Chapter 24

Saturday 27 August 2022

When Larissa woke, early as usual, Alison was the only one awake. “Want to swim?” Alison whispered to her. The sun was up, so they tip-toed out and then down to the beach. “Wow,” Alison said, “this is a very beautiful location.” The beach looked northeast, and the sun was still low in the sky, and the sea was like glass. “I reckon we can do laps from there to there.” Alison pointed to two locations on either end of the beach, just inside the coral. “I swam a few yesterday.”

“OK. I’m game. It’s about seventy metres?” Alison nodded. “So about twenty laps?” Yes. “No racing. I did that yesterday!”

Alison shrugged. “Tomorrow then.” Larissa laughed at her. Whatever.

They swam shoulder to shoulder, counting to each other when they turned - no racing turns with coral around. Larissa could feel that she was going to have to swim very hard indeed to beat Alison.

They finished and made their way back to the beach, and sat on their towels resting.

“So how are you going with Landon?” Larissa asked.

“Good. Very good. Oh wait,” Alison said. Larissa looked around, and Layna was walking down the beach.

“You two,” Layna laughed. “No bathers?”

“Nah,” Alison said, “why bother here? Maybe later. How’d you sleep?”

“Great. To my surprise. No one else is awake. What were you saying?”

“Oh, Larissa asked me about Landon. It’s wonderful. Your advice was just so good. But I have a question.” Sure, Layna said. “Larissa, you told me not to get into bed with Landon until I was sure he was the man for me. So I haven’t, and he’s respected that. But it’s time. I have to decide.”

“Sure,” Larissa said. “I mean, I looked at you both yesterday and wondered why you hadn’t.”

Alison nodded. “It’s time, well and truly. And I would’ve done it a few weeks ago, but.” She paused. “You told me to do promises first.”

“I did. Yes. but you don’t have to.”

“No, I don’t, but I’ve followed the rest of your advice, and I have no regrets, so I’m doing promises with him first. Tomorrow. In front of you two, and Julian and Joe, and you can record it for my grandpa and his mum.”

“OK. Sounds lovely to me. We’ll be honoured to watch your promises. But you said that you have decide. So what’s to decide?”

Alison looked thoughtful. “You said that if Landon is the man for me, he has to hammer the world with his hands and his mind.”

“I did, yes.” Alison had really paid attention, that was for sure.

“So there’s never been any question that he does that with his hands.” Right, a farmer. “He really bent his back for his farm, and he mastered it, ran it as well as he could with no money. And he masters horses too, he’s really a natural. I could see that when we went the state competition, and the other trainers watching him, evaluating him, and then respecting him.”

“But what about his mind? That’s harder, because given where he started from, what chance did he ever have? And also, how much of that do I need? I’ve thought about that a lot.” She frowned. “So let me tell you what I’ve seen.” She told them about his thought process for running the farm. For having a go at the Olympics. How he turned things on their heads and took some homeless people into his farm after he met them with Alison, following up with Edna. How he stepped up and set up a field for the guys at her ball to do shooting practice, but laid down responsibility requirements after she told him what Joe and Larissa had said. How he went out and rescued one of her friends after she broke her word to her family and went to a party she was banned from, and kept his mouth shut about it when she needed someone strong to pull her out of what was looking like trouble. “So, my question is, is that enough for me?”

“And now that you’ve said all that,” Larissa said, “What’s your answer? I mean, we’re not going to answer that for you, right?”

“No. But I want you to tell me that when I tell you that is enough, that I’m not indulging in wishful thinking.”

“OK. That’s easy, that’s not wishful thinking,” Larissa said.

“Agree,” Layna said. “That’s pretty straight forward. Alison, I chose Joe because he’s the most beautiful person I know inside. So compassionate, and caring. It’s difficult sometimes, fans come and talk to us, and Joe will never brush them off. Larissa wants to know something about them so she can sign whatever with a message for them, which is lovely, but Joe wants to know, are they OK? That’s really touching, but sometimes ... anyway, the point is, I did not choose Joe because he hammers the world with his hands and his mind. But he’s spending time around Julian and Larissa, and he’s starting to.” Larissa nodded, she’d seen it. “So what I heard was, Landon’s got all the raw material to grow with you.”

