Episode 21: Noose Travels Fast

“Let’s ride like you, Wind.”

Leaving Eagles Aerie, the rocky tower in a vast desert of West Texas, Sadie Lynn Outlaw with gun belt back on her hips made her way out of the darkness. Her lovely Comanche Girl Friday by the name of Chasing Wind perked up. It was her job to entertain former shaman to the Water’s Edge nation, Wild Turkey’s children. She had no choice but to quickly hug them and say goodbye. At least their father was available up high in the roost to verbally retrieve his future young warriors. Racing after the rip-roaring redhead, Windy as Sadie often called her, spoke up in her native language.

“What is it you have learned?”

“Not to let an old fart lead the way through tight passages. Shaman Him!” Shame on him, that is, in crazy cowgal humor. “It’s hard to explain Windy Lou, I’ll tell you all about it later. For now, let’s hook up with the loot lookers and set up camp before it gets dark.” Four hours of daylight at best.

Scanning about for her horse Tarnation, the shared soul inhabitant of her Uncle Brandon she heard his whinny but did not immediately see him. Stopping and removing her cowboy hat Sadie wiped her brow of sweat and visually gave search. “Where the heck are you, Glue Factory?”

Windy catching up to her laughed and pointed upward. High up on a rocky outcrop stood the black stallion nodding his head at finally being spotted. “How in the ... well, Tarnation did you get up there?” Tracing hoof prints on the desert floor she realized that was exactly where she had the horse rear up on its hind legs to stare up at Wild Turkey earlier. “Did you actually climb up there?” Her voice converted to thoughts, “Brandon was always a darn good rock climber, he used to climb sheer cliffs by hand, but come on how did he hoof it up there with no traction? Better yet, can he get down? I do not have time for this.”

Pacing about in thought she heard the cries of her Three Amigos, the eagle brothers, Larry, Moe, and Squirrely and tracked them against the sun. Oddly enough Sadie adopted their vision and understood. “Get your charcoal ass down here.” Almost as if laughing at her the stallion nodded rapidly, stomped his feet and turned left. Along that wall of rocks was a narrow trail which the beast carefully trod, disappearing behind the higher angles. Stones dislodged in his departure forced the ladies to back away to avoid a minor landslide under his bulk. Three minutes later Tarnation was trotting up to them.

“You are somethin’ I’ll give ya that. Innovative for sure!” Greeting her uncle from another horseplay she climbed up into her saddle and extended a hand to Chasing Wind. Before Wind could take Sadie up on her offer Tarnation bent his knees and laid down, taking Sadie along with him. “What has gotten into you today? Wrong desert and you’re no camel.” Although now that she thought about it Uncle Brandon did use to smoke Camel cigarettes until he quit. Was the horse recalling certain memories and reacting to them the only way he knew how? First rock climbing traits, now the camel ... naaa! Once behind Sadie’s sweet ass the horse rose up with no effort under their combined weight. Tough horse!

“You have trained the Devil well.” Chasing Wind sighed over Sadie’s shoulder, more a whisper in her ear.

“Don’t let him hear you or he’ll throw us both off.” Too close, whispers led to a swift kiss and a seductive giggle. Turning her attention forward Sadie encouraged Uncle Brandon to head for the hills, namely the mountainous terrain where Sadie had sent her companions. “Giddy Yup!” The horse actually listened for once.

Five hours prior!

“Who names a town Dogooder? It just lures in the outlaws.”

“It could be Dog Gooder! Just combined!”

The stagecoach departing Dallas, Texas was at the three-quarter mark of the Dillsby sister’s journey to hopefully save their brothers in Sugar Plum. Travelling alone up until this point older sister Madigan, the roughneck daughter and her sneaky ladylike sibling Malarky had the opportunity to plan. The strategy seemed simple anyway. “You are just plain dumb. Dog Gooder, I swear!”

“You never know.”

“The stagecoach driver just yelled out DOgooder, mile up ahead.”

“Oh! Silly me! How much further to this Sugar Plum?” Malarky straightened her petticoat out. “I really need to pee.”

“You just had the driver pull over thirty minutes ago.”

“I know! He made sure I was safe from critters while I tinkled.” So, that was where the term originated! Ah!

“You just wanted him to see your backside.”

“You hush! We never got to leave home so I’m making up for lost time.”

“Concentrate Malarky! Save the flirting for Sugar Plum so we can use that to our advantage. We need to make some money without robbing any bank like our brothers. It would kill Momma if we went down that road.”

“You leave that to me.” She winked then carefully showed her sister her healthy cleavage as if seducing her.

“What are you doing?”

“Showing off my lady parts like I did to Jarvis up there holding the reins.” At a closer inspection Malarky revealed a worn-out leather wallet. That was enough to get Madigan’s eyes flared up at the ingenuity of her middle sis.

“Where did you get that?” Madigan reached over and plucked the wallet out of its hiding spot. In reaction to her sister’s own bit of thievery Malarky feigned modesty with an expression of being appalled. An “I declare!” moment! Opening the wallet Mad found a healthy sum of greenback bills. Tossing the empty wallet back to Malarky, Madigan began to count the currency. “There’s enough here to get us a room and feed us for a week or two.”

