Chapter 1

You might ask why I was sitting outside my sleeping quarters, more like squatting on my hindquarters, looking down on the Earth below spinning on its axis. I felt certain the billions of human beings down there didn’t give a shit about us departed souls or what we were up to in the afterlife.

I hate to admit it, but things were getting intolerably boring lately.

Getting up in the morning, saying my prayers, because I wanted to show I deserved to be here and not in the heated regions way down below. Then the vile tasting porridge that we all ate because it was easy to dispense to one and all. I dreamed about bacon and eggs, and French toast, and delicious omelets all the time instead of sex like when I was still alive back in Long Island where all of us housewives had a secret stash of sex toys hidden under the bed.

We all had personal angels assigned to us up here to monitor our activities to make certain there was no relapse of character in that heavenly abode.

My angel was called Mark and strangely it was the same name as the prick that had pushed me overboard in the middle of the Ocean on a warm summer night.

It had been quite the shock to leave life so early just when things were looking so promising for my happily married life and my sexy husband and lovely children.

Then, I had won the seven day cruise with a lottery ticket and my husband was unable to join me because the hospital was so short staffed. Of course, he insisted I go on the trip, and I took my younger sister along with me to take his place.

The first five days of the cruise were fantastic, and Trudi and I had a ball what with the free food and free drinks each evening. I noticed that my sister Trudi was dancing awful close to this guy that was doing funny business on her bottom with his tricky hands. I had heard from the bartender that the guy was in the habit of making the cruises just to pick up chicks and screw them all night in their cabins.

I guess I was in the way of his intentions, because he kept giving me dirty glances when my sister was not looking our way. I should have been more cautious with him getting too close and when I least expected it, he gave me a shove on the walkway deck and the next thing I knew, I was under the waves wondering how the hell I got in the water.

When I woke up, I was on the other side of eternity and getting all settled in for an eternity of loneliness.

As I gradually became aware of my sister’s carnal thoughts and deeds copulating with the pussy-chasing Lothario Mark, I knew I was deep inside a bit envious of her good fortune in finding a guy with such a nasty agenda and with a huge cock that I had accidently glimpsed descending down between her legs as I peeked into our cabin from the cracked front hatchway.

The look of lust on her face was permanently imprinted on my memory card.

I remembered her as a small child so innocent and naïve at that time when boys were more of an annoyance rather than potential dispensers of manly juices that made young girls weep with love stricken emotions and passions that stirred their feminine juices into gushing torrents of sticky residue that absolutely ruined clean sheets.

Even here in this sacred place, my fingers wandered down to my muff and I stroked my long ignored bush with gentle sweeps of my hands all the way back to my virginal rear door that had never been used for anything except what comes naturally. I regretted my prim and proper attitude even with my own husband when it came to such matters, preferring to watch the naughty videos with him of girls with no inhibitions in that respect at all. I had no problem of whacking him off whilst we viewed the forbidden porn and he fiddled with my sensitive bottom with his feverish fingers.

Unfortunately, I was equally remiss with the use of my mouth and tongue directly on his demanding dick, just kissing him in the general area outside his jockey shorts. I think it was my reluctance in sexual matters is what saved my ass when it came to decision time about my final destination.

When I interrogated Mark about that fact, he was noticeably upset because he wanted to keep me mollified about my situation but was restricted in releasing details of my final judgement due to time honored traditions about “mums the word” when it came to specifics about such matters.

Let me explain a little bit about heavenly Mark so you don’t get the wrong idea. Sure, he was a male and had a dick and all, even if it was a bit on the small side about five inches. He was not inclined to pursue carnal matters although I had asked him if there was anything I could do to make him more comfortable in our tiny abode. (At the time, I was totally naked so he probably got the correct impression from my query) Of course, being a good angel, he declined because he knew it would not look good on his perfect record of not coupling with humans, either alive or in an afterlife state. I knew for a fact that the male angels and the female angels got it on in the nocturnal hours after the lights were off because I could hear them going at it with vigorous pounding. Our compartments had notoriously thin walls and little if any insulation to hide such encounters.

I guess that since they had the equipment and it was functional, it was only common sense to use it rather than just let it sit there and be ignored. Of course, the angels were not able to procreate with other angels or with humans in any state. On the other hand, they didn’t die and that was a big plus in any one’s mind.

Anyway, Mark had no problem with me washing him which included his smaller than average dick and sometimes I got carried away and caused him to spurt out his useless seeds all over the place making us laugh at the sight. I became somewhat obsessed with pushing my fingers up his angelic ass because I could tell he liked that best of all.