Alison looked at them, and grinned. “Thanks. I guess I’m getting laid tomorrow! Awesome, I am beyond excited.”

They were sitting either side of Alison and they hugged her tight. “I’m really thrilled for you,” Larissa told her. “I just wish your mum was on board for you. But you said something about his mum?”

“My mum will come around. Slowly. But she will. Grandpa knows, though. He’s given me his blessing. And Dad likes him now. As for his mum ... a few weeks ago, I took her to hospital for treatment. Hard for her, and not easy for her to accept me doing that because I had to help her undress, and then, she felt really ill while she was getting it.” Chemo, Larissa knew. “I sat beside her bed and held her hand, and she talked to me from the heart, while she felt like death. How she worries for Landon, such a good boy looking after his parents, but then what? Just how much will it cost him? How she hated me for what my family did, but now she understands, I was just a girl, I didn’t understand. And then I just turned up one day and said Landon was my man ... really hard for her to accept that at face value. She doesn’t even remember you visiting, she wasn’t doing well that morning. But she told me, she’s watched me, and now she’s learnt to love me a lot, and her greatest fear is that I’m just a rich girl toying with Landon, this isn’t the real thing, and he’d never survive with his heart broken that badly. Remarkable, you know, because she mightn’t remember saying it at all later, and this is how she really feels, no lies, no agenda.”

“Very special then,” Larissa said.

Alison had tears in her eyes. “And she said, she didn’t think I was toying with him, but why haven’t I bedded him yet? If I loved her boy, why wouldn’t I give him that gift? So I told her, I’m waiting for us to make promises in front of you two, and then I’m going to bed him as completely as I can imagine, and as often as I can, for the rest of my life.”

Wow.

“I thought she wouldn’t remember that. But she did. The next day, she gave me a hand written note to give to Landon tomorrow. I’ve got it in my phone case. And she gave me this ring to wear, it’s her wedding ring, so I can show it to him when we do our promises and say, his mum gave this to me so he knows that she really loves me, and I’m what she wants for him.” Alison showed them the ring, a plain gold band, very worn. Very lived in. “I have to give it back, of course. But all that is pretty special, isn’t it?”

“That is very special indeed. Sophie was like that, helped me overcome some initial challenges with Julian, firmly on my side, and I love her, call her my real mum. And my own mum understands and blesses that because she knows how important Sophie is to me. So treasure that, it’s very special, and she can be a real mum to your heart. As long as you have her.”

Alison nodded. “I will. His dad isn’t such a fan yet, but he’s kind of buried in his own problems, and watching his wife die, so I have to be patient. She will die, the chemo is just to hold things off, but I heard what the doctor said, they can’t do chemo much longer. So it’s maybe six months? That’s another reason we decided to do the Olympics rather than college this year, we can be at his home and flexible. And I’m moving in with him when we get back, for the ‘as often as we can’ part, because I saw how Larissa does that, but also so I can be there for his mum, and you can imagine how that’s going to go with my family.”

They had a good laugh for that one. Indeed, totally impossible to imagine. They were still laughing when one of the other girls, Isla, turned up for a swim. “Breakfast’s nearly ready,” she said. “I’m just going for a swim.”

“I’m going in too,” Layna said, and pulled her wrap off, leaving her in just a thong. Alison and Larissa both jumped up and went in as well. They just swam lazily around the sandy section, talking about the coming day. Isla was excited about it, she was one of the more controlled girls, and she’d never done anything like this before. The weekend away, not swimming with naked girls, though she admitted she hadn’t done that before either.

Larissa left her towel on the beach and carried her clothes up to the house for breakfast. Once there, she wrapped a sarong around her waist, and didn’t bother with a top, since breakfast had already started. When she sat at the table, Sarah said, “You going to be topless all day?”

“Nah, probably not. I should get around to putting a wrap on or something.”

Sarah laughed and called out, “Hey girls, does anyone think Larissa needs to be put a top on at any time during the day?” She got lots of laughs for that, and no one seemed to think there was any need, and Harper called out that she looked awesome like that, so Larissa shrugged and decided to stick with the sarong.

