Eisode 15: Hellcat

“This is not Kansas anymore, right?”

“Still wicked Witch of the West though.” Raven Mourn’s Granny told Detective Heather Choi. Upon entering her Victorian style mansion via an antique looking mirror with intertwining tree branches holding the looking glass the Korean kitty looked lost. “Wanna tell me how you walked through a mirror into a barrier driven Coven meeting?”

“Went from Dorothy to Alice! Instead of chasing white rabbits I chased white stuffed Kitty’s from Japan, my boyfriend actually. I was right on his and Raven’s tails when somehow I took a detour.” She covers her privates being naked, no blush, merely courtesy. “Wouldn’t have a cloak around I could borrow, would you?”

“Just a pointy hat.” Granny chuckled, “Relax Kitten, I’m blind.”

“Blind? Seriously?” Sighing Granny lifts her sunglasses and reveals empty sockets. “Ouch! Sorry about ... wait a minute! Gwen said you drove a truck from the backwoods to Boston. How can you do that blind?”

“Birds eye view Kitten. I ever catch you chasin’ my bird I’ll send yer cute ass to Alpha Centauri.”

“How do you know I have a cute ass? I could have a big fat one.”

“To match the lip, I’ll give ya?” She goes to a box on an old bureau and opens it. Removing something she cocks her head back and installs it like eyedrops. A second later she turns to face Heather with a glass eye installed. “Before ya ask, yeah, it’s a crystal ball. Gives me images that require my attention. Sit pretty, Miss Kitty.”

Looking around the bedroom Heather starts to sit down on an old chair that looked made of bones. Wincing at the possibility they were real she chose to remain standing up.

“Old boyfriend back in my younger lays.” Granny points a pinky at the chair, “Stole my heart, I stole his soul. Can’t get rid of my stalker now. Still tries to goose me when I sit down on him. My favorite chair in the crib though.” She chuckled then paused Heather from replying. “Yep! You got the Coven puttin’ on their Depends. Piss ants all of ‘em.”

“Why did they bow before me and refer to me as Goddess?”

“Because you stepped through the one mirror they fear most. The one that leads to Hell.”

“What? Hell? I came through Hector Alonzo’s bedroom mirror. Somehow it’s a portal that shows everyone where to go and takes us there by crawling through it.”

“First mistake, not everyone should be able to see through it, let alone travel into it. Only a true witch can conjure its abilities when she chooses it.”

“Maybe Raven, I’m presuming a witch, I know a Succubus, but if you and your family are all Succubus, Succubae, whichever, are witches now...”

“Lucky ones us.”

“Where’s Jezzabel, I want to punch her lights out. Claw her eyes out after that. She can be like you then. No offense!”

“Lights you say?” She taps a nail on her glass eyeball, “Ah! Now I see, how did I miss that?”

“Miss what?”

“Angel tantrum. My granddaughter’s lil’ lover girl has a warrior Angelus inside her. It was tryin’ to escape her prison.”

“Jody said she had an angel, she presumed Raven’s guardian angel.”

“Guardian? If it was free without bein’ on a leash it’d lop their heads off. My baby Succubus is one powerful youngster.”

“I don’t think she understands any of it.”

“Of course not! She’s flyin’ by the seat of her panties. That is when she wears any. Kids these days!”

“So, how did she bind an angel to Jody, then Jody somehow binding another with her mother Gwen?”

“Two angelus? Makes sense, I smelled two on the mommy. I just thought she was preggers!”

“She is.”

“HEY!” Granny taps her eyeball three times, “Stop holdin’ out on me. Angels and bambinos?” She searches deeper again poising a bony knuckle at Heather. “Aiiiiiiyiiiiiiyaiii!”

“What are you seeing?”

“Martha Stewart passin’ a joint to Snoop Dog!”

“Be serious!”

“I am! Guacamoldy dip sounds good! So does a pot brownie, the fairy kind. Good shit if he’s been eatin’ the right hag weed.” She laughs. Heather shook her head. “Fine! I saw the cutie pie let her guard down a tad and her Angelus broke the mirror with her sword. Sword sucked back into the kid, the mirror reformed itself, eldritch energies brought on by my granddaughter’s dark side. Fixed it right up.”

“So, the mirror goes to Hell?”

“Probably why the Angelus tried to sever the portal.”

“But with Raven the portals back.”

“Ain’t fixed with Gorilla goo.”

“She’s that powerful?”

“Her mark is different than when we all wore it. We’re still tryin’ to figure that out. Looks to me like the mark is duelin’ with the light. Ever notice the word RAM is part of MARk written out of order?”