“You are welcome.”

“How has he not missed his...?” Before she could even finish her sentence Malarky tossed the wallet out the window and left it to the desert. “Right! No evidence! He must have lost it in Dallas or when he got off the coach to watch you.”

“And I’m the dumb sister?” Madigan pocketed the money in her britches for safe keeping. “I might need some of that back.”

“Why?”

“To double our money. Hopefully our overnight stay in Dogooder can be eventful. Poker perhaps?”

“Do not risk our money Malarky. We need to be careful. There is no telling what we might need to buy in order to break out the boys.”

“Ye of little faith! With my boobies, brains, and whatever else starts with the letter B, I can promise we won’t go poor for long.”

“Daddy should have never taught you how to play cards. Better yet, how to cheat.”

“Daddy said I was a natural. I have an eye for detail.”

“You have an eye for men. Tug your dress up I can almost see your wagon wheels.”

“We’re here!” Malarky stood up but held onto the wall to peer out the door window. In passing by the good gentlemen of Dogooder, those who were walking the wood, every single one stopped dead in their tracks. Not at the coach arriving but her toppling breasts sticking out over the windowsill. Each and every one of those men crossed their fingers that she was a new dove in town. Sorry, fellas! Malarky Dillsby was not into playing with DOGooderS. Just ask her pup Scurry back in Dallas. Avoided him like the plague!

“Get back in here before you lose those and get into trouble for indecency.” Not likely, the Sheriff of Dogooder was already drooling as he and a very distinguished man in black walked along with him from the jail. Just in time Dillsby’s! The sheriff and his deputies were escorting a man in chains. A gathering up ahead on the street made the stage slow up to avoid running anyone over. Coming to a halt a few small blocks from the delivery station the hired gun, a grungy looking fellow by the name of Maurice Pertwee, dropped down and went to the coach door looking up at Malarky’s burdens.

“Sorry ma’am! This is as far as we can go right now. If you need to stretch your legs a tad, you’re welcome to. Looks like we might be delayed a spell.”

“Why for?” Madigan yanked her sister inside and replaced her in the window. Still beautiful but modest Maddy enquired while eying the Sheriff up on the boardwalk. Noting her curiosity the sheriff excused himself from his deputies and the man in black and jumped from the walkway into the sand street.

“I can answer that. You all showed up on hanging day. Sorry for the inconvenience. Sheriff Milo Harshtag at your service.” Hearing the word hanging Madigan went pale. Was this how it would be come time her brothers met their maker? She was not going to let them leave this earth that easily. “Yer welcome to watch if you want?”

Stunned by the morbid offer Madigan shot a glance up at the prisoner. “What did he do?”

“Horse thief! Mine at that!”

“He stole your horse?”

“Yup! I have to make an example of him, or every young fella will think he can get away with it.”

“He’s just a boy.”

“Who if left to get away with it would be a future career outlaw. The law is the law ma’am.”

Malarky tugged at her sister’s shirt and pulled her back. “I’d love to watch with you Sheriff. If’n you don’t mind my holding your arm when he falls.”

“What are you doin’?” Maddy whispered!

“I’ve never been to a hangin’! My sister is squeamish!”

“Sounds like you might be yourself.” Harshtag winked!

“Hardly! I just want a handsome man to hold me when I fake being weepy.” That garnered a laugh resorting Milo to gently nudge Pertwee aside in order to open the stagecoach door.

“Allow me!”

Accepting his hand, she launched herself from up high into his arms, her breasts smothering Milo’s face enough to knock his hat from his head. Luckily Pertwee caught it. Held in the air Milo enjoyed her melons a moment without complaint on her part. Finally, lowering Malarky to the ground she peered up at him and shyly whispered, “You did that on purpose. My name is Mary.” A tongue flip at him, he knew she had no objection. “Shall we, Miss Mary?” Guiding her up onto the walkway they rejoined the procession.

The man in black lingered behind giving him a bit of peace as he looked over at the stagecoach driver Jarvis Innman. “I won’t be long my good man. As soon as the outlaw swings with no pulse I’ll be ready to join you.”

“I won’t leave without ya, Judge.”

“Very good! My week is far from over I need to see the Dillsby Gang dead and buried.” Overhearing that haunted Madigan. So, they would be sharing a stagecoach with the presiding Judge. How much easier could things get. Now if only she could figure out how to hold the Judge without putting herself in the hangwoman’s noose.

“About time those thieves and murderers met with God. Devil more like!” Madigan lost all respect for the driver Jarvis. Now she was glad Malarky swiped his wallet. Smiling against her better judgment at of all people the judge himself Maddy decided to stretch her legs as well.

“I might walk a spell myself Mister Pertwee.” The rifleman offered her a hand. Hoping for a face full of titties himself he extended both hands for her to jump into him as Malarky had done with Milo. “I’ll pass! Not that you ain’t a handsome fella!” Ugly as a cuss! Instead, she refused his hand and jumped down on her own. Patting his belly, she winked and looked around for Malarky. Noticing her sister tossing something into the street as she flirted with Milo, Maddy began to take her stroll then paused long enough to make her worst fear known. “Don’t leave us, Jarvis.”