Then Cornelia said, “Hey, you in just that sarong, that’s what you were wearing on YouTube, and you were just about having sex with Julian, right?”

Layna laughed. “No just about in that case, girls. You can’t see it in the footage, but I could see, Julian had his hand on her pussy going for it. We cut the footage off about three seconds before she came.”

She got a lot of laughter for that, and then Alison said, “Them’s the benefits of being a married woman!”

Larissa laughed. She was the only one married at the table, though she didn’t know about Emily. “That’s the only reason I married him, so he’s got a license to make me come on YouTube.”

“And also,” another girl said, “so you could do that dancing your wedding. Blew my mind, that did.” A chorus of support for that.

“Well, that was the best fun, we loved it. You girls should do that, you know. You’d be surprised how many people are up for that. When the cameras were off, nearly everyone did it. It certainly changed the mood of the day.” She could see them thinking about that. “Hey, we should do it later.”

“Nah,” another girl said, “I want to see you doing it in your sarong. That’d look great.”

“Sure, I’ll do that, but only if I’m not the only one. Sarongs all round!” More laughter.

After breakfast, Larissa hopped up again to help Emily tidy up. One of the other girls did too, so Larissa gave her a smile. Then Larissa saw one of the other girls, Patti, with a hairbrush, frowning, so she went over and offered to brush her hair for Patti. Patti accepted happily, so Larissa got her to sit on her mattress, and she knelt behind Patti and brushed her hair, making sure that she admired it for its body and shine. The most she could hope for with her hair was simple and straight.

“Well, I suppose that I spend quite a bit more effort on my hair than you do,” Patti said.

“No doubt,” Larissa said, “I just wanted you to know that I admire the outcome. What else do you do with your time?”

Patti explained: the classic heiress lifestyle. Half her time devoted to being able to look good, and the other half devoted to looking good - parties with the right guys, corporate events, political soirées, social media brand development, and a little bit of advertising. And managing her money. Larissa didn’t have that problem, she joked, and she put the brush down to massage Patti’s shoulders - she seemed a little tight.

When she looked up, she could see several other girls doing each other’s hair, so that was nice. Patti agreed that she had moisturiser, so she got that out of her bag and Larissa put it on her arms, shoulders, and face. When Larissa finished that, Patti said that it was turn, so Larissa sat there while she had her hair brushed, and a little shoulder massage, and cream on her face, shoulders and hands. Patti seemed pretty tentative about this, and hesitant to go anywhere near her chest - perhaps this wasn’t something she’d done much of. Larissa gave her a big thank you when she finished; it just meant she appreciated the gesture more. And Patti appreciated it, she could see.

Then Cornelia said, “Hey, everyone, we ready soon?” They all agreed they were, so Cornelia arranged the lounges and bean bags in a lose semi-circle around the TV, and Layna started setting up her computer. Larissa took the chance to run off to the toilet. When she came back, the girls were sitting waiting. To her surprise, two of the other girls were also topless, along with Alison. The others were just wearing some kind of wrap. Sweet, because she’d thought she might be a bit out of sorts, the only one dressed like that. Cornelia had put one of the seats from the table beside the TV, so she sat on that.

“Right,” Cornelia said. “This morning is about getting to know each other. Like I said yesterday, we’re all going tell our own story, talk about where we are, and where we’d like to be. We asked Larissa to go first because she kind of kicked this off. So Larissa...”

“Thanks Cornelia. So first of all, how much fun is this? And I don’t mean, presenting in just a sarong, though that is fun.” She got some laughter for that. “No, this weekend. I was lying there last night, thinking, who would’ve thought that back in school, I’d end up here with you all. I’m so privileged. So you’ve all watched my talk from the women’s dinner, I know, and that’s kind of my story. So this morning, I’m going to do something different. I’m going to play the raw video of me rescuing Lacey, without any commentary and you can just call out for Layna to stop it if you have a question, and I’ll answer them. Afterwards, I’m going to tell you about my story from a different perspective.” The girls were happy with that, so she waved to Layna to start playing the video. She got a few interruptions, common questions, and then some more questions at the end. She could have done Edna’s video, but Alison had agreed she’d talk through that.