“Just like Ark is. I love word games. Mark of the Covenant? Noah’s mARK?”

“I like you less and less.” Granny winks the eyelid over her one empty socket. “COVEN in COVENant!” A razz of her tongue made Heather actually grin.

“Jezzie?” Heather changed her reaction, “I’m pissed off at her for doing this Familiar crap to me.”

“My granddaughter’s a lil’ spontaneous. She saw you as somethin’ her kid loved, so she bound you to her. Jezzie’s makin’ up for lost time and tryin’ her way to know her kid. From what my ole’ eyesore here says, you told Jezzie you would watch out for her. Have her back. Which meant have her mark of sorts.”

“And that gave her the right to fuck me over?”

“Gotta learn to watch what you say around us Witches!”

“Well, the only positive thing I see in her tricking me is it allowed me to offer up some lives to save Keith Bryson.”

“Offer up? You sacrificed lives for a human?”

“Are you saying you don’t know what I had to do? The voice directed me to save him like I did. I’m grateful for that much, but now he and I are both wereleopards.”

“See Spots run!” Granny hissed, “Voice ya say?” She utilizes her eye in going back to the morgue to unfold events. “You hadn’t changed yet. Interesting!”

“Do you recognize the voice?”

“Can’t hear any voice.” She removes the eyeball and puts it to her ear like a hearing aid. Heather continued to shake her head. “Ah! That voice! I see now!”

“Goddammit!” Heather grumbled at Granny’s insanity.

“Figure of speech! Quit whippin’ your tail! I don’t know the voice. In her debt she said. You’re bound to Raven, so, no debts owed to anyone else.”

“Will my not paying up on any debt take Keith from me again?”

“You gave up all but one life for him. Worry more about your own. Kinda screwed your puss, Defective!”

“Detective!”

“So says the hellcat that kicked over her Meow Mix. You had nine lives given to ya SANRIO. Rearrange those letters, Kitten.”

“What?” Heather winces, “Rearrange the letters in Sanrio? The makers of Hello Kitty?”

“I’m waitin’!”

Mulling over the letters in multiple arrangements she shrugs, “I don’t know.”

“Think of the letter O. Only clue I’m givin ya.”

“O...? Just fucking tell me.”

“No can screw, Kitty Lou!”

“FUCK!” She sorts each letter then arrives on, “Snair? Without the O! Can’t mean Snare as in captured. Can it?” Her throat tingling, she caresses it to discover almost a collar imprinted like lines in a tattoo. Turning to the mirror she examines it to find a dark narrow circle about her neck. “When did I get this?”

“Had it since Jezzie turned ya. It was hidin’ in plain sight.” Granny indulges. “Ownership rights.”

“I am NOT owned!”

“Tell that to Raven.”

“So, the O is a collar which leaves the remaining letters that apprise Snair ... but snare is spelled differently. Snair with the letters I have to work with mean nothing unless you’re talking the weather report system ... RAINS?”

“Not gettin’ any hotter, Hellcat.”

“Quit calling me, Hellcat.”

“Hate to tell ya, but you kind of are now!” Granny hissed sarcastically. “Clean out your closet Kitten.”

“Meaning what?” She was losing patience, Granny humming the Jeopardy theme was not helping.

“Just call me ALHEX Tribek!”

“I’m gonna claw your only eye out Bitch!”

“Not my fault you got a bad rap.”

“Rap? Oh, come on! Snair as in ... you said clean out my closet ... you’re guiding me to a goddamned Eminem song? Snair as in a sick beat?”

“Heartbeat, Detective!” Granny sighed speaking with a saddened voice. “Only one beat from the end of a killer song.”

“It’s my life, lives obviously, to give up for the man I...”

“Love? Misspelled Evil?”

“The beginnings of Evolve!”

“I evolved once.” Granny offered a sorrowful expression. “He’s a crow now. Taken away from me by the Elders of the day. Stripped me of even my name. I wish I’d had nine lives to share with him.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Your lover that is.”

“Birds of a feather! I still use his quill to write love letters. He feels every word I share.”

“That’s actually beautiful!”

“Stop before my eyeball gets sweaty. I see Raven searching for you. Go to her Familiar, friend, loyal servant. Guard her when required! Bring her home when she is lost. Beware the Angelus, they will not be contained forever.”

“What about all that Goddess business?”

“One life at a time.”

