Chapter 3

Only Megan was grossed out about the booger eating. Like me, she considered it yucky. She tolerated it, but it wasn’t something she found amusing. This was entirely normal for my family because my wife has been performing dares like this for them.The sock stuffed in her pussy was kind of over-the-top but no one in the car was entirely shocked that they got their mom to accept the dare. Lilith’s participation today was the only really surprising thing so far today.

Even though I believe Allan would love to see his mother snarf down a booger at every meal, I will say that there is another unspoken understanding amongst my family that you can’t use the same dare TOO often. I guess the kids repeat a few every day like my wife will end up sticking her own finger in her butt at some point. Allan and even Paul would usually dare my wife to eat one of her boogers at least once a week.

It was shocking but harmless, and I never really minded that she did things like this either.

“Now, what I was going to tell you before was that we are almost at North Baker. We can go to Baker beach if you want to be around more people but if you bury me butt up – it’s probably going to draw attention to me,” my wife finally said what she was trying to tell Lilith with the sock in her mouth. There was no way she would have ever understood that.

Lilith was not always an angry, plotting vindictive little bitch. It seemed that way to me lately, but she could also be quite human and even sensitive. She was starting to feel guilty for her earlier behavior today and lightening up. My wife noticed Lilith’s attitude was changing and that made her smile. She didn’t want to jinx it by making a big deal out of it.

“Mom, I am sorry,” she looked down at my wife’s packed, swollen pussy. The sock was packed so tightly that it forced my wife’s pussy to expand. The microkini was so thin that and narrow that the sides of the sock were visible like red striped pubic hair.

“Why are you sorry?” Tracy was confused. My wife was paying attention to the road and since Lilith is usually melancholy, dark, or pissed off about something that it’s hard to tell if Lilith really is upset. She has what Megan calls “Resting Bitch Face” which is where when her face is in relaxed position, she looks angry.

“I shouldn’t have dared you to pack your mouth with a sock, and then dared you to shove it in your pussy. That looks like it hurts,” she looked down.

Lilith seldom apologizes, and you’d be right if you were skeptical when my daughter does because she might be trying to butter you up to manipulate you. In this case, she was genuinely apologizing, and my wife laughed and told her that it did hurt to keep the sock inside her. “My cunt is throbbing, and it feels like I have a wet bullfrog inside of me. Don’t ever apologize for giving me a dare. I could have said no.”

“Yeah, but I was being a twat, and I am sorry; you can give me a dare if you want,” Lilith offered my wife payback.

“I like to perform dares, not GIVE them. I don’t see them as some sort of punishment – did you enjoy watching me put a sock in my mouth?” she asked the entire car not just Lilith.

The general consensus was yes; they did enjoy seeing her do that – even Megan. It was shocking dare even for our family that she’d get in the car like that and go to the beach.

I don’t know what I would done if I had been with them. I would have probably been much more embarrassed than Tracy was simply being seen next to her like that.

“Okay, then. See? No harm, no foul. I am fine. I appreciate the apology, but I can’t forgive you Lilith because there is nothing to forgive you for,” my wife couldn’t carry a grudge any more than a bucket with a hole in it could carry water.

“I get a thrill out of doing the dare initially, a little adrenalin rush, but what gives the most pleasure is knowing the person who gave me the dare enjoyed it. If what I just did was making all of your stomachs turned, or you felt sorry for me, or like you had to apologize because I did it then that takes all the fun out of it.”

“So, let me see if I have this straight,” Lilith could hardly keep a straight face when she thought about what her mother had just said. The boys and Megan had heard their mother explain it the same way before and understood what she meant. Lilith wanted to repeat it back because it sounded crazy to her.

“You got a thrill out of picking your nose, and eating your booger mostly because this pipsqueak thinks it is funny to watch you do that?” Lilith cuffed her hand around Allan’s neck as if she was ringing it but in an endearing way to pull him closer to her while she asked her question.

“That’s basically it. A smaller dare, so a smaller pleasure,” my wife nodded.