“OK. So my heart. You know that my home was pretty much as bad as it could be. Abuse, rape, alcoholism. And it was misogynistic - my brother didn’t get anywhere near the same treatment, and he didn’t even know much of what mum and I got. And we drunk so much alcohol because I believed that it increased the chance that I’d live to see adulthood. So there’s this weird thing going on in me, on the one hand, I felt that the chances of living to be an adult were low, but I lived like I was fine to everyone else, studied, learnt violin, when I should’ve done ... what? I bet that each of you has some degree of experience with this. I know you do because when Julian gives me his best estimate of what’s going to happen with climate change, I wonder why I’m even going to have kids, but the world is still planning for a future as if it’s not happening. Layna’s going to talk about that weird dichotomy, but it’s inherent in us, a survival mechanism.”

“So I broke out of that home and trap, I talked about how. And weird and crazy things happened to me, up to going to the White House with Layna. I’ve met the prime ministers of Australia and New Zealand. Maybe that’s not that special for you girls, but believe me, from where I came from? That’s just mind-blowing stuff given my background. So where am I now? Well, I said in my talk that I was full of rage. And I was. It circled around in my heart looking for a place to land. Julian and I channeled it into my core, and I punished it. I’d do these exercises and I’d burn with pain, and I’d like that. Which is how come I could lift Lacey the way I did. Well, what happened to that rage? OK. I’m married. I have a rich love with my husband that Layna praises on YouTube. And Julian is my soulmate, I have no doubt about that. Because he’s the only one who can manage that rage. Why do we have such intense sex? Why am I always being busted for crazy sex related stuff on social media? Why am I always on the go? Always driving to force change? Why must I love everyone around me? Why must I do my campaign, take what are such crazy risks to other people? It’s because the rage is still there, channeled into these good things, but I must do those things, and Julian knows that there’s this beast inside me that we cannot let get control of me. I must keep it caged, and I must let that passion drive me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life, love what I’m doing. I really love it when Julian blows my mind, and I make sure I get that often.”

“Some of you will be listening to this, and thinking, that’s really not a great place to be. But it’s my best place. And others will be listening and saying to yourselves, I don’t have that thing in me that drives me like that, that jet engine that can’t be turned down. I know that it’s partly just how I am, but what happened to me turned it up, that’s for sure. If you don’t have it, great, you’re lucky. Don’t copy me, that won’t be your best life at all. But I do wish for each of you to decide how much you want to achieve, in your own heart, and figure out how to do that, so you can be at peace. My brother - Matt, Bob’s son, and Bob’s going to be billionaire, Matt’s found himself a pleasant woman who’s perfectly happy to fit into his life, and let him make lots of money. Don’t get me wrong, I love her a lot, but that’s what she is. And she knows that, knows the price and the benefits, and she’s at peace with that. If that’s you ... we want to talk about how you choose a man to be your ship. But that won’t be me. As Kayla said, I do no man’s bidding. Except Julian, when he ties me up.” She grinned. “But I’m going somewhere. I always will be, even if it’s just working crazy hard to love the people around me.”

“So where am I going? What’s my future? I have no idea what it will look like, but I know some things. I want to have good friends. I want all of you to be part of that, for years. I want to have tight relationships with my families. I want to have a deeply intense relationship with my husband, with mind-blowing sex. And I will have my faith. And when the time comes, I’d like to have babies. My mum’s pregnant, which is just lovely for her, and close friends and sisters are pregnant, and Julian had to work really hard to get my head to pull my heart back in when I found out about mum, because my heart wanted to have babies crazy very much. But Julian’s right: my head wants a bunch of other things first. And I want to keep saving animals and people, because that helps steer my jet engine. So, my faith, my friends, my family, my man. That’s my recipe for success, now and in the future.”

She stopped and looked around. The girls were listening raptly. “Wow,” Cornelia said. “Thanks, Larissa, that really was about your heart, and I feel like I understand you now.” She heard a strong muttering of agreement. “Can we hug?” Of course, So Cornelia stood up and hugged her tightly. “You don’t mind doing that topless?”

“Oh no, it’s better. Less between us, more intimate.” Cornelia smiled for that.

