Part 2

Entry 17 - Abigail

After I got milked today, Abigail was waiting for me. She was crying. She said that she had just been bred. I noticed her pink nail polish on her toes and knew it had to be Logan. He had been paying special attention to her lately and I knew what he was up to. I sat down next to her, my heart aching for the poor girl, and wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

“It’s going to be okay,” I said reassuringly. “We’ll all get through this together.”

Abigail sniffled and nodded. “But what am I gonna do? What if I’m actually ... pregnant?”

“Hey, look at me,” I said gently. “No matter what happens, we’ll figure it out together. We’ve got each other, remember?” Abigail nodded again and wiped away her tears. She seemed slightly calmer now.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Don’t worry about it,” I replied. “We’re family here, right? Now let’s just take things one step at a time, okay?”

Abigail smiled weakly and then hugged me tightly. “You’re so strong,” she murmured.

“We all are,” I said with a smile.

And that’s how it is on the farm. We have to stay strong, even in the face of adversity, because that’s our only chance of survival. So I guess, for now, all we can do is keep fighting and hope that one day we’ll find our way out of here.

Entry 18- Raising Ana Claire

After Kelsie was killed, Ana Claire was left without a mother. Sarah, a nineteen year old who’s already had two babies and is waiting to be bred again assumed the role of Ana Claire’s nurse maid. She became her protector, providing the baby with love and security. But it wasn’t easy. Raising a child on this farm requires great strength and perseverance. We had to make sure Ana Claire was always clean and well fed; we also tried as best we could to teach her basic skills like how to walk, talk, and play. We were all careful not to get too attached, knowing that she would be taken away from us when she turned two.

Still, there were moments of joy during those days. Watching Ana Claire learn and grow gave us hope and renewed our spirits. Her laughter carried through the barns, and for a short time, we felt free. The other girls and I took turns watching her and taking her outside so she could enjoy some fresh air. We made sure she got plenty of rest and proper nutrition. Even though it was difficult at times, seeing Ana Claire smile despite the harshness of our reality kept us going. Meanwhile, I’m seven months along!! My pregnancy has been difficult but I’m sure it’s made easier by all the love and support from the other girls. I just keep my eyes on the goal: freedom. We will find a way out of here, one day.

Entry 19 - Hannah’s Babies

It’s been a few months since Hannah arrived at the farm. She’s only ten years old and is still too young to understand what pregnancy means, let alone take care of a baby. We all felt helpless watching her suffer through her pregnancy, knowing that she would soon have to give birth to two babies. Still, we did our best to help her out. We taught her everything we knew about taking care of an infant, from how often they need to be fed and changed to how to swaddle them properly. Dr. Andre examined her and discovered she was having twins, one girl and one boy.

Hannah went into labor last night ... three months early. We were all so scared for her but we managed to stay strong and help get her through it. We rubbed her back during contractions, held her hands, and whispered words of encouragement. And when it was over, she had two healthy babies in her arms - a little girl named Cora and a little boy named John. Hannah looked up at us with tears streaming down her cheeks, an expression of relief mixed with sadness on her face. Despite the fact that she knew these precious little lives would soon be taken from her, she couldn’t help but be filled with joy as she held them close to her chest.

“They’re beautiful,” she whispered.

We all nodded and smiled, our hearts full of love and admiration for this brave young mother.

But our happiness was short lived. Hannah was bleeding a lot. Dr. Andre rushed to her bedside and immediately gave her a transfusion, but it was too late. Hannah passed away in our arms, leaving us with two precious bundles of joy and an ocean of tears.

Entry 20 - A Hard Week on the Farm

It’s been a month since we lost Hannah. The farmer let us bury her because her body was no good for meat. It feel like things have only gotten worse since then. Allie’s baby got taken away before Cora and John were born, so she adopted them as her own. We are all so happy that she found a way to keep them safe. The farmer has been coming around the barn more and more, trying to get us pregnant again. He even took Greta away for a few days, but luckily she was able to return unscathed. Logan is still paying extra attention to Abigail, who’s now four months along. She’s putting up a brave fight, but I can sense her fear every time he comes near her. The other day he asked her to come into his office - we were terrified for what might happen, but thankfully nothing did.

Tiffany and I are both getting closer to our due dates. This is her ninth so she’s taking it in stride. But I’m still not used to my huge belly, and my feet hurt so bad all the time. I keep dreaming of freedom and escape, but it’s hard to focus on something that seems so far away. And to make matters worse, a virus hit the heifer barn and we’re scared the babies will get it. We’re all doing everything we can to avoid getting infected, but it’s hard. There’s no running water here so bathing is out of the question, and there’s only limited food to go around. Life on the farm has never been harder.

But no matter how bad it gets, I refuse to give up hope. One day, we will find a way out of here.

Entry 21 - Adrian

Tiffany gave birth last week to a big healthy baby girl. She named her Kelsie.

Today it was my turn. I was so scared, but the other girls held my hand and talked me through it. After what seemed like an eternity, my baby finally arrived - a beautiful little boy with dark hair and bright blue eyes. I named him Adrian after the kind doctor. I held him to my breast and nursed him, feeling his tiny body against mine. He felt so fragile and helpless in my arms, and yet I could feel the fire of life burning within him. It made me so happy to use my milk to feed my baby and not to make money for the vile farmer.

As I looked around the barn, I saw all of us mothers cradling our babies in their arms. The sight of so much love and tenderness made me feel a strong sense of solidarity and hope. We were united in our fight against the horrors of the farm, determined to find a way out for ourselves and our children. Nursing mothers get a break from being milked, so for the next few months my only job is to care for my little boy. I am so grateful for this chance to bond with him and be there for every new milestone in his life.

No matter what happens, I will make sure that Adrian never has to experience the horrors of this farm again. That’s my promise to him.

Entry 22 - Baptisms

I was raised in a Christian home. I got baptized when I was a baby, and I want to have my son baptized. I talked to Tiffany about what we could do. She loved the idea and we decided to baptize all the babies. We asked the farmer if we could have a ceremony, and he agreed as long as we did it all ourselves. We gathered up all the babies and their mothers, along with anyone else who wanted to be involved. With limited resources, we were able to provide a makeshift baptismal font in an old barrel filled with well water.

Sammi, the newest resident of the mother barn, officiated. We gathered around. I held Adrian close to me. Tiffany held baby Kelsie. Allie had Cora and John. Sarah had Ana Claire. Seven other mothers brought their babies. Sammi began the ceremony.