“I won’t ma’am! Pertwee and I are going for a drink until this mess is done and over.”

“As long as our bags are safe.”

“Locked in tight ma’am!” Waving she had the sidewalk to herself but chose the street so as not to disrespect the poor soul in chains. Even worse she was not ready to hear Jarvis bitch about losing his money. Madigan did not agree with the law over something so simple as a horse. Not that she hadn’t swiped an apple or three in her lifetime but as her daddy used to say those don’t fall far from the tree. Whatever that meant!

Looking around her for eyes it looked as if everyone was more intent on both the hanging and her sister. Her jaunt leading her to what it was that Malarky had tossed she realized it was another wallet. Stepping on it she stretched vividly and made one more pass of her surroundings before crouching to pick it up. Hiding it in a hurry within her shirt she took a seat on the sidewalk as if weary. Using her unbuttoned shirt to mask her sifting through the wallet she stashed the sheriff’s cash in her corset beneath. The wallet itself was slyly tossed under the sidewalk where it could be found someday. “Rainy day fund, Sheriff!” Glancing further up the street at Malarky aka Mary she saw yet another wallet in the sand. “How does she do it?” A deputy’s purse this time around. The jingle of spurs outweighed the jingle of coin.

On her feet she approached the second wallet and performed much the same. Boot off as if dumping sand, she deposited coins and used her body weight to prevent them being noisy. “Please don’t get caught Malarky. I don’t think I can handle seeing you swinging from a rope before our brothers.” Not today! Another toss under the sidewalk hid the deputy’s cloth pouch. Upright Madigan moved on until merging with the populace surrounding the wooden gallows. High noon nearing the deputy’s hauled the boy up a staircase and let the hangman prep him with a gruesome necktie. “I’ll say a prayer for you.”

Crying the boy begged for his life swearing he didn’t steal any horse. Malarky standing with Milo heard the sheriff mumble. “Last time you look at my Susan you little bastard.” Susan? Surely, Milo would not name his horse Susan. A hint of distrust in the man she feigned a smile and opted to fear the outcome.

“I can’t watch. Forgive me, Handsome Milo. I must turn away!” He let Malarky go, the buxom beauty bumping into others as if distraught. Reaching the judge, she collided hard with him and bawled her eyes out. Holding her to him he offered a “There! There!” Slick as a whistle she had his wallet too. Three slyly stuffed into her cleavage. “I fear I might vomit. I do not wish to soil your coat, Kind Sir. The taking of human life is not for me.”

“I totally understand, My Dear. Are you traveling further?”

“Yes! To Sugar Plum.”

“Really? That is my next stop. Then we can share the coach and keep one another from the boredom.”

“I would like that.”

“What business do you have in Sugar Plum?”

“Dare I?” She pouted, “A dove, Sir.”

“Oh, my! If only I were not married.” He winked at her and dried her eyes with his handkerchief. “You may hang onto that until we board the coach.”

“Thank you! That poor young man. He doesn’t look like any horse thief. He couldn’t possibly be more than sixteen.”

“I... “ He swallowed dryly and toughened up. “ ... did my job.” Took a bribe! Even a judge liked money. Too bad she now possessed it.

“Forgive me! You are the judge?”

“I am!”

“I see. I need air, might we talk more later?”

“Absolutely!” Stepping aside he and Milo both watched her wiggle away and beyond the congregation. With the hangman and a preacher calling things to order their attention turned. A sly nod out of Madigan from the boardwalk, Malarky scurried into an alley out of sight. Maddy joining her she shook her head.

“Are you aiming to get us hung too?” Malarky ignored her sister and unloaded the three wallets in her dress. Cash passed off to Madigan she added it all to her corset and they threw the wallets up onto a low rooftop. No proof now! Sheltered in the alleyway they heard a loud applause of gasping from the populace. The boy had his neck snapped in the fall. “God rest that boy’s soul.”

“I think the sheriff accused him wrongly. I heard him mention the boy and someone named Susan. I think he set that youngun up.”

“We can’t let on. Come on let’s head back to the coach. You keep those tears flowing to cover our tracks.” Nodding they left separately Madigan taking the lead. Convinced it was safe Malarky started for the sidewalk when she heard a thump behind her. Jumping at the noise she looked back and found two men grinning at her. Eyes wide they pounced and muffled her mouth, dragging her deeper into the alley out of sight.

“Look at you!” One man hissed, “We won’t ruin that purdy dress of yours, we jus’ wanna have a look see at those milk jugs.” The other man yanked her cleavage down. No corset beneath her clothing like Madigan wore, her breasts flopped free and were squeezed with delight on their behalf. Squealing she fought as much as she could until they heard a feminine voice clearing her throat behind them. Looking up at the new arrival the two rapists noticed a Hispanic woman shaking her head. Tossing Malarky to the dirt they stood up to face the Latina wearing a black camisole and man’s buckskin pants. A buckskin jack over her shoulder held by one finger. A camisole so skimpy on her golden flesh, chest heaving, had their attention far more than Malarky.