Alison was next to Cornelia, and she hugged Larissa tightly. “That was so honest and open. I love what you are.” All the girls gave her a hug, and some dropped their wraps to do it, which was nice. ‘

When she’d hugged all of them, Cornelia said, “OK. Any questions or comments for Larissa?”

“What do your families make of you, Larissa?” Harper asked. “What are your ‘families’ plural?”

“Julian’s family, that’s my real family, the family of my heart, you’d say. And mum’s new family, Bob and Mary and their kids, and then Thomas my brother and Jane. Then there’s my awesome sisters, from across the families and some honorary sisters. Layna, here, and Alison. And what do they make of me? They love that I love them intensely, and they roll their eyes when I cross the line, and gently reel me back in, and they give me a home to love being part of, and they share in my achievements and love me for them. And then there’s the most important family of all, Julian and I. And Julian loves me for what I am. Awesome.”

That set the tone for the morning - the stories the girls told were emotional and intimate, and they got hugs afterwards. Many of them chose to talk topless, or in just a minimal bikini. There was a lot of talk about families, both good and bad. Alison told them about her broken family, her grandpa towering over her family, and how challenged she’d been, and walked them through the Edna incident and response, and how people reacted to that. And her plans? Landon, and maybe the Olympics if she made it, but really: for them to rescue animals, and people.

Finally, it was Layna’s turn. “Wow,” she started with. “This morning has been such good value! I know you all so much better now. So personal, and intimate. And now I have to hold my end up! OK.” She took a deep breath.

“So you know I’m beautiful. Everyone says that. Want to know how I found that out? I was young, too young to know, just fourteen, well, a man I looked up to, he told me, I’m stunningly beautiful. Then he grabbed my pigtails, stuck his dick in my mouth, and thrust till he filled my mouth up. So when people tell me, ‘You’re beautiful’, it doesn’t fill me with pleasure. At least I can say, unlike Larissa, that I never saw that man again; I don’t know exactly what my father did to that man, his brother, but he had my back. And I do love my parents.”

“But having that tension in my mind always, ‘You said I’m beautiful, would you like to fuck my face too?’ - that made me aware of the pain the world. There’s so much. And I don’t have quite as much rage as Larissa, but it’s there. And that’s why I must do my project, why I have no choice. Yes, we all have a huge challenge with climate change, but why me? Why I am I the one? Well, I’m beautiful, so can I get in your face? I can, and I must. And I will. Like with Greta Thunberg, the predators are all around me, trying to, well, fuck my face all over again in a different level. Well, fuck them, I won’t be diverted. I have around me my incredible team. Julian, Larissa’s husband, one of the best climate change scientists in the world. I’ve seen him tested at the White House and elsewhere. Chez, my producer, who turns Julian’s ideas into these incredible videos that everyone wants to watch. Steph, who has all my passwords to everything, and I trust her with my life. The rest of my team, totally committed to our mission. Larissa, who guards my heart, and not only figured out that I had been raped, but pretty much who and how, without me saying a word. And most of all Joe, my fiancé.”

“Everyone wonders, I know. What’s Layna’s guy like? Must be amazingly good-looking, right? Well, I talked to Larissa, and I went hunting for a beautiful guy. On the inside. Gentle, loving, compassionate. And now that I’ve found him, I love him more than life itself. When I told Joe what happened to me he said that he would never come in my mouth. Never happen, I was never to try. You know what guys think about that.” They sure did. “I was losing heart in the project. Sure, hit counts were up, everyone looking at my bum and my tits. Wanting to fuck my face, no doubt. But Joe ... he completes me, and he takes that rage, and focuses me, on the project, and fills my life with his compassion and makes space inside me for everyone else to love me.”

“And why is my project so important? Well, let me get technical for a minute. Here’s Julian’s latest summary. He made it for me the other day, from a model he maintains with some scientists across the world, and it’s the model that the National Climate Advisor in USA uses. So it’s the best we’ve got, and John Kerry will be using it in a couple of weeks at a meeting I’m going to with him in Europe, with Julian.” She showed them Julian’s model, the graphs, the range of estimates, and the forecasts, based on different kind of actions.