“Only one left, remember?” Heather reminds Granny only to feel her neck throbbing. Warm all over she again checks out her neck in the mirror to see her flesh collar glowing white instead of black. “Why is it doing this?”

“My granddaughter is twisted.”

“Jezzie?”

“Raven!” As she acknowledges her name the collar widens as if being removed flowing up over Heather’s head like a halo. “HeavEnforcer!” Granny mutters.

“What?”

“Like the Alonzo’s, Raven has attached you to an Angelus. You are a hybrid of Heaven and Hell. HELLo KITTY!” She hisses almost in a trance. As Heather watches the halo with uplifted eyes admiring it’s beauty, she witnesses the circle twist into an Infinity symbol resembling the number 8.

“What’s it all mean?”

“Eight lives return to you. A gift! For your sacrifice.”

“To save Keith?”

“To save my granddaughter!”

“I don’t understand.”

“Circle of life!”

“So, now I’m the prodigy of the Lion King?” Again, the halo bends and stretches from the number 8 as if being pulled apart, finally breaking into the mirror images of a broken number 3 facing one another.

“33! The age of the Christ child upon death.” Granny grumbles rubbing her dentures from side to side comprehending the significance.

“Divine intervention?”

“It seems! Evolve indeed! Go home Kitten.”

“The Goddess thing?”

“Will sort itself out. Bast to leave it be for now.”

“Bast? Best?”

“GO, I SAY!”

Heather touches the mirror and her halo merges once more and lowers over her head to return to her neckline. Collar bonded she looks at Granny one last time and crawls through the mirror.

Home Sweet Home!

“There you are!”

Raven Moore, now rechristened as Mourn sat on a tattered blanket amid cat hair, holding her stuffed Hello Kitty. “I was beginning to wonder where you ran off to.” She watched Heather emerge from the mirror and land on her feet in front of the dresser, tits bobbing about in the swift stance taken. “We could have used you outside. Jody and Gwen were almost boiled alive. I fucked the neighbor boy Jeffrey. Keith ate him.”

“What? He ate ... damn!”

“I was badass! I even kicked the Darkevil out of our yard.”

“You did? Is Darkevil the Devil?”

“I don’t think so. I think they’re two separate entities. Brothers, maybe? Twins? Just a guess!”

“Uh huh! You like that Hello Kitty, don’t you?”

“Mom gave it to me. I’m trying to learn forgiveness, I think.”

“You know your mother tricked me into being your Familiar, right? I’m going to kick the shit out of her when I see her again.”

“I’ll let you. She deserves it for abandoning me.”

“Where’s Gwen and Jody?”

“Spare bedroom. Gwen’s having contractions.”

“Contractions? Already?”

“Ballooned up the second I purged Darkevil. Don’t ask me, I just kick ass.”

“This could be bad Raven. By the way, I met your Granny. Crazy bitch! Crazy witch!”

“Tell me about her.” She scurried to her knees with bright eyes full of curiosity. “I want to know more than I already do. She seemed nice in the backyard when I faced Argus.”

“Have you called to check on the girls from Crowley Manson?”

“Not yet! I kind of forgot. Still processing the purge.”

“I get it! They are your friends though.”

“Let’s check on them now. Then you can tell me about my grandmother.” Raven crawls from bed and stands with Heather to peer into the mirror. Waving her hand over the reflective surface a vision appeared, one that even Heather could see. Within the imagery was a name on a building to begin with. “E. Liaison Fields! Home for Girls? That must be where they relocated the kids after I told them to, for their safety. Why does that name sound familiar?” Need she remind herself that she was one?

“It’s one of three group homes in Boston. We even played soccer against them.”

“House Slytherin?” Heather mused as Raven shrugged at the reference. “Come on? You’re a witch slash Succubus and you haven’t read Harry Potter?”

“We weren’t allowed to watch the movies.”

“No? I used to love those but now that I know witches are real ... not so much.”

“We’re not all bad, are we?” Even Raven seemed uncertain. Heather hugged the girl to her side to share confidence in her.

“Go past the walls. Let’s check in on the girls.” The Detective pointed, Raven again waving her palm in front of the mirror. As if phasing through brick the images found many girls in their beds complaining of chills and abdominal pains. Nurses were checking temperatures and blood pressures. “That doesn’t look good. Your mom supposedly wiped everyone’s minds of the whole bus ordeal; cops included, considering they were raping the girls while under the influence of Argus. Such a shame they were all put into such a horrible situation. None of them deserved that.”

“Oh! Argus, Sugar ... he’s dead too.”

“Damn! You’ve been busy.”