“So. it didn’t embarrass you?” Lilith asked. She seemed genuinely interested and wasn’t being sarcasm. It was refreshing for my wife that Lilith genuinely wanted to know. There wasn’t anything she wanted share with her daughter if she asked.

“Oh, it did,” my wife nodded.

“And it didn’t taste good?”

“A little like escargot! I barely tasted it, but I wouldn’t order it on a menu if that is what you are asking,” Tracy quipped.

“Okay, and so this sock in your pussy doesn’t FEEL good, but it gives you PLEASURE because you know I think it’s super funny you’ve done something I told you to do that would not FEEL good?” Lilith asked the question slowly and emphasized certain words.

“I can only speak for how I feel, Lilith. It may not be enjoyable to you to do dares. If it were, you’d do them,” she began.

“Even if I liked eating boogers, I would do that alone and by myself,” Lilith chuckled.

“This is kind of like explaining what the color red is to someone who is blind who has never seen anything. I don’t want to over analyze this, but I’ve always had a policy that any question you ask I’ll answer,” Tracy emphasized that she WANTED to answer the question, but she was struggling because Lilith may not have the right frame of reference.

“I don’t like eating boogers. If I did, I would eat them all the time. What I ACTUALLY like is hearing a dare someone else gave me. Think of it as a little fantasy that I can make reality. I get a little adrenalin rush SOMETIMES when I perform a dare, okay? But the biggest reward is seeing the look on someone face when they propose a dare, and they know I took the time, effort and even sacrificed my dignity or privacy to do their dare properly just for them and it amused them. I can’t say it any more plainly than that.”

“I think I get it. It’s like when Dad asks you what you want for dinner and then you two talk for thirty minutes where he tries to guess what you REALLY want, and you just want him to tell you?”

“That’s annoying, and I wish he’d just decide where we are going, but no, that’s not it,” My wife said.

In my defense, I don’t know what my wife is in the mood for at dinner time, and I want to make sure she has what she wants to eat.

“You don’t want to decide what’s going to give you a thrill. It could be picking your nose. It could be stuffing a sock in your pussy. You like the suspense of not knowing what it is going to be until you are dared, and then you like the look on their face?”

“Yes, and I appreciate that, Lilith. I hate to think I am such a simple creature that I can be summed up in a paragraph, but that is the long and short of what makes me tick. I like making other people happy, and that makes me happy. The ones I like making happy the most are the people closest to me – the people I love.”

“You are kind of a freak sometimes, Mom, but you are my freak, and I love you,” Lilith was touched and understood her mother a little better. She didn’t stay that sentimental and sweet for long, but she did lighten up a lot and stopped being a total hassle that afternoon.

“And I want a raincheck on being able to give you a good dare if you are serious, but it won’t be payback or punishment. That’s not my thing, sweetie. Life is meant to live, and love and enjoy things,” Tracy added.

“Oh gads, now here comes the rainbows and unicorns speech about how we are all meant to understand each other and live in perfect harmony?” Lilith’s protest of her mom’s sweet advice about life was tempered with her own laughter.

Lilith wanted to be a goth girl, and her mother’s talk about things like that sounded “mushy” and emotional to her and that made her uncomfortable. Inside Lilith, she was just a regular teenager but, on the outside, she liked to project apathy and aloofness.

“I should never have let you take that sock out of your mouth,” Lilith joked with a quirky expression on her face.

“You didn’t LET me. I could have removed it at any time. I chose to leave it in because it was a dare and I take them seriously,” my wife explained.

“Yes, I know. You are the high priestess of the cult of the sacred dare, all hail the mighty dare and the sanctity of the 10 commandments of what one shall and shall not dare,” Lilith sarcastically mocked her mother.

Even my wife found that very hyperbolic depiction of her dares consuming Tracy’s life like a religion to be extremely funny.

“I know it seems like dares are all I do. Over the summer when you are home, I do a lot with you guys, but when you are at school, I just futz around alone in a big house by myself. I am a housewife with crap-tons of time on my hands. The other housewives around me drink wine and spend their husband’s money all day on extravagant jewelry. The country club lifestyle is not me, and it won’t ever be. Dares are fun and all, but if none of you give me a single dare today at the beach and we just hang out that will be fine.”