“So. If we go on as we are, don’t change our course, there’s a ten percent chance that it’ll just be bad. All the other chances are worse. There’s a five percent chance that it’s already too late for civilisation. If someone took those numbers to business owners about their businesses, they’d kick risk management into high gear, and do something about it. But instead, if their businesses are making money selling carbon, they’ve kicked a risk hiding process into gear, to make sure the fire keeps burning, and unless that changes, your children are doomed. And mine, and Larissa’s babies she so desperately wants to have.”

“So how can I ignore that? I won’t. I can’t. My hope for the future is that we decide that we’re going to transform to a renewable energy grid, and all the people stopping that get on board and get wealthy making it happen. Then I can retire, and love my very special man, and have babies with him. That’s all I want in the future. I just don’t think I’m going to be allowed to get it.”

She stopped, done.

“Wow,” Larissa said, “Girls, Layna does not speak about that. Ever. Are you OK?” She jumped up and hugged Layna, who started crying, with great shuddering and lots of tears.

But Layna recovered quickly and then looked at the other girls. “That’s why I never speak of it. Just the once to Joe before this, and only because Larissa got me to. And you see Larissa guarding my heart, like usual. She did that after the White House visit. Love you, bestie. Anyway, I’ll be OK.”

She got hugs from all of them first, and then it was time for questions. Cornelia disallowed ‘so what’ type questions, and technical ones about the modelling - important questions, but for later. Questions about Layna’s story, her heart, those she let Layna talk to.

“What about your family? What do they think?” Harper asked.

“Families. My family, just my parents, freaked out about the risk I’m taking choosing to be a public figure, and barely able to talk about it. Joe’s family are compassionate and supportive, but don’t really understand why, or the price I pay. Julian and Larissa’s family, that’s where my heart is at home, they love me for what I do, and know the truth about me, and open their hearts always for me. I can just turn up and whoever is there welcomes me, and gives me peace. Julians’ mum is very special, and Steph and her husband Xander are my buds. I’m always welcome in their arms, their lives, their heart, even their beds. We’re welcome. Whatever I need to get peace.”

Larissa piped up and told the girls about the Christmas lights. Layna smiled and said, “That is a favourite memory for both Joe and I.”

“You said you’re welcome in their beds?” Patti asked.

Layna smiled. “Yes. Joe and I, cuddling in bed with each other and Steph and Xander, or Julian and Larissa. So safe and secure. You’re thinking sex? Nah. It’s better than that.”

Alison piped up and said, “I slid into bed with Larissa and Julian. All of us naked. Oh, I’d have done them if they let me, but they don’t do that. But they held me and loved me, and it was wonderful. Peaceful and intimate, except when Julian farted.” They burst into laughter for that. “Anyway, I know what Layna means.”

“Anyway, that’s how I survive, that I have those friendships that go so far beyond normal ones, that let me go so far beyond a normal job.”

“All right,” Sarah said, when the questions were done, “What do you want from us?”

“So I want to interview your families on for my project. What drives you? What world do you think that your kids and grandkids are going to have? Do you care? And I want to put that on my channel. Your families, they don’t want to do that. I don’t want to hurt their investments, reduce their value, damage their relationships. I could, I could just say what everyone thinks, go after them using the normal corporate warfare that they already excel at. But no, I just want to talk to them, get their personal feelings on the record. But I know, and they know, that speaking honestly like that could cost them billions, because they no longer have morally defensible investments. So what are they going to do?”

“Also, I want you to have good lives. I want you to do something with your lives. I know how hard that is, and we’ve heard this morning from you all about that; every one of you is doing something good, or even great, but all of you want to do more. But life is full of challenges, and so I want you to help you overcome yours; and I can, I can give you something no one else can, if you want it: a voice. But also, I want you to ask them, are they happy with the example they’re giving you? That they’ll be giving to your children when you have them? And I would like you to tell them: if or when they have morally defensible positions, then I want to talk to you as family and put them on record.”

“Thanks,” Cornelia said. “So we’re going to think about that, and you’ve got until tomorrow morning to think and talk, and you ask each other questions between now and then. Emily’s about to serve lunch and then we’re doing go down and hang around on the beach.”