was jerking off while being humped. Not the case but nobody but Trav knew differently. Finally, Travis just lost it, “GET THE FUCK OFF ME!” Rotten didn’t obey but the reverb did make Mace take notice. Jumping from the couch he rushed into the bedroom and found Trav had made it to the mattress but was holding his body up on one hand. It really did look bad.

“SHIT! ROTTEN GET OFF!” Mace clapped his hands.

“DON’T TELL HIM THAT! HE MIGHT!” Not the way Mace meant but Trav was right. Poor guy just couldn’t catch a break.

Trying not to laugh Mace moved behind Rotten and grabbed his collar attempting to pull him off. The snarling made even Mace worry. “Just feel lucky he’s a leg man.” Mace couldn’t resist laughter as his struggle was finally about to pay off, Rotten was fighting hard but Mace was winning. Once the dog’s paws released their grasp over Travis, Mace drug the resisting dog into the living room and shut the door to give Travis a breather. “Get dressed.”

“I would but my clothes are in the washer.”

“Gym clothes!”

“Those are in there too.” Trav stood against the door talking.

“All of your clothes? Fuck Trav ... you’re an idiot.” Mace released Rotten back into the great outdoors just to calm his own nerves. As the French door shut Rotten turned his attention on pouncing against the glass windows of Piper’s bedroom to see Travis wrapping his waist in the pink towel.

“Can I borrow some of your clothes until mine are dry?”

“Noooooooo!” Mace was grossed out by the thought. Looking up at the ceiling camera he flipped it off, “I hope you caught all that. Never again am I babysitting.”

“What?” Trav heard Mace but didn’t make out his words.

“Grab a t-shirt from Piper’s closet. Keep the towel on.”

“Right! I can do that.” Travis looked to his right then located Piper’s walk-in closet. Turning on a light he heard Angel’s singing in the distance. “Whoa! Look at all the dresses. She could wear one a day for a year and never wear it twice. Nighties! Bikinis! Soooo awesome!” His dick grew hard thinking of her. Piper’s vision ended swiftly when Sable popped into his head. “This would look killer on my girl.” He held up a sheer black nightie with a fuzzy frill along the hem. “Oooolala! Fishnet stockings, garter belt.”

“HURRY THE FUCK UP!” Mace yelled realizing how long Travis was taking.

“I CAN’T DECIDE! THERE’S NOTHING MASCULINE.”

“Good grief!” Mace just turned the knob and marched inside finding Travis holding up a black t-shirt with the words TOP HEAVY, or a red shirt saying HEARTBREAKER with two tiny hearts over what was likely their wearers nipples, pending on the chest size. Shaking his head at the boy Mace searched for something else amongst her rail of assorted tee’s. Settling on a grey shirt that said, “Good Guys Finish Last, but Bad Guys finish Three Days Later.” It fit, the mood, not Travis. The tee was cut short, but on him his belly button was exposed above his towel.

“You’re picking clothes out for me now?” Travis goofily bats his eyes like a girl.

“Fuck you! I should have let Rotten keep humping you.”

“Sorry! I’m just making the best of my situation. Really, thanks man. For everything. Ummm? Don’t tell Sable I wore Piper’s clothes.”

“I am so going to tomorrow night.” He chuckled, “Let’s go watch TV until your clothes get done. Washer’s been running a while so it shouldn’t be much longer. Oh, by the way? Knox was checking you out.”

“WHAAAAT! Don’t fuck with me Mace. I had one video deleted I don’t need another to ruin my day.”

“Not much we can do if he did. It’s probably already live on Disgracebook.” Yes and no. The actual urination video was deleted by Big Calvin Knobbs, but the video of Piper and Furlong ruining Neo, Hoyt, and Dillon was thriving. With Dillon’s phone destroyed they had to live with it.

“My life is over.” He peers out the window from a hidden angle to see Knox still using his binoculars. “Fucking perv.”

“Takes one to spy on one.” Mace laughed, “I say when the time is right, we get video on him and counterattack his ass.”