“Oh no, we’re giving you dares,” Lilith grinned with a gleam in her eye. It wasn’t a vindictive scary gleam either.

“Yeah, you may have to call for dare restrictions!” Paul piled on to his older sister’s comment.

“Dare restrictions are your father’s invention, not mine. Dare away! I can always say no,” my wife chuckled.

In my defense, I invented the concept of “dare restrictions” to limit the amount of dares the kids were giving my wife in a certain time span. As an example, let’s say I need her to get ready by 8 pm to go to cocktails with some friends and she gets caught up doing dares, and she’s still naked, sweaty, and her make-up is running down her face because they dared her to jog around the block again in some skimpy outfit.

If my kids are going out with us to Pier 39, or out shopping or even a simple meal at a fast food restaurant and suddenly Allan and Paul start competing to see who can run their mom ragged first then I place dare restrictions.

My wife will get very annoyed when they start bombarding her with dares, but she’ll try to accommodate as many as she can. I place the restrictions for her own good, and just so we don’t end up getting kicked out of McDonald’s again because Tracy keeps putting fries up her nose and dipping them in ketchup while making crossed eyes at the kids and laughing.

I have to admit it was funny, but now we can’t go back to that Mcdonald’s ever again. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. My wife had just pulled into the parking lot of Baker Beach. It’s closer and less remote than North Baker Beach.

She had to walk a little bow-legged with the sock stuffed in her pussy, and it chafed every time she walked.

“Jesus Mom, that sock looks really uncomfortable,” Megan empathized with her mother’s humiliating predicament.

“I’d rather pack the sock in my cunt than have it stuffed in my mouth. I wasn’t even sure how I was going to drink water like that. Lilith did me a favor daring me to put in my pussy because I was starting to think that would be too humiliating even for me!”

There was a short old woman in sunglasses and culottes with curly gray hair unloading her cooler next to the camper that she and her husband had retired in. They were probably from the Midwest -some boring place where nothing interesting ever happens. The old lady overheard my wife and glared at her.

It wasn’t unusual for women of that generation in particular to give my wife a sidelong glance of derision and turn their noses up. They didn’t and wouldn’t understand a woman like Tracy at all, and they certainly wouldn’t have approved of her parenting style.

My wife giggled, much to her chagrin.

“I didn’t think you COULD get embarrassed mom,” Megan said as she helped her mother unload the car.

“If wearing a bikini like this to the beach or picking my nose and eating it didn’t embarrass me it wouldn’t be much of a dare. It’d be like daring a person to pass you the salt at the table or wear a pair of jeans that fit them.”

My theory was that my wife got an adrenalin rush from some of the humiliation, but she usually just explained that she enjoyed doing dares and if people liked them they could watch and if not they could look away. “They will think whatever they are going to think. I can’t prevent rumors; I don’t try. If someone wants to know the truth, I’ll tell them.”

That was the answer she gave when people asked if she cared what others thought gave anyone else that asked the same question. She didn’t like to upset people and intentionally rile up people who are easily offended. She’d avoid that at all costs. However, if people got a thrill out of her seeing her perform a dare that made her overjoyed.

All the kids helped carry something to the beach. Allan hopped back and forth on his burning feet because he forgot to wear sandals and just wore his swimming trunks. The San Francisco summer sun was heating up the pavement pretty intensely, and I knew that had to burn the poor kids’ feet.

“Did you forget your sandals, Allan? I explicitly reminded you to bring them this time,” my wife sighed.

“I dare you to loan me YOUR sandals,” Allan snickered and pointed at his mother. That’s what he did the last time he forgets them.

“I really shouldn’t take this dare, and maybe teach you a lesson,” my wife kicked off her shoes. The heat of the asphalt grilled her feet immediately. She shut her eyes and tried to calm herself but then shouted “Fuck-a-fuck-a-fuck-fuck-a-fuck-a-fat-ass!” as she tapped and hopped around trying to carry the heaviest things they brought with them to the beach.